supporting your mfp friends....or not.

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  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
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    I have only deleted two people for following a VLCD diet. One of those people had their diary private, but they would constantly post that it's closed because they were eating very little and even though they knew what they were doing was dangerous, they didn't want comments about it. I just silently deleted them. There are many people that know what they are doing is unhealthy but don't care because lowering the number on the scale is their only priority.

  • Delilahhhhhh
    Delilahhhhhh Posts: 477 Member
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    dbmata wrote: »
    MrM27 wrote: »
    I delete them. It's not my job to change people.

    If you're doing it right, this is the proper answer.

    or even better don't bother with all the 'friend' BS, easy peasy, you log your food and laugh at all the wonderful threads and gifs on the site.
  • _celesse
    _celesse Posts: 75 Member
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    If someone messaged me telling me they didn't agree with/want to support my eating habits and that they would unfriend me, or start giving me advice I didn't ask for, I would unfriend them first! I just cannot with people who think they can tell me things without even knowing the full story, or what else goes on in my life. There've been plenty of days where I start logging but don't finish for whatever reasons and it looks like I've had practically nothing to eat. Plus, I prefer to eat a bit less during the week so I can have something really nice and treat-ish on the weekends. It's also good for the times I "oops" and have a bit more to eat of something than I should.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    edited March 2015
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    PharmGirl522 wrote: »
    See, this kind of ties in with the thread the other day about why so many people keep their diaries closed. I mean, you don't actually know if the people you're talking about are actually *eating* that little, or if there are other things that they just aren't logging.

    ^^This.
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    I have deleted people for ED behaviour, not really for a low diary (mine is closed and I rarely look at others unless a comment on it makes me curious) but for making posts about being proud of starving, or freaking out because they 'binged' and ate an apple they didn't plan.

    ^^And this.

    It would bother me to read friends' comments bragging about eating so little, or if they were trying to get me to eat as they do. Then I'd delete them. But I don't see a low diary on its own as "negativity" or a reason to delete someone.
  • JenniferInCt
    JenniferInCt Posts: 431 Member
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    Akaja wrote: »
    If someone messaged me telling me they didn't agree with/want to support my eating habits and that they would unfriend me, or start giving me advice I didn't ask for, I would unfriend them first! I just cannot with people who think they can tell me things without even knowing the full story, or what else goes on in my life. There've been plenty of days where I start logging but don't finish for whatever reasons and it looks like I've had practically nothing to eat. Plus, I prefer to eat a bit less during the week so I can have something really nice and treat-ish on the weekends. It's also good for the times I "oops" and have a bit more to eat of something than I should.
    Exactly! Its not like I don't eat! My cal goal was 1860! I sometimes go over. I was netting low bc fitbit was giving me extra calories for work and such. But ive been working for years and that didnt get me skinny! I eat like 4 meals plus snacks a day. Like real food too. Probably too much lol. And i also net low somedays, so i can have a nice dinner out or starbucks for when i want it. Unless ive asked, I dont see how its anyones business. People can be so judgemental sometimes. Especially behind a computer. If everyone on mfp judged others or told them what they thought in a rude way, no one would be here. I dont say anything when friends net 1000, and i dont say anything when they eat mcdonalds five days in a row. Even if people ask, i try to be kind and understanding.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    JenniferInCt wrote: »
    Akaja wrote: »
    If someone messaged me telling me they didn't agree with/want to support my eating habits and that they would unfriend me, or start giving me advice I didn't ask for, I would unfriend them first! I just cannot with people who think they can tell me things without even knowing the full story, or what else goes on in my life. There've been plenty of days where I start logging but don't finish for whatever reasons and it looks like I've had practically nothing to eat. Plus, I prefer to eat a bit less during the week so I can have something really nice and treat-ish on the weekends. It's also good for the times I "oops" and have a bit more to eat of something than I should.
    Exactly! Its not like I don't eat! My cal goal was 1860! I sometimes go over. I was netting low bc fitbit was giving me extra calories for work and such. But ive been working for years and that didnt get me skinny! I eat like 4 meals plus snacks a day. Like real food too. Probably too much lol. And i also net low somedays, so i can have a nice dinner out or starbucks for when i want it. Unless ive asked, I dont see how its anyones business. People can be so judgemental sometimes. Especially behind a computer. If everyone on mfp judged others or told them what they thought in a rude way, no one would be here. I dont say anything when friends net 1000, and i dont say anything when they eat mcdonalds five days in a row. Even if people ask, i try to be kind and understanding.

    ive never thought you were dangerously low. LOL
  • JenniferInCt
    JenniferInCt Posts: 431 Member
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    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    JenniferInCt wrote: »
    Akaja wrote: »
    If someone messaged me telling me they didn't agree with/want to support my eating habits and that they would unfriend me, or start giving me advice I didn't ask for, I would unfriend them first! I just cannot with people who think they can tell me things without even knowing the full story, or what else goes on in my life. There've been plenty of days where I start logging but don't finish for whatever reasons and it looks like I've had practically nothing to eat. Plus, I prefer to eat a bit less during the week so I can have something really nice and treat-ish on the weekends. It's also good for the times I "oops" and have a bit more to eat of something than I should.
    Exactly! Its not like I don't eat! My cal goal was 1860! I sometimes go over. I was netting low bc fitbit was giving me extra calories for work and such. But ive been working for years and that didnt get me skinny! I eat like 4 meals plus snacks a day. Like real food too. Probably too much lol. And i also net low somedays, so i can have a nice dinner out or starbucks for when i want it. Unless ive asked, I dont see how its anyones business. People can be so judgemental sometimes. Especially behind a computer. If everyone on mfp judged others or told them what they thought in a rude way, no one would be here. I dont say anything when friends net 1000, and i dont say anything when they eat mcdonalds five days in a row. Even if people ask, i try to be kind and understanding.

    ive never thought you were dangerously low. LOL

    LOL! Thank you! See- someone who knows i eat too much! Hahaha
  • celticlass69
    celticlass69 Posts: 61 Member
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    Jenn I think the best thing you can do is follow your inner voice. We all come from different places in life, have different styles. Given all that I think if it is causing you distress then let them go. Most of us have weight, esteem, health issues. As a group I think we can be very empathetic. That's why we feel so bad deleting people, what if we are their lifeline? But if they won't catch the line we can't do anything about it. Hope this helps.
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
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    I rarely look at other people's diaries and keep mine closed. So what if someone eats under or over your pre-set notion of number of calories? Why did you friend them in the first place? Unrequested advice can be very hurtful, but most people won't even notice if you unfriend them.
  • JenniferInCt
    JenniferInCt Posts: 431 Member
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    celticlass69 wrote: »
    Jenn I think the best thing you can do is follow your inner voice. We all come from different places in life, have different styles. Given all that I think if it is causing you distress then let them go. Most of us have weight, esteem, health issues. As a group I think we can be very empathetic. That's why we feel so bad deleting people, what if we are their lifeline? But if they won't catch the line we can't do anything about it. Hope this helps.
    Thank you! That was beautifully said.

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