Why do guys feel the need to approach me in the gym?!?
Replies
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That said, I don't say anything unless someone asks me...I might stare in disbelief at their complete lack of form and wonder to myself when they're going to hurt themselves
^ That.
Which, coincidentally, tends to expedite people's time in the lone squat rack so I can get in there.
I will also say, I've had more than one guy at my gym ask me for tips. Those days make me really happy
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They're either hitting on you or your gym is over-indexed on the "coach" gym guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-91_iXATY8
that's a riot .... thanks for sharing :laugh:0 -
If you think they are just trying to hit on you, give them a deadpan glare and a "I'm good. Thanks," and then look away.
(Note: The "thanks" at the end is optional. I'm from the South. I can't help but be polite, even if in a hateful manner.)
If you think they are trying to help but you know they are wrong, tell them how to do it correctly or just say "I'm good, thanks".
If they try to touch you to help position you (and you don't want that because you think they are hitting you), drop heavy equipment on their foot and scream, "I DON'T KNOW YOU, I NEED AN ADULT" repeatedly, and then no guy in that gym will ever approach you again
:flowerforyou:
LOL
Love it!!:laugh:0 -
I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.
I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!
Walk away!
It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!
Then I fail for real!!
Piece of advice, don't rely on others for self confidence.
Well said my man!0 -
Same problem I used to have. I now only take advice from the personal trainers at my gym. They may notice something about my posture or even motivate me to take my weights up a bit. I am doing the Stronglifts program too. At first, I would have guys come over and try to change my routine, think that I can't lift as heavy as I do, and mainly try to hit on me. However, as the others have said Be Confident. Once they see I know what I'm doing, they back away. They compliment me and keep it moving.0
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Didn't read all other replies. They may sincerely think they're helping you. Hear what they say. If it's ridiculous advice, tell them, "Thanks, but NO thanks." If it makes some sense, tell them, "Thanks. I'll think about it."
Take it in like a grain of salt. If you're doing something really wrong, they may be compelled to help you. Otherwise, I don't see why if they just wanted to hit on you, they wouldn't just hit on you.
Men almost NEVER approach me at gyms. I just figured my MEAN glare is working or that I know WTF I'm doing to the point they have nothing to correct me on. LOL
The few times that some fellows took the time to advise me on my earlier training years, it was some of the best advice and I still follow it! Some of that advice was priceless.0 -
I get how that could be totally annoying, but on the other hand, if you're doing something terribly wrong, it would be helpful to have someone point it out to you so you don't injure yourself. I wouldn't be able to depend on the trainers at my gym to correct me, as I see them regularly incorrect technique to their clients, so I'd be much more open to hearing a correction or suggestion from a gym goer who knows what he or she is doing....
I think just listen to the advice and consider it--if you're unsure if what they're suggesting is correct, do some research...ask a question in the Eat, Train, Progress group here on MFP, for instance, or ask in the Stronglifts group here, etc.
Surely some of those guys are full of it, some might be just trying to find a way to interact with you, but others might be sincerely offering you some good advice. I think it's worth keeping an open mind to the possibility that you could be getting some friendly help, especially as a beginner.
If you want to ignore everyone, just put on headphones and do your thing. I don't get bothered by guys at the gym, and I suspect it's because I don't look unsure of myself, I'm absorbed in my own workout, and I'm listening to headphones, always. Don't let any sort of comments, helpful or not, make you feel like you shouldn't be there lifting those weights. You should!0 -
Earphones say: "Don't talk to me, I am focused and jamming, man."0
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Pretty girl is in a place surrounded by men who are lifting weights and going into a testosterone overdrive. Nope, can't think why that would lead to an approach. Not saying it's a good thing, just not at all surprising.
LOL and yeah, probaly this. :laugh:0 -
because sometimes manly men like to feel even more manly by disparaging a woman trying to work out. Because clearly the woman is an idiot by simple virtue of her being female, and the man has to point that out
it makes their **** feel better. So next time that happens, just go "it's okay bro, I got this."0 -
because sometimes manly men like to feel even more manly by disparaging a woman trying to work out. Because clearly the woman is an idiot by simple virtue of her being female, and the man has to point that out
it makes their **** feel better. So next time that happens, just go "it's okay bro, I got this."
wow, angry much?
OP maybe your form IS terrible, maybe you are really hot and men just want to touch you.
I dunno.0 -
would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?
extremely unlikely.
Yes. I've been approached by both men and women in the gym to 'correct' my form. I appreciated the tips from the more experienced lifters.
OP: Just be friendly. You might learn something.
^^^ This, so much. .
You say you are just starting Stronglifts, so maybe you are trying new lifts. Maybe you are just increasing your weight. Either way, when you are doing big lifts proper form is important. .
Last week I was doing clean and jerks for the first time (after trying to teach myself off YouTube videos...) Someone came up and asked, "do mind if I give you a couple pointers?" He spent 5 minutes working with my on my form and I learned a lot. Now I have more confidence in my lifts - not less.0 -
[/quote]
I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.
Get over yourself.
[/quote]
As someone who never gets help from anyone, even when my car is broken down in the middle of the road, this ^^^ is my favorite response.0 -
Why do women think that just because it's a man that approaches you, they're hitting on you? If someone has approached you literally every day you're there, you may just be making some glaringly obvious mistake and since most lifters (at least at any gym I've ever been to) are men, they were trying to save you from getting hurt. If different women had approached you every day, would you have thought "Oh they're totally all hitting on me!" or that maybe you're actually doing something wrong? There is nothing wrong with having pride, but there's is also nothing wrong with being a little more humble, either.0
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Pretty girl is in a place surrounded by men who are lifting weights and going into a testosterone overdrive. Nope, can't think why that would lead to an approach. Not saying it's a good thing, just not at all surprising.
^^^This made me LOL.
Headphones on, eyes forward.
But chances are they really do want to help you, even if there's a side agenda.0 -
Also going to be a devil's advocate here.... If she (or anyone) doesn't know she's doing something wrong, then she may not know that she needs to seek advice. The "random" may also be way more qualified than some of the gym staff in regards to proper form, and that could be their reason for trying to help.
if she is, she's far better off asking the gym staff than she is taking advice from so random who could easily be telling her to do something even worse than she was doing before.Um because you are probably ACTUALLY doing something wrong, injury is no joke, take the advice humble and do your own research later.
And if there are no gym staff?
I "devil's advocate" a lot when I'm bored....0 -
Well that's a good thing, be worried when your not getting approached at all. Some women wish that would happen to them.0
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I guess I just don't see it being a problem/issue...I have been approached by men and women if I am not doing something right or where they feel it isn't being done right and I don't mind. I appreciate that they are taking time out of their workout to give me some friendly advice and sometimes well needed advice. I am quiet during my workout and tend not to go up to others to talk to them or give suggestions but I don't mind if they want to say something to me, after all we are all there for the same reason, to get or stay fit and healthy:happy:0
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last time a tyre blew out, two cars stopped and two men changed it, despite it clearly being a one man job.As someone who never gets help from anyone, even when my car is broken down in the middle of the road, this ^^^ is my favorite response.
in that situation i was shaken up and more than happy to let them.
yeah, i know, ''boohoo for you! oh the trauma of men wanted to impress you!!''
but, eventually, you get to the point of too much of a good thing, you become a mean, cynical, bitter b*tch and swear off dating in favour of collecting stray cats.
which reminds me, i'm out of kibble.0 -
I'm too old (50), too fat (207lbs) and not cute enough to be hit on or even helped my any of the guys at my gym. One of my motivations for doing this SL5x5 is that one day, the quys are going start trying to hit on me and I'm gonna be able to say "You didn't give me the time of day when I was new to this and needed help. Now that I got it wired, you can just F off".
Yeah, I'm a little bitter, but that just makes me work harder.0 -
I won't let some random pull over and help me on the side of the road. I can change a tire myself, and if it's anything worse, I'd rather err on the side of caution and wait for a tow truck than have some random person or people "helping" me if I'm alone.
As someone who never gets help from anyone, even when my car is broken down in the middle of the road, this ^^^ is my favorite response.I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.
Get over yourself.0 -
bitterness is where it's at. all the cool kids are jaded xxYeah, I'm a little bitter, but that just makes me work harder.0 -
Because they're hitting on you. They want to be your knight in shining armor.
The want you to ask them for help so they can put their hands on you to show you the proper way to do something.
I'm not speaking from experience or anything. Nope. Not me.
Bahahaha. I was thinking the same thing.0 -
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No.
i'm feisty. it's adorable.
i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?
extremely unlikely.
I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.
Get over yourself.
YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.
i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*
:laugh:
I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.
Settle down killer.0 -
my advice for dealing with men you don't want to deal with?I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.
I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!
Walk away!
It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!
Then I fail for real!!
when they walk over, don't notice them.
if they say something, don't notice them.
headphones help. zero eye contact.
Slather some feces on you or some skunk scent and no one will socialize with you...
Or get that 1000 yard stare down ... Whenever someone approaches you yell "CHARLIE IN THE TREES CHARLIE IN THE TREES"0 -
now i feel like such a dizzy cow! how could i miss something so obvious.
my advice for dealing with men you don't want to deal with?I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.
I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!
Walk away!
It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!
Then I fail for real!!
when they walk over, don't notice them.
if they say something, don't notice them.
headphones help. zero eye contact.
Slather some feces on you or some skunk scent and no one will socialize with you...
Or get that 1000 yard stare down ... Whenever someone approaches you yell "CHARLIE IN THE TREES CHARLIE IN THE TREES"
cat poop and PTSD should work a treat.
...until i meet a dude with a kittylitter fetish.0 -
I wish someone would say something about my forms etc sometimes
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Nice thread this has become. LOL. I think my form was a little off.
I got the guys name and thanked him for redirecting me to the proper form.
So it was one guy. OKkkkkkkkkkk.0 -
I'm too old (50), too fat (207lbs) and not cute enough to be hit on or even helped my any of the guys at my gym. One of my motivations for doing this SL5x5 is that one day, the quys are going start trying to hit on me and I'm gonna be able to say "You didn't give me the time of day when I was new to this and needed help. Now that I got it wired, you can just F off".
Yeah, I'm a little bitter, but that just makes me work harder.
:laugh: As I was reading this and other threads about women getting "advice" or "hit on" I realized I've never once had either, hummm guess I'm not cute enough either. We'll show them!! lol0
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