Two people with large difference in caloric needs
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He is an adult and he needs to take on his own responsibilities . That is great that you are helping him but sometimes we need to help ourselves. Your not his mother and what can happen he could end up blaming you why he isn't losing or gaining .You want to be his wife not his mother.0
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what others are saying, hes a big boy ect.
so you know- i'd be pissed if i found out my SO was sneaking food into my lunch to raise my cal count, even if it was done with good intentions. some people have success with low cal deiting, and 2000 isnt all that low for the majority of people.
just make sure he lifts or he'll lose a fair amount of muscle at that rate0 -
L O L !
so you know- i'd be pissed if i found out my SO was sneaking food into my lunch to raise my cal count, even if it was done with good intentions. some people have success with low cal deiting, and 2000 isnt all that low for the majority of people.
Said people that have luck, usually yo-yo. Why wouldn't she want to inform her husband to be doing something sustainable?
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I do the same thing with my husband since I do the cooking and it's easy just to log both our meals...he is in the military so he works out about 3 times a day and sometimes forgets to eat lunch, so breakfast and dinner are really important in our house...generally when I am portioning out of him at do more that I would for myself...I add butter when he needs more calories...extra dressing here and there...adding a few hard boiled eggs to his salad...I also add protein powder or egg whites to his oatmeal. Whenever he needs extra calories I just add a few higher calorie things to his meal so that he isn't eating too few calories, is still healthy, fits his macros, and tastes good.0
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GuitarJerry wrote: »lol. Are you his mother?
Um. This is what I thought too.
My hubby can have many more calories than me too, and I also cook most of the grub around here (mainly because I'm a planner supreme rather than he doesn't know how to). I cook the same food for everyone and we all have different amounts. Outside the prepared family meals (so that's dinner and lunch at weekends) what he eats is up to him. The fridge is there and everything in it is healthy. I spend enough time fixing my own meals and packing DD's lunch every day. DH can do his own, logging and weighing as he goes along to make sure it fits his targets (if that's what he wants) or just because he finds it interesting to see what's in his food.0 -
L O L !
so you know- i'd be pissed if i found out my SO was sneaking food into my lunch to raise my cal count, even if it was done with good intentions. some people have success with low cal deiting, and 2000 isnt all that low for the majority of people.
Said people that have luck, usually yo-yo. Why wouldn't she want to inform her husband to be doing something sustainable?
to inform is one thing (and a good thing), but she said "sneak" extra cals in which i took to imply it would be without him knowing, reading back now i see she could have meant it just as adding it in
also people usually yo-yo period, i havent really seen anything but anecdotal that says low cal dieting is much less successful long term than a small deficit0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.
She's not complaining about tracking for her husband. Learn to read. She's asking how she can help him reach his goals. I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, when you commit to someone for life, you support them in anything they want to achieve no matter what it takes. If that means she takes the more convenient road and logs his meals for him, then that's what she'll do.
OP-I am in the same boat as you. I log everything for my husband. I weigh out his food and tell him what he can and can't eat based on what he's craving that day. I'm not bossy about it and we discuss every meal. I do this because HE asked me to help him and is willing to do whatever it takes to lose the weight and become healthy for his family. I figure, if he can do the work, I can pitch in and help. I have lost 54 lbs over the last year and a half so he feels that I probably have the best advise for him and would know what's best for him in this journey he just started. He's lost over 30 lbs so far in 3 months and is doing great. Neither of us view this as babying him or holding his hand. I would rather help him in any way he asks than have him develop a disease from his weight, or worse...die, and regret never pushing him to do something about it, or "hold his hand", when he asked me to.0 -
madhatter2013 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.
She's not complaining about tracking for her husband. Learn to read. She's asking how she can help him reach his goals. I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, when you commit to someone for life, you support them in anything they want to achieve no matter what it takes. If that means she takes the more convenient road and logs his meals for him, then that's what she'll do.
OP-I am in the same boat as you. I log everything for my husband. I weigh out his food and tell him what he can and can't eat based on what he's craving that day. I'm not bossy about it and we discuss every meal. I do this because HE asked me to help him and is willing to do whatever it takes to lose the weight and become healthy for his family. I figure, if he can do the work, I can pitch in and help. I have lost 54 lbs over the last year and a half so he feels that I probably have the best advise for him and would know what's best for him in this journey he just started. He's lost over 30 lbs so far in 3 months and is doing great. Neither of us view this as babying him or holding his hand. I would rather help him in any way he asks than have him develop a disease from his weight, or worse...die, and regret never pushing him to do something about it, or "hold his hand", when he asked me to.
Its one thing to make the meals, but to log them for him? No, that's ridiculous. Does she need to cut up his meat and feed it to him too?
And your husband isn't doing the work...all he is doing is eating what is set in front of him. He's losing weight because he apparently only eats the food you give him.
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L O L !
so you know- i'd be pissed if i found out my SO was sneaking food into my lunch to raise my cal count, even if it was done with good intentions. some people have success with low cal deiting, and 2000 isnt all that low for the majority of people.
Said people that have luck, usually yo-yo. Why wouldn't she want to inform her husband to be doing something sustainable?
to inform is one thing (and a good thing), but she said "sneak" extra cals in which i took to imply it would be without him knowing, reading back now i see she could have meant it just as adding it in
also people usually yo-yo period, i havent really seen anything but anecdotal that says low cal dieting is much less successful long term than a small deficit
Well if he logged the food himself it wouldn't be sneaking. Unless if she crushed up that cookie into other food and didn't log it, that would be sneaking. He would know whether or not he ate the cookie.
OP - You can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink. If he isn't logging then he isn't seeing the warnings or most liking seeing posts in the community forums. He will have to learn on his own why its important he eats more than you if he's not listening to you. He will have to do that part for himself.
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Hubby & I have different schedules. He sometimes get home from work around 10-10:30pm, and I try to have a decent meal ready for him shortly after. Not because I'm his mother, but because its something I want to do to make his day a little easier/better. When it comes to logging, sometimes he'll 'copy' my food diary to his day, then adjust quantities. Some days he'll just hand me his tablet. Obviously if this was a problem for me, I'd tell him so & he would have to deal with his own meal prep & logging. And some nights he gets home late enough that dealing with it himself is his only option.
Other times, he does things for me. I work on Sundays - he doesn't. And you know what? Its very nice to come home around 8pm and he's gotten dinner ready, kept up with nutritional info, etc. Marriage is about give & take and finding that balance. I don't quite get all the attitude directed at someone for trying to help her husband. Keep in mind we only got part of the story - and there are likely many things he does for her, to make her days easier/lighter.0 -
Same thing with my bf but he eats as much as I eat 1200-1300 calories. I just remind him that his muscles are just getting burned off and essentially he's wasting his time at the gym if he's not going to eat right.0
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madhatter2013 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.
She's not complaining about tracking for her husband. Learn to read. She's asking how she can help him reach his goals. I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, when you commit to someone for life, you support them in anything they want to achieve no matter what it takes. If that means she takes the more convenient road and logs his meals for him, then that's what she'll do.
OP-I am in the same boat as you. I log everything for my husband. I weigh out his food and tell him what he can and can't eat based on what he's craving that day. I'm not bossy about it and we discuss every meal. I do this because HE asked me to help him and is willing to do whatever it takes to lose the weight and become healthy for his family. I figure, if he can do the work, I can pitch in and help. I have lost 54 lbs over the last year and a half so he feels that I probably have the best advise for him and would know what's best for him in this journey he just started. He's lost over 30 lbs so far in 3 months and is doing great. Neither of us view this as babying him or holding his hand. I would rather help him in any way he asks than have him develop a disease from his weight, or worse...die, and regret never pushing him to do something about it, or "hold his hand", when he asked me to.
Its one thing to make the meals, but to log them for him? No, that's ridiculous. Does she need to cut up his meat and feed it to him too?
Only if he doesn't already know how. I log all my husbands meals because when I make the meals, the barcodes are right there in front of me and usually he isn't. Don't get me wrong, he knows how to do these things all by himself, so yes he can do it himself in case I am no longer around for some reason. It's just easier and faster cleanup for me to do it for now.0 -
madhatter2013 wrote: »madhatter2013 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.
She's not complaining about tracking for her husband. Learn to read. She's asking how she can help him reach his goals. I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, when you commit to someone for life, you support them in anything they want to achieve no matter what it takes. If that means she takes the more convenient road and logs his meals for him, then that's what she'll do.
OP-I am in the same boat as you. I log everything for my husband. I weigh out his food and tell him what he can and can't eat based on what he's craving that day. I'm not bossy about it and we discuss every meal. I do this because HE asked me to help him and is willing to do whatever it takes to lose the weight and become healthy for his family. I figure, if he can do the work, I can pitch in and help. I have lost 54 lbs over the last year and a half so he feels that I probably have the best advise for him and would know what's best for him in this journey he just started. He's lost over 30 lbs so far in 3 months and is doing great. Neither of us view this as babying him or holding his hand. I would rather help him in any way he asks than have him develop a disease from his weight, or worse...die, and regret never pushing him to do something about it, or "hold his hand", when he asked me to.
Its one thing to make the meals, but to log them for him? No, that's ridiculous. Does she need to cut up his meat and feed it to him too?
Only if he doesn't already know how. I log all my husbands meals because when I make the meals, the barcodes are right there in front of me and usually he isn't. Don't get me wrong, he knows how to do these things all by himself, so yes he can do it himself in case I am no longer around for some reason. It's just easier and faster cleanup for me to do it for now.
That was my concern is that without you, he doesn't know what is going into it and he isn't learning on his own these methods.0 -
madhatter2013 wrote: »madhatter2013 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »The things wives do for there husband and then complain about doing it.
She's not complaining about tracking for her husband. Learn to read. She's asking how she can help him reach his goals. I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from, when you commit to someone for life, you support them in anything they want to achieve no matter what it takes. If that means she takes the more convenient road and logs his meals for him, then that's what she'll do.
OP-I am in the same boat as you. I log everything for my husband. I weigh out his food and tell him what he can and can't eat based on what he's craving that day. I'm not bossy about it and we discuss every meal. I do this because HE asked me to help him and is willing to do whatever it takes to lose the weight and become healthy for his family. I figure, if he can do the work, I can pitch in and help. I have lost 54 lbs over the last year and a half so he feels that I probably have the best advise for him and would know what's best for him in this journey he just started. He's lost over 30 lbs so far in 3 months and is doing great. Neither of us view this as babying him or holding his hand. I would rather help him in any way he asks than have him develop a disease from his weight, or worse...die, and regret never pushing him to do something about it, or "hold his hand", when he asked me to.
Its one thing to make the meals, but to log them for him? No, that's ridiculous. Does she need to cut up his meat and feed it to him too?
Only if he doesn't already know how. I log all my husbands meals because when I make the meals, the barcodes are right there in front of me and usually he isn't. Don't get me wrong, he knows how to do these things all by himself, so yes he can do it himself in case I am no longer around for some reason. It's just easier and faster cleanup for me to do it for now.
That was my concern is that without you, he doesn't know what is going into it and he isn't learning on his own these methods.
Oh no, I make sure he knows how to do these things. I am going to study abroad over spring break, so that'll be the real test.
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MissyMissy18 wrote: »Why are you even worrying about his calories? He's a big boy. Let him worry about it.
That's what I'm thinking too. He needs to be in charge of his weight loss journey, including tracking, even though it sounds like you are the wonderful cook and do the lunch preparations. 0 -
My husband is 6'4 and I'm 5'0, it's hard, but I only worry about what goes in my body, I try to cook healthy dinners, and eat my calories I need and track everything, he eats what he wants, ice cream everyday. I live vicariously thru him and enjoy watching him eat all the calories I'm not eating.0
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MissyMissy18 wrote: »Why are you even worrying about his calories? He's a big boy. Let him worry about it.
That's what I'm thinking too. He needs to be in charge of his weight loss journey, including tracking, even though it sounds like you are the wonderful cook and do the lunch preparations.
I agree.
Although its nice to have a weight loss partner, weight loss and maintenance is really an individual effort. The motivation and consistency has to come from within, not from another person. Too often do people rely on someone else, then fail because that person gets to their goal weight faster, or more often, quits. It needs to be about personal accountability.0
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