Fining Parents of Bullies

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  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    I really think that this is not appropriate. Despite popular belief, children are humans like everyone else. No one person can be held accountable for the actions of another. If you can't make the bully accountable for their own actions, then they will never learn anything, no matter how hard you come down on the parents.

    Parents are held accountable when their children skip school. Parents pay fines when children get their cell phones confiscated. Parents pay fines when their children lose school books or damage property. Many times, holding the parent liable will have a trickle down effect on the child.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I really think that this is not appropriate. Despite popular belief, children are humans like everyone else. No one person can be held accountable for the actions of another. If you can't make the bully accountable for their own actions, then they will never learn anything, no matter how hard you come down on the parents.

    Parents are held accountable when their children skip school. Parents pay fines when children get their cell phones confiscated. Parents pay fines when their children lose school books or damage property. Many times, holding the parent liable will have a tricke down effect on the child.

    And some kids behave the way the do because of biology and not home-training!
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    There's alot of assumptions going on that every bully is abused at home. Bullying can be a result of MANY things. Divorce, alcoholism, a close family member passing . . . .

    Still I think eyelikepie brings up some very valid points. There are alot of variables to consider but perhaps it will encourage parents who tend to look the other way to pay a bit more attention to the child's school problems.

    And what do you say to the parents who don't condone that activity, and don't "teach" it to their kids, but they act that way anyhow? are you going to "exclude" them somehow from the fine?

    This whole notion is ridiculous....too many variables,and way too many assumptions about the "root" cause. Kids are kids, people are people, everyone has their own personality, some are simply meaner than others...that doesn't mean the "parents" are to blame, or did a bad job.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    On the other hand it's probably quite a common excuse for bullies who say to their parents 'I was just poking fun at him a little. If he wasn't such a ****** we wouldn't pick on him so much.


    Absolutely this. Which validates my point of interpretation being a problem.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Oh yeah, sounds like a great idea. Let's fine the parents and cause some of these kids to be viciously beaten or emotionally abused by their parents as retaliation for costing them money. Sounds really effing dandy.

    My kids have cost me money with their bad decisions and never once have I visciously beaten or emotionally abused them. They have consequences and are made aware of what will happen next time, but never beaten or abused.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    Oh yeah, sounds like a great idea. Let's fine the parents and cause some of these kids to be viciously beaten or emotionally abused by their parents as retaliation for costing them money. Sounds really effing dandy.

    My kids have cost me money with their bad decisions and never once have I visciously beaten or emotionally abused them. They have consequences and are made aware of what will happen next time, but never beaten or abused.

    Well, if you don't do it, then I'm sure it don't happen!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Oh yeah, sounds like a great idea. Let's fine the parents and cause some of these kids to be viciously beaten or emotionally abused by their parents as retaliation for costing them money. Sounds really effing dandy.

    My kids have cost me money with their bad decisions and never once have I visciously beaten or emotionally abused them. They have consequences and are made aware of what will happen next time, but never beaten or abused.

    Why would you take that statement personally? Just because you wouldn't beat your children, doesn't mean somebody else wouldn't.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Well, if you don't do it, then I'm sure it don't happen!

    No, I didn't intend for it to sound like that. I was just saying that's not always going to be the case.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    Why would you take that statement personally? Just because you wouldn't beat your children, doesn't mean somebody else wouldn't.

    I didn't take it personally. I was just saying that wouldn't necessarily happen in everyone's home.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Oh yeah, sounds like a great idea. Let's fine the parents and cause some of these kids to be viciously beaten or emotionally abused by their parents as retaliation for costing them money. Sounds really effing dandy.

    My kids have cost me money with their bad decisions and never once have I visciously beaten or emotionally abused them. They have consequences and are made aware of what will happen next time, but never beaten or abused.

    That is because you aren't a horrible parent. Not everyone else is so lucky.

    And let's say that most parents are like you. What about the ones that are already on budgets that are stretched to their limit? $100-200 means utilities and food to these families.
  • eamartin
    eamartin Posts: 216 Member
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    Parents need to pay attention to their children & raise them properly. All 3 of my children are school aged & I would be damned if they didn't have respect for themselves & others around them. Children are not born bullies.. they are raised that way.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    And let's say that most parents are like you. What about the ones that are already on budgets that are stretched to their limit? $100-200 means utilities and food to these families.

    I know. I don't know the solution or the plan they have in place. Hopefully the family would have to go before a judge and let the judge make the call. Perhaps community service in lieu of payment as they do for other cases?

    I'm not saying I agree with this, nor am I saying this would work. I'm wondering myself.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    Fining someone for what another person does... sounds legit to me.

    ay0yhk.gif
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
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    They need to just paddle them the way we got paddled when we messed up! Enough of this no spanking, no paddling BS! And if they keep it up...kick them out of school, 1st offense...no second chances. Eventually, the bully will get the point.
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
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    My friend's 8 year old daughter bit a little girl, she's got some anger issues and she's already a little bully. Would fining my friend do anything to help the situation? Likely no, they're barely scraping by and my friend's already come down hard on her daughter.

    What would help is making sure her daughter gets mandatory therapy and get the mental health issues taken care. She's doing that now, but I'm not sure other parents would do the same.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Why would you take that statement personally? Just because you wouldn't beat your children, doesn't mean somebody else wouldn't.

    I didn't take it personally. I was just saying that wouldn't necessarily happen in everyone's home.

    And I'm saying that just because it doesn't happen everyone's home, doesn't mean it should be discounted as if it never does.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    And let's say that most parents are like you. What about the ones that are already on budgets that are stretched to their limit? $100-200 means utilities and food to these families.

    I know. I don't know the solution or the plan they have in place. Hopefully the family would have to go before a judge and let the judge make the call. Perhaps community service in lieu of payment as they do for other cases?

    I'm not saying I agree with this, nor am I saying this would work. I'm wondering myself.

    I think it would no more deter bullying than a ticket deters texting while driving and speeding.

    My solution would be to call parents and schedule a counseling session with them and their child, discussing bullying and putting an action plan in place. Or as a most severe measure, community service for the child since it is THEIR behavior that is at fault.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    They need to just paddle them the way we got paddled when we messed up! Enough of this no spanking, no paddling BS! And if they keep it up...kick them out of school, 1st offense...no second chances. Eventually, the bully will get the point.

    Bullying was around during the paddling era. So no.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    Parents need to pay attention to their children & raise them properly. All 3 of my children are school aged & I would be damned if they didn't have respect for themselves & others around them. Children are not born bullies.. they are raised that way.

    You sure about that?

    This is a very short-sighted statement you have made. I know many kids who are completely different people in school than they are around mom/dad.

    Your assumption that someone is raised "to be a bully" is total conjecture unless you know the family a bully comes from personally.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
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    There's alot of assumptions going on that every bully is abused at home. Bullying can be a result of MANY things. Divorce, alcoholism, a close family member passing . . . .

    Still I think eyelikepie brings up some very valid points. There are alot of variables to consider but perhaps it will encourage parents who tend to look the other way to pay a bit more attention to the child's school problems.

    And what do you say to the parents who don't condone that activity, and don't "teach" it to their kids, but they act that way anyhow? are you going to "exclude" them somehow from the fine?

    This whole notion is ridiculous....too many variables,and way too many assumptions about the "root" cause. Kids are kids, people are people, everyone has their own personality, some are simply meaner than others...that doesn't mean the "parents" are to blame, or did a bad job.

    I agree that they're are too many variables. But let's face it parent's are often times both judged and punished for their child's behavior. If you're driving and your kid takes off his safety belt and and a cop pulls you over you're going to be the one to get a ticket. Not your kid. All I'm saying is that perhaps this might provide some insentive to the parents who aren't taking it all that seriously because they believe 'kids need to sort out their own problems' or 'Little Jimmy just needs to toughen up'.

    On the other hand it could cause already over burdened parents with problematic children to be fined and ridiculed even though they're already doing everything they possibly can. It could also encourage already abusive children to abuse their children further.

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