why people are so cruel??

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  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    BFDeal wrote: »
    EvgeniZyntx wrote: »
    Someone this week thought I was Belgian. I was mortified.

    Are you from Bruges?

    Dammit. I thought this place was about support
  • JenD1066
    JenD1066 Posts: 298 Member
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    Cruelty requires intent- I don't think there was any malice involved in the situation. And it needn't have anything to do with weight. The best way to handle it would have been to laugh, then simply make the introductions.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,978 Member
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    People say things without thinking; it's just the human condition. I doubt they were being malicious. (yeah, they shouldn't have commented on it either way) Like someone else said, maybe you carry yourself as someone older.

    For some of us, it's tough to judge age on others. Everyone in my immediate family looks significantly younger than they are. I'm 40 have have been mistaken for a student at my daughter's school multiple times in the past couple years. Because of that family trait, I have a terrible time guessing the age of adults.

    And since we're sharing...when I had my daughter I was 26 and over the next few years got questions like: "What do your parents think of you having a baby?"; "Wow, you've been having a bit too much fun for your age, huh?"; "will you be paying with wic or stamps?"...there were others. Those, in my opinion, were malicious.
  • NewMeSM75
    NewMeSM75 Posts: 971 Member
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    ThickMcRunFast wrote: »
    urloved33 wrote: »
    ThickMcRunFast wrote: »
    laurielima wrote: »
    Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.

    How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?


    OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.

    I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.

    at-first-i-was-like-but-then-i-lold.jpg

    I'm genuinely curious, why is this so offensive? Should I punch the next person who cards me, even though I am far older than 21? Weep for days because someone dares to suggest I may be old enough to drive a minivan and have a stable 401k? I'm so confused by these answers.

    Love the dog pic!

    But anyways, if I get carded. I'm like heck yeah!!!! :)
  • krysmuree
    krysmuree Posts: 326 Member
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    kami3006 wrote: »
    People say things without thinking; it's just the human condition. I doubt they were being malicious. (yeah, they shouldn't have commented on it either way) Like someone else said, maybe you carry yourself as someone older.

    For some of us, it's tough to judge age on others. Everyone in my immediate family looks significantly younger than they are. I'm 40 have have been mistaken for a student at my daughter's school multiple times in the past couple years. Because of that family trait, I have a terrible time guessing the age of adults.

    And since we're sharing...when I had my daughter I was 26 and over the next few years got questions like: "What do your parents think of you having a baby?"; "Wow, you've been having a bit too much fun for your age, huh?"; "will you be paying with wic or stamps?"...there were others. Those, in my opinion, were malicious.

    Seriously?! :s That is so unacceptable. Humans suck sometimes.
  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
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    They weren't being cruel, they just misjudged your age. Don't worry about what people you don't even know think.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
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    You wanna hear something bad, a couple of idiots have thought that my husband was my son! Yeah, I'm a little older than he is.... we're consenting adults, it's legal. I just raise an eyebrow and let them know in a way to make sure they are the ones who feel dumb, not me.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,978 Member
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    KrissyMuree wrote: »
    Seriously?! :s That is so unacceptable. Humans suck sometimes.

    Yeah, I generally roll with things but it was fun to politely respond and know that they felt like crap for saying it.

  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    Mistaking someone's age isn't cruel……….

    If you are unhappy with the way you look, do something about it. The power is in your hands.

  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    urloved33 wrote: »
    ThickMcRunFast wrote: »
    laurielima wrote: »
    Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.

    How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?


    OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.

    I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.

    Y r u so obsessed with vomit?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    urloved33 wrote: »
    Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.

    more people should think more highly of themselves- we wouldn't have such issues with insecurity if they did.

    It's easier than therapy and costs less.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    DavPul wrote: »
    urloved33 wrote: »
    ThickMcRunFast wrote: »
    laurielima wrote: »
    Well some people think more of themselves than they should...and then throw it up all over the rest of us.

    How is making a mistake about someone's age an example of this?


    OP, I highly doubt they were trying to be cruel to you. I don't even get how that comment is connected to weight. It seems that you are projecting your own insecurities. Just move on and don't let it affect your personal goals.

    I dont' remember asking your opinion. Throw it up all over someone else. Thank you.

    Y r u so obsessed with vomit?

    :laugh:
  • debrakgoogins
    debrakgoogins Posts: 2,033 Member
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    I got carded to get into a rated R movie once and my 17 year old (at the time) daughter was with me. I looked at myself when I got home and I was wearing a high pony tail, a Lloyd Dobler tee shirt, jeans and sneakers. I wasn't married at the time so there was no wedding ring on my finger. I was pretty much wearing exactly what my daughter was wearing except her tee shirt was a Farmer Ted from 16 Candles. I did look pretty young, not young enough to be carded, but if I had been standing next to one of my girlfriends, I could have easily passed for much younger than one of them. My point is, it is very possible that they asked that for reasons other than your weight. Does your girlfriend wear clothes that look much more youthful, does she wear trendier make up than you do, is her hair styled in some new edgy look...there are so many things that could have triggered the question and not all of them have to do with weight. It was inappropriate for them to ask but are you absolutely sure it had to do with your size and not something else?
  • beachbriel
    beachbriel Posts: 70 Member
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    Try to work on not letting other people affect you that much. Losing weight is a long and challenging journey, and it really helps to have inner motivation and strength to make it through. Since I changed my diet, lost significant body fat, and started to take better care of myself overall, I have had several people tell me I look "younger, better, prettier, etc." I could either think, yikes, I was a fat old ham before, or say thanks and move forward. I have even lost friends and have distanced from a family member who are still on unhealthy tracks because they have mocked me for making healthy choices...

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