Husband won't let me get a dog unless I lose 10 lbs

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  • elsh1700
    elsh1700 Posts: 17
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    I agree with the above comment. I think your husband has a bit of an obsession, and its one thing to be obsessive with his own body but its another to be forcing his ideas onto you! What happens if you have children? Will he force his health obsession on them too?? That is a recipe for disaster!

    Throughout my teens I was constantly harassed by my mother about my weight. (I was chubby from 13)
    While I look back now and realize she was just trying to help me be healthy, I know she was going about it the wrong way.
    I remember her yelling at me once "your never going to get a boyfriend coz your fat" "boys dont like fat girls" "how do you think I feel having the fattest daughter in our church"

    This kind of nonconstructive criticism led to;
    'Bulimia '
    'Going of the rails' and being used and abused by guys (I thought no one would ever love me because 'I was fat' - thanks mum!)
    a severe lack of self confidence
    and a constant obsession/phobia about putting on weight

    My husband constantly tells me I am obsessive about my weight (along with his family). He thinks I am beautiful the way I am but I cant always see it. I am lucky to have such a supportive husband but I really feel for you! I never comment about what my husband or daughter eats as my obsession is really only about myself.... I do however make sure the cupboards and meals are as healthy as possible. Health is important to me.

    One thing I vow is that I will NEVER be negative about my children's weight, if weight becomes a problem I will not critisise them like I was criticised as I never want them to have the same problems as..I want them to be happy in their skin!!!

    Sorry if I have made this about me but I just thought this reminds me of my story with my mother!!!

    Dont let your husband give you an eating disorder!!!! Just be yourself & be happy!!!!

    P.S My two sisters also have weight obsessions due to our upbringing, even though the are skinny and beautiful!
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
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    It sounds like there are much bigger issues here than whether or not you should get a dog. I think that you should both see a counselor regarding control issues and your differences in thought on diet and fitness (not saying anyone is right or wrong, just that you seem very opposite in that respect.) Getting the dog might make you feel better short-term, but the other differences really need to be resolved to be happy long term.
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Drop the husband, get the dog.
  • DTJBMcT
    DTJBMcT Posts: 48 Member
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    PFFFT. When people ask me if I "let" my husband do this or that, I like to reply, "I'm his wife, not his warden."

    Same here. If you really want a dog, and you're willing to take the lead in taking care of it... he has no business placing a weight loss condition on it. I can just imagine if I wanted to get my hair highlighted or something, and my husband said, "IF you lose ten pounds!"

    They'd never find his body.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
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    You already have a dog..................it's your husband.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • VitaBailey
    VitaBailey Posts: 271 Member
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    Please don't put a dog in the mix of this co-dependent relationship. You have way bigger issues to worry about and the dog will end up suffering.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    Get the dog, dump the husband. Dogs will love you unconditionally. Although, you are tiny already! I really want to smack him.

    For real. Your husband sounds like a real winner.
  • DTJBMcT
    DTJBMcT Posts: 48 Member
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    P.S. - If I weighed what you did, I'd walk around all day butt nekkid with a rose between my teeth. Lose ten pounds? FROM WHERE?

    Send your husband to me. I'll give that boy a "Come to Jesus Meeting" he won't soon forget, and he'll buy you that dog and say, "Thank you, ma'am" to you as he does it. That boy needs an attitude adjustment, southern girl style.

    :::SMH:::
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    I don't think this is the right place for you to be asking this. I think you and your husband need to seek professional help not the opinions of rank amateurs like us.

    ^^^ I agree with this comment. It sounds like your husband is playing the father and you are the child.

    Heck, the dog would help you lose weight because you'd be walking it.
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    PFFFT. When people ask me if I "let" my husband do this or that, I like to reply, "I'm his wife, not his warden."

    Same here. If you really want a dog, and you're willing to take the lead in taking care of it... he has no business placing a weight loss condition on it. I can just imagine if I wanted to get my hair highlighted or something, and my husband said, "IF you lose ten pounds!"

    They'd never find his body.

    Lmao
    :drinker:
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    PFFFT. When people ask me if I "let" my husband do this or that, I like to reply, "I'm his wife, not his warden."

    Same here. If you really want a dog, and you're willing to take the lead in taking care of it... he has no business placing a weight loss condition on it. I can just imagine if I wanted to get my hair highlighted or something, and my husband said, "IF you lose ten pounds!"

    They'd never find his body.


    Absolutely! I would never "take orders" from my husband!
  • ThatSoundsHard
    ThatSoundsHard Posts: 475 Member
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    Solution:
    Wait until husband goes to work. Pack up 7 year old. Go to your local humane society/animal shelter. Pick out dog and let child name it. Bring home dog.

    TADAA! Dog.
    If I lived in a place where I could get a dog, I would have done this already.
  • tcraw15
    tcraw15 Posts: 223 Member
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    Tell him the dog is going to be your exercise partner.

    This. If he's so big on exercise, tell him he can run with the dog as well. I have 2 dogs, though one lives with me and one lives with my aunt (complicated story). I currently live with my uncle and run with his Blue Pitbull, and my Aussie. It's a great incentive to get you moving. Sometimes if I don't feel like running or walking, I do it anyway cause the dogs need it.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    My dog is my exercise partner. I've lost more weight by walking the dog than anything else.
    Dogs will get you out and socializing as well the exercise.
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    he has no business placing a weight loss condition on it.

    He didn't place the condition on it - he agreed to a deal that she proposed.

    Stick to the deal.

    You already tried to get out of the deal that you proposed - he declined and counter-offered with "stick to an exercise plan".

    Either lose the 10 lbs or stick to an exercise plan and then get your dog.

    While, from your side of this, your husband seems like a piece of work - you should keep deals that you make. And having a dog always involves the whole family so I think he should get some say in it.
  • ThatSoundsHard
    ThatSoundsHard Posts: 475 Member
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    Please don't put a dog in the mix of this co-dependent relationship. You have way bigger issues to worry about and the dog will end up suffering.


    LOL I like how you're more concerned about a dog suffering due to the relationship than the child OP mentioned.
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    Tell him the dog is going to be your exercise partner.

    This. If he's so big on exercise, tell him he can run with the dog as well. I have 2 dogs, though one lives with me and one lives with my aunt (complicated story). I currently live with my uncle and run with his Blue Pitbull, and my Aussie. It's a great incentive to get you moving. Sometimes if I don't feel like running or walking, I do it anyway cause the dogs need it.

    exactly.
    but don't count on your husband helping out at all with the dog, even if it would be beneficial for him to run with it.

    Make sure you are prepared to exercise the dog yourself.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    It's times like these I'm glad to be single. I don't let anyone manipulate or bribe me and I don't ask anyone's "permission". Besides, as mentioned, you actually get more exercise when you own a dog.

    I hate living without a dog. I refuse to live without a dog. It's much easier to live without a husband.
  • GnomeLove
    GnomeLove Posts: 379
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    Holy crap. I could not be married to your husband. Major control issues. If this was me...I would just get the dog and tell him to shut the **** up and get over it. He has been treating you pretty rudely anyways, so don't feel bad.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    If you want to get a dog - you and your husband should agree on getting one. It shouldn't be a reward or a penalty for either one of you meeting or not meeting some sort of arbitrary criteria. A dog is not like a prize you win at the fair. It is a member of your family, and everyone in your family needs to be ready to accept them and adapt to them.

    I don't think your family is ready for a dog - sorry.

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