Question about these message boards...

HappyAZWife

I have gone through some of the threads and notice there is so much ugliness. Are all of the threads like this? I've only read a few and everyone has people being insulting, berating, and down right vicious.

Do "you" use the boards to ask questions, in general, or is it best to stay out of them?

I was hoping that things would be different here. I was hoping for a place that fostered a supportive, communicative environment, but it seems the same as everywhere else online. Sad. I really hope I just found a few nasty threads, not being the norm.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Afura

Not everyone gets that way, I think some people are frustrated when someone gives incorrect advise or information instead of disagreeing it turns into an argument. I like to read a lot of the posts, but just ignore the rabble rousers.

KaysKidz

Nope. It's how it is. They don't want to sugar coat it and tell it like it is. They don't want to make you feel good about your choices, excuses etc. They will tell you if you are doing it wrong (in their eyes). No ifs and or big butts about it.

aaliceinw

There are a lot of posts that are positive but I've noticed it get's ugly when someone either gives bad advice or when the OP asks a question that has been asked hundreds of times already. If the post is too ugly, I just leave and find something more inspirational.

debrakgoogins

The forums can be a fantastic source of information though. Don't give up on them. I have learned to do my research before posting a question. Some of the people can get down right mean, especially with subjects like clean eating or IIFYM. When a thread becomes dark and ugly, I just move on. I look at who posts uplifting, positive, informative answers and friend them. I try to surround myself with the positive people!

RaeBeeBaby

Like many online communities there are negative people and even trolls. However, there are many, many supportive people on MFP. A lot of times people are just giving their best and honest advice and it may come across as being mean or negative.

You CAN find friends and a supportive environment here. You might want to join a few groups (or even create one) for like-minded people who might have similar weight loss goals or eating plans, etc.

Personally, I post on the general forum with opinions and sometimes advice, but I rarely start a thread or ask questions. I will do that on my friend's newsfeed or in a group.

diannethegeek

There are some hot button topics here that tend to get out of hand. There are also a lot of people who prefer to correct misinformation, and often not in a unicorns and sparkles kind of way. There are also also a ton of really helpful posters and good advice. And there are posters who prefer to argue with that advice and or call the advice givers names if they don't like the answers or tone.

You'll get a lot of opinions in this thread. Some people will tell you that everyone here is terrible. Others will say there's no rudeness and it's all just meant to be humorous. At least one person will tell you that you're taking the internet too seriously and at least one person will insult every single poster here. You'll get a lot of back and forth and eventually this thread will probably be closed.

I suppose in the end it's up to you to decide whether or not these boards are for you. If they aren't, I hope that you'll explore the groups or at least gather up a group of like-minded friends who can help you through all of this.

cdn_beaver

There is a lot of negativity here so I don't read and post in the main forums often. It's best to join smaller targeted groups to find the helpful, motivating people.
I just don't understand the point of the people who spend all day on here and post negative comments. Newbie asking a question that's been asked hundreds of times already? DON'T read the thread. Why bother wasting your time with typing out a vicious response? I don't get it.

bennettinfinity

If disagreement qualifies as 'ugliness' to your way of thinking, I'd avoid the forums - they're full of disagreement. But if you are genuinely curious about a topic and want to find differing points of view as potential launching points for your own independent research, dive in...

As some of the earlier posters have stated, the hot-button topics get pretty heated and the questions that have been asked literally thousands of times will likely not solicit sugar-coated responses. Bad information and misinformation will be attacked with extreme prejudice.

Despite that, there's a lot of great information - you just have to use your internal filter... take the pieces that might apply to you and leave the rest (including the angst) behind.

ginny92802

Message board etiquette in general is to kind of look around a bit and ready stickies before you jump right in and ask a question. Or, search and see if this question has been asked 15 times and most of the threads turned into a knock down drag out. So yeah, people get annoyed by the same question being asked multiple times A DAY, and especially when people get pissy and butthurt about not getting the answer they wanted to hear. I think if you give it time you'll appreciate the "meanies" a bit more. They really are only trying to help. Usually it's the misinformed person who gets hostile and argumentative about it.

ew_david

I lurked the boards for a good 6 months before I uttered a peep. The forums are what you make of them: you can weed out the BS and get solid info or you can be appalled about behaviors you see and get nothing.

skullshank

it's friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday!

anyone else get bingo?

goingforahundred

I don't ask people anything on the forums. If I want to know something or need advice I will post that to my newsfeed and get it from the friends I have added, or I will read posts in the forum that others have asked. I don't put myself out there for the vultures to swoop down upon. I think certain people just get off on being mean, and they disguise it as being honest or not pulling any punches, not sugar coating it. Whatever, it's all a bunch of bs. Surround yourself with people who are not only able to give advice, but that have some tact about them, too. Good luck!

EddieHaskell97

Chit-Chat is full of bored trolls.


Look to the more specific areas for genuine responses.

ninerbuff

As with anything in life, there will be subjective views based on experience. How the boards are perceived is usually going to be assessed on how you personally are.

If all else fails, just listen to me. I know my schnizz.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

1princesswarrior

I've started topics and been attacked that I meant to be motivational and then started topics that I thought would end up with a dumpster fire that I received a lot of support from. It all depends on the day, time, sometimes the moon cycle (only somewhat kidding here), etc. A lot of it depends on your wording.

When I respond no matter what the topic I am not judgmental and try to support my opinions with facts from literature or links to other forums that have literature or a plethera of good information.

Like Dianne said, there are a lot of topics that will set off a s***storm around here and also a lot of questions that could be answered in the introductory information or by using the search function in the forums. At the same time there are a lot of people that are very "to the point" people who come off as snarky or "mean" when in fact they are actually full of good information but they do not sugarcoat anything and will not validate someone doing something dangerous.

I would suggest reading many forums and getting a feel for the hot topics and how/what things are said before deciding if they are a place for you. Also, find a supportive group of friends to use as a sounding board first.

Good luck with MFP

MiloBloom83

I found most of my friends on these boards. That was prior to the "Big Butt-hurt Special Snowflake Invasion of 2013". Before January of 2013, people realized that there is no value in supporting peoples bad decisions. Currently, if i don't "support" your decisions or validate your bad choices, I'm "mean" or i'm "bullying" you. As a result, i help and support my friends only. They have thick skin and know how to look at suggestions objectively.

farfromthetree

Get a good friends list going. I friend people who I have liked what they had to say in the forums. If I have a question I generally use my newsfeed. That being said, don't discount those who come off a little blunt. These are the people I now try and follow. They are ones who have been here for years, have been successful and can provide you with a lot of beneficial information.

branflakes1980

The problem is not "ugliness" it is that everyone has different opinions on everything and when people have opposing view points this typically causes debate. It's human nature to get defensive in situtions like that. Some people handle situations like this in a mature fashion, some people handle situations like this in a not so grown up way. The same could be said about all aspects of life.

Myhaloslipped

These boards are extremely tame in comparison to everything else I have seen on the internet. I suggest developing a thicker skin before becoming further involved in the social/forum aspect of any site if it bothers you. That is just my advice.

JayRuby84

A lot of folks get ugly on here, but many offer good advice. I've gained friends and sound knowledge from some in the threads. And other times I'm shaking my head like "Did I seriously just read that???!!" Use your brain to filter out the crap. Or add some good smart people to your friends list and post questions on your wall.

4legsRbetterthan2

I felt the same way when I first started looking at them. Then I realized there was a ton of information on here, these forums have taught me alot. If you look closer you will notice things tend to get heated when:
- someone asks a question but does not want to REAL answer, they want people to tell them what they want to hear, even if it is wrong
- people make outlandish claims they cannot support
- people encourage ridiculous fad diets, magic solutions, or generally unhealthy approaches to weight loss

We are all (hopefully) here to better outselves and help those around us. Allowing incorrect information to circulate is not helping anyone.

farfromthetree

4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »

I felt the same way when I first started looking at them. Then I realized there was a ton of information on here, these forums have taught me alot. If you look closer you will notice things tend to get heated when:
- someone asks a question but does not want to REAL answer, they want people to tell them what they want to hear, even if it is wrong
- people make outlandish claims they cannot support
- people encourage ridiculous fad diets, magic solutions, or generally unhealthy approaches to weight loss

We are all (hopefully) here to better outselves and help those around us. Allowing incorrect information to circulate is not helping anyone.

very well said

Lounmoun

HappyAZWife wrote: »

I have gone through some of the threads and notice there is so much ugliness. Are all of the threads like this? I've only read a few and everyone has people being insulting, berating, and down right vicious.

Do "you" use the boards to ask questions, in general, or is it best to stay out of them?

I was hoping that things would be different here. I was hoping for a place that fostered a supportive, communicative environment, but it seems the same as everywhere else online. Sad. I really hope I just found a few nasty threads, not being the norm.

Anyone have any thoughts?

My advice to posting is
1) read the sticky posts and do a search on your topic before posting. It may have been covered a million times already. If your question hasn't been covered then post in the appropriate forum.
2) include all pertinent information in your first post... Height, weight, age, activity level, weight loss/fitness goal, medical conditions you have
3) if you are asking about why you can't lose weight or are gaining then have your diary open. You will be asked if you weigh your food and if you are choosing correct entries.
3) Don't get defensive if people are blunt. Don't make excuses. If you don't like the responses just step away from it. Maybe think about why you got the reaction you did.
4) if you post about fad diets, wanting to eat below 1,200 calories, taking diet pills, wrapping yourself in plastic, use words like starvation mode, cleansing, toxins, or promote fast, extreme weight loss then you will not receive supportive responses.

I feel the community is very active and responsive here. Most people are very patient and friendly. You can get good advice and support here.

3laine75

Serah87

Is this a butt-hurt post??....if so BINGO!!!!

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »

I felt the same way when I first started looking at them. Then I realized there was a ton of information on here, these forums have taught me alot. If you look closer you will notice things tend to get heated when:
- someone asks a question but does not want to REAL answer, they want people to tell them what they want to hear, even if it is wrong
- people make outlandish claims they cannot support
- people encourage ridiculous fad diets, magic solutions, or generally unhealthy approaches to weight loss

We are all (hopefully) here to better outselves and help those around us. Allowing incorrect information to circulate is not helping anyone.

This.

Generally things get ugly when OP starts arguing with the posters, telling people to "go post their negativity (read - disagreement with the topic presented) somewhere else," starts calling people names, or if the OP starts picking and choosing the advice given and only accepts what he/she wants to hear. Some topics are touchier than others, and some people don't like when others give succinct, clear, and blunt advice without any fluff thrown in. That's when the battle of the feelings begin.

The veterans on here know what they're talking about. I've learned so much from them. And some threads can get pretty entertaining. But there is nothing wrong with disagreeing with other people's views, and there is nothing wrong with asking people to back up their silly claims with science. These forums have given me a much better understanding of nutrition in general, and I am very thankful to have listened to the "mean" ones.

HappyAZWife

Thank you all for your responses. I do appreciate you taking the time to answer my question. I think I will probably look for some like minded groups at this point. I have a pretty thick skin, but I just hate reading name calling and insults completely unrelated in threads I am trying to glean from. Since I am over-obligated at this point I don't want to weed through things like that looking for the gem.

Again I very much appreciate the input! I'm glad to be here.

HappyAZWife

I do not understand the bingo thing. Can someone explain that to me?

Serah87

Here is the Bingo card.
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/29838173/MFP_bingo.pdf

jkramsey42

If you want lots of "would you sleep with the random stranger above?" posts, you're in the right spot.

If you want legit advice? Good luck.