We broke up because...

mattig89ch

He was always in a tux, even when sitting at home and watching cartoons

swclifton

He never wanted to dress up and go out on the town, even when we could when no social distancing was heard of (wait, when was that time...I've forgotten when it was).

slimgirljo15

His memory sucked, he kept calling me Mary

Kyle_AKA_Moose

I thought she really was Mary.... that explains it.

lisagclonmel85

He played with his golf balls more than me

Keef75

She traded me in for a younger model....

slimgirljo15

So old his radiator leaked and his exhaust constantly backfired 🤭

PaperDoll_

She neglected me. 😢

slimgirljo15

She.. She, oh it's too horrible to put into words

FabulousFantasticFifty

Every time I asked " How does this outfit look on me?" she became speechless! 🥴

lisagclonmel85

She kept telling me I wasn’t fabulous ☹️

scottiam543

She wouldn’t believe how fabulous she is

jtsurfdb

Dude kept leaving the seat up.. 😂😂

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was waaaay more Fabulous than me! 👑

🤪

mattig89ch

I wasn't fabulous enough for her

swclifton

I never could convince him that he was fabulous enough

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FabulousFantasticFifty

He had this problem with nudity, how could I be comfortable around my own house?

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mattig89ch

he didn't let me wear crocs

PaperDoll_

I prefer my men in heels and he wouldn’t comply.

scottiam543

I wanted to wear her heels and she wouldn’t let me

swclifton

His heels were too high and pointed and hurt when he walked on me

mattig89ch

I'm more of a *don't* tread on me type of guy. We would have never worked.

Kyle_AKA_Moose

He would not shave his beard

scottiam543

He wore his golf shoes to bed

FabulousFantasticFifty

He showered with his skibbies on 🤔

mattig89ch

She wouldn't explain what skibbies were

JoeyTheWanderer

He's married to his Mustache.

Cat0703a

Joey kept wandering away!