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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....

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  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 21,155 Member Member Posts: 21,155 Member
    Told lies 😮
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Member Posts: 242,117 Member Member Posts: 242,117 Member
    We didn't, :*
  • Cat0703aCat0703a Member Posts: 2,708 Member Member Posts: 2,708 Member
    We had entirely different schedules despite our shared passion for coffee and snuggles.
  • FabulousFantasticFiftyFabulousFantasticFifty Member Posts: 178,580 Member Member Posts: 178,580 Member
    The private eye I hired came back with pics of her sharing coffee and snuggling with someone else 🕵️‍♀️
  • Cat0703aCat0703a Member Posts: 2,708 Member Member Posts: 2,708 Member
    She spent all my money on hiring PIs. Those pictures showed me having coffee with my financial advisor and “snuggling” to her meant sitting 3ft apart at a crowded coffee shop.
  • CallousedthoughtsCallousedthoughts Member Posts: 1,381 Member Member Posts: 1,381 Member
    Told me we could get freaky, but only from 3 feet away
  • happimess01happimess01 Member Posts: 4,755 Member Member Posts: 4,755 Member
    told me we could get freaky, but only if whipped cream was involved
    edited June 28
  • Cat0703aCat0703a Member Posts: 2,708 Member Member Posts: 2,708 Member
    He wanted whip cream put in unusual places and just left it there. Didn’t wash it off for weeks. 🤢
  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 21,155 Member Member Posts: 21,155 Member
    Caught me eating the whipped cream. What?! It was still good. 😬
  • happimess01happimess01 Member Posts: 4,755 Member Member Posts: 4,755 Member
    she was addicted to perineum sunning 🤣
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Member Posts: 242,117 Member Member Posts: 242,117 Member
    He.. he.. omg 😭 what he did was awful. I just can't bring myself to say it.. :( I will never look at an eggbeater and rubber chicken the same again.
  • DWBalboaDWBalboa Member Posts: 31,395 Member Member Posts: 31,395 Member
    She did like the Three Stooges.
  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 21,155 Member Member Posts: 21,155 Member
    He kept calling me Moe when I was definitely a Larry.
  • DWBalboaDWBalboa Member Posts: 31,395 Member Member Posts: 31,395 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    He kept calling me Moe when I was definitely a Larry.

    Actually I thought you were more of a Shemp. 🤣🤣🤣
  • CallousedthoughtsCallousedthoughts Member Posts: 1,381 Member Member Posts: 1,381 Member
    Wanted me to wear a bowl cut and call him a wiseguy
  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 21,155 Member Member Posts: 21,155 Member
    He just disappeared. I wanted to send help to look for him, but a certain feline wouldn't let me.
  • Cat0703aCat0703a Member Posts: 2,708 Member Member Posts: 2,708 Member
    The answer to any topic of conversation was “where’s calloused” or “I hope calloused is okay” and “why won’t calloused answer me.”

    Hello!?!?! I am right here (and he’s not, in case you haven’t noticed). 😏
  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 21,155 Member Member Posts: 21,155 Member
    She was keeping calloused all to herself and wouldn't share. She built a large cage for him out of rocks. Poor guy couldn't even look outside. :(
  • CallousedthoughtsCallousedthoughts Member Posts: 1,381 Member Member Posts: 1,381 Member
    Narcoleptic. Constantly napping
  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 21,155 Member Member Posts: 21,155 Member
    Tried to drown me in a very tiny pond.
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