Increasing calories defriended for low intake
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47Jacqueline wrote: »There are over a million people on MFP, find another friend.
I have trouble eating enough in maintenance because I'm really active and I talk about it on my newsfeed.
I probably would delete someone who was consistently below 1200 cal/day in weight loss because it's unhealthy and potentially dangerous and I am not a dietician or a therapist with the ability to address it. I have deleted friends because they seem to have drank too much, had too many friends to be able to really be part of a support group, life was totally absorbed in how much/what kinds of food they were eating, never engaged in interactions, were too religious (and verbal about it) - people have all kinds of personal lreasons.
not everyone is looking for their mfp friends to be "therapists". it kind of isn't your business at all if they are eating less than 1200 calories. not sure why you care.0 -
kristen6350 wrote: »I've deleted people who eat under 1200. But after I've given them advice on the fact that it isn't healthy. Then given them a week to get their act together. If they don't feel that my advice is worth listening to, they can go find friends elsewhere that think the same. I'm not supporting that frame of mind.
oh, if someone gave me unsolicited advice, i'd probably tell them off and they would delete me for that. it's really not your business.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »I will delete someone that consistently doesn't eat enough. I just don't have the energy for it.
I would also delete someone who whined about being fat at 108 pounds. Not because I'm too sensitive, but because that's obnoxious.
i said "getting fat". i know it's not fat.
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people actually care enough to defriend you over that??? i sometimes look at my friends food diaries out of curiousity, but i'm not going to get all upset and defriend them over it. whatever. it's their life.
i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.
also slowly saw my friend count go down when i was less active on here. i don't defriend anyone. don't see the point. although, i'm not the most active friend and i don't always log anymore since i'm at goal weight. i prefer the forum.
That has nothing to do with people being overly sensitive. It has everything to do with you saying you are getting fat when you are a whopping 108.4 lbs. That's just obnoxious when there are people here who actually struggle with their weight. Seeing someone call themselves fat when they weigh 108 lbs is more annoying than anything.0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »people actually care enough to defriend you over that??? i sometimes look at my friends food diaries out of curiousity, but i'm not going to get all upset and defriend them over it. whatever. it's their life.
i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.
also slowly saw my friend count go down when i was less active on here. i don't defriend anyone. don't see the point. although, i'm not the most active friend and i don't always log anymore since i'm at goal weight. i prefer the forum.
That has nothing to do with people being overly sensitive. It has everything to do with you saying you are getting fat when you are a whopping 108.4 lbs. That's just obnoxious when there are people here who actually struggle with their weight. Seeing someone call themselves fat when they weigh 108 lbs is more annoying than anything.
then they are easily annoyed.0 -
there was a day i ate 1200 calories and I'm 269 pound male. No one deleted me and i can't imagine why anyone would delete you... i wouldn't. *kitten* happens some people like my self are depressed and others take medication.0
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It's pretty ironic that you say people get annoyed easily when you get annoyed by everything people say in the forums constantly.FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »people actually care enough to defriend you over that??? i sometimes look at my friends food diaries out of curiousity, but i'm not going to get all upset and defriend them over it. whatever. it's their life.
i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.
also slowly saw my friend count go down when i was less active on here. i don't defriend anyone. don't see the point. although, i'm not the most active friend and i don't always log anymore since i'm at goal weight. i prefer the forum.
That has nothing to do with people being overly sensitive. It has everything to do with you saying you are getting fat when you are a whopping 108.4 lbs. That's just obnoxious when there are people here who actually struggle with their weight. Seeing someone call themselves fat when they weigh 108 lbs is more annoying than anything.
then they are easily annoyed.
no, i get annoyed by things that are annoying.0 -
It's pretty ironic that you say people get annoyed easily when you get annoyed by everything people say in the forums constantly.FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »people actually care enough to defriend you over that??? i sometimes look at my friends food diaries out of curiousity, but i'm not going to get all upset and defriend them over it. whatever. it's their life.
i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.
also slowly saw my friend count go down when i was less active on here. i don't defriend anyone. don't see the point. although, i'm not the most active friend and i don't always log anymore since i'm at goal weight. i prefer the forum.
That has nothing to do with people being overly sensitive. It has everything to do with you saying you are getting fat when you are a whopping 108.4 lbs. That's just obnoxious when there are people here who actually struggle with their weight. Seeing someone call themselves fat when they weigh 108 lbs is more annoying than anything.
then they are easily annoyed.
no, i get annoyed by things that are annoying.
Yeah, people who call themselves fat when they weigh 108 lbs IS annoying.
Let me guide you here… http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd0 -
sometimes I just randomly delete people...don't take it personally, it's just the internet.0
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FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »
It's pretty ironic that you say people get annoyed easily when you get annoyed by everything people say in the forums constantly.FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »people actually care enough to defriend you over that??? i sometimes look at my friends food diaries out of curiousity, but i'm not going to get all upset and defriend them over it. whatever. it's their life.
i made a comment on my wall recently of "have to start logging again. I'm getting fat. 108.4 this morning! omg!" and immediately saw my friend count go down by one. people are too sensitive. i'm okay not having overly sensitive people on my friends list.
also slowly saw my friend count go down when i was less active on here. i don't defriend anyone. don't see the point. although, i'm not the most active friend and i don't always log anymore since i'm at goal weight. i prefer the forum.
That has nothing to do with people being overly sensitive. It has everything to do with you saying you are getting fat when you are a whopping 108.4 lbs. That's just obnoxious when there are people here who actually struggle with their weight. Seeing someone call themselves fat when they weigh 108 lbs is more annoying than anything.
then they are easily annoyed.
no, i get annoyed by things that are annoying.
Yeah, people who call themselves fat when they weigh 108 lbs IS annoying.
Let me guide you here… http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd
no thanks.0 -
I think that people should eat at a level that makes them feel healthy, and at a level that actually keeps them in good health. I wouldn't judge anyone by their daily calories. But I can understand if someone once had an eating issue, how they wouldn't want to get drawn back into that lifestyle, despite their best efforts. They are right, I think, to avoid anything/anyone that might be detrimental to them, no matter how small the chances.0
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I go out of my way to point out they need to eat more, post helpful links and if they get angry or refuse to take advice and continue to undereat, I unfriend them.
Couldn't care less what people think of me for it. There's a clear disclaimer on my profile that states what I will and won't support.0 -
furioushummingbird wrote: »I go out of my way to point out they need to eat more, post helpful links and if they get angry or refuse to take advice and continue to undereat, I unfriend them.
Couldn't care less what people think of me for it. There's a clear disclaimer on my profile that states what I will and won't support.
oh yeah, i wouldn't friend someone with your disclaimer in the first place.0 -
furioushummingbird wrote: »I go out of my way to point out they need to eat more, post helpful links and if they get angry or refuse to take advice and continue to undereat, I unfriend them.
Couldn't care less what people think of me for it. There's a clear disclaimer on my profile that states what I will and won't support.
oh yeah, i wouldn't friend someone with your disclaimer in the first place.
Good for you.0 -
For myself, I yes have defriended people for being under 1200 calories, but i go back through their diaries for at least a week or two to see if they are consistently low I cant handle it because it triggers me. Some days I am under really bad, only because of my endometriosis and I'm throwing everything that i try to eat up and so I always let people know if they are reading my diary why it looks so sparse. Maybe if you're worried about people who defriend you because of that reason, let them know. Post a status before or after you put your diary up about what was going on that day or write in the little note thing on the day. Again it;s your life, your journey. Do what you will to make you happy and others defriend to make themselves happy
good luck 0 -
PrincessRowwy wrote: »For myself, I yes have defriended people for being under 1200 calories, but i go back through their diaries for at least a week or two to see if they are consistently low I cant handle it because it triggers me. Some days I am under really bad, only because of my endometriosis and I'm throwing everything that i try to eat up and so I always let people know if they are reading my diary why it looks so sparse. Maybe if you're worried about people who defriend you because of that reason, let them know. Post a status before or after you put your diary up about what was going on that day or write in the little note thing on the day. Again it;s your life, your journey. Do what you will to make you happy and others defriend to make themselves happy good luck
wow, i could not imagine having to explain myself every time i closed my entries for the day just to appease my friends list if i go under some threshold. it really isn't their business.0 -
furioushummingbird wrote: »I go out of my way to point out they need to eat more, post helpful links and if they get angry or refuse to take advice and continue to undereat, I unfriend them.
Couldn't care less what people think of me for it. There's a clear disclaimer on my profile that states what I will and won't support.
oh yeah, i wouldn't friend someone with your disclaimer in the first place.
I'm wondering why you feel it's okay to point out why you wouldn't be friends with someone, but when someone does so with you - you get defensive and sarcastic.
It's odd.
I also think perusing the link FFF posted is a good idea. I don't know you well at all - but from an outsiders view, you seem to be very caught up with being "skinny". It's a concern, IMO.0 -
Wow. I guess I'm naïve. It never occurred to me to add or delete friends based on their calorie intake or if they had an ED. I just assumed we added friends to support each other. Looking at a persons food diary is optional even if its made open to friends. I am about to start a special Pre Surgical, High Protein Medically supervised diet of 800 calories for 2 weeks. This has nothing to do with an ED. I would like to think my MFP friends would be supportive no matter what.0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »furioushummingbird wrote: »I go out of my way to point out they need to eat more, post helpful links and if they get angry or refuse to take advice and continue to undereat, I unfriend them.
Couldn't care less what people think of me for it. There's a clear disclaimer on my profile that states what I will and won't support.
oh yeah, i wouldn't friend someone with your disclaimer in the first place.
I'm wondering why you feel it's okay to point out why you wouldn't be friends with someone, but when someone does so with you - you get defensive and sarcastic.
It's odd.
I also think perusing the link FFF posted is a good idea. I don't know you well at all - but from an outsiders view, you seem to be very caught up with being "skinny". It's a concern, IMO.
well, i don't want to be friend with someone who is going to criticize me. it's a different reason.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »furioushummingbird wrote: »I go out of my way to point out they need to eat more, post helpful links and if they get angry or refuse to take advice and continue to undereat, I unfriend them.
Couldn't care less what people think of me for it. There's a clear disclaimer on my profile that states what I will and won't support.
oh yeah, i wouldn't friend someone with your disclaimer in the first place.
I'm wondering why you feel it's okay to point out why you wouldn't be friends with someone, but when someone does so with you - you get defensive and sarcastic.
It's odd.
I also think perusing the link FFF posted is a good idea. I don't know you well at all - but from an outsiders view, you seem to be very caught up with being "skinny". It's a concern, IMO.
Isn't her high level of irony simply amusing. She says others are to sensitive because they were bothered by a comment she made on her page because they found it annoying and yet at the same time she said that she gets annoyed when people say annoying things. But I suppose that doesn't make her sensitive, amirite?
Then in another thread she says she wants everyone to get along and in this thread she said if someone comments on her page with something she doesn't like she will tell them off.
She seems like a real pleasure to be around irl.
well, if someone confronts me with the intention of defriending me that isn't them trying to get along. that is them trying to change me and no thanks.0 -
okay, read the BDD link. that doesn't really describe me.0
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TheVirgoddess wrote: »furioushummingbird wrote: »I go out of my way to point out they need to eat more, post helpful links and if they get angry or refuse to take advice and continue to undereat, I unfriend them.
Couldn't care less what people think of me for it. There's a clear disclaimer on my profile that states what I will and won't support.
oh yeah, i wouldn't friend someone with your disclaimer in the first place.
I'm wondering why you feel it's okay to point out why you wouldn't be friends with someone, but when someone does so with you - you get defensive and sarcastic.
It's odd.
I also think perusing the link FFF posted is a good idea. I don't know you well at all - but from an outsiders view, you seem to be very caught up with being "skinny". It's a concern, IMO.
Isn't her high level of irony simply amusing. She says others are to sensitive because they were bothered by a comment she made on her page because they found it annoying and yet at the same time she said that she gets annoyed when people say annoying things. But I suppose that doesn't make her sensitive, amirite?
Then in another thread she says she wants everyone to get along and in this thread she said if someone comments on her page with something she doesn't like she will tell them off.
She seems like a real pleasure to be around irl.
well, if someone confronts me with the intention of defriending me that isn't them trying to get along. that is them trying to change me and no thanks.
Someone making a comment you don't agree with isn't defriending you, it's making a comment. You can chose to ignore it, but you chose to tell them off instead. Seems reasonable.
if they make a comment directly towards me that's insulting, i will tell them off. yes, it's reasonable. they are better off defriending me instead.-1 -
Why is it odd? People are looking for different kinds of support on here. You may have had someone who was trying to avoid eating disorder triggers, for example. If you had low numbers on your diary, they might have found it difficult and defriended you to keep themselves safe. Don't take it personally, suck it up and do what works for you, just like other people are.0
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I had a 3000 cal day and I spent the next week trying to eat low calories to make up for it. If someone didn't see my high calorie day they might think I always try to eat below and delete me. You don't always know why people do what they do. Try asking or commenting about their eating in a nice way. Just saying......0
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Velum_cado wrote: »Why is it odd? People are looking for different kinds of support on here. You may have had someone who was trying to avoid eating disorder triggers, for example. If you had low numbers on your diary, they might have found it difficult and defriended you to keep themselves safe. Don't take it personally, suck it up and do what works for you, just like other people are.
yeah, this makes sense. if it causes triggers in someone and they are that easily set off, they should look after themselves.0 -
I had a 3000 cal day and I spent the next week trying to eat low calories to make up for it. If someone didn't see my high calorie day they might think I always try to eat below and delete me. You don't always know why people do what they do. Try asking or commenting about their eating in a nice way. Just saying......
For me, I delete based on trends, not a single day, or even a single week. It's a combination of consistent low intake, constant negativity, excuses and general lack of willingness to be a partner in their health. As much as I want to save everyone, I can't. So I have to move on for my own mental health.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »I had a 3000 cal day and I spent the next week trying to eat low calories to make up for it. If someone didn't see my high calorie day they might think I always try to eat below and delete me. You don't always know why people do what they do. Try asking or commenting about their eating in a nice way. Just saying......
For me, I delete based on trends, not a single day, or even a single week. It's a combination of consistent low intake, constant negativity, excuses and general lack of willingness to be a partner in their health. As much as I want to save everyone, I can't. So I have to move on for my own mental health.
people take their friends list this seriously? i don't view it as much different than facebook friends.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »I had a 3000 cal day and I spent the next week trying to eat low calories to make up for it. If someone didn't see my high calorie day they might think I always try to eat below and delete me. You don't always know why people do what they do. Try asking or commenting about their eating in a nice way. Just saying......
For me, I delete based on trends, not a single day, or even a single week. It's a combination of consistent low intake, constant negativity, excuses and general lack of willingness to be a partner in their health. As much as I want to save everyone, I can't. So I have to move on for my own mental health.
people take their friends list this seriously? i don't view it as much different than facebook friends.
If not wanting negativity on my feed (and by extension, my life) is "taking it seriously" then obviously I do.
It's not some agonizing choice I feel forced to make. It's an "okay, that's enough" *remove friend* thing.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »I had a 3000 cal day and I spent the next week trying to eat low calories to make up for it. If someone didn't see my high calorie day they might think I always try to eat below and delete me. You don't always know why people do what they do. Try asking or commenting about their eating in a nice way. Just saying......
For me, I delete based on trends, not a single day, or even a single week. It's a combination of consistent low intake, constant negativity, excuses and general lack of willingness to be a partner in their health. As much as I want to save everyone, I can't. So I have to move on for my own mental health.
people take their friends list this seriously? i don't view it as much different than facebook friends.
If not wanting negativity on my feed (and by extension, my life) is "taking it seriously" then obviously I do.
It's not some agonizing choice I feel forced to make. It's an "okay, that's enough" *remove friend* thing.
people being negative about their own life does not hurt me in any way. if it's their way to vent, go for it.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »I had a 3000 cal day and I spent the next week trying to eat low calories to make up for it. If someone didn't see my high calorie day they might think I always try to eat below and delete me. You don't always know why people do what they do. Try asking or commenting about their eating in a nice way. Just saying......
For me, I delete based on trends, not a single day, or even a single week. It's a combination of consistent low intake, constant negativity, excuses and general lack of willingness to be a partner in their health. As much as I want to save everyone, I can't. So I have to move on for my own mental health.
people take their friends list this seriously? i don't view it as much different than facebook friends.
If not wanting negativity on my feed (and by extension, my life) is "taking it seriously" then obviously I do.
It's not some agonizing choice I feel forced to make. It's an "okay, that's enough" *remove friend* thing.
people being negative about their own life does not hurt me in any way. if it's their way to vent, go for it.
Congrats?
Watching people drown in their own bad choices is bad for my mental health - as I stated above.
So, conclusion: you and I are different. No big surprise there.0
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