How often do you eat out during weight-loss phase?
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Have her find some recipes that she thinks sounds yummy. Have her help make the food.
idk. It's hard for me to relate to your daughter because when I was growing up we didn't have a lot of food, and I knew that I should be happy to have a meal. That said, I still went through a "no tomato sauce" phase, but I just ate plain noodles then.
I only really eat out on the weekends I visit my BF, which is every other weekend.0 -
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I'd never presume to tell someone how to parent their children. But have you thought about the lessons that you're teaching her? Is that really the message that you want to communicate to your 10-year-old, that it's okay to turn her nose up at so much perfectly good food and that eating out that often is healthy? Not only for her nutritional needs, but also for her financial health as an adult, I'd think it would be better in the long run for her to learn healthy eating and cooking at home, and you can get her involved in the food prep and cooking so she learns these skills for life.
As for you, why 1200 calories/day? Sounds like if you have 65 pounds to lose, you're bigger than is reasonable for someone who's eating such a low calorie goal. (1200 is usually only appropriate for smaller, older women). If you set your calorie goal to 2lbs/week, try setting it to something more reasonable, like 1 or 1.5 per week, and see what MFP gives you. You should have more calories than that.0 -
Twice a month in average. Too expensive, and typically we only eat out when there's something specific that I feel like eating, because if I'm going to have chicken and veggies... I can make that at home for much less money.
Get your daughter involved in the cooking process IMO. She won't let herself starve. You're not doing her any favor by giving in.0 -
Some months, none at all. Some months, twice. I usually go for sushi, though. Rare is the instance I go for other things. And when I do, it's gonna be for a cheat day.0
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The OP says her daughter is underweight, and actually starving herself (in terms of calories, protein, etc.) when she eats what she chooses at home (limited fruits/vegetables). That's what led her medical team to suggest such an unorthodox eating plan. Tough situation.She won't let herself starve. You're not doing her any favor by giving in.0 -
CA_Underdog wrote: »
The OP says her daughter is underweight, and actually starving herself (in terms of calories, protein, etc.) when she eats what she chooses at home (limited fruits/vegetables). That's what led her medical team to suggest such an unorthodox eating plan. Tough situation.She won't let herself starve. You're not doing her any favor by giving in.
Yeah I get that... but still. I'd probably get take out for her and make myself something at home, personally.0 -
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I have cut way back on eating out. you are right it is too hard to count calories etc. when I do eat out I try to make the best low cal choices I can and track to the best of my ability. The good part is MFP even has restaurant food in the database so some things you can tell better what you had.
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Do you know how to cook? How would you be a failure? You would be a WINNER. Cut down on eating out. Make it either a last resort or a reward, not the NORM. Not going to say eating out is bad but you can make better options at home.0
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This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.0 -
It varies, but probably 1-2 times a month in a restaurant, and 2-3 times a month at the home of friends/family.
This is the same regardless of whether anyone in our house is trying to lose weight or not.0 -
CA_Underdog wrote: »The OP says her daughter is underweight, and actually starving herself (in terms of calories, protein, etc.) when she eats what she chooses at home (limited fruits/vegetables). That's what led her medical team to suggest such an unorthodox eating plan. Tough situation.
OP, was the plan to eat out 5 days a week suggested by your daughter's doctors? Or is it just something you've been doing in the meantime until you can work with her dietitian and pediatrician to come up with a plan?
If it was suggested by her doctors, well, I wouldn't presume to know better than them. Sounds a bit unorthodox, but hey. If that's the case, yeah, I'd suggest eating something beforehand at home for yourself so you won't be so tempted.
If it's something you've been doing as a temporary measure, then there may well be better options to help your daughter with her food issues. Most doctors and dietitians will be more likely to suggest home-cooked food, I'd imagine, for a wide variety of reasons.
Just make sure that your calorie counting isn't giving your daughter more unhealthy ideas about food. She shouldn't be worried about eating too few calories, and kids are more apt to do as we do than as we say.0 -
hollyrayburn wrote: »This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.
OP, I'm going to give my honest opinion - then back away from this thread before I'm flamed: I think your 10 year old daughter is manilpulating you. Why should she eat your home cooking when she knows that if she refuses you'll take her to Applebees (or wherever)? Maybe her picky eating is a result of an underlying issue? Is she doing anything else to seek your attention? Has there been any sudden changes in her life?
In my day if we didn't eat what was put in front of us, we went to bed without any dinner. Case closed.
Also - you must make a lot of money to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle where you can eat out 5+ times a week. I'm jealous!
OK - I'm leaving now
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Sophsmother wrote: »My daughter and I eat out for dinner 4 or 5 nights a week. She actually needs to gain about 5 lbs, so I find it easier to take her out to her favorite places so I know she'll eat something filling.
For me, it's been really tough. I can find something healthy to eat at most places we go to, but accounting for every calorie is tough, and sticking to my diet is even tougher when tempted by so much food. You just don't know exactly how much something weighs or what other things are going into the meal that aren't listed on the menu (butter, oil, etc.). I've been tempted to bring my food scale with me so I can make sure that the 6-ounce filet does indeed weigh 6 ounces.
Do any of you find it tough to go out to eat when you're actively in the weight-loss phase? I'm on 1,200 calories a day with about 65 lbs to lose, so I don't have much wiggle room with calories. Should I cut back on eating out for a bit? I feel like I should be able to handle eating out, but I've woken up too many mornings with swollen fingers from too much sodium and all the other great things that eating out can bring on. I'm not a failure if I can only eat at home for a while, am I?
Seems like you already know what to do but you want "us" to tell you...
If you're daughter needs to gain and you need to lose the best thing for both of you is for you to eat at home so that both can accurately track what each is doing. Assuming your daughter is old enough since "she needs to gain weight" she can cook for herself too.
You can fit in eating out too... but you don't seem to know how to accurately track anything so for you I would say not to. I would suggest doing some research and learn how to track food properly.0 -
tracyannk28 wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.
OP, I'm going to give my honest opinion - then back away from this thread before I'm flamed: I think your 10 year old daughter is manilpulating you. Why should she eat your home cooking when she knows that if she refuses you'll take her to Applebees (or wherever)? Maybe her picky eating is a result of an underlying issue? Is she doing anything else to seek your attention? Has there been any sudden changes in her life?
In my day if we didn't eat what was put in front of us, we went to bed without any dinner. Case closed.
Also - you must make a lot of money to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle where you can eat out 5+ times a week. I'm jealous!
OK - I'm leaving now
*fistbump*0 -
I guess it is a lot different now a days. When I was growing up we eat what was cooked or we just weren't hungry. Now every parent is different, but I be damned if I take my 13 year old to get fast food or out to a restaurant 4-5 days a week just because he didn't like what I was cooking at home. I wasn't allowed to leave the table unless my meal was finished or I had to go to bed.
I don't mean to be rude, but giving in doesn't help. Now there is food that your daughter likes I am sure. She shouldn't have the option to go out to get what she wants 4-5 times a week. She is the kid.
IMO giving in lead to this.0 -
Totally agree with this. I was just trying to hold back my thoughts, but you said what I was thinking.tracyannk28 wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.
OP, I'm going to give my honest opinion - then back away from this thread before I'm flamed: I think your 10 year old daughter is manilpulating you. Why should she eat your home cooking when she knows that if she refuses you'll take her to Applebees (or wherever)? Maybe her picky eating is a result of an underlying issue? Is she doing anything else to seek your attention? Has there been any sudden changes in her life?
In my day if we didn't eat what was put in front of us, we went to bed without any dinner. Case closed.
Also - you must make a lot of money to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle where you can eat out 5+ times a week. I'm jealous!
OK - I'm leaving now
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(When I was a young girl & grandma was low on groceries)
Me: "I'm hungry! What did you make?"
Grandma: "bean & egg tacos"
Me: "Gross, I don't want that"
Grandma: "You are NOT hungry then"
An hour later...
Me: "Grandma, where are the tacos?"
Grandma: "On the stove"
Damn... I miss her bean & egg tacos.0 -
On the picky daughter -- uh, you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt by not being a firm parent now. She should be able to suck it up and eat. Eating out 5x/week just because your little precious is too precious to eat what is put in front of her is bs.
On the eating out in general -- you probably are getting some hidden calories and hidden other things you may not need (like excess sodium). It's horrific the sodium levels are in some foods. By the way, this isn't doing you or your daughter any favours in learning to like foods that aren't loaded in sodium and are more natural, because you're training her tastebuds to expect a certain level.
I started my weightloss journey two years ago at 300 pounds. I've lost 123 pounds. I did most of that while on the road 70% of the time, which means I ate out a lot. It is doable. But I found it was better when I could get a hotel with a fridge and microwave and get food more under my control via a grocery store.
So yes - you can do it and do it successfully. But I don't think you're doing yourself or your daughter any favours.0 -
hollyrayburn wrote: »This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.
Agreed.
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Sophsmother wrote: »I eat out at least 3x/week and have never found it difficult or that it impedes weight loss. We go often enough that it isn't a big deal. I rarely (as in maybe 3-4 times a year) get a dessert or appetizer. I generally go for baked or grilled meat, salad, and some sort of veggie side(s).
How old is your daughter?
My daughter is 10 and is an extremely picky eater. No matter what I cook for her, which is usually something she has picked, she takes 2 bites then hates it and asks for something else. When we go out, she doesn't do that, so we started eating out 5x a week, which lead to a nice 15lb gain for me since Christmas. so for the last two weeks I've been doing 1,200 calories a day to lose the extra 65 lbs I have to lose. But the eating out is torture for me this early in the game.
I meet with my dietician tomorrow, so I'll lean on her to get us back on track.
Can I ask what she eats for lunches at school? Do you send something, or does she eat what the school cooked? (or do you homeschool?).
Im not super good at just throwing together a good dinner with no directions, but following a recipe is really easy. It can be fun to let a kid that age pick a recipe, go shopping, and then cook the meal either with help or without.
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Totally agree with this. I was just trying to hold back my thoughts, but you said what I was thinking.tracyannk28 wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.
OP, I'm going to give my honest opinion - then back away from this thread before I'm flamed: I think your 10 year old daughter is manilpulating you. Why should she eat your home cooking when she knows that if she refuses you'll take her to Applebees (or wherever)? Maybe her picky eating is a result of an underlying issue? Is she doing anything else to seek your attention? Has there been any sudden changes in her life?
In my day if we didn't eat what was put in front of us, we went to bed without any dinner. Case closed.
Also - you must make a lot of money to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle where you can eat out 5+ times a week. I'm jealous!
OK - I'm leaving now
whew...I thought I was going to get my butt handed to me. Nice to see a few of us are raising our kids 'old school'
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Absolutely. My son's only choice is every Friday night and when mommy is too tired to cook. Other than that he has no choices unless he is paying my bills.tracyannk28 wrote: »
Totally agree with this. I was just trying to hold back my thoughts, but you said what I was thinking.tracyannk28 wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.
OP, I'm going to give my honest opinion - then back away from this thread before I'm flamed: I think your 10 year old daughter is manilpulating you. Why should she eat your home cooking when she knows that if she refuses you'll take her to Applebees (or wherever)? Maybe her picky eating is a result of an underlying issue? Is she doing anything else to seek your attention? Has there been any sudden changes in her life?
In my day if we didn't eat what was put in front of us, we went to bed without any dinner. Case closed.
Also - you must make a lot of money to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle where you can eat out 5+ times a week. I'm jealous!
OK - I'm leaving now
whew...I thought I was going to get my butt handed to me. Nice to see a few of us are raising our kids 'old school'
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Absolutely. My son's only choice is every Friday night and when mommy is too tired to cook. Other than that he has no choices unless he is paying my bills.tracyannk28 wrote: »
Totally agree with this. I was just trying to hold back my thoughts, but you said what I was thinking.tracyannk28 wrote: »hollyrayburn wrote: »This is just my personal opinion, but when we get hungry enough, we will eat anything that is available, whether we like it or not.
Doing it simply because her daughter doesn't want to eat at home not only teaches that it's healthy to eat out for virtually every meal, but teaches that she can get her own way by being different.
ETA: This is again, my opinion.
OP, I'm going to give my honest opinion - then back away from this thread before I'm flamed: I think your 10 year old daughter is manilpulating you. Why should she eat your home cooking when she knows that if she refuses you'll take her to Applebees (or wherever)? Maybe her picky eating is a result of an underlying issue? Is she doing anything else to seek your attention? Has there been any sudden changes in her life?
In my day if we didn't eat what was put in front of us, we went to bed without any dinner. Case closed.
Also - you must make a lot of money to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle where you can eat out 5+ times a week. I'm jealous!
OK - I'm leaving now
whew...I thought I was going to get my butt handed to me. Nice to see a few of us are raising our kids 'old school'
Mine is in college now, but when he was little we'd go to a diner or get take out on pay-day sometimes. But that was more to give me a break from cooking
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lbetancourt wrote: »(When I was a young girl & grandma was low on groceries)
Me: "I'm hungry! What did you make?"
Grandma: "bean & egg tacos"
Me: "Gross, I don't want that"
Grandma: "You are NOT hungry then"
An hour later...
Me: "Grandma, where are the tacos?"
Grandma: "On the stove"
Damn... I miss her bean & egg tacos.
Exactly... in the end you should teach your daughter to eat the food you cooked.
Better yet, why don't you both cook together? I'm pretty sure she would be more willing to eat the food she helped cook. I remember I was proud when everybody was eating the veggies I had helped chop up and stuff like that when I was a little girl.
I wish I could have the money to eat out so often, tho... :laugh:
Personally I eat out about once, twice a week at most... if I have the money.
Hope you find a solution to your problem.
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I have to stick up for myself here...I don't think going out to eat often is bad parenting or teaching my kid anything other than we get to go out to eat often. It's a part of our social life that's important to us. And it was the same for me when I was a kid. Some people eat at home, some don't. Believe me, if I thought it was detrimental to my daughter in any way, I wouldn't do it. It's our lifestyle.I'd never presume to tell someone how to parent their children. But have you thought about the lessons that you're teaching her? Is that really the message that you want to communicate to your 10-year-old, that it's okay to turn her nose up at so much perfectly good food and that eating out that often is healthy? Not only for her nutritional needs, but also for her financial health as an adult, I'd think it would be better in the long run for her to learn healthy eating and cooking at home, and you can get her involved in the food prep and cooking so she learns these skills for life.
As for you, why 1200 calories/day? Sounds like if you have 65 pounds to lose, you're bigger than is reasonable for someone who's eating such a low calorie goal. (1200 is usually only appropriate for smaller, older women). If you set your calorie goal to 2lbs/week, try setting it to something more reasonable, like 1 or 1.5 per week, and see what MFP gives you. You should have more calories than that.
I was just curious if other people ate out that often while trying to lose weight and if they had a hard time. Looks pretty split down the middle. I think I'll cut back a little and see how we do. But thanks for all the great feedback. I feel much better.
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Sophsmother wrote: »CA_Underdog wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »My daughter is 10 and is an extremely picky eater. No matter what I cook for her, which is usually something she has picked, she takes 2 bites then hates it and asks for something else. When we go out, she doesn't do that, so we started eating out 5x a week,
1. Have you discussed this with your pediatrician? Did you ask for a referral to a specialist?
2. Can you learn how to cook tastier foods from what she's eating when you're out? E.g., perhaps they're using 85% lean ground beef and you're using 98% lean ground beef.
3. Are you eating at places with published calorie counts? If so, you know what she's getting, and hitting your targets should be easy. There will always be some variation in portion sizes of real food, and that's okay, so long as there isn't a consistent pattern of oversizing portions.
3. Cheese. Is. Amazing. It can make broccoli palatable.
4. Peanut Butter. Is. Amazing. It can make carrots palatable.
It must be frustrating, going through a phase where she won't eat your cooking. I've had kids sometimes refuse a meal, but never to the point they lost extreme weight.
The pediatrician sent us to a dietician who we sat with for 2 hours to come up with an eating plan for my daughter. But my daughter hates my cooking. I'm not awful at cooking, but not really good either. Plus, she only wants to eat fruit and veggies. No dairy, no protein, no bread, no cereal ... it's rough trying to feed this kid.
I meet with my own dietician once a week who is super. She helped come up with a plan that allows us to eat out, but since none of these places post nutrition info, she warned me that it could be tough.
She will only eat fruits and vegetables at home... how exactly does it change when you go to a restaurant? She magically will consume bread, dairy and proteins there? Or is she still only eating fruits and vegetables at the restaurant?
I'm leaning toward the you are being manipulated and creating bad habits crowd. Maybe toughove or therapy is a way to go to get her past her eating issues instead of heading to restaurants.
I'm also thinking health problems from 65 pounds overweight significantly trump 10 year old picky eater who is just 5 pounds underweight.1 -
It's not a 'lifestyle' if you're doing it to cater to her whims about not eating your cooking. But yeah, not a parenting forum, so whatever. Let her walk all over you and let her build up (probably) bad habits at the same time.
Where do you eat out at? What do you typically eat when there? What does she typically eat?
Putting on weight really shouldn't be about cramming your face full of crap. Losing weight shouldn't really be about cutting out everything until you go crazy and switch to cramming it. Moderation and all that. Catering to a 10 year old under the guise of 'it's my social thing' just seems...off to me. But yeah, whatever.0
This discussion has been closed.
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