Bikini first time in public... Should I?

fitbot6313

I think you should go for it. I had never worn a bathing suit ever in public and I decided one year to just do it. I realized that nobody really gave a crap that I had a little cellulite on my legs. I was expected people to laugh and point but none of that happened. It was the best experience of my life. I felt relieved. I think you should have that feeling too. I mean you posted your pics here why not in real life? You look great!

silvergurl518

no matter what anyone says, you should do what you want IF you feel comfortable. confidence is what matters. i'm still working on mine

sunshinestater

Most definitely wear one, although I agree with the others who say to find one that doesn't squish the girls. Who cares what anyone else thinks? It's all about you and what you're comfortable in. No matter how good you look, someone will be hating on you, whether it's being judgmental or simply being jealous. I live in FL and go to water parks a lot, so I've seen every shape and size of person in every kind of swimsuit imaginable. The see-through white bikinis freak me out a bit, but hey, if that's your thing, it doesn't matter what I think. It's all about being confidence in who you are.

Fozzi43

Do what I do..go topless

JewelE77

I can't see the pictures because my work computer is blocking them... but was in your situation a couple weeks ago on my honeymoon (5' tall and 145 lbs, but dangit, I'm wearing a bikini on my honeymoon even if it kills me!)...

So here's my advice: go for it, nobody cares as much as you do, and PEOPLE WATCH while you're there. This is how I reassured myself: keep an eye out for people in bikinis who are bigger than you, but are wearing them anyway. There are lots of these people around. I promise.

It shouldn't be a judgemental thing... not, "UGH that person should NOT be in a bikini!" but more of an objective thing to help you frame and analyze the social norms that tell us who gets to wear which bathing suits... think about this for a few minutes, and it will start to feel really absurd and its power over you will decrease.

Also, when you see someone larger than you rocking a bikini, ask yourself: "As an onlooker, am I feeling any of the things I'm afraid others feel when they look at me in a bikini? Or am I just sort of ambivalent? Am I concerned and embarassed FOR this person because I'm afraid others are judging her even though I'm not? Does she look like she cares? Why should I be embarassed for her if she's not embarassed herself? What is there even to be embarassed about?"

Etc etc

not judgemental but make sure you people watch to find other women who are larger than you are in bikinis?

hmm....

Did I say "looks worse"? No. I said "larger". I was very careful to use neutral language. "Larger than you but in a bikini" is what will help OP deal with the pressure she's feeling, which comes from a social norm that's frankly ridiculous. I've seen women twice my size in bikinis that honestly probably looked better in them than I looked in mine, but it was helpful for my self-image to take that critique and apply it to the things I know about myself, to help me get past the blinders we so often have for ourselves. I can't see in a mirror what others see when they look at me, but when *I* am the *other* looking at someone else, I can get a better picture of how much others probably care about my pudge (which is somewhere near zero, unless they're also super self-consious and doing the same thing).

I'm not advocating the "at least I look better than HER" mindset. To claw your way over others in an attractiveness race is counterproductive and just reinforces the negative stigma I'm trying to erase from my own mind, even if I can't erase it from everyone else's.

What I'm advocating is stopping to mindfully consider what's going on around you. Really take a moment and analyze how much you care about what everyone else is wearing (you probably don't care at all), then you can safely assume that everyone else cares what YOU'RE wearing to approximately the same degree.

ETA: It's a mental exercise to PROVE to yourself that nobody cares as much as you think they do... because it's easy to say that, but it can be hard to really take it to heart without something in your mind saying, "They just told me that to make me feel better."

I didn't even bother to read all this.
No matter how "tactfully" you choose to phrase it, the sentiment is the same.
Use whatever euphemisms you like, but essentially you are echoing the main reason women are nasty to other women.

no one's self confidence should ever be based on how other people look. Or how you look with respects to them.
and frankly, if you were confident in yourself, or even confident in your own self-worth that you did not care what others thought, this comparison BS wouldn't even occur to you (and I use "you" to refer to most human beings, not YOU specifically).

You should have read it all because that's exactly what the OP was trying to say. If you had bother to read the whole thing instead of jumping to judgement you would have seen that.

ETA that I agree with others before me, you look amazing and should absolutely rock a bikini, just maybe one that fits better on top. Hope you have a blast! :flowerforyou:

she IS advocating it, even as she says she isn't.
so are you.

Wow. I'm so glad that YOU, a complete stranger on the internet, knows exactly what I am doing. Whew! Thank goodness for your ability to know my motives, I never would have been able to figure out how I really thought and my behavior without you pointing them out to be with no basis whatsoever. Thank you so much.

Lovdiamnd

I've lost some weight and with that I'm getting a little more confidence. We are headed to the beach in a couple of weeks and I'm considering wearing this suit to the beach. What are your thoughts...should I or should I wait until I've lost more weight?

You just did! It's all about your comfort.

teamstanish

It's about how YOU feel, if it makes you feel good DO IT!

TigressPat

I can't see the pictures because my work computer is blocking them... but was in your situation a couple weeks ago on my honeymoon (5' tall and 145 lbs, but dangit, I'm wearing a bikini on my honeymoon even if it kills me!)...

So here's my advice: go for it, nobody cares as much as you do, and PEOPLE WATCH while you're there. This is how I reassured myself: keep an eye out for people in bikinis who are bigger than you, but are wearing them anyway. There are lots of these people around. I promise.

It shouldn't be a judgemental thing... not, "UGH that person should NOT be in a bikini!" but more of an objective thing to help you frame and analyze the social norms that tell us who gets to wear which bathing suits... think about this for a few minutes, and it will start to feel really absurd and its power over you will decrease.

Also, when you see someone larger than you rocking a bikini, ask yourself: "As an onlooker, am I feeling any of the things I'm afraid others feel when they look at me in a bikini? Or am I just sort of ambivalent? Am I concerned and embarassed FOR this person because I'm afraid others are judging her even though I'm not? Does she look like she cares? Why should I be embarassed for her if she's not embarassed herself? What is there even to be embarassed about?"

Etc etc

not judgemental but make sure you people watch to find other women who are larger than you are in bikinis?

hmm....

Did I say "looks worse"? No. I said "larger". I was very careful to use neutral language. "Larger than you but in a bikini" is what will help OP deal with the pressure she's feeling, which comes from a social norm that's frankly ridiculous. I've seen women twice my size in bikinis that honestly probably looked better in them than I looked in mine, but it was helpful for my self-image to take that critique and apply it to the things I know about myself, to help me get past the blinders we so often have for ourselves. I can't see in a mirror what others see when they look at me, but when *I* am the *other* looking at someone else, I can get a better picture of how much others probably care about my pudge (which is somewhere near zero, unless they're also super self-consious and doing the same thing).

I'm not advocating the "at least I look better than HER" mindset. To claw your way over others in an attractiveness race is counterproductive and just reinforces the negative stigma I'm trying to erase from my own mind, even if I can't erase it from everyone else's.

What I'm advocating is stopping to mindfully consider what's going on around you. Really take a moment and analyze how much you care about what everyone else is wearing (you probably don't care at all), then you can safely assume that everyone else cares what YOU'RE wearing to approximately the same degree.

ETA: It's a mental exercise to PROVE to yourself that nobody cares as much as you think they do... because it's easy to say that, but it can be hard to really take it to heart without something in your mind saying, "They just told me that to make me feel better."

I didn't even bother to read all this.
No matter how "tactfully" you choose to phrase it, the sentiment is the same.
Use whatever euphemisms you like, but essentially you are echoing the main reason women are nasty to other women.

no one's self confidence should ever be based on how other people look. Or how you look with respects to them.
and frankly, if you were confident in yourself, or even confident in your own self-worth that you did not care what others thought, this comparison BS wouldn't even occur to you (and I use "you" to refer to most human beings, not YOU specifically).

You should have read it all because that's exactly what the OP was trying to say. If you had bother to read the whole thing instead of jumping to judgement you would have seen that.

ETA that I agree with others before me, you look amazing and should absolutely rock a bikini, just maybe one that fits better on top. Hope you have a blast! :flowerforyou:

she IS advocating it, even as she says she isn't.
so are you.

Wow. I'm so glad that YOU, a complete stranger on the internet, knows exactly what I am doing. Whew! Thank goodness for your ability to know my motives, I never would have been able to figure out how I really thought and my behavior without you pointing them out to be with no basis whatsoever. Thank you so much.

you're welcome.

Lovdiamnd

I am big girl with huge boobs. When I was on vacation last summer there were girls bigger than I am in bikinis. I remember thinking "WOW! Good for her!!" because she was obviously for confident and comfortable in her own skin than I am. I wore my bikini the next day with my head a little higher. It was good for me.

lambchristie

My honest opinion? Well, I think if it were me, I'd wait to lose more. What I do think would look nice on you is a cute tankini. There are a lot of them out there, and I would recommend one to show off your nice bosom. Don't hate on me folks, she asked for opinions and this is mine. Have fun at the beach in whatever you decide to wear!

Agree

JewelE77

I can't see the pictures because my work computer is blocking them... but was in your situation a couple weeks ago on my honeymoon (5' tall and 145 lbs, but dangit, I'm wearing a bikini on my honeymoon even if it kills me!)...

So here's my advice: go for it, nobody cares as much as you do, and PEOPLE WATCH while you're there. This is how I reassured myself: keep an eye out for people in bikinis who are bigger than you, but are wearing them anyway. There are lots of these people around. I promise.

It shouldn't be a judgemental thing... not, "UGH that person should NOT be in a bikini!" but more of an objective thing to help you frame and analyze the social norms that tell us who gets to wear which bathing suits... think about this for a few minutes, and it will start to feel really absurd and its power over you will decrease.

Also, when you see someone larger than you rocking a bikini, ask yourself: "As an onlooker, am I feeling any of the things I'm afraid others feel when they look at me in a bikini? Or am I just sort of ambivalent? Am I concerned and embarassed FOR this person because I'm afraid others are judging her even though I'm not? Does she look like she cares? Why should I be embarassed for her if she's not embarassed herself? What is there even to be embarassed about?"

Etc etc

not judgemental but make sure you people watch to find other women who are larger than you are in bikinis?

hmm....

Did I say "looks worse"? No. I said "larger". I was very careful to use neutral language. "Larger than you but in a bikini" is what will help OP deal with the pressure she's feeling, which comes from a social norm that's frankly ridiculous. I've seen women twice my size in bikinis that honestly probably looked better in them than I looked in mine, but it was helpful for my self-image to take that critique and apply it to the things I know about myself, to help me get past the blinders we so often have for ourselves. I can't see in a mirror what others see when they look at me, but when *I* am the *other* looking at someone else, I can get a better picture of how much others probably care about my pudge (which is somewhere near zero, unless they're also super self-consious and doing the same thing).

I'm not advocating the "at least I look better than HER" mindset. To claw your way over others in an attractiveness race is counterproductive and just reinforces the negative stigma I'm trying to erase from my own mind, even if I can't erase it from everyone else's.

What I'm advocating is stopping to mindfully consider what's going on around you. Really take a moment and analyze how much you care about what everyone else is wearing (you probably don't care at all), then you can safely assume that everyone else cares what YOU'RE wearing to approximately the same degree.

ETA: It's a mental exercise to PROVE to yourself that nobody cares as much as you think they do... because it's easy to say that, but it can be hard to really take it to heart without something in your mind saying, "They just told me that to make me feel better."

I didn't even bother to read all this.
No matter how "tactfully" you choose to phrase it, the sentiment is the same.
Use whatever euphemisms you like, but essentially you are echoing the main reason women are nasty to other women.

no one's self confidence should ever be based on how other people look. Or how you look with respects to them.
and frankly, if you were confident in yourself, or even confident in your own self-worth that you did not care what others thought, this comparison BS wouldn't even occur to you (and I use "you" to refer to most human beings, not YOU specifically).

You should have read it all because that's exactly what the OP was trying to say. If you had bother to read the whole thing instead of jumping to judgement you would have seen that.

ETA that I agree with others before me, you look amazing and should absolutely rock a bikini, just maybe one that fits better on top. Hope you have a blast! :flowerforyou:

she IS advocating it, even as she says she isn't.
so are you.

Wow. I'm so glad that YOU, a complete stranger on the internet, knows exactly what I am doing. Whew! Thank goodness for your ability to know my motives, I never would have been able to figure out how I really thought and my behavior without you pointing them out to be with no basis whatsoever. Thank you so much.

you're welcome.

:laugh: :yawn:

ShellyBell999

Absolutely yes wear a bikini!

But, like everyone else is saying, find the right fitting one.

Enjoy the beach!!

Eviesmum

Go for it, you've worked hard so why not. I do agree with the others though about a better fitting top.

I absolutely LOVE your tattoo :happy:

pspetralia

Wear a bikini? Yes, absolutely.

This bikini? Not sure it is a good fit/style for you. The bottoms are fine, but you need a bigger cup size or a different fitting top. This top could get uncomfortable pretty quickly. It might just be the way you're holding the camera up, but you're pinching yourself a little. A halter style will provide good support and be more flattering on your frame.

Beautiful tattoo! You should show it off, definitely.

Ditto!