A short rant about many of the posts I have been seeing here. May come off as harsh but must be said
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joejward95 wrote: »No, I am saying that hardships in life have nothing to do with weightloss. My hardships are none of your business, yours are none of mine. Because it is irrelevant to weight.
I am sorry this makes no sense. Of course hardships affect weight loss. If I cannot afford the right foods til payday that will affect my weightloss, however it is up to me to eat as healthily as I am able to and not eat corndogs and fish sticks.
Another fact of hardships such as a family member getting cancer or something can affect your weight loss as it is a crushing blow and if you are in the beginning it can be ever so hard not to stuff your face instead of dealing, if that is your pattern in your life. But again it is up to me to say hey I don't want to be like this and I need new coping skills.
other hardships may be you have a medical issue that does make it very hard to lose or a mental issue. It is hard to overcome not seeing the scale move fir months but remain upbeat despite all your exercise and food being perfect.
And maybe some people don't yet understand portions or calories and its a bit frustrating bc you can't wrap yourself around it and you think you are doing awesome but really you have portion distortion. So there is that aha moment wgen you do get it and its like oh this is not rocket science ( except for those who go by certain formulas) and then you see wow ive been doing it all wrong. Ok try a little compassion. Every body has different circumstances. It is good to say I see you are struggling let me help you. I see these sound like excuses if they actually do and say what can we do about that? I can motivate others by my actions I don't have to tell them get off your butt and do it. There is such a thing as tact and caring for and not attacking or making others get defensive in what you are saying. There is a great book called communication for nonviolence it is awesome and you might come away from it a better person.0 -
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herrspoons wrote: »Can anyone suffering from thyroid disorders or PCOS please state exactly why that, after effective medication and nutrient profile modification had been applied, CICO would not apply to them?
We understand these are tough medical conditions. Equally they are treatable.
It's not necessarily the same CICO - a calorie reduction to lose a lb takes longer to achieve and has other effects that we might not experience (hunger signaling, hormonal impact, mental impact). Add to that increased sensitivity to bloating and resulting long-term weight fluctuations and for some people it appears that CICO has failed.
They are manageable, more or less successfully. Sometimes very inconsistently.
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Btw how did people figure out its 90% diet? Too simplistic. It can be anything from100% diet downwards depending how much exercise you do. If you do enough then exercise burns can be a significant part in your overall weight loss plan.
999, you are exactly right. Weight loss is about setting up and maintaining a caloric deficit. Some will establish this without exercising at all (so for them it is 100% diet). Some will establish this by exercising 5 hours per day and burning 2500 calories (so for them it is probably closer to 25% diet). There is no "correct" answer to this, it is all about whatever works for each individual. Personally I am trying to lose 1.5 pounds per week, with about 1/3 of the deficit due to exercise and 2/3 due to cutting calories from my diet, but that is just me.
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You know what the thing is with the tough love vs. compassion and all the going back and forth on which is a better approach?
It doesn't matter.
If someone isn't ready to do this, they aren't ready.0 -
rjmudlax13 wrote: »I am all for positive motivation and trying to understand the individual person without judging. However, one universal truth that the OP touched on is that YOU need to make the choice to do it, YOU need to take the responsibility and YOU need to really want it (not just half want it or just want it on Mondays etc.). The OP may come off as harsh and immature to some (and maybe he is) but from my experience (and I am only 29 and do not in any way consider myself an expert) you will not get the results you "want" unless you really want it deep down. Everyone has their own unique obstacles and life situations, but if you truly deep down really want it you will figure out how to overcome those obstacles. This goes for any challenge or goal in life. Also, if you do really want it, the right people will show up in your life to give you the help you need because we all need a little help. But it starts with you!
Couldnt agree with you more. People need to commit and get on with it, but some people find it harder than others. Just telling them to sort themseleves out isnt going to work. Thats why you treat them as individuals and accept that if you want to help then you support them through the process.joejward95 wrote: »
No, I am saying that hardships in life have nothing to do with weightloss. My hardships are none of your business, yours are none of mine. Because it is irrelevant to weight.
They may not have anything to do with the technicalities of cico, but who people are and their personalities has a lot to do with their mental attitude, baggage and disipline to carry out a succcessful diet. If the person has spent years overweight in spoons sea of failure, then you arent going to be dealing with someone who has top confidence and that becomes relevant in helping set them on the right path.
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What finally snapped inside you to get off the couch and start doing whatever it was you did to make it happen? Didn't it feel good when your family commented on how much better you were looking? (Motivation) Didn't it feel great when you fit into a smaller sized pair of jeans? (Motivation).
I read some of these posts too, but I don't judge. I just hope that someday soon those folks find their mojo - their Just Do It.
Well said! I had my "Just Do It" moment a few weeks ago. I've gained a lot of weight over the last 2-3 years and was feeling bloated all the time. I knew I was in trouble when my size 38 jeans were beginning to get snug and I was on my way closer to 300 lbs!! I'll be 30 years old next month and my wife and I are expecting our first child in July. I refuse to be out of shape and unable to keep up! MFP has really changed the way I eat and how much, as well. I weigh most of my food before I eat it and log it so I know exactly what it contains. My sweet tooth cravings have been the hardest for me, but I swap the cookies and ice cream with fresh fruits. MOTIVATION conquers all!
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the butthurt in this thread is amazing....
In addition, I'm seeing so much projection that I want to watch Cinema Paradisio again.
OP: Excuses won't get you anywhere
Everyone else: OMG MY EXCUSES ARE REAL, YOU FETUS!
SMDH. Nobody said that individual people don't have certain factors in life that present challenges in reaching their goals. Thing is, that doesn't make life "impossible." So, you know....~shrug~
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herrspoons wrote: »Can anyone suffering from thyroid disorders or PCOS please state exactly why that, after effective medication and nutrient profile modification had been applied, CICO would not apply to them?
We understand these are tough medical conditions. Equally they are treatable.
Because treatment isn't about just taking a pill and being cured. It is continuing, and just because they are treatable doesn't mean they are stable. It's hard to find the right dosage for medications, and needs change as bodies change. I think it's important to reinforce to people who suffer from metabolic disorders that it CAN be done, you can and you will lose weight, so long as you dedicate yourself to both weight and disease management.
I am lucky enough to have the benefit of some medical education and a good relationship with my endocrinologist. Not everyone has my support system.0 -
mamapeach910 wrote: »You know what the thing is with the tough love vs. compassion and all the going back and forth on which is a better approach?
It doesn't matter.
If someone isn't ready to do this, they aren't ready.
Your right about being ready but also you need to have the right information to hand.
i always used to believe that to lose weight you had to be hungry and eat salad.
i was told to cut out pasta, rice and bread by one of my friends and i will lose weight (luckily i ignored that)
I came on this website and realised that all i needed to do was actually move and eat less food.0 -
I do think your age is a factor in what you say and how you say it and it's why people are mentioning it.
Congratulations on your weight loss. At 43, I can tell you I am very experienced at weight loss. Over the years I am sure I have lost more than 80 lbs. For many of us it is making sure those pounds stay away that is the issue. I don't believe you have enough time in to know whether you will successfully keep it off or not.
I will also add in an effort to help you- that when I was your age and in "uni" I had absolutely no weight issues. I went to college full time and worked a full time job for most of those years and never gained a pound. But that doesn't mean I am superior than those that did or that I have some sort of magic formula or that I made less excuses. In fact I didn't experience true issues with my weight until I was in my my early- mid 30s. When I had a demanding career and was raising 4 kids under age 5 by myself while my husband was deployed in Iraq. Is that an excuse? I don't really think so. I was just preoccupied with things other than my weight at that time in my life. Some day you may find yourself in a similar situation in which life presents challenges that make it difficult for people to take care of themselves in the way they need to.
Compassion and empathy are so important in life in general and they don't take anymore effort than being harsh.0 -
While most of us agree with the sentiment that the only person who can take control of their weightloss is ourselves, I think the delivery was just uncalled for. It showed a lack of compassion and empathy for others which I personally think is a better quality than any amount of weight loss will achieve.0
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I doubt CICO is a new concept to any MFP member...
This isn't joejward95.com, people can make excuses, beg for support and use these forums however MFP allows, who cares what makes joe mad.
People attack his age, not because he's too young to have a valid opinion, but because he hasn't lost his weight and kept it off, his success that has totally went to his head, may be temporary.
What worked for you OP, "lone wolf" mentality, doesn't work for everyone. Some people thrive in team or buddy systems. They amazingly lose weight, without being so bitter and resentful.
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I don't even know what this thread is about anymore...
what was the point?
oh yea, people need to stop making excuses for not losing ...
and other people need to realize that MFP stands for "My Fitness Pal" its not MMP "My Motivational Pal" If you want motivation go watch stewart smilely videos or something...0 -
sorry did not mean to repeat jenlo we wrote at the same time now i cant delete it0
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I don't even know what this thread is about anymore...
what was the point?
oh yea, people need to stop making excuses for not losing ...
and other people need to realize that MFP stands for "My Fitness Pal" its not MMP "My Motivational Pal" If you want motivation go watch stewart smilely videos or something...
what do u have against people using the site for motivation?
is stewart smilely a personal trainer, never heard of him
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Wow this thread has gotten ridiculous. I mean you have people debating over grammar for goodness sake. Look, OP, I get that the excuses people make can be aggravating but if you truly wanted to help those people by giving them this tough love post of yours.. Why don't you just send them a message or post on their discussions when they post about an excuse. You said yourself "even if it only helps one person" so.. If that's the case then do it. Start one person at a time. I think your post was more about ranting or for attention than it was helping someone. These 'excuse making' people you speak of don't know you from a fly on the wall so they're not going to read this & go "ohhhhhh wowwww.. I'm so inspired now." People make excuses, fail, start over. Make excuses, fail, start over. Until one day THEY wake up & find it within THEMSELVES to make & feel the change. Not by reading this rant.0
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AnthonyThrashD wrote: »I doubt CICO is a new concept to any MFP member...
This isn't joejward95.com, people can make excuses, beg for support and use these forums however MFP allows, who cares what makes joe mad.
People attack his age, not because he's too young to have a valid opinion, but because he hasn't lost his weight and kept it off, his success that has totally went to his head, may be temporary.
What worked for you OP, "lone wolf" mentality, doesn't work for everyone. Some people thrive in team or buddy systems. They amazingly lose weight, without being so bitter and resentful.
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