Two people with large difference in caloric needs
jtompsn
Posts: 6 Member
My husband and I are both doing MFP but meal planning is really difficult. I get about 1450 calories a day but my husband gets 2450 a day. I cook dinner and make lunches while I'm making dinner. While I'm doing that I just track for both of us because it is most convenient. It's not difficult for me to get my calories each day but it is really difficult for my husband. He tells me he doesn't have to eat that much but I guess I'm in the WW mentality of "you have to eat your calories". I don't know which of us is right. At any rate, he tends to always be about 500 calories below his goal before exercising. I use full fat cheeses, mayo, yogurt and anything else I can think of to raise his calories but he is still short. I've thought about putting cookies, candy bar, etc in his lunch bag but he won't eat it because he says he can't. He's driving me nuts. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to sneak extra calories in? Or does he even need to eat those calories?
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Ah! 2,450 calories a day is like a fantasy for meeeee.
I have no advice, sorry for being so useless. =P But maybe it would be good if you added his stats, like his height, current weight, calories to maintain his current weight, BMI?0 -
Why are you even worrying about his calories? He's a big boy. Let him worry about it.0
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How about some avocado slices, nuts, well nuts alone through out the day as a healthy snack and definitely will add in some healthy fats and plenty of cals. For some reason my mind is blanking out on anything else. The rest of the crew will be adding ideas shortly I'm sure.
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Me and my husband do it really easy. He gets the same meals as me. And next to it he eats what he want or need. Like snacking
I am on 1200 to 1300 So he get all the nutrition's he need from our meals
But to his meal i add the salad dressing or the melted cheese sauce, on his bake potato he takes 2 tsp of sour cream mine is a half. In the morning scrambled egg for both his has cheese mine not etc etc. When i go to the gym he eat his peanut butter crackers and nuts etc
He doesn't have to lose any weight and is a sedentary ( retired) senior so his needs are not that high.
But to make it easy on me and to support me he eats the same and just take some more what he want next to it.
Maybe you can find a way with this info? Dont know.
But i find it mighty handy that he eat the same I only change some little things in his meal to make it more calorie dense
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My husband can eat about 1000 calories more than I can too. When I make food for the family, I just make a larger portion for him. 2 extra pancakes, 1 extra chicken breast, more pasta. Honestly, if he isn't hungry or tired I don't imagine it matters that his is under his calories.0
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Ideally, he needs to be close to those calories because when you do a large amount of calorie gaps for a long enough period of time, it makes weight loss more challenging on your body (i.e. your weight can stagnate, your muscle might start breaking down, progressively worse temper, etc. Those are just examples, but there are a multitude of unpleasant side effects of eating too little for too long.)
The typically recommended weight loss deficit is 20%, whether or not that is your husband's goal, he should never shoot to lose more than 2 pounds a week over the long term. If you have a minimum goal, you should stick to it. Try getting some granola clusters or nut clusters that aren't super bulky but will add calories (I love adding Kirkland Cashew Clusters from Costco for example, since they are reasonably priced, taste good, and have good nutrient ratios.)
You could try protein bars or shakes too because you can add up calories pretty quickly if you do them right (adding peanut/almond butter, fruits, veggies, and nuts to shakes and making sure they are made with 4%milk or cream if the calorie gap is that hard to bridge.)
He really should try to take more initiative in what he eats if nothing you suggest is working, but that minimum number of calories is there for a very important reason.0 -
Seriously, he's a grown man and is going to learn nothing if you do this for him. Give him bigger portions and add nut butters, nuts, avocados (nutrient dense foods).0
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My husband and I are both doing MFP but meal planning is really difficult. I get about 1450 calories a day but my husband gets 2450 a day. I cook dinner and make lunches while I'm making dinner. While I'm doing that I just track for both of us because it is most convenient. It's not difficult for me to get my calories each day but it is really difficult for my husband. He tells me he doesn't have to eat that much but I guess I'm in the WW mentality of "you have to eat your calories". I don't know which of us is right. At any rate, he tends to always be about 500 calories below his goal before exercising. I use full fat cheeses, mayo, yogurt and anything else I can think of to raise his calories but he is still short. I've thought about putting cookies, candy bar, etc in his lunch bag but he won't eat it because he says he can't. He's driving me nuts. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to sneak extra calories in? Or does he even need to eat those calories?
It is up to him really to decide if he wants to eat or drink more calories.
Is he hungry? Is he getting enough nutrients? Does he have enough energy, etc? Is he working out heavily?
If everything seems okay then he is probably fine not eating all of his calories.
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I don't know his stats of course, but if you mean he's coming in around 1950 instead of 2450: probably not a real concern. If his goal is set to 1 pound per week, keep in mind that men burn more so can handle a higher deficit than women typically. There may be days he is hungrier, so perhaps have snacks on hand for those situations. Fruit, nuts, etc.
And in general for meal planning: its about portions. I deal with this for hubby & I, though for different reasons. I'm at maintenance & he is trying to lose ~60 pounds. So our daily nutrition needs are similar. BUT I eat 3 meals & have several snacks a day. He'll eat a small breakfast, small lunch, then a big dinner and maybe popcorn before bed. So typically, for dinner I'll have 1 chicken breast to his 2. And he'll get a big portion of sides, veggies, etc. It would be harder, I imagine, if we ate more meals together though. So hang in there!0 -
Ps-nothing wrong, in my opinion, with you taking the lead on this. In most relationships each spouse is responsible for different areas. And while you are the lead on meal planning, I imagine he handles other responsibilities. Nothing in what you said indicates he is oblivious - actually it sounds like he is informed because he is choosing not to overeat on candy, etc. (Though candy in general: not a bad thing, just depends on how it fits overall.)0
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My husband and I are both doing MFP but meal planning is really difficult. I get about 1450 calories a day but my husband gets 2450 a day. I cook dinner and make lunches while I'm making dinner. While I'm doing that I just track for both of us because it is most convenient. It's not difficult for me to get my calories each day but it is really difficult for my husband. He tells me he doesn't have to eat that much but I guess I'm in the WW mentality of "you have to eat your calories". I don't know which of us is right. At any rate, he tends to always be about 500 calories below his goal before exercising. I use full fat cheeses, mayo, yogurt and anything else I can think of to raise his calories but he is still short. I've thought about putting cookies, candy bar, etc in his lunch bag but he won't eat it because he says he can't. He's driving me nuts. Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to sneak extra calories in? Or does he even need to eat those calories?
2000 calories is fine for a bloke - if he feels weak or grumpy he can grab more
but I don't know why you're babying him but thats your relationship0 -
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I have the same situation at home. DH and I are both tracking calories and he needs more than I do. I don't worry about his intake though, that's his problem. He's not nearly as accurate as I am and he doesn't get why I want to weigh everything out. But he's also never been obese (slightly overweight at his worst) and isn't losing the weight that he wants to, so whatever, that's on him.
Anyway, the only meal that we share is dinner. We do our own thing for breakfast and lunch (even on the weekends) and dinner we have together. So he has higher calorie meals for those two meals. Sometimes he gets bigger portions of what I'm eating for dinner than I do. Sometimes he'll add a dinner roll or extra cheese to it. But really, the majority of the time we eat exactly the same dinner. Then he fills the rest of his calories with snacking. He's a big snacker. I could probably eat the exact same meals as he does and hit my calorie goal, but I wouldn't be able to snack. He grazes constantly.
Worry about yourself, let your husband do his own thing.0 -
If you are the lead food maker and lunch packer, that's fine. But when it gets to the point where he won't eat an extra treat and ends up under his calorie, that is his problem not yours. It's the same as when you have children. Your job is to make food available, not to force them to eat it. If he gets hungry, he will eat. If he doesn't, oh well.0
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So please explain how he got fat in the first place if he doesn't eat?0
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my wife and I both are doing MFP and we are about the same off in terms of calories. We both generally eat the same things (just easier so let the lady take care of her man). I just double mine up sometimes and I snack throughout the day. I take some meat and cheese with me to work or I eat a P3 from Oscar Mayer (sometimes both). By the end of the day I have had close 2100 calories before working out. It's fine if he doesn't eat it though. As long as every once in a while he does eat it so that it shocks the body and keeps the body burning.0
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This.MissyMissy18 wrote: »Why are you even worrying about his calories? He's a big boy. Let him worry about it.
He can have a nice big bowl of ice cream, a beer, and scoop of PB! Voila, over 500 calories.
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What is it with you Americans and PB?
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The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.0
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He is an adult and he needs to take on his own responsibilities . That is great that you are helping him but sometimes we need to help ourselves. Your not his mother and what can happen he could end up blaming you why he isn't losing or gaining .You want to be his wife not his mother.0
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what others are saying, hes a big boy ect.
so you know- i'd be pissed if i found out my SO was sneaking food into my lunch to raise my cal count, even if it was done with good intentions. some people have success with low cal deiting, and 2000 isnt all that low for the majority of people.
just make sure he lifts or he'll lose a fair amount of muscle at that rate0 -
L O L !
so you know- i'd be pissed if i found out my SO was sneaking food into my lunch to raise my cal count, even if it was done with good intentions. some people have success with low cal deiting, and 2000 isnt all that low for the majority of people.
Said people that have luck, usually yo-yo. Why wouldn't she want to inform her husband to be doing something sustainable?
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I do the same thing with my husband since I do the cooking and it's easy just to log both our meals...he is in the military so he works out about 3 times a day and sometimes forgets to eat lunch, so breakfast and dinner are really important in our house...generally when I am portioning out of him at do more that I would for myself...I add butter when he needs more calories...extra dressing here and there...adding a few hard boiled eggs to his salad...I also add protein powder or egg whites to his oatmeal. Whenever he needs extra calories I just add a few higher calorie things to his meal so that he isn't eating too few calories, is still healthy, fits his macros, and tastes good.0
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GuitarJerry wrote: »lol. Are you his mother?
Um. This is what I thought too.
My hubby can have many more calories than me too, and I also cook most of the grub around here (mainly because I'm a planner supreme rather than he doesn't know how to). I cook the same food for everyone and we all have different amounts. Outside the prepared family meals (so that's dinner and lunch at weekends) what he eats is up to him. The fridge is there and everything in it is healthy. I spend enough time fixing my own meals and packing DD's lunch every day. DH can do his own, logging and weighing as he goes along to make sure it fits his targets (if that's what he wants) or just because he finds it interesting to see what's in his food.0 -
L O L !
so you know- i'd be pissed if i found out my SO was sneaking food into my lunch to raise my cal count, even if it was done with good intentions. some people have success with low cal deiting, and 2000 isnt all that low for the majority of people.
Said people that have luck, usually yo-yo. Why wouldn't she want to inform her husband to be doing something sustainable?
to inform is one thing (and a good thing), but she said "sneak" extra cals in which i took to imply it would be without him knowing, reading back now i see she could have meant it just as adding it in
also people usually yo-yo period, i havent really seen anything but anecdotal that says low cal dieting is much less successful long term than a small deficit0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.
She's not complaining about tracking for her husband. Learn to read. She's asking how she can help him reach his goals. I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, when you commit to someone for life, you support them in anything they want to achieve no matter what it takes. If that means she takes the more convenient road and logs his meals for him, then that's what she'll do.
OP-I am in the same boat as you. I log everything for my husband. I weigh out his food and tell him what he can and can't eat based on what he's craving that day. I'm not bossy about it and we discuss every meal. I do this because HE asked me to help him and is willing to do whatever it takes to lose the weight and become healthy for his family. I figure, if he can do the work, I can pitch in and help. I have lost 54 lbs over the last year and a half so he feels that I probably have the best advise for him and would know what's best for him in this journey he just started. He's lost over 30 lbs so far in 3 months and is doing great. Neither of us view this as babying him or holding his hand. I would rather help him in any way he asks than have him develop a disease from his weight, or worse...die, and regret never pushing him to do something about it, or "hold his hand", when he asked me to.0 -
madhatter2013 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.
She's not complaining about tracking for her husband. Learn to read. She's asking how she can help him reach his goals. I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, when you commit to someone for life, you support them in anything they want to achieve no matter what it takes. If that means she takes the more convenient road and logs his meals for him, then that's what she'll do.
OP-I am in the same boat as you. I log everything for my husband. I weigh out his food and tell him what he can and can't eat based on what he's craving that day. I'm not bossy about it and we discuss every meal. I do this because HE asked me to help him and is willing to do whatever it takes to lose the weight and become healthy for his family. I figure, if he can do the work, I can pitch in and help. I have lost 54 lbs over the last year and a half so he feels that I probably have the best advise for him and would know what's best for him in this journey he just started. He's lost over 30 lbs so far in 3 months and is doing great. Neither of us view this as babying him or holding his hand. I would rather help him in any way he asks than have him develop a disease from his weight, or worse...die, and regret never pushing him to do something about it, or "hold his hand", when he asked me to.
Its one thing to make the meals, but to log them for him? No, that's ridiculous. Does she need to cut up his meat and feed it to him too?
And your husband isn't doing the work...all he is doing is eating what is set in front of him. He's losing weight because he apparently only eats the food you give him.
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