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We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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Gave lap dances to the Mafia0
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Woke up with a horse's head in my bed!0
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She called me Horseface!0
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Refused my offers0
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Didn't like the offers I was giving. Apparently anaal and Baseball bats were out of the question0
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He needed Therapy!0
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She said she wasn't cheating, she was a massage therapist, so I saw the situation wrong. But I knew...0
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She knew Nothing!!!0
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HE was massaging his therapist!0
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was always hosting seances trying to contact the dead rock stars of the 90's.0
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would shave his chest hairs and then glue them on heart to give as card - ummm....no!0
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She was always bringing up my chest hairs!
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She was always showing her chest hairs to everyone...0
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Was against Cleavage!0
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He was always trying to hold my boobies when we were at church!0
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He always had a plumber's crack going on.0
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She had something against plumber's and crack especially when I snorted it off their big pipes0
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His Assets were curvier than mine!
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She talked more about my deficits than my assets0
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She was homeless and only had a shopping cart filled with aluminum cans!0
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She used the aluminum cans as decorations in our house0
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She didn't care about the environment like I did0
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She was a Tree Hugger!
I was too, but she'd never hug me that way!0 -
She smelled of sweat and tartar...couldn't hug her like that0
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All he wanted to eat was Steak Tar Tar!0
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she killed my pet cow to make steak tar tar0
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She had pet cows. Made a mess of the house.0
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Screamed MOO! in bed. It hurt my feelings.0
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Didnt like my Sexy talk!0
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growling is not sexy0
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