QUICK! Weight loss secret right here!

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  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
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    People people people! I'm doing the Scarsdale diet next to shift 1lb a day... If I stick to it for 156 days... I will no longer exist... I'll be like the David Copperfield of the dieting world!!!! Who's with me?!
  • rocknlotsofrolls
    rocknlotsofrolls Posts: 418 Member
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    aimeerace wrote: »
    People people people! I'm doing the Scarsdale diet next to shift 1lb a day... If I stick to it for 156 days... I will no longer exist... I'll be like the David Copperfield of the dieting world!!!! Who's with me?!

    count me in!
  • HeySwoleSister
    HeySwoleSister Posts: 1,938 Member
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    aimeerace wrote: »
    People people people! I'm doing the Scarsdale diet next to shift 1lb a day... If I stick to it for 156 days... I will no longer exist... I'll be like the David Copperfield of the dieting world!!!! Who's with me?!

    BUT HOW WILL YOU DETOX? If you do the Scarsdale diet, you may wither away and leave nothing behind but a bunch of toxins.

    Or, if you're an emotionally manipulative profiteer, you may end up driving your illicit lover, a teacher at an exclusive Girls' school, to shoot you down. (This is all I know about the Scarsdale diet, LOL)
  • LovelyIvy466
    LovelyIvy466 Posts: 387 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

  • HeySwoleSister
    HeySwoleSister Posts: 1,938 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

    I thought it was supposed to be frothy and floaty? WHICH WITCH DOCTOR DO I TRUST?
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    EWJLang wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

    I thought it was supposed to be frothy and floaty? WHICH WITCH DOCTOR DO I TRUST?

    Dr. Oz, obviously
  • LovelyIvy466
    LovelyIvy466 Posts: 387 Member
    Options
    malibu927 wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

    I thought it was supposed to be frothy and floaty? WHICH WITCH DOCTOR DO I TRUST?

    Dr. Oz, obviously

    Dr Oz is a GENIUS you guys. He is the only one we should listen to about health. And we should all read the Secret.
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    Options
    malibu927 wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

    I thought it was supposed to be frothy and floaty? WHICH WITCH DOCTOR DO I TRUST?

    Dr. Oz, obviously

    Dr Oz is a GENIUS you guys. He is the only one we should listen to about health. And we should all read the Secret.

    If it's a secret... Are we allowed to? Pahahahahaha
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
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    I second that you should trust Dr. Oz, but you should also sort through your poop with toothpicks to make sure it is full of cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper is bound to toxins, so if you see cayenne pepper, you're probably doing it right!!

    And if you DON'T see cayenne pepper, move up your intake to five cups of it per day. You should see results and lose about 15 pounds per day as well as lose all the toxins in your body :) And possibly your will to live, but don't worry about that.
  • LovelyIvy466
    LovelyIvy466 Posts: 387 Member
    Options
    aimeerace wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

    I thought it was supposed to be frothy and floaty? WHICH WITCH DOCTOR DO I TRUST?

    Dr. Oz, obviously

    Dr Oz is a GENIUS you guys. He is the only one we should listen to about health. And we should all read the Secret.

    If it's a secret... Are we allowed to? Pahahahahaha

    Dude. It's Oprah. We NEVER laugh at what Oprah says, because even her farts are magic. Don't believe me? Observe the success of Dr. Phil
  • LovelyIvy466
    LovelyIvy466 Posts: 387 Member
    Options
    I second that you should trust Dr. Oz, but you should also sort through your poop with toothpicks to make sure it is full of cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper is bound to toxins, so if you see cayenne pepper, you're probably doing it right!!

    And if you DON'T see cayenne pepper, move up your intake to five cups of it per day. You should see results and lose about 15 pounds per day as well as lose all the toxins in your body :) And possibly your will to live, but don't worry about that.

    I heard that that's how Beyoncé stays so skinny. True story yo.
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    Options
    aimeerace wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

    I thought it was supposed to be frothy and floaty? WHICH WITCH DOCTOR DO I TRUST?

    Dr. Oz, obviously

    Dr Oz is a GENIUS you guys. He is the only one we should listen to about health. And we should all read the Secret.

    If it's a secret... Are we allowed to? Pahahahahaha

    Dude. It's Oprah. We NEVER laugh at what Oprah says, because even her farts are magic. Don't believe me? Observe the success of Dr. Phil

    So if I get a daily dose of Oprah... I'll never be fat again? Sign me up!
  • HeySwoleSister
    HeySwoleSister Posts: 1,938 Member
    Options
    aimeerace wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    EWJLang wrote: »
    But....can't I make it go faster if I take some supplements? I want to lose a ton of weight by summer so I can look good in a swimsuit and go back to eating normally.

    You need to eat your body weight in soap which will wash away any toxins...

    ~takes notes~

    Will that also jump-start my metabolism?

    No, in order to jump start your metabolism, you'll need to mix equal parts fresh lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper; drink 8oz every 2 hours. DON'T FORGET TO CHEW. It doesn't work unless you chew it! Rinse with mother of vinegar.

    You forgot about the apple cider vinegar. YOU HAVE TO DRINK A GLASS OF APPLE CIDER VINEGAR EVERY DAY PEOPLE! I haven't had a cold in 50 years because I drink it with echinacea every day, and I do a detox cleanse every month. Cuz toxins.
    But is your poop black sludge? IF IT'S NOT BLACK SLUDGE YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

    I thought it was supposed to be frothy and floaty? WHICH WITCH DOCTOR DO I TRUST?

    Dr. Oz, obviously

    Dr Oz is a GENIUS you guys. He is the only one we should listen to about health. And we should all read the Secret.

    If it's a secret... Are we allowed to? Pahahahahaha

    Dude. It's Oprah. We NEVER laugh at what Oprah says, because even her farts are magic. Don't believe me? Observe the success of Dr. Phil

    True. Because Dr. Phil is definitely one of Oprah's farts.
  • dawnsnarks
    dawnsnarks Posts: 101 Member
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    aimeerace wrote: »
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    I <3 every one of you. That is all

    Love in return will cost you £15.99 a month.

    :lol:@dawnsnarks

    Do you accept checks?
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    Options
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    I <3 every one of you. That is all

    Love in return will cost you £15.99 a month.

    :lol:@dawnsnarks

    Do you accept checks?

    I accept peeps as an acceptable method of payment. I can detox AND shower you with affection then!
  • dawnsnarks
    dawnsnarks Posts: 101 Member
    Options
    aimeerace wrote: »
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    I <3 every one of you. That is all

    Love in return will cost you £15.99 a month.

    :lol:@dawnsnarks

    Do you accept checks?

    I accept peeps as an acceptable method of payment. I can detox AND shower you with affection then!
    No peeps but how do you feel about the Starburst Jelly Bean detox?
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    Options
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    aimeerace wrote: »
    dawnsnarks wrote: »
    I <3 every one of you. That is all

    Love in return will cost you £15.99 a month.

    :lol:@dawnsnarks

    Do you accept checks?

    I accept peeps as an acceptable method of payment. I can detox AND shower you with affection then!
    No peeps but how do you feel about the Starburst Jelly Bean detox?

    Oh my gosh... I'll try anything if someone promises me I'll lose weight!
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
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    I was thinking of trying the Sunken Ship detox. What you do is send yourself out into the middle of the ocean and take in up to a gallon of salt water per day. The salt is supposed to flush out your system and guarantee a quick 20 pound per week weight loss. That's not even taking into consideration the weight you'll drop when living off IV fluids!
  • HeySwoleSister
    HeySwoleSister Posts: 1,938 Member
    Options
    I need to lose 30 pounds and get abs by spring break! (starts next week!) What supplements and teas should I try?

    ps. I don't like to work out and don't want to count calories or feel "deprived."