We broke up because...

LiftingRiot

She ate left twix and I ate right.

Spnneil06

he insisted there was a difference between left and right twix, i was just sharing a candy bar!

pechepanda

she only had grape lollipops

LiftingRiot

She didn't serve me the right twix

Spnneil06

She never would share the cherry ones with me!

Oops_Myhaloslipped

She tried to steal my cherry, errr, lollipops? Wait, what were we talking about?

Noelv1976

Wanted me to take all her cherries!! her garden was huge!!

kjm3579

Kept hiding behind the mask

Noelv1976

Always up on my face

Spnneil06

He wouldn't let me see the real him.

kjm3579

Wanted me to let her see other guys.

Noelv1976

She freaked when she saw my Smiley Clown face from AHS

MrsBooBear

He used my fear of clowns against me.

kjm3579

Found her in bed with some clown

Noelv1976

Found him under the bed while the clown was with my ex! I was double crossed!

kjm3579

I think he was the clown, that's why he keeps his face hidden

iamangrydoug

He fired me from my job.

Noelv1976

She was always angry!

kjm3579

He kept everything hidden

Spnneil06

He thought I was too secretive because I wanted alone time in the bathroom.

aesthetikk

she would poop with the door open and yell what i wanted for breakfast...eww!

Spnneil06

We broke up?? I wasn't informed!

Noelv1976

Kept eating all my cookies!

Unknown

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iamangrydoug

He ate all my protein

Spnneil06

He was a cartoon character and had a paste problem.

kjm3579

Her cooking tasted like she used paste as thickener.

Spnneil06

I was trying to poison him to get out of the prenup, he noticed.

iamangrydoug

I caught her wearing my favorite panties

Noelv1976

I caught her wearing MY favorite panties!