Why do guys feel the need to approach me in the gym?!?

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13

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  • Hendrix7
    Hendrix7 Posts: 1,903 Member
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    because sometimes manly men like to feel even more manly by disparaging a woman trying to work out. Because clearly the woman is an idiot by simple virtue of her being female, and the man has to point that out

    it makes their **** feel better. So next time that happens, just go "it's okay bro, I got this."

    wow, angry much?

    OP maybe your form IS terrible, maybe you are really hot and men just want to touch you.

    I dunno.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    Yes. I've been approached by both men and women in the gym to 'correct' my form. I appreciated the tips from the more experienced lifters.


    OP: Just be friendly. You might learn something.

    ^^^ This, so much. .

    You say you are just starting Stronglifts, so maybe you are trying new lifts. Maybe you are just increasing your weight. Either way, when you are doing big lifts proper form is important. .

    Last week I was doing clean and jerks for the first time (after trying to teach myself off YouTube videos...) Someone came up and asked, "do mind if I give you a couple pointers?" He spent 5 minutes working with my on my form and I learned a lot. Now I have more confidence in my lifts - not less.
  • Adw7677
    Adw7677 Posts: 201 Member
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    [/quote]

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    [/quote]


    As someone who never gets help from anyone, even when my car is broken down in the middle of the road, this ^^^ is my favorite response.
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    Why do women think that just because it's a man that approaches you, they're hitting on you? If someone has approached you literally every day you're there, you may just be making some glaringly obvious mistake and since most lifters (at least at any gym I've ever been to) are men, they were trying to save you from getting hurt. If different women had approached you every day, would you have thought "Oh they're totally all hitting on me!" or that maybe you're actually doing something wrong? There is nothing wrong with having pride, but there's is also nothing wrong with being a little more humble, either.
  • sc10985
    sc10985 Posts: 347 Member
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    Pretty girl is in a place surrounded by men who are lifting weights and going into a testosterone overdrive. Nope, can't think why that would lead to an approach. Not saying it's a good thing, just not at all surprising.

    ^^^This made me LOL.

    Headphones on, eyes forward.

    But chances are they really do want to help you, even if there's a side agenda.
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    Um because you are probably ACTUALLY doing something wrong, injury is no joke, take the advice humble and do your own research later.
    if she is, she's far better off asking the gym staff than she is taking advice from so random who could easily be telling her to do something even worse than she was doing before.

    And if there are no gym staff?

    I "devil's advocate" a lot when I'm bored....
    Also going to be a devil's advocate here.... If she (or anyone) doesn't know she's doing something wrong, then she may not know that she needs to seek advice. The "random" may also be way more qualified than some of the gym staff in regards to proper form, and that could be their reason for trying to help.
  • TiQuan81
    TiQuan81 Posts: 3 Member
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    Well that's a good thing, be worried when your not getting approached at all. Some women wish that would happen to them.
  • rose228822
    rose228822 Posts: 186 Member
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    I guess I just don't see it being a problem/issue...I have been approached by men and women if I am not doing something right or where they feel it isn't being done right and I don't mind. I appreciate that they are taking time out of their workout to give me some friendly advice and sometimes well needed advice. I am quiet during my workout and tend not to go up to others to talk to them or give suggestions but I don't mind if they want to say something to me, after all we are all there for the same reason, to get or stay fit and healthy:happy:
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    As someone who never gets help from anyone, even when my car is broken down in the middle of the road, this ^^^ is my favorite response.
    last time a tyre blew out, two cars stopped and two men changed it, despite it clearly being a one man job.
    in that situation i was shaken up and more than happy to let them.

    yeah, i know, ''boohoo for you! oh the trauma of men wanted to impress you!!''
    but, eventually, you get to the point of too much of a good thing, you become a mean, cynical, bitter b*tch and swear off dating in favour of collecting stray cats.

    which reminds me, i'm out of kibble.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    I'm too old (50), too fat (207lbs) and not cute enough to be hit on or even helped my any of the guys at my gym. One of my motivations for doing this SL5x5 is that one day, the quys are going start trying to hit on me and I'm gonna be able to say "You didn't give me the time of day when I was new to this and needed help. Now that I got it wired, you can just F off".

    Yeah, I'm a little bitter, but that just makes me work harder.
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    As someone who never gets help from anyone, even when my car is broken down in the middle of the road, this ^^^ is my favorite response.
    I won't let some random pull over and help me on the side of the road. I can change a tire myself, and if it's anything worse, I'd rather err on the side of caution and wait for a tow truck than have some random person or people "helping" me if I'm alone.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Yeah, I'm a little bitter, but that just makes me work harder.
    bitterness is where it's at. all the cool kids are jaded xx
  • KolaCabana
    KolaCabana Posts: 19
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    Because they're hitting on you. They want to be your knight in shining armor.

    The want you to ask them for help so they can put their hands on you to show you the proper way to do something.

    I'm not speaking from experience or anything. Nope. Not me.

    Bahahaha. I was thinking the same thing.
  • Sarge516
    Sarge516 Posts: 256 Member
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    That would be "the coach"...

    http://youtu.be/_-91_iXATY8
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    would the dude have walked up and said something if she was a dude?

    extremely unlikely.

    I help people all the time if they are doing something that will cause injury.

    Get over yourself.
    i've a lifetime's experience of men trying to tell me how to do things which, more often than not, i'm more qualified to do than they are. the frequency of 'help' offered is directly proportional to the attractiveness of the woman involved.

    YOU might help people because you're a helpy mr mchelperton, but you'd be a fool to judge everyone by your standards.

    i'll get over myself the day someone gives me a good reason to. *awaits*

    :laugh:

    I'll help someone like 3-5 times a year, mostly because I don't want to be the one there to perform 1st aid.

    Settle down killer.
    i'm feisty. it's adorable.
    No.
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.

    I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!

    Walk away!

    It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!

    Then I fail for real!!
    my advice for dealing with men you don't want to deal with?
    when they walk over, don't notice them.
    if they say something, don't notice them.
    headphones help. zero eye contact.

    Slather some feces on you or some skunk scent and no one will socialize with you...

    Or get that 1000 yard stare down ... Whenever someone approaches you yell "CHARLIE IN THE TREES CHARLIE IN THE TREES"
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I'm sorry, I have to vent. I am just starting stronglifts 5x5 and I'm minding my own business and each time....a man has to come up to me and tell me I'm doing something wrong.

    I appreciate the advice, but don't insult my entire workout!

    Walk away!

    It strips me of all of the confidence I had when I walked in!

    Then I fail for real!!
    my advice for dealing with men you don't want to deal with?
    when they walk over, don't notice them.
    if they say something, don't notice them.
    headphones help. zero eye contact.

    Slather some feces on you or some skunk scent and no one will socialize with you...

    Or get that 1000 yard stare down ... Whenever someone approaches you yell "CHARLIE IN THE TREES CHARLIE IN THE TREES"
    now i feel like such a dizzy cow! how could i miss something so obvious.

    cat poop and PTSD should work a treat.
    ...until i meet a dude with a kittylitter fetish.
  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
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    I wish someone would say something about my forms etc sometimes :D
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    Nice thread this has become. LOL. I think my form was a little off.

    I got the guys name and thanked him for redirecting me to the proper form.

    So it was one guy. OKkkkkkkkkkk.
  • murphy612
    murphy612 Posts: 734 Member
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    I'm too old (50), too fat (207lbs) and not cute enough to be hit on or even helped my any of the guys at my gym. One of my motivations for doing this SL5x5 is that one day, the quys are going start trying to hit on me and I'm gonna be able to say "You didn't give me the time of day when I was new to this and needed help. Now that I got it wired, you can just F off".

    Yeah, I'm a little bitter, but that just makes me work harder.

    :laugh: As I was reading this and other threads about women getting "advice" or "hit on" I realized I've never once had either, hummm guess I'm not cute enough either. We'll show them!! lol

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