We broke up because...
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He had slumber parties when I was out of town on business.....I came home once and found a bunch of adults wearing animal costumes π...how childish0
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She never liked playing dress up, I mean come on let's spark up things in the bedroom a bit!0
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There were no fireworks left in our relationship!0
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she set off fireworks in the middle of winter. They are supposed to be for forth of july!0
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He was a pyre0
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Was always planning my Viking funeral0
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she set my boat on fire, and blamed someone else.0
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She was always curious about Motorboating π-1
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She didnβt like motorboating and itβs kinda my thing0
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My motorboats are too big. Itβs exhausting to keep up. π itβs a good thing they float on their own.π¬0
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She wouldn't let me motorboat in the water with her.0
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He was always hitting on the greatly endowed women at the pool, no matter who! π΅0
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She thought I was flirting with every woman I talked to. I was just trying to make friends, honest!1
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She caught me drugging her so she'd fall asleep and I could hang out with my women friends.0
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He stole my drugs that I was gonna use on him and then he stole my women friends.1
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She wanted to drug me and then take advantage of me with her women friends, I told her one green pill lasts up to four hours.0
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he wouldn't watch tech news with me.
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He was too Techy ...aka NERDY!!!
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She was too stuck in the 90's. Nerds are cool nowadays.0
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He was so just so nice and I didn't want to be his downfall.0
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Loved her dog more than me0
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Would scream out the truck window "Wolverines!!!" Whenever we drove through town.0
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She grew a beard during full moons. I was okay with that, but the howling kept me up at night.
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She was too worldly for me0
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I found out about "The Basement" π§0
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I could never get her out of Jo's basement.0
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She didn't try hard enough! π’0
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she only cried from one eye. It was super weird.0
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He spent all his free time knitting scarves for his Cabbage Patch dolls. He wouldn't spend any time with me. 0
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She would bring home the best leftovers and I would have to watch them go bad because if I ate them or threw them away she would whip me until my skin blistered!0
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