Can we find a way to help my little girl stay motivated?
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There are two books I would suggest by Tom Venuto: Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle (currently only an e-book but I believe it is being published as a physical book later in the year) and The Body Fat Solution.
Motivation is not something I can advise about, but the books do cover motivation and goal setting as well as a lot of material on reducing body fat. Motivation probably has to come from within, but knowing "how to do it" helps - even with the knowledge of how to lose weight the right way I still gained 100 pounds after losing motivation, but the motivation returned when I said to my best mate "I should really lose some weight" and his response was "You know how to do it".
The books also apply to both sexes, and some sections might be more "aha!" than others depending on the person, so he probably will get something from the books too if he flips through one.
As far as him not knowing how to be supportive, most people wouldn't know how to be. Losing weight is different to other types of things, some people need someone to listen to them, others need someone to confirm what they are doing is right, others need someone to give them a kick in the butt, others need someone who has succeeded, others need someone who is where they are now doing the same thing, others need someone to constantly ask them about their food and exercise, others need someone who has been in a worse position and got to where they want to get... assuming his problem is he doesn't know how to be supportive your one advantage is that he could probably be a pair of ears, a butt kicker, or a nagger.
Determine the type of support/accountability you need from him, and then determine if he is the right "accountability partner". It might be, for example, he won't feel comfortable challenging you a certain way, in which case someone else might be better - the same as you might not be the best choice for him if he started weight lifting and he needed "someone who has been where I am and now look how I want to look".
As with support and accountability, you can't really motivate someone without really knowing them. By knowing someone well enough, you can pick someone that you think will be inspirational to them (no guarantees) and inspiration itself might be enough for motivation.0 -
Just reading this now. I am the daughter. Thanks to those who have added me and said such kind words. I was feeling alone and to be honest I didnt want to bother people with my problems and I want to thank my mom for being so supportive with this (means the world to me) and this actually makes me feel more motivated to prove to some that people can get a lot of something like this. I know I am going to have my off days like today but i know i can have way more like last week which I ended up losing 7 pounds from working so hard. I need to find a way to balance my life with this and I havent quite figured it out yet but... I will.
And as for my bf and I we are great together its just he doesnt know how to support me fully. I think he wants to but he cant figured out the right way to do it.
Okay, so can you have your mom call my mom and arrange a playdate 867-5309? Maybe we can go jogging together! And then maybe my mother-in-law can call your mother-in-law and arrange a bowling night for our husbands. And then all the grandma's can watch all the grandkids. The end.
P.S. My mom's name is Jenny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axLRUszuu9I
K.I.T. :glasses: :flowerforyou:0 -
If motivation came solely from within, society wouldn't have need for support groups.
I think it's completely asinine to say she has to want it herself before anything else works. Obviously she WANTS it, she's doing zumba and trying her best to make good choices. The problem is her time management.
Support can make or break someone's motivation. I have seriously wanted to lose weight for years (I was suicidal for many years too because of my weight and horrible self-esteem). I developed binge eating disorder and body dismorphic disorder and nothing I ever did seemed to work which only worsened those conditions. Then I started dating my new boyfriend. He's supported me through everything, comforted me when I was depressed, and always told me how proud he was of my efforts. He's never said any discouraging things and his support has kept me going. More than that, without my zumba friends, I wouldn't find zumba as much fun and I wouldn't have stuck with it this long (hell im even going after my teaching certification!!)
Support. Means. Everything.
Without support, there is no success.
Not having support is setting yourself up for failure.0 -
What does that even mean? With an apostrophe?0
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Haha! Racism? What does that have to do with what we are discussing here? I can guarantee that I'm not racist as I am raising a biracial child, but whatever. As Bambi said, if you don't have something nice to say don't say nothing at all. The woman who started this thread has the right to ask for help if she chooses, not hear cut the apron string and things of that nature.
Did...did you....just quote Bambi?0 -
Jessie is a friend,
yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine...0 -
You got a problem with Bambi???!!! But really, it's true.0
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Haha! Racism? What does that have to do with what we are discussing here? I can guarantee that I'm not racist as I am raising a biracial child, but whatever. As Bambi said, if you don't have something nice to say don't say nothing at all. The woman who started this thread has the right to ask for help if she chooses, not hear cut the apron string and things of that nature.
Actually, I'm pretty sure it was Thumper, not Bambi. I think the concern was asking for help for a grown child who was already on the site, but had not asked for help herself and airing her daughters "dirty laundry" on a public board. With the internet you have to be prepared for people who don't sugar coat things. Ask a question and you're almost guaranteed to get 5000 different opinions and many of them will be blunt.
I wish the OP and her daughter all the best and hope the boyfriend in question will get on board with being supportive.0 -
Jessie is a friend,
yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine...
But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define...0 -
What does that even mean? With an apostrophe?
It's "your car/house/opinion", but it's "you're awesome/wrong/changing a light bulb".0 -
Your right, it was Thumper. My apologies for any confusion.0
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I understand what an apostrophe is. Not sure where I missed that.0
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Jessie is a friend,
yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine...
But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define...
Jessie's got himself a girl,
and I want to make her mine----0 -
I have never seen such rude people in my entire life. Maybe coming from the south I'm not accustomed to people being so hateful over someone wanting help. Motivation from others can help. I would be happy to help anyone that I can in any way. I guess it just depends on how your raised though.
Your definition of rude must vary from what most people understand it as. I don't see a single rude person. I see people telling the truth but I don't think telling the truth should be considered rude.
I think thats the problem, people want a sugarcoated answer instead of having the truth told to them. Talk about being thin skinned.0 -
Jessie is a friend,
yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine...
But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define...
Jessie's got himself a girl,
and I want to make her mine----
And she's watching him with those eyes..
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it!0 -
I have never seen such rude people in my entire life. Maybe coming from the south I'm not accustomed to people being so hateful over someone wanting help. Motivation from others can help. I would be happy to help anyone that I can in any way. I guess it just depends on how your raised though.
Your definition of rude must vary from what most people understand it as. I don't see a single rude person. I see people telling the truth but I don't think telling the truth should be considered rude.
I think thats the problem, people want a sugarcoated answer instead of having the truth told to them. Talk about being thin skinned.
I am reasonably certain 3 out of 10 people in this thread are the same person! Just a hunch, no creeping went into this theory, I will leave it to others to flesh it out.
ETA: to fix my apostrophe...LMFAO!0 -
I have never seen such rude people in my entire life. Maybe coming from the south I'm not accustomed to people being so hateful over someone wanting help. Motivation from others can help. I would be happy to help anyone that I can in any way. I guess it just depends on how your raised though.
I guess it just depends on how *you're* raised though.
That's where you are missing an apostrophe.0 -
Just eat the blossoms! That's the good stuff.0
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She should also be tuned into YouTube where she can see VLoggers, their testimonies, get results and feedback, as well as "How to" recipes and exercises.0
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Hahaha! This is entertainment.0
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Hahaha! This is entertainment.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I have never seen such rude people in my entire life. Maybe coming from the south I'm not accustomed to people being so hateful
too easy ....
*snort*0 -
I know, I know! It's just such an easy target with the southern jokes. But the fact still remains that people on here are rude. This isn't the first time I've seen it.0
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I know, I know! It's just such an easy target with the southern jokes. But the fact still remains that people on here are rude. This isn't the first time I've seen it.
There are plenty of examples of rude around here, but in this case you made a big deal out of nothing.
But you are pretty, so I forgive you. But then you misquoted Bambi, so I am on the fence again. :ohwell:0 -
Haha! I have just seen it too many times and kept my mouth shut. Plus everybody here is in bed and I'm bored. Sorry about the Bambi quote, my kids prefer Toy Story0
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Some are. But mostly, they're being blunt. And honest. And not telling people exactly what they want to hear. I didn't even see any rude comments. I think you need to thicken up your skin a bit. If someone asks a question, people are going to give ALL different ways to look at the situation along with different solutions. Not all of them involve hugging it out and fluffy bunnies and stuff.I know, I know! It's just such an easy target with the southern jokes. But the fact still remains that people on here are rude. This isn't the first time I've seen it.0 -
I have never seen such rude people in my entire life. Maybe coming from the south I'm not accustomed to people being so hateful
too easy ....
I can be a buddy.....0 -
hahahaha...0
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