We broke up because...
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He only wanted to date virgins and called himself the devirginizer0
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She smiles to much0
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She never took off the Elmo costume1
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I wanted to see DC series, while she wanted to watch Endgame0
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Took the minion role to seriously1
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Make me tickle her constantly0
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He refused to be touched0
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She had a foot fetish 🤢0
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He couldn’t stop flexing them guns0
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She didn't like that I always carry a gun...0
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He wouldn't share the bacon.0
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He was caught making out with a fish
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He had a tattoo of 2 pigs doing it with the words"Makin bacon"1
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bigjuicy1234 wrote: »He had a tattoo of 2 pigs doing it with the words"Makin bacon"
lmao, i would find that so funny
And for you... well, we didn't i could never break up with you buddy1 -
She didn't like that I always fell asleep on bonsai trees.0
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He spent all our fortune bidding on Pamela Anderson’s first breast implants0
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He wanted "water pillows" for our bed.... I was only being thoughtful! He was so inconsiderate.0
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She invited my guy friends to go lingerie shopping with her0
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He didn't want to hold my bags when were out shopping.0
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In the words of the Eagles "we never broke up, we just took a 14 year vacation".......alone1
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His heart belonged to Kelley and Mary and Alice and Tammy and Chloe and Debbie.0
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She insists to have boots in bed...0
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He said i just couldn’t make a good drink to save my life0
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I always made her drag my bowlingballs up the hiking trail, just so i could roll them down again0
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