Why do guys feel the need to approach me in the gym?!?

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24

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  • pittbullgirl
    pittbullgirl Posts: 341 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:





    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.

    LOL
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:

    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.
    i'm feisty. it's adorable.

    I think you're my new best friend.
    you, sir, are a man of taste xx
  • missfelicia6
    missfelicia6 Posts: 174 Member
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    Nice thread this has become. LOL. I think my form was a little off.

    I got the guys name and thanked him for redirecting me to the proper form.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
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    If you think they are just trying to hit on you, give them a deadpan glare and a "I'm good. Thanks," and then look away.
    (Note: The "thanks" at the end is optional. I'm from the South. I can't help but be polite, even if in a hateful manner.)

    If you think they are trying to help but you know they are wrong, tell them how to do it correctly or just say "I'm good, thanks".

    If they try to touch you to help position you (and you don't want that because you think they are hitting you), drop heavy equipment on their foot and scream, "I DON'T KNOW YOU, I NEED AN ADULT" repeatedly, and then no guy in that gym will ever approach you again

    :flowerforyou:
  • redraidergirl2009
    redraidergirl2009 Posts: 2,560 Member
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    Some guys think it's a good way to meet and hit on women....telling her she's wrong...really? I just have my headphones on the whole time so no one bothers me. I see more guys doing stuff wrong than women when I go the gym but I don't say anything.
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
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    Moral of the story: only help if asked for help.
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
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    They're approaching you cuz you're so hot. The lifting tips are just an excuse.
  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
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    Some guys think it's a good way to meet and hit on women....telling her she's wrong...really? I just have my headphones on the whole time so no one bothers me. I see more guys doing stuff wrong than women when I go the gym but I don't say anything.

    Well, if he is successful, then she'll be telling him he's wrong for the rest of his life.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    This sounds like the perfect excuse to head back over to the cardio area....

    That said, I don't say anything unless someone asks me...I might stare in disbelief at their complete lack of form and wonder to myself when they're going to hurt themselves, but I don't talk to people in the gym unless they approach me with a question.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    This happened to me a few ago...in the middle of a CrossFit session no less!

    We were doing snatches and he stopped me mid-WOD. At first, I was like...ugh. But it quickly dawned on me that he was really trying to be helpful. He even stopped his own workout and his own momentum to help me not get hurt and he gave me really good advice. I was really grateful in the end.

    And he wasn't hitting on me. He's married. Just a helpful person. There are a few left in this world :-)
  • yummy_
    yummy_ Posts: 248 Member
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    That said, I don't say anything unless someone asks me...I might stare in disbelief at their complete lack of form and wonder to myself when they're going to hurt themselves

    ^ That.
    Which, coincidentally, tends to expedite people's time in the lone squat rack so I can get in there.

    I will also say, I've had more than one guy at my gym ask me for tips. Those days make me really happy :)
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
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    They're either hitting on you or your gym is over-indexed on the "coach" gym guys.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-91_iXATY8

    that's a riot .... thanks for sharing :laugh:
  • micheleld73
    micheleld73 Posts: 914 Member
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    If you think they are just trying to hit on you, give them a deadpan glare and a "I'm good. Thanks," and then look away.
    (Note: The "thanks" at the end is optional. I'm from the South. I can't help but be polite, even if in a hateful manner.)

    If you think they are trying to help but you know they are wrong, tell them how to do it correctly or just say "I'm good, thanks".

    If they try to touch you to help position you (and you don't want that because you think they are hitting you), drop heavy equipment on their foot and scream, "I DON'T KNOW YOU, I NEED AN ADULT" repeatedly, and then no guy in that gym will ever approach you again

    :flowerforyou:

    LOL
    Love it!!:laugh:
  • ice1200s
    ice1200s Posts: 237 Member
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    I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.

    I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!

    Walk away!

    It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!

    Then I fail for real!!

    Piece of advice, don't rely on others for self confidence.


    Well said my man!
  • Songbirdcw
    Songbirdcw Posts: 320 Member
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    Same problem I used to have. I now only take advice from the personal trainers at my gym. They may notice something about my posture or even motivate me to take my weights up a bit. I am doing the Stronglifts program too. At first, I would have guys come over and try to change my routine, think that I can't lift as heavy as I do, and mainly try to hit on me. However, as the others have said Be Confident. Once they see I know what I'm doing, they back away. They compliment me and keep it moving.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    Didn't read all other replies. They may sincerely think they're helping you. Hear what they say. If it's ridiculous advice, tell them, "Thanks, but NO thanks." If it makes some sense, tell them, "Thanks. I'll think about it."

    Take it in like a grain of salt. If you're doing something really wrong, they may be compelled to help you. Otherwise, I don't see why if they just wanted to hit on you, they wouldn't just hit on you.

    Men almost NEVER approach me at gyms. I just figured my MEAN glare is working or that I know WTF I'm doing to the point they have nothing to correct me on. LOL

    The few times that some fellows took the time to advise me on my earlier training years, it was some of the best advice and I still follow it! Some of that advice was priceless.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
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    I get how that could be totally annoying, but on the other hand, if you're doing something terribly wrong, it would be helpful to have someone point it out to you so you don't injure yourself. I wouldn't be able to depend on the trainers at my gym to correct me, as I see them regularly incorrect technique to their clients, so I'd be much more open to hearing a correction or suggestion from a gym goer who knows what he or she is doing....

    I think just listen to the advice and consider it--if you're unsure if what they're suggesting is correct, do some research...ask a question in the Eat, Train, Progress group here on MFP, for instance, or ask in the Stronglifts group here, etc.

    Surely some of those guys are full of it, some might be just trying to find a way to interact with you, but others might be sincerely offering you some good advice. I think it's worth keeping an open mind to the possibility that you could be getting some friendly help, especially as a beginner.

    If you want to ignore everyone, just put on headphones and do your thing. I don't get bothered by guys at the gym, and I suspect it's because I don't look unsure of myself, I'm absorbed in my own workout, and I'm listening to headphones, always. Don't let any sort of comments, helpful or not, make you feel like you shouldn't be there lifting those weights. You should!
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Earphones say: "Don't talk to me, I am focused and jamming, man."
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Pretty girl is in a place surrounded by men who are lifting weights and going into a testosterone overdrive. Nope, can't think why that would lead to an approach. Not saying it's a good thing, just not at all surprising.


    LOL and yeah, probaly this. :laugh:
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    because sometimes manly men like to feel even more manly by disparaging a woman trying to work out. Because clearly the woman is an idiot by simple virtue of her being female, and the man has to point that out

    it makes their **** feel better. So next time that happens, just go "it's okay bro, I got this."

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