Calorie-free food

Whitezombiegirl
Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
edited November 15 in Health and Weight Loss
Its true- foods is magically calorie-free under the following circumstances:

- No-one was looking
- You didn’t enjoy it
- It was a free sample at a country stall
- You ate it whilst were in transit (walking between kitchen and lounge counts)
- It was made by a child (my nephew is too nice to put calories in his cupcakes)
- It was made by a nice old lady (see above)
- It was your birthday/ holiday/ anniversary
- It was ‘cook-perks’ (only tasting to make sure it’s cooked right)
- It was (un-logged) left –overs
- It was off someone-else’s plate
- You forgot you ate it
- It was a gift
- It wasn’t an integral part of the meal (ketchup, bread roll, salad dressing)
- It was liquid
- Your skinny friend ate one too.

I’m sure you can think of more ‘calorie-free’ foods……..( yes, this is a joke- but it is something to think about)

Replies

  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,765 Member
    CHARITY CHOCOLATE!

    Everyone knows chocolate is 100% calorie free if it is purchased in support of charity or another community group.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
    Anything eaten after midnight
  • rosnigetsfit
    rosnigetsfit Posts: 569 Member
    edited April 2015
    badgerbadger1 wrote: »
    Anything eaten after midnight


    This ^^

    and the food you eat after you've finished your entry
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    Anything licked off the spoon after measuring out a portion ;)
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Anything licked off the spoon after measuring out a portion ;)

    Yes! I tried a little (gross) experiment. I licked the spoon after measuring greek yoghurt. Instead of swallowing it, I spat (yes spat!) it into the bowl. It was 7g. Interesting.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    Whitezombiegirl wrote: »
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Anything licked off the spoon after measuring out a portion ;)

    Yes! I tried a little (gross) experiment. I licked the spoon after measuring greek yoghurt. Instead of swallowing it, I spat (yes spat!) it into the bowl. It was 7g. Interesting.

    LMAO!! Wouldn't it have been easier to weigh the spoon before scooping and again after? :D Nowhere near as entertaining, though!
  • atypicalsmith
    atypicalsmith Posts: 2,742 Member
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Anything licked off the spoon after measuring out a portion ;)

    I actually did that after I first bought my food scale and immediately thought wtf?
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
    Anything eaten after sex. Hey, I'm NOT going back to the cigarette! ;)
  • sheldonklein
    sheldonklein Posts: 854 Member
    Tasting calories when cooking.

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    lauracups wrote: »
    Anything eaten after sex. Hey, I'm NOT going back to the cigarette! ;)

    OMG, no! haven't you read this thread??

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10130182/sex-vs-weight
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    edited April 2015
    If it goes in the coffee, it's calorie free, right?
  • cmcdonald525
    cmcdonald525 Posts: 140 Member
    Alatariel75 wrote: »

    OMG, no! haven't you read this thread??

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10130182/sex-vs-weight

    Omg, I'm dying! That thread just made my morning!
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Anything eaten off the samples cart at Costco of course.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
    Anything eaten off the samples cart at Costco of course.

    Ohhh, good one! I think free samples across the board are calorie free.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    If you eat them while you're sleep walking.
  • cbhubbybubble
    cbhubbybubble Posts: 465 Member
    Cookies have no calories if they are broken
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    cbhubbybubble wrote: »
    Cookies have no calories if they are broken

    I can get on board with this!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    Food eaten while watching sport. Mind over matter and all that, you get so engaged in watching people run around that you psychically absorb some of the calorie burns.
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    lauracups wrote: »
    Anything eaten after sex. Hey, I'm NOT going back to the cigarette! ;)

    OMG, no! haven't you read this thread??

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10130182/sex-vs-weight

    I once referred to Food Network as "my porn", but that's a whole different therapy session; )
  • Noelv1976
    Noelv1976 Posts: 18,948 Member
    Coffee?
  • davidcliff
    davidcliff Posts: 144 Member
    I've 'cooked' the calories out of many foods.

    I've also heard you can strain the calories out of some foods if you run them under cold water!
  • rosnigetsfit
    rosnigetsfit Posts: 569 Member
    Whitezombiegirl wrote: »
    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Anything licked off the spoon after measuring out a portion ;)

    Yes! I tried a little (gross) experiment. I licked the spoon after measuring greek yoghurt. Instead of swallowing it, I spat (yes spat!) it into the bowl. It was 7g. Interesting.

    That's gross! I had a good laugh tho.

  • punkuate
    punkuate Posts: 127 Member
    Any pink food doesn't have calories. Pink donuts, pink cakes and pink biscuits being the most obvious example.
  • mabinethin
    mabinethin Posts: 93 Member
    LOL...happy to see im not the only one who thinks like this..
  • FoodFitnessTravel
    FoodFitnessTravel Posts: 294 Member
    i once heard a girl saying toasted bread has no calories because it was toasted. fo real.
  • Tubbs216
    Tubbs216 Posts: 6,597 Member
    punkuate wrote: »
    Any pink food doesn't have calories. Pink donuts, pink cakes and pink biscuits being the most obvious example.
    Usually because they are "charity foods", therefore calorie-free.

    Also, food consumed standing up at kitchen counter.
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