Waitresses trying to sabotage me

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  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    sandryc79 wrote: »
    I wouldn't call it sabotage. ... I myself have a real tendancy to feed people I like. You no longer appear to be overweight and most people who look at fit men assume they are active and need to eat a lot of food. Food is a complex social tool often used to express friendship, caring or love. If the waitresses feel like they know and like you because of your personality frequency of visits they are showing you extra kindness through something they can offer.

    It can be really annoying to get these types of " friendship offerings however. It happens to me a lot at work and I imagine as I lose more weight it will only increase. I think you are handling it well. If you reject the extra food it may feel like you are rejecting the offer of friendly distinction.

    This is a good point. I've had this happen too, especially with friends and family we normally eat with. They all seem to want to fatten me up, and I prefer to stay the same as I am now. I have also offered others food in friendship.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    sjohnny wrote: »
    mamapeach910 wrote: »
    Well, it's cool that you're a regular enough that the waitress are being cute and giving you extras. It seems that you just eat a small portion and bring home the leftovers, so have developed a strategy to deal with this.

    So I don't understand the need to call this sabotage? Do you feel that caving in to eating that extra bit of food is imminent?

    I'm sort of lost here.

    I also don't understand the concept of sabotage frankly. I have food sitting in my pantry right now, just THERE. Taunting me. Waiting to be eaten. Is my pantry sabotaging me?

    It's either sabotaging you or trying to get in your pants.

    Ahhh, now I see where you're coming from. :)

    Could be, ya never know.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    The cafeteria cashier lady seemed to tell me of their specials, pastries etc at the checkout point as I got smaller. Did not notice any of this before. It's a little harder to be sure of her intent, though, because we did get friendlier as time went on
  • cathleenoneillco
    cathleenoneillco Posts: 7 Member
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    Maybe they're giving you more because before they felt that you didn't need more at a larger weight. It's not my opinion by the way, just what I think they could be thinking.

    I'm large right now, so I worry sometimes that's what people think when I go out to eat...but I don't worry enough where it makes me upset.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
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    SLLRunner wrote: »
    You didn't read this part......?
    My wife says they probably think they need to help feed the skinny man

    :D

    Nope, obviously I missed that tidbit. Okay, then, don't ask for her phone number.
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,725 Member
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    cathleenoneillco wrote: »
    Maybe they're giving you more because before they felt that you didn't need more at a larger weight. It's not my opinion by the way, just what I think they could be thinking.

    I'm large right now, so I worry sometimes that's what people think when I go out to eat...but I don't worry enough where it makes me upset.

    Seems there's a widespread misunderstanding of CICO. Why isn't it the fat guy that needs more food?
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    ddrhellbunny wrote: »
    As a waitress, if there is a chance I can give people free food without getting caught, I'll do it if the table has been really nice with me. Most of the time we don't do it for a bigger tip, most of the time we just actually like giving you free stuff if it makes your day that little much better.

    Though I am really good at judging what tables would appreciate the gesture more. :]

    this to me is the most likely explanation.
    - it's a hard job, a lot of people act like jerks when they go to restaurants
    - people, including servers, like to feel liked
    - if you are a pleasant person and regular customer, the server doing something nice for you increases their good feels and makes the working day feel better because it feels more like a human vs economic interaction
    - so it is about them and not you

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