husband

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  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    Like a friend of mine once said, you are not a supply train in World War Two. No one is trying to sabotage you. You are in complete control of your exercise and diet.
  • ladydianna62
    ladydianna62 Posts: 35 Member
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    My mind is set I what ever I cook he eats except veggies I buy his treats I don't bother them but don't ask me if I want it if you know I'm trying hard I know eventually he will give up because he know my mind is made up I'm gonna do this I hope eventually he get on board with me it's like I told him when a doctor says do this or your gonna be in big trouble I tend to believe them I want to be healthy I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Maybe I am reading wrong signals I hope I am
  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
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    BFDeal wrote: »
    My wife has cut my brake line a few times and I think she's been slowly poisoning me but she's pretty good about not bringing home pizza or ice cream. So I guess I'm good.

    How is she poisoning you? I had a relative whose wife tried to slowly poison him by putting WD-40 in his food. It didn't kill him before he discovered it, but he did have permanent brain damage and spent the rest of his life in a nursing home. Personally, I would prefer the wife bringing home pizza and ice cream over that. You really should be careful about that.

    And as far as the brake lines, did you actually crash? I have only had that happen once to me... years ago. Fortunately, I thought quickly and used a combination of my transmission and parking brake to stop safely.

    Or... maybe you are being sarcastic?
  • Archon2
    Archon2 Posts: 462 Member
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    One thing I think about sometimes is that food is as much a social thing as it is a biological fuel. People plan their get-togethers and daily schedule around meals. Eating together is a bonding thing for couples, families, and friends -- a shared and hopefully pleasurable experience.

    When someone changes established rituals like the typical foods and treats enjoyed and consumed together in the past, it can cause friction. In other words, it is not always simply someone sabotaging your goals just because they "want you to stay overweight." They may resent the change and the perceived lack of mutual enjoyment.

    OK, maybe I'm going full-professor mode on this...just thinking out loud :)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    ladydianna62 wrote: »
    My mind is set I what ever I cook he eats except veggies I buy his treats I don't bother them but don't ask me if I want it if you know I'm trying hard I know eventually he will give up because he know my mind is made up I'm gonna do this I hope eventually he get on board with me it's like I told him when a doctor says do this or your gonna be in big trouble I tend to believe them I want to be healthy I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Maybe I am reading wrong signals I hope I am

    Definitely talk to him directly about this. Don't try to "read signals". That may be causing you undue stress. Plus, if you've only been married for 4 years he may be afraid of you "changing" on him. Reassure him that you are changing your health and subsequently your physical appearance, but YOU are not changing as a person.
  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
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    AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »
    BFDeal wrote: »
    My wife has cut my brake line a few times and I think she's been slowly poisoning me but she's pretty good about not bringing home pizza or ice cream. So I guess I'm good.

    I kind of know what you mean. Mine is out of town now, but before he left, he locked me in the bedroom with 36 bags of Doritos, a large pepperoni pizza, a peanut butter cake with chocolate frosting, three tubs of ice cream in a cooler (with a note telling me to eat it before it melts), and a head of kale. He gets back on Sunday.

    It sounds like he neglected to leave you anything to drink... I suggest letting one of the buckets of ice cream melt anyway and drink it.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    ladydianna62 wrote: »
    No it's not in my mind,yesterday we went out to eat it was a catfish buffet ok I ate mine grilled ,salad and mixed veggies then eat this unhappily it's really good and one ain't gonna hurt me also they got coconut pie over its your favorite and when I walk it's it took you a long time today I brought my stationary bike inside ,no matter where I put it it's in his way

    How long have you been trying to lose weight? This doesn't sound like lack of support; it sounds like the lifestyle he's used to having with you.
  • NewMeSM75
    NewMeSM75 Posts: 971 Member
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    @ladydianna62 Give it time. He will stop trying to get you to eat those things when he knows it's a waste of time. Good luck.. Wish you all the best. =)
  • wanttolose40lbs
    wanttolose40lbs Posts: 239 Member
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    My husband was never supportive at first, whenever I went to exericise he would say I was obsessed. Then it was we can never do anything because I always exercise after work, so I started working out in the morning. After about a year he decided to join me, he does his exercise at home and I do mine at the gym, and we stopped buying all the junk food. It is much easier when you're both working towards the same goal.
  • mykaylis
    mykaylis Posts: 320 Member
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    my husband sabotages on occasion. he kept getting oreos, putting them right under my nose and asking if i wanted some. same with a few other irresistible foods. after more than a year, he's finally getting it. he's stopped getting a few of my trigger foods and if he gets any others, he hides it in a cupboard that i don't usually look in so i don't know it's there in the first place. he'll choose treats i don't like, or he'll eat stuff when i'm not around.

    hope your husband comes around.
  • JustinAnimal
    JustinAnimal Posts: 1,335 Member
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    Just for the other side of things: my pregnant wife is shameless about eating ice cream and cookies and chips around me after I've consumed my calories for the day and can't eat anything else. I fire back by taking shots and drinking beer around her whenever I'm doing that.
  • NurseBBeav
    NurseBBeav Posts: 3 Member
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    Mine bought me ice cream last night...and when we go out he does make fun of me when I ask for the calorie count but I know when I reach my goal he will still have his beer gut!! :smile:
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,573 Member
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    What was your relationship like before you started your new lifestyle? Was his sense of humor sarcastic? Maybe he's still being himself and you are extra sensitive to this stuff because you don't find it funny?

    My husband is thankfully pretty neutral. He's seen me go through so many phases, juicing, green smoothies, 10,000 steps, Walk away the Pounds, Weight Watchers (2 or 3 times), and now most recently spending almost $600 on a bike and $300 on a kayak and then joining the gym and doing this - he usually says nothing. One time - one time - way back when I was on WW the first time and I had saved points to eat a bag of skittles (small bag) he said something like "SKITTLES? You aren't going to lose weight that way!" and I got mad. LOL. He has not said one negative thing since then. Not even to joke. And he does bring home his own snacks and junk occasionally - he will once in a while offer me some but usually doesn't (because I think he knows that if I want some, I'll just stick my hand in his bag and take it, lol)

    Anyway - maybe you're extra sensitive because this is important to you - and he is just still being himself? Is that a possibility?
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    I think he is hostile about your lifestyle changes, in a bunch of ways. When I talk about you have a conversation about it, I mean asking him right out why he doesn't want you to get healthier? Is he threatened a healthier you might leave him? Some partners prefer a depressed/compliant partner.

    A sad statistic, but many relationships do not survive a significant weight loss/health change. You grow in to a different person and sometimes the partner can't/won't keep up.
  • dottus123
    dottus123 Posts: 4 Member
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    My husband doesn't support me either. It's hard to explain his behavior, but it's just the way he is. Its little things that he will say like, "Do you have to look everything up on the phone?" He doesn't understand counting calories because he just won't do it. He is overweight also and has diabetes. I tried about a year ago to get his doctor to refer him to a nutrition program. He got mad and basically said he was 70 years old and had lived longer than he ever expected to and longer than any other man in his family so he wasn't going to change his way of eating. I just told him that was a sad outlook. Now I try talking to my daughter and I just found this forum.
  • ladydianna62
    ladydianna62 Posts: 35 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    I think he is hostile about your lifestyle changes, in a bunch of ways. When I talk about you have a conversation about it, I mean asking him right out why he doesn't want you to get healthier? Is he threatened a healthier you might leave him? Some partners prefer a depressed/compliant partner.

    A sad statistic, but many relationships do not survive a significant weight loss/health change. You grow in to a different person and sometimes the partner can't/won't keep up.

  • ladydianna62
    ladydianna62 Posts: 35 Member
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    He days he wants me to be happy but know I don't go put much just stay home I think he thinks I'll want to get run around I'm to old for such stuff I just want to be healthy and not get out breath every time I tie my shoes
  • ladydianna62
    ladydianna62 Posts: 35 Member
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    NurseBBeav wrote: »
    Mine bought me ice cream last night...and when we go out he does make fun of me when I ask for the calorie count but I know when I reach my goal he will still have his beer gut!! :smile:

  • ladydianna62
    ladydianna62 Posts: 35 Member
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    That is to mean lol but your right mine loves Sonic. today he brought me home a BLT I got so mad when I wouldn't eat it well I just give it to Grant(My grandson)I won't get you anything else so petty I thought
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
    edited January 2015
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    [edit-deleted, irrelevant]

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