Fining Parents of Bullies

wineplease

Do you think fining the parents of bullies will stop kids from bullying?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/parents-bullies-fined-kids-behavior-article-1.1363172

Here's a snip from the story:

Raising a bully in Monona, Wisc., can cost parents a pretty penny.

Police in the town are now holding parents liable for failing to address their kids' bad behavior. Bullying fines start at $114 and repeat offenses can cost parents up to $177 every time.

_SusieQ_

But how do you define bullying? That's a rampant issue here on the forums, and also in real life. Yes, it's a little more obvious in real life, with children. But again, suppose it's mild teasing or ribbing, but you have an uber sensitive child. Is it bullying b/c the sensitive child is easily offended? Is that fair to the kid who really isn't malicious? And if you do have a true bully child b/c they learned it at home, fining isn't going to accomplish anything

<playing devil's advocate here>

ItsCasey

I think putting them in jail or threatening to send their kids to juvenile detention might work better. They will be no more afraid of a $100-$200 fine than most people are of speeding tickets.

wineplease

But how do you define bullying? That's a rampant issue here on the forums, and also in real life. Yes, it's a little more obvious in real life, with children. But again, suppose it's mild teasing or ribbing, but you have an uber sensitive child. Is it bullying b/c the sensitive child is easily offended? Is that fair to the kid who really isn't malicious? And if you do have a true bully child b/c they learned it at home, fining isn't going to accomplish anything
<playing devil's advocate here>

"The ordinance defines bullying as "an intentional course of conduct which is reasonably likely to intimidate, emotionally abuse, slander, threaten or intimidate another person and which serves no legitimate purpose."

kennethmgreen

First of all, that picture of the police sergeant in the article is WAY too big.

SoViLicious

I raise my kids to defend themselves whenever possible. With that being said, if they grow up to be bullies, I pray they get the *kitten* whooping they deserve.

wineplease

First of all, that picture of the police sergeant in the article is WAY too big.

It really is.

_SusieQ_

"reasonably likely" is still vague, and up for interpretation.

A boy pulling a girls hair b/c he likes her. She doesn't like him, it's bullying. She does like him, it's cute and she giggles.

Yes, that's a really mild example, but my point being that depending on the recipients reaction, sensitivity and interpretation, this could open up a bigger can of worms.

MayaSPapaya

I don't think it will really stop the kids from doing it, especially if they're young. If the kid is young, the parents would have to pay the fine all by themselves. However I think if the kid is older, if the parents make them pay them back, it might be more effective.

Gilbrod

My oldest is taking MMA lessons. My youngest will do so as well when he turns 8. I have already told my boy that if he ever bullies anyone, or if I even hear about it; 1) he will have to deal with me, 2) if he gets his *kitten* handed to him, don't come crying to me. So far, no complaints. Other than from his bro. So fining a paren't, I'm sure it would deter some, but what if you have the he said he said game and one claims self defense. It's a hard thing to prove IMO.

wineplease

Yes, that's a really mild example, but my point being that depending on the recipients reaction, sensitivity and interpretation, this could open up a bigger can of worms.

I agree. I don't know how you'd keep it consistent.

PlayerHatinDogooder

I raise my kids to defend themselves whenever possible. With that being said, if they grow up to be bullies, I pray they get the *kitten* whooping they deserve.

I agree. I think that what Susie Q said also holds some validity. There's a fine balance, especially among guys, where light teasing and grazing is pretty much the social norm. Sometimes it's how we show affection to one another. I'd hate to see behavior like that receive a fine.

On the other hand it's probably quite a common excuse for bullies who say to their parents 'I was just poking fun at him a little. If he wasn't such a ****** we wouldn't pick on him so much.

It's an interesting topic.

kennethmgreen

OP phrased the question "Do you think fining the parents of bullies will stop kids from bullying?"

Really great question. I love that you didn't ask whether the fines were right/wrong/etc.

I don't know. I think it depends on too many things to align in order to effectively stop kids from bullying. Seems like it would require the following to work:
1) parents accept their kid is a bully (or at least being a bully in a the incident that triggered the fine)
2) parents accept responsibility for their kids actions, accept the fine
3) parents change their behavior
4) kid changes his/her behavior

That's a lot of "depends" <insert old folk's home joke>

I suspect a lot of parents will not like this. And some may just get mad at their kids, with some of those possibly just perpetuating the bullying. So, there is potential that this could actually make the situation worse.

I guess the threat of fines could be a deterrent in the same way that way the threat of jail is a deterrent. So technically, fining parents of bullies may stop kids from bullying, but that could simply be delaying the bullying behavior. I doubt this solution is going to fundamentally change the parenting skills and/or the social skills of the child.

And I haven't even touched the issue of defining what "bullying" means. As Susie pointed out, "reasonably likely" is still vague.

wineplease

How many real bullies do you think get "bullied" in their own homes? I bet a lot. It's often a learned behavior. So, fine the people who are at the root cause and maybe it will stop. Maybe?

I still agree there would have to be specific examples of what is considered bullying if this is going to work. I like the idea of the parents being notified every time their child is considered to be bullying someone.

harleydall76

I think putting them in jail or threatening to send their kids to juvenile detention might work better. They will be no more afraid of a $100-$200 fine than most people are of speeding tickets.

This is what I'm thinking.

craigmandu

What do you think will happen to the children whose parents just got fined the 2nd time for $177 because Jimmy/Molly etc... doesn't "play well with others"?

You think a stern talking to is all they'll get? If I cost my parents hundreds of dollars for all the fights I got into in school, you better believe some serious child abuse would have taken place at home.

I fail to see how this will do anything "positive" towards bullying...if anything, I think it'll cause more domestic issues at home.

_noob_

This sounds like a lift your fist in the air and "YEAH" kind of thing that sounds cool to talk about but sounds like a legal nightmare on paper.

UsedToBeHusky

I really think that this is not appropriate. Despite popular belief, children are humans like everyone else. No one person can be held accountable for the actions of another. If you can't make the bully accountable for their own actions, then they will never learn anything, no matter how hard you come down on the parents.

This would be like prosecuting Adolf Hitler's mom.

PlayerHatinDogooder

There's alot of assumptions going on that every bully is abused at home. Bullying can be a result of MANY things. Divorce, alcoholism, a close family member passing . . . .

Still I think eyelikepie brings up some very valid points. There are alot of variables to consider but perhaps it will encourage parents who tend to look the other way to pay a bit more attention to the child's school problems.

whierd

Oh yeah, sounds like a great idea. Let's fine the parents and cause some of these kids to be viciously beaten or emotionally abused by their parents as retaliation for costing them money. Sounds really effing dandy.


I hate stupid ***, short sighted people.

PoopieMonster

No. Put the kids in jail.