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We broke up because...
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She’d make me wear the wrong shade of lipstick, a hardness and a leash 😂0
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She didn’t have the equipment I needed0
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She ate my French fries and didn't share hers0
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They expected me to share
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She gave me a box of chocolates, but then ate them all!0
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She gave me a heart shaped box filled with celery sticks for Valentine’s Day0
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She fed the dozen red roses I gave her for Valentine's Day to her pet goat0
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He abbreviated everything and it caused some miscommunication 😳0
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She'd get mad whenever I'd use contractions. Is not it proper English?0
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The tofu patty melt0
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He was always falling asleep too early0
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I fell asleep and left her tofu cooking in the oven.. oops!0
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When I got up to go to the kitchen to get my evening snack--celery and carrots-- he said he brought home a lemon meringue pie and a tuxedo cake. Would I please bring him some of each? I did. Pie in his face. Cake on his head. He's gone.0
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She was very messy...0
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He got mad that I wouldn’t put his picture in my profile pic too. What would my side pieces think!?0
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She had too many profiles!0
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Tried to make me get a tattoo of a ladybug on my cheek0
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Had a tattoo of a ladybug on his ----cheek 🐞0
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Didn't have enough tattoos!0
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It was hard to get work with “property of AdahPotatah2024” across my forehead0
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I was hurt all the time0
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He had an issue with me wrapping him in bubble wrap to keep him safe.0
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She wouldn’t cut air holes in the bubble wrap0
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For some reason, he came home injured every planned date night. Coincidence? 🤔0
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She kept spiky plants and cacti all around her front porch.0
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He kept meowing at me and calling me Cat 🤨0
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She misgendered her exes and I wasn’t cool with that0
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She was too woke for me.0
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She wasn't woke enough....In fact...she slept 20 hrs a day0
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He replaced my coffee with decaf!0
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