Increasing calories defriended for low intake

vhowru

I was defriended because my calorie intake was too low although I eat more I guess I need to be accurate isn't that an odd thing to do ? Any advice besides be more accurate

madrose0715

What part do you think is odd? Advice on what in particular?

melimomTARDIS

I have de-friended folks for a low intake. I like to read my pals food diaries, and seeing someone eat, on less than 1000 calories per day, makes me sad.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

My advice is to make your diary private if it bothers you for people to comment or make judgments (like deleting you) based on what they see there.

People delete for a variety of reasons. A lot of people don't want people with EDs on their lists, and even if you're eating more but not logging it he/she might have had the impression that you do. I've had a few people with EDs on my list-- it can be pretty heart wrenching to watch. I don't fault people for not being willing to have it on their feed.

Alternately, are you sure that's why you were deleted? Maybe he/she just didn't feel like you were clicking.

sljohnson1207

ILiftHeavyAcrylics wrote: »

My advice is to make your diary private if it bothers you for people to comment or make judgments (like deleting you) based on what they see there.

People delete for a variety of reasons. A lot of people don't want people with EDs on their lists, and even if you're eating more but not logging it he/she might have had the impression that you do. I've had a few people with EDs on my list-- it can be pretty heart wrenching to watch. I don't fault people for not being willing to have it on their feed.

Alternately, are you sure that's why you were deleted? Maybe he/she just didn't feel like you were clicking.

^^ This is exactly why I'd delete someone for low intake. I have had EDs in my past (long ago well), and that is where I want them to stay. Seeing severe calorie restriction (or what appears to be that due to not logging everything) can be a trigger. I don't want to see behaviors in others that may trigger me to restrict. It is a delicate balance that I MUST maintain in order to be what I want to be...healthy, physically and mentally.

Of course, if you know this is why you were de-friended, you could always try to contact the user and tell them you weren't restricting, just not logging all your food. Maybe they misunderstood or made an assumption.

Serah87

I have no problem deleting people eating less than 1200 calories.

vhowru

Great advice I can see how it would be tough to see someone with an ED although I would be careful to not judge people to much. I actually eat about 1600 calories a day and have to watch my weight because of medications I take I appreciate all of the feedback I actually thanked her for sharing how to cut sugar cravings maybe I didn't click with her. At least she gave me a response

vhowru

Serah87 wrote: »

I have no problem deleting people eating less than 1200 calories.

Fair enough but I would give someone the benefit of the doubt we do need to do what's best for us though I guess this was just a wake up call to everyone's reality

NK1112

You are only cheating yourself when you don't log all your food ... because 'guessing' on how many calories you took in just doesn't work. And, like someone already said ... make your food log private ... or set a key for it and only let people look at it that need to.

vhowru

Thank you I agree I just got a scale and will start weighing my food

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

vhowru wrote: »

Great advice I can see how it would be tough to see someone with an ED although I would be careful to not judge people to much. I actually eat about 1600 calories a day and have to watch my weight because of medications I take I appreciate all of the feedback I actually thanked her for sharing how to cut sugar cravings maybe I didn't click with her. At least she gave me a response

I don't think it's about judgment, at least not in the sense that people are looking down on those who suffer from EDs. It's just really difficult to watch and nothing you can say helps.

ndj1979

why does it bother you if someone deletes you??? Its the internet...

vhowru

Thanks all I just wasn't aware of all the factors it makes sense it is the Internet I've just taken it too personally

krysmuree

I delete people who eat too little. I don't add people to collect friends, I add them to click with them and to share similar healthy journeys. Those I can share experiences, tips and stories with. Sometimes you just won't click, and that's okay. I've unfriended a few people who think that a pineapple is a good lunch and logging only 900 calories a day is a good thing. Just personal preference.

vhowru

Thanks Krissy

vhowru

I guess I'm just looking for friends who have common interests but as I get older I'm looking for variety as well

krysmuree

Variety is the spice of life! I have many MFP friends who are very different, but we're all working towards the same goal: healthier versions of ourselves. No problem!

Aviva92

people actually care enough to defriend you over that??? i sometimes look at my friends food diaries out of curiousity, but i'm not going to get all upset and defriend them over it. whatever. it's their life.

i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.

also slowly saw my friend count go down when i was less active on here. i don't defriend anyone. don't see the point. although, i'm not the most active friend and i don't always log anymore since i'm at goal weight. i prefer the forum.

Unknown

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vhowru

This is true people can do whatever they want it was only significant because she has been able to build a strong lean frame and I wanted to learn from her. There are other people though

kelly_e_montana

I know for me as a person who is in recovery for ED, I have a difficult time watching someone who is actively engaging in things that can be triggering for me (like severe calorie restriction). I feel bad for them, but ultimately, I have to surround myself with people that make it easier to sustain my own recovery. To me it is like being in recovery for alcohol or drugs and being around people who are still having substance problems but who make excuses for it like that it's only temporary or recreational or not really harming them. Not exactly the same, but kinda...I don't think you should hide your diary. That would hiding empty bottles of booze. You would still be engaging in the self-harming behavior but simply hiding it. That's probably even worse. Anyway, the person who defriended you is probably just trying to protect himself/herself from something about your behavior that brings about anxiety for him/her because they somehow identify with it.

kelly_e_montana

P.S. If that's you in your yoga photo, you have a strong, lean frame.

vhowru

Thank you Kelly they did post a picture of them 25 lbs lighter and it was sad. I have been known for watching my calories but I don't go below what's recommended. I have been told by my counselor that I have sugar issues but I think it's common. Thanks for your input I wish you a strong and healthy path

Aviva92

huh, just noticed that someone with 1000 friends defriended me. how did i stand out to be defriended? i feel kinda special and awesome now.

vhowru

Great perspective love it !

gothchiq

Wow, some people are judgey.... ugh! I try not to friend people who will be nosey and judgey in the first place! That's not what support is all about! I'm sorry someone behaved like that... heck with em.

vhowru

Thank you I agree ! It's their loss

gothchiq

Anyway, to address the information you want.....I'm a short, stocky Sicilian, not the look you're going for... but, that said, I have been talking to people who deliberately lengthen their muscles and they have recommended ballet type workouts and lots of stretches, plies, and lunges, more so than pumping iron. Pilates, too. Do those sound like good options for you?

vhowru

You betcha thank you I do bikram yoga and I'm trying to explain elongated exercises to my personal trainer I'm trying to do yoga and weights but the weights are putting a kabash on my yoga

azulvioleta6

Serah87 wrote: »

I have no problem deleting people eating less than 1200 calories.

Some people have medical reasons for eating at/below 1200. I certainly do, though I eat very well/carefully and absolutely do not have an eating disorder.

vhowru

I actually eat on the lower end due to medications myself I understand