Question about these message boards...

SconnieCat

mamapeach910 wrote: »

MrM27 wrote: »

In all seriousness, this is the Internet, you have people of all adult ages, worldwide locations, different ways of thinking for each other, different character traits and flaws, you will almost never find a consensus on a topic. People will turn around and say that others are being rude because it's online or that they wouldn't speak a certain way to someone in person but the truth is, you just don't know that. You might come from a small town or city somewhere and think to yourself "Those NY or Boston people are aholes online" but how would you know what they are like offline? Being rude can a lot of the time be very subjective. Being delicate to criticism or lack of validation doesn't apply to everyone everywhere.

I'm one of the people in the forum that is most hated by many. And I'm fine with that. But at the same time I have a lot of people that are close to me. We get out of hand a lot and things get dumb sometimes but if you put your emotions aside and look at what people are arguing or debating at times you'll realize that great information is in there.

A lot of people will come around spreading misconceptions about things we have all heard before and sometimes it's tough to admit what you thought you knew wasn't right. A lot of these questions asked day in and day out can be found easily if a little effort is applied. Google isn't the mecca but it gives you a great platform to search from. Look for an answer, then look some more, then question what you found and look at the reverse and search some more. Fact check everything on your own. If you don't like the attitude someone had when began "being rude" and you think they are wrong then go look for the information to come back at them. Come back with all the information you can and try to shut that persons information down. And in the process you went out and did some more learning on your own. That sticks with you longer in life that the people on this site. This online stuff isn't real life. If tomorrow someone vanishes of this site, I still pay my rent this month and feed my family. That's real life.

For the record, in the time I lurked before posting, you were one of the posters I found most helpful as a barometer on any given topic. It was obvious you knew what you were talking about.

I was just going to say that same exact thing.

SconnieCat

kgeyser wrote: »

I don't think the message boards here are that bad, but I survived The Knot. I do have some tips for the forums, in no particular order:

1. If you're asking for help, be upfront and honest about everything. No one wants to spend 5 pages trying to help you figure out calorie counts or why you aren't losing only for you to trot out a medical condition on page 6. If you're not comfortable talking about the medical issue on the main forums, try the groups for help with your questions.

2. You are going to be wrong about something at some point. Someone pointing out that you arrived at a conclusion based on incorrect information or just a plain old oversight does not make them mean, a troll, or a hater. They're just someone who pointed out a flaw in your thinking. Yes, it's embarrassing to realize you screwed up, but that's about you, not them. This is where gifs come in handy.

3. Just because someone responds to you with sunshine and rainbows doesn't mean that they have your best interests in mind. Just because someone comes off as blunt or harsh doesn't mean that they are trying to be mean to you or keep you from succeeding. Read everything as though it is being said by Kermit the Frog. 90% of the arguments on here have less to do with what someone actually said than the tone in which the reader perceives it was said.

4. Review the community guidelines and learn how the reporting system works. Yes, the mods read every report that comes in. There's a section where you can add text, feel free to say hi.

5. Cat gifs. Always cat gifs. Or any kind of gif, really.

6. Those people who are always arguing about something? Every single one of them, on both sides of every single issue that gets debated, has taken time to help someone on these forums. And not just help them with a quick response, but sat patiently through pages and pages, explaining the same things they've explained 100 times before to other users, just to help out a stranger who is frustrated, or confused, or doubting themselves, or just flat-out scared. I've seen it, and if you give this place a chance and don't just focus on the drama, you'll see it too.

7. You can block entire forums from the http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/ page by hovering over the forum name, then clicking on the gear and selecting Unfollow. Unless you were on the edge of your seat waiting to see what that one person thinks about that poster above them.

8. Brownies are delicious. Ok, that's not really about the forums, but I needed an even numbered list because I am a crazy person.

Praise jesus. Yeas.

psuLemon

yarwell wrote: »

psulemon wrote: »

@kgeyser‌ i can reassure you that your #2 is wrong because i have never said anything wrong on the forums

irony ?

More sarcasm than anything else. The main point is, sometimes we need to be told we are wrong in order to learn. And it happens to all of us. But if you go in with a thicker skin and open mind, you will do fine on any forum.

earlnabby

psulemon wrote: »

yarwell wrote: »

psulemon wrote: »

@kgeyser‌ i can reassure you that your #2 is wrong because i have never said anything wrong on the forums

irony ?

More sarcasm than anything else. The main point is, sometimes we need to be told we are wrong in order to learn. And it happens to all of us. But if you go in with a thicker skin and open mind, you will do fine on any forum.

Google is a good friend. When i am told I am wrong, I google the item in question and see what the majority think. I have learned a lot that way. Sometimes I was wrong, and some times I was right.

My tips for staying sane here:

1. Never speak in absolutes or tell anyone they HAVE TO do something (except weigh, measure, and log)
2. Give all pertinent information up front. If asking about the number of calories you are or should be eating, give your age, height, current weight
3. Let certain comments (or commenters) roll off your back
4. Let common sense be your guide. If it sounds weird or too good to be true, it probably is
5. Assume nothing. Ask for clarification if someone isn't making sense

I only participate here, a forum for long hair care, and a forum for owners of planted aquariums. This is the snarkiest of the three, but really isn't too bad

One last thing: If you do the Peep cleanse, remember to not eat the eyes.

_Terrapin_

HappyAZWife wrote: »

I do not understand the bingo thing. Can someone explain that to me?

look up flounce. . . .

jkal1979

As a lurker I really enjoy the forums and I have learned a lot from them. While some people see things as mean I see things like this:

-People who are nice enough to take the time out of their day to go through someone's diary and give feedback.

-People who care enough to take the time to reply to threads that have been posted 100's of times, especially when it comes to MLM schemes and fad diets. Even if the OP is dead set on going forth with whatever the plan is, they care enough to put the facts out there for anyone who is lurking the thread.

-People who call others out on their excuses and help them find solutions.

I've been in weight loss groups where the main goal seemed to be to validation. While a pat on the hand may be ok in some cases it really doesn't get to the root of whatever the problem is. I don't see that as being helpful at all since a lot of those people remained stuck and frustrated and eventually gave up. I guess we all have our interpretations of what support is.

Unknown

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