What nobody tells you about losing weight
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I have an opinion about every person I meet and so do you, unless you're a robot. I Didn't say everyone who is obese is lying to themselves.rachellosesitall85 wrote: »
1. That's great that they are working hard and they should definitely not have a low opinion of themselves. It would be great if nobody had a low opinion of themselves, but I know that's not possible.thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »
I have a low opinion of obese people who act like they don't care about their weight when they clearly do, but I had a low opinion of myself when I was obese also. I don't go around telling them that I have a low opinion of them, but the feeling is there. I agree that it is probably a projection of obese me.thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »rachellosesitall85 wrote: »That envious relatives who are well past their youth will ask you not to lose any more weight, as if their opinion of your body mattered. I'll stop when I feel like it. End of. The faux concern is cute, though.
Also, that it's okay to allow people to live their happy or unhappy lives without interference. That an overweight or obese person has the right to be unhealthy, the same as we have the right to be healthy and that perhaps maybe they don't want our unsolicited thoughts, opinions, and advice.
I appreciate that. My eyebrows raised when I hear formerly obese people admit to judging fat people. Did they forget they had to be "ready," before they made changes?
Would they have appreciated others making the comments they now say they think towards others?
It might be more of a projection of their feelings toward their former selves.
But thank you, again, for bringing that up.
1) What of those people who are obese, grinding every day at the gym? Why should they have a low opinion of themselves?
2) What of those people who are obese, but are great moms and dads, kids, friends, neighbors, or help those who are less fortunate? Are they supposed to feel depressed because they failed at weight management?
3) What of those people who are obese who have significant other skills and talents? Are they supposed to feel less than you because they have an area of weakness?
I reject the notion that people who haven't figured it all out in life are less worthy of my respect.
I teach my children to work on their weaknesses - while reminding them that we are ALL working on something.
2. Of course not. I never said anyone should feel depressed. I don't have a low opinion of anyone who failed at weight management. I have a low opinion of people who fail at weight managment and resort to lying to their kids, friends, and neighbors. I especially have a low opinion of obese people who try to convince their children they're okay with being obese. That's one of the sickest lies you can tell children. That's probably part of why childhood obesity is on the rise.
3. No. If someone feels less than me, there's not much I can do to change that, sad but true. I certainly don't go around telling folks they should feel less than me.
You seem to think I have a low opinion of obese people in general. I can assure you I don't.
I reject the notion that anyone is worthy of my respect before they earn it and few people earn my respect.
I'm sorry but the only opinion you should have is one of yourself. Not everyone who's obese is lying to themselves. Who cares what a neighbor thinks? If you're that concerned what the world thinks of your weight, stay inside. For those of us who dont care, we don't need your approval.
I had a great life as an obese woman (still do). I'm sad that you feel the opinions of others matter so much, including yours. Fortunately here are some of us who couldn't care less.
Being obese never stopped me from being happy. I've lived a great life. I just wanted to challenge myself, and allow self-growth. I was living life so good I didn't notice that I was changing physically and though I had no health issues (even near 260bs) I knew that could change in my elder years. That isn't the same as hating my body and feeling disgusted in myself. I was never the type who dieted nor hated my body.
Not sure why you feel entitled to someone earning your respect just because they exist in a body you don't approve of. LOL. What? Get over yourself, hon. Trust me, no one wants to earn the respect of someone who thinks they're better than everyone else just because they got a new lease on llfe. Someone else's body is none of your concern. Not sure where this entitlement is coming from?
At 260lbs I never felt less than and I won't at 150, either. High self-esteem isn't just for physically in shape people. Fat people have it too. You've lost the weight, now please lose the chip on your shoulder, its heavier. Live and let live. You're not entitled to anyone's respect, even if they're the size of a whale....which is still none of your business. Sorry to burst your bubble but there are obese people who are in love with themselves. I'm sorry you weren't when you were.
I'm glad you've never hated your body. I don't want anyone to hate their body.
I AM entitled to my opinion and and choosing whether to respect someone. Thankfully nothing you say will ever take that away from me. Thin people are not excluded from earning my respect. I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion.
I actually haven't lost all the weight I plan to and I don't have a chip on my shoulder. You've missed the point of my post. I don't have a problem with obese people. My problem is with liars. Obese people lying about being okay with their bodys just happens to be a lie that I hate more than other lies. I have a high opinion of a lot of obese people. Just not obese liars.10 -
VickyLosing wrote: »What's up with that "you have to earn my respect" bullsh... Every living being should be treated with respect and dignity and yes, you get my respect without having to "earn" it. Because I was taught respect towards life in all its forms.
My admiration... Yes, that you have to earn.
But don't be so cocky and think other people depend on your admiration, approval or even respect.
@rachellosesitall85 put it better than I could.
To the topic: Nobody tells you about how your lifestyle change affects other people, too. My Mum lost 8lbs just by having one meal a day with me
very nice side effect!
merriam-webster.com/dictionary/admire
I'll just leave this here for anyone who wants to look at it.1 -
VickyLosing wrote: »What's up with that "you have to earn my respect" bullsh... Every living being should be treated with respect and dignity and yes, you get my respect without having to "earn" it. Because I was taught respect towards life in all its forms.
My admiration... Yes, that you have to earn.
But don't be so cocky and think other people depend on your admiration, approval or even respect.
@rachellosesitall85 put it better than I could.
To the topic: Nobody tells you about how your lifestyle change affects other people, too. My Mum lost 8lbs just by having one meal a day with me very nice side effect!
merriam-webster.com/dictionary/admire
I'll just leave this here for anyone who wants to look at it.
You KNOW the difference between admiration and respect. Don't play dumb please
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This was such a nice thread.42
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How you find ways to deal with haters, saboteurs, or otherwise unsupportive people. They are not the huge obstacle they appear to be, once you know how to deal with them.9
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »How you find ways to deal with haters, saboteurs, or otherwise unsupportive people. They are not the huge obstacle they appear to be, once you know how to deal with them.
Yes, and that over time your successes will teach you to tune out negativity. You'll learn to persevere in the face of many obstacles - and not just in the area of weight loss.7 -
You will get to shop for (and not "settle for") clothes34
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You will get to shop for (and not "settle for") clothes
Yep - not so much the actual "shopping" for me right now, since I'm still losing and money is tight (I hit up the thrift stores when I really need something), but definitely the "not settling"! I had boxes of clothes that were too small, which I've gradually emptied over the past few months - sometimes I found things that did fit but I didn't feel that they looked good, so they went in the donation pile!
I do have a few other items that don't look that great, but I'm keeping them because I don't have many similar options right now. As soon as I shrink out of them they're gone, and I'm not replacing them with the same style! 7 -
I've lost 10kg (22 pounds) within 12 weeks and I still have 20kg (44 pounds) to go. The things I've noticed the most ...
- Most days I don't feel like I've lost anything at all!
- My jeans are now so baggy that the belt doesn't help (they're baggy around my thighs and calves too)
- I look at my stomach in the mirror almost every morning whereas before I lost weight I would avoid the mirror (I can spot some faint lines on the side of my stomach too!!)
- I get less puffed out when walking around the shops or streets
- My thighs don't feel as huge when I sit down
- TMI but I definitely poop a lot more hahaha
- I used to fear the gym but I actually go to personal training now
- Generally I'm more confident, I can feel that I walk taller than I used to
- I have WAY less body odour than before haha
Can't wait to see what else is in store for me!!!19 -
I absolutely love eating. Losing almost 60lb hasn't changed that, except that I avoid overeating in a way that I didn't before. Having one large meal (maybe twice the size of my normal one) fills me up so much that I can't eat for the next two or three meals.
And it's not a mental thing where I think: "Oh, I overdid it, I should skip a meal or two". I physically can't eat. If I try I feel really sick. This is a problem for someone who enjoys eating!
So even though for a while there it felt like my body was struggling to adapt to the new eating patterns, now it's helping me stick to sensible portions and habits. I feel like my body is my ally in weight loss now, not my enemy!19 -
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I don't have to constantly rearrange the clothes I have on, top or pants. It was exhausting constantly doing that when getting off a seated position or after bending.
It's great to squeeze into a parking spot and not worry about whether I have enough room to get out of the door, or go past past some chairs in a packed restaurant without having to ask people to move their chair for me.23 -
that it could take your brain a LONG time to see in tje mirror what others do. I could see my 59 pounds loss in pictures and the clothes kept getting to big but in the mirror looked the same.
this weekend in a elevator with mirror on all walls I saw my reflection and thought I'm closer to looking a "normal" weight than I had thought. I was so happy with that reflection....still along way there but glad the brain caught up.18 -
I don't have to constantly rearrange the clothes I have on, top or pants. It was exhausting constantly doing that when getting off a seated position or after bending.
Ah yes, the fat guy shirt tug. I do it everytime I stand up or move in a seat. I'm worried my gut or crack is going to show so I have to make sure it's all covered properly. Not sure I'll ever break that habit.10 -
LOL yes the shirt tug/ trouser pull - also I'm never ever going to do the t-shirt w/shirt combo again, I used to think it was some optical illusion that made me look slim but I was kidding myself.10
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that people start commenting more on my appearance5
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What I'm finding so far is all the things I thought about weight loss aren't true. For example, hitting that golden hour after PT makes all the difference. Previously, I didn't think it mattered.0
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That while goodwill is good to use while transitioning sizes they have slimming mirrors. It drives me nuts. I already have issues with being able to tell how I look vs how I feel I look.
Not sure if it's just my goodwill but it makes me less likely to purchase because I don't know how I really look! Annoying AF2
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