Increasing calories defriended for low intake

kegglemax

a friend on a website isnt necessarily a friend so dont take it to heart

Daiako

emily_stew wrote: »

newmeadow wrote: »

I don't care what people eat. They can eat as much or as little as they want on any type of eating plan.

But then again, I also don't understand claiming a bunch of anonymous avatars on a computer screen as official friends and then chatting with them in some separate section of the same website with the expectation of privacy and some special comradery.

Everyone is free to discuss and communicate openly on the discussion forums independent of a friend club - or whatever it is - which I think is the best way.

Define "official friends". Is there some kind of oath or pinkie swear involved?

I solemnly swear I am up to no good you're official friend.

Officially.

azulvioleta6

Aviva92 wrote: »

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

Aviva92 wrote: »

i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.

I'm not very sensitive at all, but I would absolutely unfriend someone for a comment like that. Inappropriate on so many levels.

yes, you're too sensitive in that case by my definition of it.

There's a difference between being too sensitive and thinking that something is idiotic.

Unless you have some form of dwarfism, you are not FAT at 108 pounds. Besides, fat is not something you are, it is something you have. Complaining about how big you are when you are tiny makes you sound like a twit. Four tenths of a pound is not even significant--round up or down already! I could go on...

Aviva92

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

Aviva92 wrote: »

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

Aviva92 wrote: »

i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.

I'm not very sensitive at all, but I would absolutely unfriend someone for a comment like that. Inappropriate on so many levels.

yes, you're too sensitive in that case by my definition of it.

There's a difference between being too sensitive and thinking that something is idiotic.

Unless you have some form of dwarfism, you are not FAT at 108 pounds. Besides, fat is not something you are, it is something you have. Complaining about how big you are when you are tiny makes you sound like a twit. Four tenths of a pound is not even significant--round up or down already! I could go on...

my scale rounds to 10ths, thus I do too. doesn't make me a "twit". Maybe my scale is a twit then. sorry, i didn't exactly review my status update for nit picky grammar errors prior to posting it. my bad. i think that correcting grammar on mfp is against forum rules though btw.

if i gain a few pounds, my clothes don't fit. i don't like that.

i'll stick with my original assessment of too sensitive based on this post.

47Jacqueline

There are over a million people on MFP, find another friend.

I have trouble eating enough in maintenance because I'm really active and I talk about it on my newsfeed.

I probably would delete someone who was consistently below 1200 cal/day in weight loss because it's unhealthy and potentially dangerous and I am not a dietician or a therapist with the ability to address it. I have deleted friends because they seem to have drank too much, had too many friends to be able to really be part of a support group, life was totally absorbed in how much/what kinds of food they were eating, never engaged in interactions, were too religious (and verbal about it) - people have all kinds of personal lreasons.

135by60

Aviva92 wrote: »

azulvioleta6 wrote: »

Aviva92 wrote: »

i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.

I'm not very sensitive at all, but I would absolutely unfriend someone for a comment like that. Inappropriate on so many levels.

yes, you're too sensitive in that case by my definition of it.

It's the whole 'humblebrag' thing. No matter how you slice it, 108.4 lbs is not fat. When thin girls do the whole 'ugh! I'm soooo fat!!' shtick, it comes off as really disingenuous, fake and compliment-hunting. It's also grossly insensitive.

I mean, yeah, there's too sensitive. And then there's seriously lacking in sensitivity. I'm firmly in the 'defriend insensitive humblebraggers' camp.

vhowru

Ok that makes sense

NJGamerChick

OP, I just wanted to say, as someone who consistently under eats, that sometimes it's completely unintentional. There are many reasons for it. Some people are stuck on certain ways of eating, in my case, for medical reasons, don't really have appetites, and/or are on medications that remove hunger as a side effect. Not everyone will understand it and people notice it more than you think. That's ok though. They are acting in their best interests.

Sadly, I have no advice for you. I've been trying myself to eat more and failing unless I eat all the wrong foods and destroy the macros the doctors want me to keep. It's hard and it sucks!

Good luck to you on your quest.

pkw58

I have no reason to judge people who are over or under their calories. I am in my goal range, but slowly but surely working on improving my fitness. I have days when I tally my calories and I am 600 calories under and I get that "concerned" message from MFP. I then go eat a protein bar and/or an avocado or some unsalted nuts. Then I have days where I am 300 over before dinner. I drink some plain hot tea for supper and go for a walk. Today I am grossly under on sleep, and I have no idea why. I will work out and stay active all day long to try and hit the pillow at 9 pm tonight and not wake up until 5 am tomorrow. I can tell you if I have a cold or sinus or allergy issues, getting in 1200 calories is an exercise in how much hot creamy soup or smoothies I can drink. I think I am going to start writing notes about my nutrition and exercise like a journal in those little boxes. Then my MFP Friends can see what's up with my calories in or out that day.

Sued0nim

I have just deleted someone for a similar reason..because they popped up in my newsfeed complaining about people on the forum being mean because they 'couldn't' eat enough and then had a number of solicitous "support" comments from their other friends ...meh!

I certainly do not wish to read of someone who needs to lose weight saying they are unable to eat over 1000 calories nor others saying that's ok ...it's not

So you use this place to learn, but if you want people to just stroke your ego with patt phrases and tell you everything is OK I'm not the right person to be on that particular list

Francl27

Serah87 wrote: »

I have no problem deleting people eating less than 1200 calories.

Same. The thing is, I almost never send friend requests. People typically send me some... and I always accept. But I just don't see how I can help or support people who don't agree with the way I see things (which is that you don't have to starve yourself to lose weight). I'm thinking they would rather I defriended them than me telling them every day to eat more when they complain that they just had a 200 calorie binge when they are eating 1000 calories a day or something.

I realize that some people have eating disorders, but again, I have no experience with that at all (well, the eating too little part), so I can't see how I can really help them in the first place. I guess it just baffles my mind sometimes when I get friend requests from people eating 800 or 1000 calories, I wonder if they actually read my posts before sending me a friend request.

Bottom line - I feel more comfortable with friends who share my views about weight loss (which is pretty much 'do whatever works for you, but just don't starve yourself').

angelasfree1

I think that's awful! I would NEVER defriend someone because of their calorie intake being either low or high! We're all here to make friends and help each other along surely??!! And if that means trying to help someone raise their calorie intake then that's what we should be doing! And help them to understand why it's important to not eat too little, the same as it's important to many of us to not eat too much! Don't beat yourself up about being defriended, that happens all the time! I've sent you a friend request, feel free

Lounmoun

Friends here are a weight loss support system. They are people I feel can support/inspire me and people I feel I can support. Our goals need to be somewhat similar. They are not buddies I meet up with to go see a movie or people I have a long history with. I am not here to collect 100's of random people on my friend list and just hit a like button every now and then.
If someone is consistantly eating well below 1200 calories, posting about binging often, not logging in for months, drinking shakes instead of eating meals, or posting about doing unhealthy drastic things then they do not match my goals or are doing things I can not support. I would defriend them without feeling bad.

Sued0nim

angelasfree1 wrote: »

I think that's awful! I would NEVER defriend someone because of their calorie intake being either low or high! We're all here to make friends and help each other along surely??!! And if that means trying to help someone raise their calorie intake then that's what we should be doing! And help them to understand why it's important to not eat too little, the same as it's important to many of us to not eat too much! Don't beat yourself up about being defriended, that happens all the time! I've sent you a friend request, feel free

Nope, sorry..not interested in internet fairy friends tbh

If someone asks to friend me, I say yes (it was my New Year Resolution), I sometimes comment when something strikes me as interesting or amusing but I'm no cheerleader ..it's even in my profile

this journey is mine and mine alone, much as yours is yours, I can't help you do it, all I can do is just be honest and tell you what I think when you post a statement or ask a question. I'm happy to share a joke and advice along the way if the mood strikes me.

If you believe in detox, cleanses, VLCD, magic pills or naturopaths I'm not a person you'd want to have on your status updates ...

kristen6350

I've deleted people who eat under 1200. But after I've given them advice on the fact that it isn't healthy. Then given them a week to get their act together. If they don't feel that my advice is worth listening to, they can go find friends elsewhere that think the same. I'm not supporting that frame of mind.

myfitnesspale3

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

I've deleted people before for eating too little because I can't stand to watch someone continuously undereat and not get enough nutrition.

Yup. I don't get much friend requests but a couple were like that. I made a few comments about extremes, other "friends" were "liking" the same claimed intakes and exercise levels. I can't watch such things either.

They might have been faking, which I also don't need to see. Best of luck anyway.

opalsqueak007

I have deleted people who aren't eating enough to keep body and soul together. I can't help people with that attitude and they have chosen their path. The ones that frighten me most are the young men, one of whom on my list was eating 700 calories a day of pure junk. There are only so many times you can tell them to eat some food.