Why do guys feel the need to approach me in the gym?!?

missfelicia6
missfelicia6 Posts: 174 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.

I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!

Walk away!

It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!

Then I fail for real!!
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Replies

  • bidwell69
    bidwell69 Posts: 10 Member
    good advice is always appreciated sometimes
    you don't notice if your posture is bad etc.
    but routines are a personal thing and you should
    do what works for you and makes you happy and
    if someone criticises your routine ignore them
    unless you feel it will enhance your workout.
    my wife lifts heavy weights sometimes and
    people always stare and she loses confidence
    when I'm not with her.
  • alliebeth88
    alliebeth88 Posts: 59 Member
    I think maybe you're taking it the wrong way. If they come up and say "Hey, you're doing that wrong." and nothing else, I'd be pissed too. But if they say "Can I show you how to..." or "You do it like this..." Take the advice. Don't let pride get in the way of doing things properly!

    Now it could also be that you are doing things exactly right and they are misinformed. If that's true, just politely say, "Thanks, but this is the way I'm supposed to do it."
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.

    I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!

    Walk away!

    It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!

    Then I fail for real!!

    Piece of advice, don't rely on others for self confidence.
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    Yes. I've been approached by both men and women in the gym to 'correct' my form. I appreciated the tips from the more experienced lifters.


    OP: Just be friendly. You might learn something.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.

    I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!

    Walk away!

    It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!

    Then I fail for real!!
    my advice for dealing with men you don't want to deal with?
    when they walk over, don't notice them.
    if they say something, don't notice them.
    headphones help. zero eye contact.
  • LoudmouthLee
    LoudmouthLee Posts: 358 Member
    Because they're hitting on you. They want to be your knight in shining armor.

    The want you to ask them for help so they can put their hands on you to show you the proper way to do something.

    I'm not speaking from experience or anything. Nope. Not me.
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Pretty girl is in a place surrounded by men who are lifting weights and going into a testosterone overdrive. Nope, can't think why that would lead to an approach. Not saying it's a good thing, just not at all surprising.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Men like to be helpful to women. Most of them probably have no idea they are offending you or dealing a blow to your confidence. They think they are being nice and doing you a favor. If they are actually being helpful, smile and say thank you and maybe even consider taking their advice. Who knows, they might turn into good lifting partners for you. If what they are telling you is wrong, say "Thanks, but I like doing it my way." There's no need to get mad or defensive unless it's someone who is repeatedly bothering you.
  • Frank_Just_Frank
    Frank_Just_Frank Posts: 454 Member
    They're either hitting on you or your gym is over-indexed on the "coach" gym guys.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-91_iXATY8
  • CharliesInCharge
    CharliesInCharge Posts: 278 Member
    Men like to be helpful to women. Most of them probably have no idea they are offending you or dealing a blow to your confidence. They think they are being nice and doing you a favor. If they are actually being helpful, smile and say thank you and maybe even consider taking their advice. Who knows, they might turn into good lifting partners for you. If what they are telling you is wrong, say "Thanks, but I like doing it my way." There's no need to get mad or defensive unless it's someone who is repeatedly bothering you.

    ^this

    men like women.. men's first inclination is to try to fix things or solve problems (perceived or not)
    a certain % of men only think with something other than their brain

    you seem smart enough to tell which is which
    its a shame that a small % has to make the rest of my gender look bad
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*
  • DrCaspianDoll
    DrCaspianDoll Posts: 87 Member
    Um because you are probably ACTUALLY doing something wrong, injury is no joke, take the advice humble and do your own research later.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:

    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Um because you are probably ACTUALLY doing something wrong, injury is no joke, take the advice humble and do your own research later.
    if she is, she's far better off asking the gym staff than she is taking advice from so random who could easily be telling her to do something even worse than she was doing before.
  • Tiffyholli
    Tiffyholli Posts: 92 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.


    I like it when people help me at the gym, think of it as constructive criticism & try not to get discouraged.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:

    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.
    i'm feisty. it's adorable.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    Um because you are probably ACTUALLY doing something wrong, injury is no joke, take the advice humble and do your own research later.
    if she is, she's far better off asking the gym staff than she is taking advice from so random who could easily be telling her to do something even worse than she was doing before.

    And if there are no gym staff?

    I "devil's advocate" a lot when I'm bored....
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:

    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.
    i'm feisty. it's adorable.

    I think you're my new best friend.
  • pittbullgirl
    pittbullgirl Posts: 341 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:





    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.

    LOL
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:

    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.
    i'm feisty. it's adorable.

    I think you're my new best friend.
    you, sir, are a man of taste xx
  • missfelicia6
    missfelicia6 Posts: 174 Member
    Nice thread this has become. LOL. I think my form was a little off.

    I got the guys name and thanked him for redirecting me to the proper form.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    If you think they are just trying to hit on you, give them a deadpan glare and a "I'm good. Thanks," and then look away.
    (Note: The "thanks" at the end is optional. I'm from the South. I can't help but be polite, even if in a hateful manner.)

    If you think they are trying to help but you know they are wrong, tell them how to do it correctly or just say "I'm good, thanks".

    If they try to touch you to help position you (and you don't want that because you think they are hitting you), drop heavy equipment on their foot and scream, "I DON'T KNOW YOU, I NEED AN ADULT" repeatedly, and then no guy in that gym will ever approach you again

    :flowerforyou:
  • redraidergirl2009
    redraidergirl2009 Posts: 2,560 Member
    Some guys think it's a good way to meet and hit on women....telling her she's wrong...really? I just have my headphones on the whole time so no one bothers me. I see more guys doing stuff wrong than women when I go the gym but I don't say anything.
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
    Moral of the story: only help if asked for help.
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
    They're approaching you cuz you're so hot. The lifting tips are just an excuse.
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
    Some guys think it's a good way to meet and hit on women....telling her she's wrong...really? I just have my headphones on the whole time so no one bothers me. I see more guys doing stuff wrong than women when I go the gym but I don't say anything.

    Well, if he is successful, then she'll be telling him he's wrong for the rest of his life.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    This sounds like the perfect excuse to head back over to the cardio area....

    That said, I don't say anything unless someone asks me...I might stare in disbelief at their complete lack of form and wonder to myself when they're going to hurt themselves, but I don't talk to people in the gym unless they approach me with a question.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    This happened to me a few ago...in the middle of a CrossFit session no less!

    We were doing snatches and he stopped me mid-WOD. At first, I was like...ugh. But it quickly dawned on me that he was really trying to be helpful. He even stopped his own workout and his own momentum to help me not get hurt and he gave me really good advice. I was really grateful in the end.

    And he wasn't hitting on me. He's married. Just a helpful person. There are a few left in this world :-)

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