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We broke up because...
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She wouldn't stop bench pressing me.0
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kept pestering me to invite a black dude into our bedroom0
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She stole my dwarf husband, what can I say he's a pint size of sexy!0
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We can't break up. We have to divorce.
I'm 6'2" btw. :-P0 -
He couldn't hand the harem when it was that time of the month! Threatened divorce 12 times a year!0
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She attracted bears0
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He needed more cowbell. I didn't.0
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@ bears!
@wellsjr79 he watched "The Edge" every 2 hours... i just couldn't deal with the repetitiveness
she wouldn't let me act out 'ghost' while doing a pottery workshop0 -
the walking dead was more important to her0
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She thought our zombie love night was stupid!0
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the zombies smelled0
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she sniffed zombies at night to get high
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She accused me outlandish things!0
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she put me on the naughty step 0
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Liked pointing her finger at everyone. What's it like on that high horse?0
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she refused to cover herself in butter and slide across the kitchen floor like a slug0
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Wanted me to do strange things in our apartment and always in front of a camera0
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He kept trying to get with my sister0
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He broke my camera!! No more naked selfies for you mister I don't care how drunk I am!0
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Found her in bed with her sister, the nun0
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She said she had a sister but she was never around.0
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She wanted to sleep on top of me on the left side, I was suffocating!0
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She kept bringing cats home0
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Insisted on always being on top, was not open to other positions0
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He didn't understand he couldn't get me off so i insisted to be on top.0
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