We broke up because...
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Never washed his underwear0
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Couldn't keep up w her shopping0
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Wanted to take selfies all day long...
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He kept forgetting my name0
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She said my name too much0
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wore a mask all the time0
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Wouldn't wear a mask for sexytime (I'm big into roleplay obvs)0
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continued the role-play on to the street.0
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She said i take too many selfies0
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Just always looked mean as f&$k.0
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Used F word in every sentence.0
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Didn't like the use of the f word0
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She wouldn't let it go...0
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He couldn't take a joke0
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She didn't like the cold0
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she stalked me.0
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A fourth nipple is nothing to laugh at.0
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He didn't have enough nipples0
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He had two nipples.. I can't handle anatomic perfection.0
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used big complicated words0
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Wouldn't take me with him to the bacon festival
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Always pulled out a dictionary when we had a conversation.0
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Always used big fancy words to make himself seem smarter0
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Always mysteriously vanished at 4:200
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Never recognized April 20th as a significant holiday0
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not sure what holiday talk was about0
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I ate all the bacon.0
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Told me to stop breaking into his house.
I just wanted to make you breakfast in bed and you had to ruin it0 -
she wouldn't make breakfast.0
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Belching was his way of saying thank you0
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