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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • JoeyTheWanderer
    JoeyTheWanderer Posts: 224 Member
    Avoiding my admittebly cute stalker is a farcry from wandering away. Your perceptions just don't match up to reality.
  • swclifton
    swclifton Posts: 421 Member
    He was so scared of others and kept hiding and leaving me all alone while he was in hiding.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    He was always looking for someone else.
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  • JoeyTheWanderer
    JoeyTheWanderer Posts: 224 Member
    She invited her harem to our honeymoon. I just woke up from a coma; that started in 2020 *BC!!!*.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He never his husbandly duties claiming “coma.”
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  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    he had panic attacks because he was writing a book on panic attacks
  • JoeyTheWanderer
    JoeyTheWanderer Posts: 224 Member
    He speaks in tongues when aroused.
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    He tried to sell my soul to the devil and have her cult sacrifice me.
  • JoeyTheWanderer
    JoeyTheWanderer Posts: 224 Member
    His soul was already owed to Slimgirljo, paperdoll, and two pizza delivery men.

    Before I forget~You wouldn't happen to have any of that Pizza left perchance? Would you?
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    He tried to eat my pizza even though it would cause him to go over on his caloric and macro intake.
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    He wouldn't let me eat my own pizza. Get your own!
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He never shared his pizza. A girl needs pizza too. 😒
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    She was hugging everyone and not social distancing. So she gave me the virus.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He spread vicious rumours about me and then claimed he was “in quarantine”
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  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    No, it’s because I refused to play naughty nurse AGAIN.
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    All she wanted to do was play doctor.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    he wouldnt say 'bless you' when I coughed
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    Was too demanding.

    I don't have to say bless you during a medical exam!
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    She didn't try to understand me....
  • JoeyTheWanderer
    JoeyTheWanderer Posts: 224 Member
    He wanted me to dress up as a moose. Dangit I'm a Panda! I ain't into that weak *kitten*.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He was always picking fights with other animals. Can’t we all just get along!!!
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    She's too feisty of a cat for me.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    He wanted to fight his own battles rather than having me stick up for him.
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    she didn't let me fight any of my own battles. Gotta build up my own self esteem, ya know?
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    edited April 2020
    he wanted to seek couple therapy in the middle of our honeymoon. What a buzzkill.
  • Kyle_AKA_Moose
    Kyle_AKA_Moose Posts: 1,051 Member
    Wouldn't take me on the honeymoon
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    He tried to get in the way of my other relationships.

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