Coworker's "weight loss" journey gone too far (aka "Don't force your lifestyle change on others")

PeachyPlum

This dude? Has been driving me nuts. I'm all about somebody trying to get healthy. I am. If you tell me you want to eat right and exercise more, I will be the first one to cheer you on. For real.

But when you come in to work every day with a 1lb can of honey roasted peanuts which you proceed to eat for breakfast (by tossing them up into the air and catching them in your mouth like a Labrador), chewing with your mouth open and telling everyone how peanuts are high in protein so this is a really healthy breakfast? You go ahead and eat your 2500 calorie sugar coated breakfast. Imma just put my headphones in, mmmkay?

And when you show up wearing new sneakers and you tell us how these sneakers are going to help you lose weight because now you don't mind walking ALL THE WAY to the water cooler instead of the soda machine? You need to shut up with that.

And when the company treats us to lunch at a local chain restaurant and everyone *else* at the table says "No, I don't want an appetizer, I'm watching what I eat" and then you order the chicken tenders, fried cheese, and loaded nachos? YOU need to eat all of them. Don't start pushing the plates in people's faces (and in the case of the lady sitting beside me, actually scooping appetizers onto her plate as she repeatedly told him no) and then saying "You guys I am trying to lose weight, if you don't help me eat this you are sabotaging my diet." Don't. I can't exercise your self control for you. Grow up.

And when you come into the office and turn the heat down to 60 degrees because you read that being cold helps you burn more calories as your body tries to maintain temperature? Please don't be surprised when I lose my temper at you. Because I? Burn calories with my running shoes on. The guy who sits next to you? Is a competitive cyclist. The other lady? Is going through ****ing CHEMO and doesn't need to be any LESS comfortable than she already has to be.

I just... I can't even. Has anyone else dealt with someone like this? Because I'm normally really nice and can ignore just about anything, but I'm about to Hulk out on this guy.

Sued0nim

Copy and paste into a memo and email it to him

chezzabelle82

Gosh you are making me wanna punch him in the face, well done for keeping your cool (so far)

jadezia

^ That.
Someone needs to say something to him, but it should probably come from someone who is supportive of him trying to be healthier rather than someone who would completely crap on what he's trying to do. Just tell him to tone it down.

Though if someone was touching my plate and going near my food, I would have lost it right then and there. Bless that lady for putting up with his bull.

Could also loosen his chair so the next time he leans back to catch his food in his mouth, it tips over. That could be taking it too far, though...

SarahKhristan

Unfortunately it is nearly impossible to change the mind of someone who is thoughtless, self-absorbed, and rather douche-y. I second what rabbitjb posted: send this in a memo to him.

girlviernes

What a dbag!

mkakids

That's ridiculous and obnoxious.....and a large part of the reason why I generally dislike most people.

PeachyPlum

In fairness, I already hate this guy with a passion.

He has zero boundaries, and before he started "trying" to lose weight he used to eat a bunch of junk food in the office and would try to forcibly share, even though nobody else here eats much junk.

He would literally unwrap a mini peanut butter cup for you and hold it on his outstretched palm in front of your nose, like feeding a sugar cube to a pony.

He's been written up twice for harassing me (in non food related ways), and I try to ignore him as much as possible. But this? Makes it almost impossible.

Thermostat has been fixed, and I explained that if it's adjusted again, HR will have to mediate on an appropriate temperature. Headphones are in. Deep breaths are being taken.

Need2Exerc1se

I have had someone put appetizers on my plate after I said I didn't want any. They also complained about the wasted food when it was still there uneaten when the waitress came to remove the plates for the next course. I just smiled and said I hadn't touched the plate or food so please help yourself.

Maries_wine_calories

girlviernes wrote: »

What a dbag!

...someone buy this guy the t-shirt already.

sjadev1108

Not exactly experiencing this, but I do have this lady at work that always talks to me about weight loss (she's "different" so I think she is just looking for a way to relate), which is absolutely fine. I research a ton, and have learned a ton, and have had great success so far (21 pounds in 8 weeks). However, all she does is talk!!! Tells me all about her fitbit and asks "did you get your steps today?" I responded yes, I always get my 10,000 and usually between 5-8,000 more.....she looks shocked and says "oh I never go over my goal", like I was ridiculous LOL. Or she'll talk to me about food and eating right and then show up at lunch with a HUGE bowl of pasta and tell me how she had her 500+ calorie shake for breakfast. Then explain how she ate all the chocolate in her house (bags of chocolate chips in one sitting, etc) from the holidays etc. in one week just to "get it out of there". I just get frustrated, which is silly I know, but why talk to me about your "weight loss journey" when there is no weight loss and you even complain about gaining?? Either find another avenue of conversation with me, or start listening!!!! Obviously this is just a vent, because I will continue to listen to how she dances around her living room to get her final steps for the day and then stick to my own journey and move on.....but I agree it's annoying when there are people who are REALLY trying.

EvanKeel

Putting on my psych 101 hat, he's clearly got some insecurity issues that are forcing him to try way, way too hard to be the cool guy---ensuring that he will never be the cool guy. There is no way to deal with him (about anything) that won't be awkward and/or frustrating for someone.

Alternatively he just needs to grow up.

kristydi

I don't have any helpful ideas, just commiseration. I used to work with a lady who was forever trying to lose weight through various different diets. We (coworkers) used to take turns sitting near her at lunch since no one could stand it for long. She would have constant commentary on everyone's lunches.
"Do you have any idea how many points are in that pizza? My green beans are 0 points."
"I wish I could eat such fattening things, but I have to be good"

And on and on and on. She was beyond annoying. Thankfully we were only in the same room a few times a day.

Op I hope this guy either catches a clue or transfers or something soon.

dawnmcneil10

I'm feeling grumpy and mean today so I say put a freakin shock collar on him and zap him for each inappropriate behavior he exhibits.
Doesn't exactly help your situation but maybe my bit of evil gave you a giggle.

JenAndSome

My office has a couple of those. Clueless self centered people who love to talk about themselves and the changes they are making while continuing to actually make not so great decisions and expecting everyone to cheer them on in their ignorance. I am just glad that everyone here already knows me and doesn't expect me to kiss their butts.

esjones12

Sounds like someone just needs to flip on him a bit. I bet your coworkers will back you up if he complains to HR...lol.

Just ignore him and do your work. At least you can have headphones!

stealthq

PeachyPlum wrote: »

In fairness, I already hate this guy with a passion.

He has zero boundaries, and before he started "trying" to lose weight he used to eat a bunch of junk food in the office and would try to forcibly share, even though nobody else here eats much junk.

He would literally unwrap a mini peanut butter cup for you and hold it on his outstretched palm in front of your nose, like feeding a sugar cube to a pony.

He's been written up twice for harassing me (in non food related ways), and I try to ignore him as much as possible. But this? Makes it almost impossible.

Thermostat has been fixed, and I explained that if it's adjusted again, HR will have to mediate on an appropriate temperature. Headphones are in. Deep breaths are being taken.

The bolded would have been the end of it for me. He would get one private rebuff, and after that it would have been visits to both his supervisor and HR if I were not his supervisor, and formal write-ups if I were.

Even people who don't understand innate boundaries will often respect them if clear rules are made. But if he won't follow those, or is so clueless that every one must be spelled out in technicolor then he has no place in a business environment.

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

He sounds like a charming fellow

Mr_Knight

PeachyPlum wrote: »

And when you show up wearing new sneakers and you tell us how these sneakers are going to help you lose weight because now you don't mind walking ALL THE WAY to the water cooler instead of the soda machine? You need to shut up with that.

I'm sorry, but I can't really tell....is this for real, or an episode of "The Office"?

PeachyPlum

Mr_Knight wrote: »

PeachyPlum wrote: »

And when you show up wearing new sneakers and you tell us how these sneakers are going to help you lose weight because now you don't mind walking ALL THE WAY to the water cooler instead of the soda machine? You need to shut up with that.

I'm sorry, but I can't really tell....is this for real, or an episode of "The Office"?

Oh, it's for real. He basically said that with the new sneakers, he'll be willing to walk farther. Not, like GO OUTSIDE and walk for fitness purposes. Just... stop taking the laziest available option. But he'll quit parking in the visitor's parking right beside the front door, and park where we are supposed to park. And he'll walk to the water cooler.

I wonder if he'll stop sending one of our technicians to fetch his stuff off the printer?

Mr_Knight

Wow. This deserves to be a screenplay.

At some point - and I say this as a boss - it's really your bosses job to deal with this crap. Maybe one private conversation with the imbecile, and that's that. Literally shoving food in people's faces is not cool anywhere other than at grandma's table, and that's only because there's two generations of wombing connecting you....

shamcd

Yep, some managerial or HR intervention is definitely needed in this case. Especially considering this guy has a history of harrassment, and write ups don't seem to do much to reign in his attitude.

peachyfuzzle

I would have filed a complaint with HR long before now.

jgnatca

He's oblivious. He won't notice unless the directions are spelled out in loud Neon. He's not allowed to touch the thermostat, and keep his snacks to himself.

His crazy food choices and snazzy sneakers are his own affair. Let him live his delusion.

sgthaggard

I would be tempted to ask him how much he has lost but I would also be afraid that showing interest would open doors that would be hard to close.

WinoGelato

Use some of these tactics in retaliation:

SBRRepeat

Oh heck no, this guy would be a goner if I had to work in close proximity to him. I love having my own office far far away from my coworkers (I work in a hospital and my office is in a weird empty corridor between two nursing units)

Nurses have the most shockingly bad theories on weight loss, so I avoid those conversations like the plague. When I worked on the floor it took all my effort to ignore the juice cleanse conversations- we have one nurse who does the miralax and Gatorade diet about once a month. That's the cocktail they give as bowel prep for colonoscopy patients... There's another one who is on a low carb diet but she eats enormous quantities of goetta, sausage, gravy, and tortillas (because they're flat, so no carbs, right?)

Now I just hide in my office until I want to talk to someone.

brendak76

sgthaggard wrote: »

I would be tempted to ask him how much he has lost but I would also be afraid that showing interest would open doors that would be hard to close.

LOL!!

JenniDaisy

Comiserations OP, I have the opposite problem my boss is a huuuge fat guy, who has been on weight watchers for like 5 years and is in a continuous cycle of losing 40lbs, putting it back on, losing 40lbs, putting it back on. I moved jobs recently to something that requires printing off reports, and he tried to make me move desks so I wouldn't have to walk to the printer, i'd only need to lean over. My current desks is 5 steps away from the printer, 5 STEPS.
I told him I'm training for a marathon, 5 steps does not bother me!

tekkiechikk

This guy is beyond fixing. Sounds like A) he likes to hear himself talk way too much, and B ) he has way too much time on his hands.

Get management involved, they may not realize they've got a bigger problem on their hands than a pest because I'm betting it shows in his work, too.

mrsswisspea

I can do nothing buy gawk at the stories you have shared about this guy. He must be such a huge problem for everyone in your workplace.