Husband won't let me get a dog unless I lose 10 lbs
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PFFFT. When people ask me if I "let" my husband do this or that, I like to reply, "I'm his wife, not his warden."
Same here. If you really want a dog, and you're willing to take the lead in taking care of it... he has no business placing a weight loss condition on it. I can just imagine if I wanted to get my hair highlighted or something, and my husband said, "IF you lose ten pounds!"
They'd never find his body.
Absolutely! I would never "take orders" from my husband!0 -
Solution:
Wait until husband goes to work. Pack up 7 year old. Go to your local humane society/animal shelter. Pick out dog and let child name it. Bring home dog.
TADAA! Dog.
If I lived in a place where I could get a dog, I would have done this already.0 -
Tell him the dog is going to be your exercise partner.
This. If he's so big on exercise, tell him he can run with the dog as well. I have 2 dogs, though one lives with me and one lives with my aunt (complicated story). I currently live with my uncle and run with his Blue Pitbull, and my Aussie. It's a great incentive to get you moving. Sometimes if I don't feel like running or walking, I do it anyway cause the dogs need it.0 -
My dog is my exercise partner. I've lost more weight by walking the dog than anything else.
Dogs will get you out and socializing as well the exercise.0 -
he has no business placing a weight loss condition on it.
He didn't place the condition on it - he agreed to a deal that she proposed.
Stick to the deal.
You already tried to get out of the deal that you proposed - he declined and counter-offered with "stick to an exercise plan".
Either lose the 10 lbs or stick to an exercise plan and then get your dog.
While, from your side of this, your husband seems like a piece of work - you should keep deals that you make. And having a dog always involves the whole family so I think he should get some say in it.0 -
Please don't put a dog in the mix of this co-dependent relationship. You have way bigger issues to worry about and the dog will end up suffering.
LOL I like how you're more concerned about a dog suffering due to the relationship than the child OP mentioned.0 -
Tell him the dog is going to be your exercise partner.
This. If he's so big on exercise, tell him he can run with the dog as well. I have 2 dogs, though one lives with me and one lives with my aunt (complicated story). I currently live with my uncle and run with his Blue Pitbull, and my Aussie. It's a great incentive to get you moving. Sometimes if I don't feel like running or walking, I do it anyway cause the dogs need it.
exactly.
but don't count on your husband helping out at all with the dog, even if it would be beneficial for him to run with it.
Make sure you are prepared to exercise the dog yourself.0 -
It's times like these I'm glad to be single. I don't let anyone manipulate or bribe me and I don't ask anyone's "permission". Besides, as mentioned, you actually get more exercise when you own a dog.
I hate living without a dog. I refuse to live without a dog. It's much easier to live without a husband.0 -
Holy crap. I could not be married to your husband. Major control issues. If this was me...I would just get the dog and tell him to shut the **** up and get over it. He has been treating you pretty rudely anyways, so don't feel bad.0
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If you want to get a dog - you and your husband should agree on getting one. It shouldn't be a reward or a penalty for either one of you meeting or not meeting some sort of arbitrary criteria. A dog is not like a prize you win at the fair. It is a member of your family, and everyone in your family needs to be ready to accept them and adapt to them.
I don't think your family is ready for a dog - sorry.0 -
My husband got me a dog and she was my exercise partner. Unfortunately she passed away last year from stomach cancer
(she was a rescue and was a bred over and over for five years. She was rescued from a puppy mill and all the dogs from the mill have the same condition. When we got her fixed they had found a mass, but then it disappeared. They think it moved. She was a basset hound and was 8 when she passed). ever since, I have been wanting another dog, my husband wants another cat (on top of the 2 kitties we have) so I told him "no more cats until i get a dog" he says "no more dogs, only kitties". :laugh: Our 16 month old doesn't know what to think.
Your husband sounds controlling and honestly sounds like if he doesn't get help then its going to get ugly.
Also, doggies are best friends :happy: I grew up with dogs so I understand how that goes (I had a doberman and a toy poodle. Then after we moved to Ashland, we got a mini toy).0 -
Please don't put a dog in the mix of this co-dependent relationship. You have way bigger issues to worry about and the dog will end up suffering.
LOL I like how you're more concerned about a dog suffering due to the relationship than the child OP mentioned.
Yes, I am. And damn proud of it.0 -
This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^!!! Really a size 4-6 and he thinks you have a weight problem!! :explode: This is a marriage, it's a spousal abuse!!! Dogs don't judge you, Get the dog. The exercise that comes along with it is only a bonus!!Get the dog, dump the husband. Dogs will love you unconditionally. Although, you are tiny already! I really want to smack him.0 -
Lose well over 100lbs by dumping that man! Tell him to get in therapy and get your dog!!0
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He works out during his lunch hour and lately comes home and rides the exercise bike for another 30 minutes or so. He has all kinds of food restrictions (gluten free, dairy free) that are not based on true allergies. He recently told me that he aims to eat 1200 calories a day
Lol sounds like half of the posts on this forum, does he have an MFP account?0 -
Also, don't adopt or foster a dog unless everybody in the house is in agreement about the dog coming to live with your family. Dogs are emotional creatures that will pick up on the arguments and tension -- and could be the focus of anger if someone doesn't want it. Everybody should be on board first.
Really awful of your husband to boss you around like that. That type of behavior demeans you and will ruin your self-confidence. You have the right to be treated in a respectful manner. Read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. Ordering another adult around and trying to control you is abuse.0 -
Please don't put a dog in the mix of this co-dependent relationship. You have way bigger issues to worry about and the dog will end up suffering.
LOL I like how you're more concerned about a dog suffering due to the relationship than the child OP mentioned.
Yes, I am. And damn proud of it.
I agree with you.0 -
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And maybe I'm missing something but the 'losing 10lbs' part was actually your idea according to your post.
Maybe he just really doesn't want a dog......but of course this is MFP ad everyone is told their husband is an abuser and they should break up their whole family over every single comment or disagreement,0 -
I know a way you could lose well over a hundred pounds AND get a dog.
Get rid of your husband.
I'm serious.0 -
Sounds like you need to lose more than 10 pounds…….How much does your husband weigh?
Ditch the control freak and get a dog. Life’s too short to live by someone else’s rules. I’ve been there, done that and let me tell you once you learn to regain control of your own life, life is awesome. Move forward and don’t look back.0 -
This isn't about your weight. This is about something much deeper that this forum can't quite put a finger on because relationships are always so complicated. I'm with the posters who suggested therapy.
Tell you husband to eat some ice cream and hamburger, by the way. 6' and he's limiting himself at 1200? I'm 5'2 and I eat a lot more than that. Also, it seems you are at a healthy weight. Don't let anyone give you a complex or damage your self-esteem.0 -
Get the dog, dump the husband. Dogs will love you unconditionally. Although, you are tiny already! I really want to smack him.
Definitely!
I respect my man's opinion, and we try to please each other, but no way in hell would either if us be imposing a condition like that!
^^Agreed.
I work with two animal rescue organizations, so I would first off like to say that you for adopting.fostering or at least wanting to, and not shopping for a dog.
Second, my boyfriend wants to rescue them all, so I'm in the opposite boat. But if I were in your shoes I would really think over this marriage as this is something you are passionate about, and it seems he doesn't care, and you are tiny enough already honey, and if he's being greedy because you wants you to lose weight than he has major issues.
Even at my heaviest my boyfriend NEVER made conditions where I had to lose the weight. NEVER.0 -
This man is a control freak. Not a good thing! There are problems here larger than pets and weight loss.0
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Ugh...I'm no counselor, but this really makes me feel icky. I'm so sorry he's putting you in this position, and like just about everyone else said, what he's doing is not healthy for your relationship. You want a dog (I'm guessing) for things like companionship and mutual love. He wants you to lose weight for.....what, exactly? At your starting weight (assuming no extraneous problems) you're healthy already. Whatever his intentions (control?), I don't like where this is headed and feel really strongly that you shouldn't "meet his conditions" for the sake of meeting his conditions.
I have to say I disagree with all the posts saying you should get a dog anyway - I wouldn't bring a pet into this situation if I were you. I think you and your husband need some professional help to work things out first - for the sake of both of you, your child, and any potential furry family members down the road.0 -
Lose him, get the dog!0
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This ^^^Holy crap. I could not be married to your husband. Major control issues. If this was me...I would just get the dog and tell him to shut the **** up and get over it. He has been treating you pretty rudely anyways, so don't feel bad.
You deserve better!0 -
sucky0
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And maybe I'm missing something but the 'losing 10lbs' part was actually your idea according to your post.
Maybe he just really doesn't want a dog......but of course this is MFP ad everyone is told their husband is an abuser and they should break up their whole family over every single comment or disagreement,
true, she made the deal, and should stick to it, but truly she does not NEED to lose the weight and probably only suggested the deal because he treats her like a child so often that her brain is trained to reply like a child. Also because he has conditioned her to thinking she needs to lose the weight.
Normally i would say stick to your word, but in this case i think there is a bit more than that involved.0 -
Seems like you are both a controlling couple.
You want a dog and are trying to control him with your whining (sorry but it seems true(
He is trying to control you with asking that you stick to your bargain of weight loss.
IMO I think you both need to work on your relationship before you add a dog into the equation.
Once the dog arrives you will (forecast) put on weight, hubby will take a back seat in your mind, hubby in his mind will feel left out even more...relationship will go t*ts up.
You and dog will live happily ever after, you will not lose weight and you will lose your hubby.0
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