For a Fat girl, I'm a fox! (apparently.)???

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Replies

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    edited March 2015
    jassoma wrote: »
    He fumbled the ball after making the impossible catch... I'm one of those guys! I probably would have said the exact same thing... only it would have made you feel worse, and it wouldn't even be CLOSE to what I really meant to convey. He was nervous and hadn't rehearsed a GOOD complementary pickup line, and blurted something out that sounded okay to him, but was ultimately an insult. Take his second complement to heart, "He said that was a major bummer and my husband is a lucky guy." I think you should have coffee with him, but make sure it's clear that you're just friends/co-workers.

    Rehearsed pickup lines LOL? Very bad mistake. No need for pickup lines to talk to opposite.
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  • My take is that he probably didn't intend to be offensive. He was probably really nervous and it came out like that.
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
    My take is that he probably didn't intend to be offensive. He was probably really nervous and it came out like that.

    This was my thought, too. He probably meant to compliment you without realizing his comment was a little insenstive. He might have gone home that night, thought over the conversation, and smacked a hand to his face in embarrassment.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    My take is that he probably didn't intend to be offensive. He was probably really nervous and it came out like that.

    This was my thought, too. He probably meant to compliment you without realizing his comment was a little insenstive. He might have gone home that night, thought over the conversation, and smacked a hand to his face in embarrassment.

    We can hope that is what he was feeling. But what I want to know is how did lab guy not see the ring before?

    Did he check?
    Did he care?

    I am at the age now were people can be married and my age so I will look feel do whatever I got to do to see if the ring of block is on the correct finger. People are stupid and fail to put it on the correct finger sometimes.

    Also there has been married women who will give out there number or just take it off. I remember a funny quote that a lady told me which was

    Me: are you married. ( I was playing with her ring)
    her: Oh this little thing. (takes ring off and puts it away)

    Did I feel sorry for the guy? Nope. It was an interesting situation.
  • tinallen863
    tinallen863 Posts: 50 Member
    I know what you mean. I get "you look good for your age". Could do without the "for your age"
  • MrsWQLittle
    MrsWQLittle Posts: 14 Member
    For a big girl? Really? You should have asked him what exactly he was trying to say. I personally would have said, "You are handsome, for an *kitten*."
  • JonKinarthy
    JonKinarthy Posts: 44 Member
    Sounds like he is trying but doesn't know what to do, wouldn't it be nice if he didn't do that to the next girl he asked out. Sounds like YOU should take HIM for coffee, and responsibly educate him on manners.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    My ex was stick-thin and really underweight, and I was a 300+ pound woman. When he first introduced me to his sister she said "you two look like Laurel and Hardy" to which he replied "You're just jealous" and we all laughed and proceeded to have a fun evening. It initially took me by surprise because even though my weight was not an issue I wasn't used to hearing such a direct comment, I was more surprised than offended. During that evening I got to know her more, a woman who just blurts whatever passes through her mind. It was entertaining as hell and I loved that about her. Judging someone based on one sentence is almost as unfair as judging someone based on appearance.
  • zombiegirlfriend
    zombiegirlfriend Posts: 24 Member
    KrysKiss87 wrote: »
    "Listen, I've been wanting to say something for awhile now but hadn't worked up the nerve. I wanted to know if you would let me take you to coffee sometime. I find you very pretty for a big girl and I think you are really attractive."

    No.

    I'm sure he meant it as a compliment, but No.
    You need a man who loves you AND your big body.... not despite it!
    He has bought into the fact that women are supposed to look like the girls in magazines... instead of what they actually do (SIZE 14 is average everyone!)


    You are a beautiful woman. PERIOD.
    Not dispite your size, not besides your size. BEAUTIFUL.

    <3
  • Dragn77
    Dragn77 Posts: 810 Member
    edited March 2015
    newmeadow wrote: »
    I said, "Well, you're not a super model or anything, but I think you're good looking". I obviously failed that test.

    That's a fail? I don't know why. It really is the truth about 99.99% of women. And you said you thought she was good looking. Which you probably do. And, like you said, it's the truth.

    I don't know why something like this would cause a ruckus.

    What a pain in the butt it must be to maneuver around the narcissistic delusions a lot of women have about what people are supposed to think of them. And what is acceptable to tell them when they ask. Tiresome at best.

    Wooow did you just call his wife tiresome with narcissistic delusions?! LoL Well, thats not kind.

    I mean, I dont understand why so angry...its not like she turned into a beast and slayed him or anything lol...actually, he mentioned she was just a girlfriend at the time, and they went on to get married. Sooo, not really a total fail, he doesnt seem angry at his wife, very interesting that you are..hrmm!!!

    I got from it that he felt he could have expressed better what he thought about her beauty, that he was lucky to have her rather than to say shes no supermodel. :blush:

  • beachhouse758
    beachhouse758 Posts: 371 Member
    KrysKiss87 wrote: »

    Though I am flattered that this handsome gentlemen was attracted to my milkshake which does in fact bring all the boys to the yard,(because I'm hella sexy yo)

    I love this :)

  • brittanystonecypher
    brittanystonecypher Posts: 12 Member
    Dragn77 wrote: »
    Thats a backhanded compliment if I ever heard one... Reminds me of those "dating coach" guys, the slimey ones, who teach this stuff...to give a compliment and then take it back "That dress looks hot on you... My grandmother has curtains that look like that"

    Yeah, you're not over reacting, hot lab guy would be jerk lab guy after that LoL Maybe hes just clueless yeah, but...thats a bit much.

    I was thinking the exact same thing!
  • brittanystonecypher
    brittanystonecypher Posts: 12 Member
    I was told the exact same thing by a girl one night. She said "omg you are gorgeous to be a bigger girl!". I was like, no booh, I'm gorgeous period. She was bigger too might I add. Wouldn't see like to see me skinny then
  • landfish wrote: »
    I've never heard the "you're ok for a fat dude" thing. My case is a little different. I have burn scars on my face (left side if you look at this picture carefully). I've gotten everything from "I felt bad about my acne until I met you" to "I never notice it." Uh, yeah.

    OT: is that a mandalin tat on your arm? I can't tell if it is a mandalin or dulcimer. My daughter is playing banjo as I type this. Love the mandalin and banjo.
  • Actually now that I think of it, it looks reminds me of Brian Setzer's guitar. Or it is a bass? What do I know. The whole family plays stringed instruments except me. I'm the dancer...LOL.
  • crazyjerseygirl
    crazyjerseygirl Posts: 1,252 Member
    Hrm. Toughy there.
    As a professional lab rat I'm going to have to question the tone. The fact that he did it in the elevator makes me think he had nerves, and nerves make you say dumb stuff.
    I'd let it go. My guess in knowing and working with lab rats is this:

    We didn't choose a life of working with bacteria/chemicals/molecules because we were smooth.

    So I dunno I'd be complimented.
    Unless he said it like a jerk face. Then he's a jerk face
  • PaulaWallaDingDong
    PaulaWallaDingDong Posts: 4,641 Member
    sjadev1108 wrote: »
    Ahhhh should've been quicker and said "you're really cute too, for a moron"......screw that dude, he obviously has issues and I feel bad for the girl that feels bad enough about herself to go for coffee with him

    Beat me to it, only I was going to say "dip$h1t."
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    I say stupid stuff quite frequently (I'm one of those people that lacks a filter and is totally socially awkward). I would seriously hope that no one would make a decision on my character or the type of person I am based on one interaction. They'd be missing out, because I'm pretty rad :)

    I can't really opine on the guy in the OP - I don't know his intent, but I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings.
  • blktngldhrt
    blktngldhrt Posts: 1,053 Member

    We didn't choose a life of working with bacteria/chemicals/molecules because we were smooth.

    Hahaha. How true this is. I've yet to work with a charismatic, smooth talker, in the lab.

    and as I scientist myself, I also have trouble speaking to people.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member

    We didn't choose a life of working with bacteria/chemicals/molecules because we were smooth.

    Hahaha. How true this is. I've yet to work with a charismatic, smooth talker, in the lab.

    and as I scientist myself, I also have trouble speaking to people.

    My husband is a scientist, and he's also on the autism spectrum (Asperger's), so he's naturally very socially awkward, and I asked him what he thought of this guy's comment.

    He said, "Only someone who wants to get punched in the face would ever say something like that. Even I know that."

  • kimberlynicole79
    kimberlynicole79 Posts: 52 Member
    Yea he probably didn't realize how inappropriate that was. Its like saying hey if there were a group of big girls you would be a ten but next to thinner women you probably wont rank just because you are overweight even if all the smaller women were annoying or something like that.
    My bf says that just because someone is overweight doesn't make them unattractive which made me feel better since I am overweight.

    I hope he realizes and learns from that comment.
  • Slacker16
    Slacker16 Posts: 1,184 Member
    Meh.

    I was on a coffee date with a girl once and, after she told me she used to sing in the choir as a kid (catholic), I asked her if her priest molested her. Sounded funny in my head...

    You're overreacting.
  • landfish
    landfish Posts: 255 Member
    Actually now that I think of it, it looks reminds me of Brian Setzer's guitar. Or it is a bass? What do I know. The whole family plays stringed instruments except me. I'm the dancer...LOL.

    Brian Setzer plays Gretsch Hollow Body guitars. If they get all uppity you can throw that at them.
  • itstimeRK
    itstimeRK Posts: 112 Member
    royaldrea wrote: »
    It wasn't a complimentary compliment so don't feel guilty about feeling some type of way about it. It just means that he would ordinarily find someone like you unattractive, and is surprised that he doesn't in this case. If you were to date him, I'm sure there would be a lot more "socially awkward" comments coming your way, as he would constantly be in awe of the fact that he is open-minded enough to date a big girl, and able to look past your flaws to see the real you (your real face). Either that or secretly ashamed of himself and would take it out on you sometimes.

    I feel the same way about people who say "you're pretty for a black girl" or "for a tall girl I think you're attractive". Keep your garbage compliment to yourself, please and thanks, and don't do me any favours.

    This is exactly what I was thinking as I was reading through the comments.
  • landfish wrote: »
    Actually now that I think of it, it looks reminds me of Brian Setzer's guitar. Or it is a bass? What do I know. The whole family plays stringed instruments except me. I'm the dancer...LOL.

    Brian Setzer plays Gretsch Hollow Body guitars. If they get all uppity you can throw that at them.

    I'll try to remember that. LOL.