A short rant about many of the posts I have been seeing here. May come off as harsh but must be said
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LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »
I think you're missing the point.AmbyrJayde wrote: »LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »
There is for almost everyone, and I have spent a lot of energy advocating just that on these very forums for over two years.AmbyrJayde wrote: »LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »
Just curious, if you had to choose between being fat, or feeling like you are starving all day every day for the rest of your life, which do you think you would choose?joejward95 wrote: »Are you telling me, if you didn't eat for 2 weeks you would not lose a single lb? You understand that is literally defeating the laws of physics.
That is not how this works, that's not how any of this works. There are not only two options starving or gluttony. There is a middle ground.
In regards to starving vs gluttony there literally is a middle ground for everyone.
In regards to eating the things you want, probably not so much. I don't allow chips or snack cakes or cookies etc, in my house any more even though I love them because I know my limits and I know that I personally can not handle them in the house because I will over eat them. not everyone has to do that. They can manage their middle ground in regards to snacks w/out harsh restrictions. I can't, and I admit that I'm an addict and I keep my drug of choice far away. Now, if I'm out and about and have worked out that day and have the urge for a snack cake or a soda I will buy one, and enjoy it. Because It doesn't happen often. But I always faithfully log it because not logging it doesn't mean the calories didn't go in :P (That's a poke at myself not you.)
I practice moderation, and I also preach it. It's also easy for me because moderation equals averaging about 3000 calories a day.
If you had a medical condition that caused you to gain whenever you ate more than 1000 calories per day, yet your hunger is not satisfied until you've eaten 2000 calories, can you tell me what you would define as a "middle ground" in such a scenario?
This is a great point. I often tout the whole moderation thing too, because it works. But it doesn't work for everyone and I fail to acknowledge that point most times. Being greedy and having 0 self control is one thing, but not being able to move is another. It actually doesn't work that well for me. It does when I'm working out and burning calories, I can do amazingly well with moderation. But when I can't work out for whatever reason, or don't want to, well, I just can't eat very many goodies. I'm 5'4 and 120lbs. So if I'm not working out, I can't do too well with moderation because my calories don't go that far lol. I've never been overweight; I started at 138. But i'm trying to maintain right now, and it's way more difficult than losing, IMH. A lot of times, I have to just cut certain high calorie things out. I can eat them every once in a while, but if you're sedentary, and have no choice (BTW I do have a choice, but I'm in school and refuse to make the time to work out, because of that, I have to cut cals), like the person in the wheelchair discussed previously, it just doesn't work.
I am a fan of moderation and don't believe you should cut out ANY type of food. But if it's stuff that consumes half your calories and doesn't give you as much nutritional value, (and you can't work it off) sometimes it's just not worth eating.
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herrspoons wrote: »herrspoons wrote: »Every single one of you who disagreed with the OP's post is going to fail. Every single one of you. Maybe not now, but in a year or so's time when you put the weight back on.
All of you.
Except a lot of those are people disagreeing or pointing out the flaw in the way he said it rather than the fundamentals of what he said.
What flaw? Tell me anything in the original post that isn't true. It's not relevant if someone's feels are damaged. Christ, a lot of posters on this site could do with a good verbal slap. Maybe even a physical one.
a physical slap huh? Careful...0 -
AmandaHugginkiss wrote: »herrspoons wrote: »I mean, dear god. Do most of you think that having 20 or 30 years more 'life experience' makes you any more qualified to give advice? All it means is that you've made consistently bad choices for 20 or 30 more years. That's why you're here in the first place.
You can cry about the bluntness of the delivery. You can whine about your inability to keep your hand out of the cookie jar. You can spend hours looking for every medical ailment or fringe scientific study that gives you a reason as to why you're failing... and you still won't change the basic laws of physiology and energy conservation.
I'm looking at the replies and seeing a sea of failure, and I'm finally understanding why we have an obesity problem and why most people put the weight back on.
Cookies? Where can I find this jar of which you speak?
I could totally go for a cookie about now.
I'll look for the cookies, in the meantime you order the pizza.
Wake me up when it arrives
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Tamer threads than this have been nuked. I haven't seen the rampant flagging on here that usually happens when people get wound up, so maybe that's why.LiftAllThePizzas wrote: »
Why would it be nuked? People aren't violating rules here, which is actually pretty miraculous for a 12 page thread.
I've been trying, though they haven't been strictly cats. I'm surprised this thread hasn't been nuked yet.Wiseandcurious wrote: »Bring on the cat gifs.
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Therealobi1 wrote: »joejward95 wrote: »No, I am saying that hardships in life have nothing to do with weightloss. My hardships are none of your business, yours are none of mine. Because it is irrelevant to weight.
doesnt hardships play a part in how smooth it is for a person to succeed or not?
I feel like you. I was not angered by his blunt comments because he did say he was going to rant but I hated the end of his post. Mainly this part: "Show some self control, and if you can't then you don't deserve to be in shape. Your body will react to how you treat it.Lack self control? You're going to be fat and deserve to be like that."
I just feel these were unnecessarily rude comments that could have been left out.0 -
Therealobi1 wrote: »Delivery for me is awful, i couldnt care less the age or sex of the poster, but content is correct.
This part of the post I absolutely detest.
Tl;dr: Stop whining and take responsibility for your weight loss. You're a grown adult, deal with it like one. Show some self control, and if you can't then you don't deserve to be in shape. Your body will react to how you treat it.Lack self control? You're going to be fat and deserve to be like that.
Whining for me is part of the journey for me. And if it was just a matter of being a grown adult, loads of people wouldnt have got big in the first place.
if you dont like the whining close the posts.
p.s I am not angry, not hungry, just my opinion. infact you sound angry.
I feel like you. I was not angered by his blunt comments because he did say he was going to rant but I hated the end of his post. Mainly this part: "Show some self control, and if you can't then you don't deserve to be in shape. Your body will react to how you treat it.Lack self control? You're going to be fat and deserve to be like that."
I just feel these were unnecessarily rude comments that could have been left out.
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I prefer to say it this way:Therealobi1 wrote: »Delivery for me is awful, i couldnt care less the age or sex of the poster, but content is correct.
This part of the post I absolutely detest.
Tl;dr: Stop whining and take responsibility for your weight loss. You're a grown adult, deal with it like one. Show some self control, and if you can't then you don't deserve to be in shape. Your body will react to how you treat it.Lack self control? You're going to be fat and deserve to be like that.
Whining for me is part of the journey for me. And if it was just a matter of being a grown adult, loads of people wouldnt have got big in the first place.
if you dont like the whining close the posts.
p.s I am not angry, not hungry, just my opinion. infact you sound angry.
I feel like you. I was not angered by his blunt comments because he did say he was going to rant but I hated the end of his post. Mainly this part: "Show some self control, and if you can't then you don't deserve to be in shape. Your body will react to how you treat it.Lack self control? You're going to be fat and deserve to be like that."
I just feel these were unnecessarily rude comments that could have been left out.
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Oh, the wisdom one can gain in a lifetime six months.0
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snickerscharlie wrote: »markjbevan wrote: »For example, if someone says "I've had a bad day at work, so I ate a box of donuts", the easiest thing to say is A. "I dont blame you, I woudlnt worry about it, you can always start again tomorrow". But the more helpful thing to say is B. "sorry you had a bad day, but the donuts wont help, and you will probably feel worse after you've eaten them".
Which one would be easier? A. Which one would be more helpful? B.
Just my thoughts
But B assumes that you know more than your friend does. Don't you think they already know that scarfing down a box of donuts was a dumb idea? And that perhaps rubbing their nose in the donut crumbs is the least helpful and least kind response you could have chosen?
Unfortunately what you often see is "I've had a bad day at work, so I ate a box of donuts..." and then "Gosh, I don't know why I'm not losing weight." Personally I find both A and B to be patronizing, but then again, I'm responsible for what I put into my mouth and I know when I've messed up. People need to be honest with themselves. And if they honestly don't know that eating a whole box of donuts is going to hamper their weight loss efforts, then I don't even know how to help them.0 -
um okay and you get zero credit for trying to look tough on the internet. :P0
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snickerscharlie wrote: »markjbevan wrote: »For example, if someone says "I've had a bad day at work, so I ate a box of donuts", the easiest thing to say is A. "I dont blame you, I woudlnt worry about it, you can always start again tomorrow". But the more helpful thing to say is B. "sorry you had a bad day, but the donuts wont help, and you will probably feel worse after you've eaten them".
Which one would be easier? A. Which one would be more helpful? B.
Just my thoughts
But B assumes that you know more than your friend does. Don't you think they already know that scarfing down a box of donuts was a dumb idea? And that perhaps rubbing their nose in the donut crumbs is the least helpful and least kind response you could have chosen?
Unfortunately what you often see is "I've had a bad day at work, so I ate a box of donuts..." and then "Gosh, I don't know why I'm not losing weight." Personally I find both A and B to be patronizing, but then again, I'm responsible for what I put into my mouth and I know when I've messed up. People need to be honest with themselves. And if they honestly don't know that eating a whole box of donuts is going to hamper their weight loss efforts, then I don't even know how to help them.
You honestly know people attempting to lose weight that will eat a whole box of donuts and don't know that will hamper their weight loss efforts?
Is this real life?0 -
>um okay and you get zero credit for trying to look tough on the internet. :P
Good thing I will happily admit I am not tough, just a realist trying to knock some sense into some people!0 -
EvgeniZyntx wrote: »joejward95 wrote: »I do find it very odd that so many people are focusing on my age as to why I am apparently incorrect. If I am so blatantly incorrect why are you not pointing out what I have said wrong? By focusing on my age you are really not saying anything with factual basis.
Many of you also seem to ignore that I have stated this post is not aimed towards that many of you. It is a very small minority that this is targeted to, so obviously it wont apply to most of you.
Also,you have no idea what my life experiences are? You have no idea how had I may of had to work to be in the position I am in life right now do you?
I'll give you a hint. I have had a very tough life. Tougher than I bet most of you had during your youth. That is as much detail as I want to go into, but I find it very rude to just discredit someone due to their age. It comes off as very immature.
Having had a tough early life doesn't provide some exceptional knowledge set on how weight loss or personal motivation works for all people. In fact, having survived that, it has a tendency to decrease someone's empathy for others that struggle through different problems. It may result in a "I survived this, your struggle isn't that big" mentality.
Work on your empathy skills. Or read the Little Prince. Understanding that someone's difficulty is real because it is their own and the results are staring you in the face will go a long way to support the valid knowledge you might bring.
If anything, your youth and lack of experience, lack of empathy and possible lack of coming in contact with a larger variety of people is what is being highlighted with those comments. The general rantingness of your post, just highlights the need to grow the eff up. (That might seem harsh but take it as advice.)
People here struggle with many different parameters such as nutrition education, time, consistency, injury and physical/mental health issues. A monolithic approach like yours is mostly likely to grate than help. If you were mature enough to know that, you'd approached this differently.
Yes!
Also, Op, if you lost 80 lbs since September that's a bit fast, you probably lost more muscle than what would be ideal.
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Yep, it's really 1% knowing how many calories to eat and 99% being in the right mindset to actually do so. And thermodynamics doesn't apply to that 99% any more than relativity or Maxwell's equations.Derprioception wrote: »mamapeach910 wrote: »Derprioception wrote: »If people were one dimensional beings then yeah, CICO would be the sum of all things weight loss. Regardless, it is the foundation of success. Winning doesn't happen without it... Period. However, we aren't 1 dimensional. Everything physical is also affected by the mental and emotional processes we experience. It's a bit naive to assume that it isn't. The disconnect comes in when we factor the different degrees by which we are all affected by them. There is a broad variance there and given the huge number of different people on this site you're discounting a significant portion of the population by asserting that they all must approach the process with the exact degree of mental and emotional disconnect that you approach it.
Some people have emotional issues that cloud the picture for them. I was sexually abused as a child and raped as a teenager.
So I understand what you're saying.
However...
To be successful, you can't let that stand in your way and use it as a shield forever.
Some people come on this site and they're still at a stage of their journey where they're in the middle of dealing with those emotional issues. This is NOT a counseling site. No one here can help them get through the various types of emotional baggage that can be reasons for over eating.
When someone is past that point, and has dealt with the issues, and is simply down to eating as a habit, and is ready to break a bad habit? Then they're ready for what this site can offer.
On I can definitely agree with all of that. My main point is that there is a degree of reductionism that sometimes take place with these discussions wherein the value of motivation and encouragement is not only overlooked but on occasion is outright mocked. Op's premise is valid, just lacking what I feel are those key ingredients.
Unfortunately, like mamapeach pointed out, many people who show up here are nowhere near the right mindset, but they expect everyone here to fix it for them. And that's when the real fun ensues.0 -
It was fascinating reading through these responses. It seems like there are 2 main schools of thought. One is about being positive and empathetic all the time and the other is being blunt and truthful. There are a select few who understand that it requires both methods of motivation.
Sometimes being too soft and gentle can be just as a disservice as being a complete dick. I think that a great leader and motivator is empathetic most of the time, however, understands the point as which someone needs a kick in the butt. It's not meant to be mean it's meant to be as if you are saying "listen - I know things are tough, but you need to stop using your struggles as a constant excuse because I and many others are here to help, but you need to change your attitude or you are just wasting everyone's time."
Also, sometimes you do need the blunt a-holes in the world to at least get people angry because often times in order to change you need to get angry about your situation first and then hopefully use that energy to find the right people to help you truly change.
But again, it all starts with you truly wanting it.0 -
My attention span petered out around page 2 or so, so I'm sorry if this has already been said, but bitching is fun as fuk!
ETA:
Also, no one "deserves" to be in shape, they either are or aren't (I'd generalize this to "no one deserves anything", but this is not the time or place for philosophy).0 -
I probably did lose more muscle than I wanted, but I do bouldering so weight loss was a much larger priority than muscle0
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joejward95 wrote: »I probably did lose more muscle than I wanted, but I do bouldering so weight loss was a much larger priority than muscle
Congratulations then, that is quite an accomplishment. Take good care of yourself.
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