"You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?
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christinev297 wrote: »meganjcallaghan wrote: »dustyyellowstar wrote: »This happened to me recently. I've lost 20lbs and my husband made the comment of "You're not going to be able to lose anymore. It's genetics. You're already skinny enough for your body type, your body naturally isnt going to let you lose more."
I had to stop for a second and ask myself who gave him the RD in Dietary Nutrition, because as far as I knew he worked on computers, not metabolisms.
It really upset me and threw me off, but I'm getting back on track now.
bahaha...i can't wait until you lose more and can be all like "ok...so what other bro science would you like to try to sell me on?"
My hubby said that i'm not ever going to be able to lose my belly, after all I'm not 20 anymore!! I agree with him, in that it wont go from diet alone, to get a completely flat tummy the gym and weight room is in my future
Men seem to easily catch foot-in-mouth disease don't they?
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mumblemagic wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »meganjcallaghan wrote: »dustyyellowstar wrote: »This happened to me recently. I've lost 20lbs and my husband made the comment of "You're not going to be able to lose anymore. It's genetics. You're already skinny enough for your body type, your body naturally isnt going to let you lose more."
I had to stop for a second and ask myself who gave him the RD in Dietary Nutrition, because as far as I knew he worked on computers, not metabolisms.
It really upset me and threw me off, but I'm getting back on track now.
bahaha...i can't wait until you lose more and can be all like "ok...so what other bro science would you like to try to sell me on?"
My hubby said that i'm not ever going to be able to lose my belly, after all I'm not 20 anymore!! I agree with him, in that it wont go from diet alone, to get a completely flat tummy the gym and weight room is in my future
Men seem to easily catch foot-in-mouth disease don't they?
HeHe yes indeedy! I just gave him a few of these looks :huh: :noway: :huh:
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christinev297 wrote: »mumblemagic wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »meganjcallaghan wrote: »dustyyellowstar wrote: »This happened to me recently. I've lost 20lbs and my husband made the comment of "You're not going to be able to lose anymore. It's genetics. You're already skinny enough for your body type, your body naturally isnt going to let you lose more."
I had to stop for a second and ask myself who gave him the RD in Dietary Nutrition, because as far as I knew he worked on computers, not metabolisms.
It really upset me and threw me off, but I'm getting back on track now.
bahaha...i can't wait until you lose more and can be all like "ok...so what other bro science would you like to try to sell me on?"
My hubby said that i'm not ever going to be able to lose my belly, after all I'm not 20 anymore!! I agree with him, in that it wont go from diet alone, to get a completely flat tummy the gym and weight room is in my future
Men seem to easily catch foot-in-mouth disease don't they?
HeHe yes indeedy! I just gave him a few of these looks :huh: :noway: :huh:
A totally appropriate response! My husband gets it on a regular basis. My kids call it "the hard blink" and it's kind of an unspoken code among us.
I've been about the same weight 30 years, and it is just under the "healthy" BMI, but no one ever says this to me. It must be the *change* these overly observant friends are reacting to. Stay the course! Someday they won't remember the heavier you.0 -
The thing is i lost around 30lbs all up, and i only put that on over the last 3 years. Before that i was the weight I am now. Maybe the older you get the more face chub you need to look healthy?0
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I too have been getting this lately which really has depressed me these last two days because it has been coming from my family. I lost a total of 49 pounds from weighing 162 pounds. Reading these comments just made me feel a whole lot better. I know how hard I worked to get to my goal weight an should be proud my BMI is also great. I have managed to keep this weight off for 3 yrs. so thank you to everyone who commented on this post an made me feel better1
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64mustangsue wrote: »I get that from my Mom of all people. The same person who told me I was getting heavy. Can't win. I am 5' 1/2" and 102lbs. Just keep reminding her I weighed 98lbs when I got married and she didn't think I was to skinny then.64mustangsue wrote: »I get that from my Mom of all people. The same person who told me I was getting heavy. Can't win. I am 5' 1/2" and 102lbs. Just keep reminding her I weighed 98lbs when I got married and she didn't think I was to skinny then.
My mom did this to me just two days ago. She made me feel horrible. "Why is your face bone sticking out like that" was exactly what she said. Made me feel awful1 -
"I think the word you're looking for is sexy."7
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I dealt with this a lot when I was in highschool and college. I was a dancer and on the color guard (flag twirler) and overall pretty active in those days. I've heard comments like "You're so skinny you'd blow away with the wind" or "You're so skinny when you walked past that flag pole you completely disappeared". I'm 5ft tall, and at the time I weighed probably around 100-105 lbs.
After I got married I gained a bit of weight, not a lot really (about 20-25 lbs) but since I'm so small it was pretty noticeable. My husband and I went to a Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmother's house this past year and before anyone started eating, my grandmother pulled me aside and told me she was proud of me for gaining some weight because I was starting to look anorexic and she was beginning to worry about me. And it's not like you could see me bones or anything, but I also come from a long line of hefty women.
I had already decided that I was going to try to lose the weight that I had gained over the past three years right after Christmas, knowing it would be a bit difficult to start before then. But that comment really hit me, it was the first time my family had ever commented on my weight in a negative way. It completely changed how I thought I should view my body and my future weight loss, but at the time I didn't know any other way to lose weight than to just eat less and maybe run every now and then (which I had been slacking on greatly).
That statement really changed the way that I wanted to lose weight, and honestly I think it was a good thing that my grandmother was bold enough to tell me that. I realized that before, though I was skinny, I didn't look healthy and I wanted to change that. So now instead of just eating less (which is pretty much only what I did before MFP) than I burn on a daily basis, I strength train as often as my body will let me (3 days a week) and run more no matter the excuses (rain, sun, sleet, or snow).
Since I've started this journey though, I've been afraid to visit my grandmother because I don't want her to comment on the fact that I'm losing weight. Hopefully, when I'm closer to or at my goal, she'll see that I'm not just skinny anymore that I'm also healthier too.1 -
Just an update: Last week my mum was nagging me not to lose anymore weight, that instead i should be putting it on. Fast forward to yesterday.... She came jeans shopping with me, and told me how great i look grrrr I think she actually had a proper look at my body and stopped concentrating on my face and collarbones! Whatever :huh:1
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I haven't ever posted before, but appreciate the support that this forum offers and want to get in on it! Lately, I've been in need of support from those who understand the struggles of weight loss and maintenance.
Since the fall of 2013, I went from 180lbs to 125lbs (female, 5'6") and have been maintaining at 125 (+/- 2lbs) for the past 6 months. As time goes on, I have gotten more and more serious about exercise and specifically running. I really enjoy seeing where my body can take me and it's motivating to break my personal records and times while running.
Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you respond to comments like this?
At 5'6'' 125 lbs is quite skinny, but I can understand how if you have been heavy wanting to get skinny. I would like to be 130-140 lbs when I reach goal weight. My sister is 5'4'' though and 130 lbs and she is like her perfect weight, so I would say you are leaning towards the too skinny side but not really too skinny. It really depends on your body shape and type. Oh, and my other sister is very tall and skinny and her body fat percentage was 17 and she was pretty skinny, a little too skinny for her height, but she is 5' 10''.0 -
FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »As someone who was significantly underweight from birth to age 18, I heard "You're too skinny!" and "Eat a cheeseburger!" a lot. My favorite was when people tried to say I was anorexic. My reply was usually something along the lines of, "Anorexics eat over 2500 calories?"
I was naturally thin and petite. I was a competitive gymnast and cheerleader for over 10 years. That was just how I was built.
When someone comments on your weight, simply tell them "thank you for your concern but my doctor assures me I'm healthy as can be." That will usually shut them up.
I disagree. If someone can say someone is too fat, than someone can say a person is too skinny. If a fat person is pushed to lose weight than a too skinny person can be pushed to gain weight. Healthy is healthy on either end of the spectrum. On either end health problems start developing. A person 100 lbs overweight or fairly underweight have just as much chance of health problems.
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I had s friend that lost close to 100 lb. she lost 95% of her friends after they saw her. Most of them were phone friends. Women are very competitive. In this county we are little kings and queens. We live in the land of plenty. I was 20 lb heavier than now. People told me I needed to gain weight. I had no waist line. I have narrow hip structure and didn't wear close fitting clothes on my top half. I often tell people my ribs are not showing. I am 58 and trying to get my saddle bags smaller than my hips yet I am 110 lb. I do tell people that my doctor is happy with my weight.0
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Good job everyone. I can't wait to be told this (hopefully). Bring it on! Down around 6lbs from when starting MFP 16 days ago.0
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I have always been 'too skinny'
I would just let the comments roll off. Some people might be saying it out of concern/jealousy. Others might say it to you thinking that you want to hear about how skinny you are just do what makes you the happiest, so long as you're healthy 0 -
I've been getting that for a little while. Though as I knocked off the last twenty pounds, I've had at LEAST three conversations that involve worries that I'm becoming anorexic (my mother was really freaked out that I got a food scale). I'm also fairly sure my family is talking about my weight behind my back. (I asked my sister about it and she abruptIy told me she was going to bed. Not very subtle.
) I reached my goal on Sunday (I randomly dropped four pounds and wasn't quite prepared snack/food wise) and this week I'm slowly attempting to up my calories until I get to maintenance.
I am pretty bony in my chest and lost a lot of weight in my face, but I run five days a week and strength train six. I don't always meet my calorie goals, but eating at 1200 calories + exercise for several months is a hard habit to break.
I think next time someone mentions it to me I'm going to ask them where this concern was when I was depressed and eating a half a gallon of ice cream by myself.
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krissyreminisce wrote: »I think next time someone mentions it to me I'm going to ask them where this concern was when I was depressed and eating a half a gallon of ice cream by myself.
Haha...yes. you'll get some guilty back-peddling right about then.
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Yes! I get this all the time and it really frustrates me! I've had two kids and I work hard to get into shape and stay there. Can't anyone ever just say "Wow, you look great"?
I walk on my afternoon break here at work. I have been asked "why do you walk? you're in good shape" yeah I'm in better shape BECAUSE I walk. Should I wait until I'm over weight and out of shape and then try to walk? No thank you! Been there done that!!
They had cake this morning for a guy in my office that is retiring. One of the other guys came up to me and said "go get some cake you need to eat before you whither away". This same guy has made similar comments to me on more than one occasion recently. While I did have some cake, and enjoyed it very much, I don't appreciate being told I need to eat before I whither away. I'm 5'6" and 120-125 depending on the day and I am pretty happy with the way I look. I need to tone up ( been doing Jillian Michaels and love her!) but I am not trying to lose weight just maintain.
It would just be nice if people stopped to think about how their words affect others. If you don't have anything better to say then keep your "you're too skinny" comments to yourself!1 -
I was 318.8 pounds and no one ever told me I was too fat, now I am inching my way down to 165 (goal) and everyone says I am getting too skinny, I should stop trying to drop anymore weight. I started telling them that if it didn't bug them when I was too fat, why are they speaking up now?! Worth mentioning - My height is 5'9" 165 is only 3.8lbs under the HIGH point of a "normal BMI" so... yeah.0
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Oh, I have people rag on me for eating proper serving sizes now, too. "You eat like a bird, are you anorexic, Hey! someone get Karen Carpenter some more food" Yeah... People are a-holes.3
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katiejanecollins wrote: »Ugh, yes.
On the other hand, my entire family is always saying "wouldn't you rather just enjoy food?", which bugs the hell out of me. I do enjoy food, just in smaller portions. That cake in the kitchen? I had some, just a smaller slice than what I'd have had a year ago.
Like most things in life, most people won't understand what you're doing unless they're doing it themselves
Very well said!!0 -
When people say they are concerned about my health, I want to ask them why they weren't concerned about me when I was obese.
Precisely. So many people just simply don't think before speaking. One of the toughest things to do (in my opinion) is to let comments slide off and forget about them. Far too many people aren't coming from a place of "concern" unless it is their own concern that you are doing something they can't, won't or don't want to do. But hey, that is their journey - not yours.
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Just tell em the doctor has checked you out and confirmed you are ok, so there's nothing to worry about.0
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Lost 35 lbs once, on purpose, (need to lose it again, uggh), but everyone kept asking if I was sick or something, and I was no where near done! Kinda takes the fun out of it.
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People at work tell me i've gotten too skinny and are mortified when i say i want to get leaner...and none of these people workout/lift/etc.., so to me it just is ignorance and i don't get annoyed when i look at it like that.0
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Heard it all numerous times. When they say 'you're too skinny' I just reply 'No I'm not' . That normally shuts them down. If it doesn't I tell them 'you're too opinionated'. That always shuts them down but they're usually unhappy about it. I don't care. I have the advice and support of my trainer and the other trainers at my gym who are all prepared to tell me if I do too much training or lose more weight than is healthy. I also have the support of my other half. They are the only opinions that count. However, it will still be up to me to decide if/when I'm too skinny.0
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I think that maybe some people just haven't got used to your weight loss yet. Also, I think people's perceptions of what is considered healthy is somewhat skewed, considering national averages. Also, it might just be them projecting their own jealousy/insecurities. As long as you're happy you're fine! You're at a healthy BMI and sound really fit and healthy so I'd just keep doing what you're doing if I were you. 0
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Saying "you're too fat" is considered rude, while saying "you're too skinny" supposedly means they are concerned about your health. People are hypocrites! "You're too skinny" mostly can be heard from people who would benefit from losing weight themselves, - a lot of weight, which is exactly what I tell them as an answer when I'm in the mood! :-)1
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Tedebearduff wrote: »
Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you respond to comments like this?
Yes, it's a complete mind *kitten* really, it made all my "Success" seem meaningless. I did a full blown bulk for a year and put back on 50lbs so people would leave me the *kitten* alone. I then would get comments like "do you still work out?" or "why'd you stop working out?"... this just kind of drove me over the edge and said *kitten* all of you while you sit there and wonder how you can't drop 20 lbs watch me lose the 50lbs I just put on ... and I'm in the process of doing that now lol down 25lbs so exactly half way back to the old me.
I also get comments again not to go to far with it but now I say, look *kitten* off it's my life mind your own business!
total lost is 172lbs btw
Good for You!
It goes to show that some people will always find somethibg negative to say no matter what. Do what makes u happy and keeps u healthy. It sounds if you have some really envious admirers.
And congratulations on your success both times!
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Absolutely. My parents are constantly telling me I'm getting too skinny and half-jokingly asking me if they need to check me into an eating disorder clinic before I hit 85 lbs. I'm 25 and married, by the way, so it's not like I'm a kid, and I'm 122 lbs at 5'5", so I'm not underweight by any means.
I look at my body and wonder what the hell they're talking about. I still have some excess fat, especially in my midsection. I don't have the flat, firm stomach I want, and no part of my body is particularly thin. I just look like a normal person at a healthy weight, I think. There are still improvements to be made, so I try to avoid talking to them about cutting, but that doesn't always work.
It's so frustrating explaining things like lifting, IIFYM, and ongoing fitness goals to people that are content being at an unhealthy weight or just being "skinny" without being strong or fit. They just don't get it, so I tend to keep it to myself unless I'm asked directly.
I don't need people to understand what I'm doing - I just need them to keep their comments about my body to themselves. Just because I'm not fat doesn't mean it's not insulting to say negative things about how I look. In other words, mind ya own damn business!0 -
LyndseyLovesToLift wrote: »Absolutely. My parents are constantly telling me I'm getting too skinny and half-jokingly asking me if they need to check me into an eating disorder clinic before I hit 85 lbs. I'm 25 and married, by the way, so it's not like I'm a kid, and I'm 122 lbs at 5'5", so I'm not underweight by any means.
I look at my body and wonder what the hell they're talking about. I still have some excess fat, especially in my midsection. I don't have the flat, firm stomach I want, and no part of my body is particularly thin. I just look like a normal person at a healthy weight, I think. There are still improvements to be made, so I try to avoid talking to them about cutting, but that doesn't always work.
It's so frustrating explaining things like lifting, IIFYM, and ongoing fitness goals to people that are content being at an unhealthy weight or just being "skinny" without being strong or fit. They just don't get it, so I tend to keep it to myself unless I'm asked directly.
I don't need people to understand what I'm doing - I just need them to keep their comments about my body to themselves. Just because I'm not fat doesn't mean it's not insulting to say negative things about how I look. In other words, mind ya own damn business!
I couldn't agree more!0
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