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We broke up because...
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wouldnt bail me out of jail0
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She had an orange is the new black experience in jail0
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She was in the slammer0
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She looks better in red lipstick and my ego couldn't take it0
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Wouldn't let me play with her chia pet.0
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She looks like Christina Aguilera but sounded like Britney Spears. Or Bart Simpson. Wait, both Britney and Bart sound the same. Hmmm.0
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Thought quantum mechanics was a TV show!0
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Cause he was too nerdy.0
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didnt love bacon. Obviously she wasnt human.0
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Told her I was going to give her a cream pie and she sat down with a spoon.0
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He then made me feel guilty...for eating the whole thing. This is a judge-free zone.0
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She was too judgey, but she acted like she was not.0
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He called me out on my BS all the time.0
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My only angel was a foodcake.0
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He out dressed me everywhere we went0
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He was always hitting on other girls0
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she didn't like the girls I brought home for her.0
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I couldn't stop looking at her chest0
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She just used me to try to get my fortune0
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