Whats up with the unfriendly pple in MFP???

13

Replies

  • whitnapkin
    whitnapkin Posts: 15
    Maybe it is the lack of food and people are just hangry :(


    Annd. This.. is the hardest I've laughed all day. Such a good point!! Thanks! lol :)
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I've been here a while and cultivated a great friends list. I also tend to overshare as I get more comfortable. So I don't add new people very often unless I have a vague idea they would be a good fit. Maybe some people think that is not being supportive but really, I'm not here for YOU, I'm here for me.
  • markymarrkk
    markymarrkk Posts: 495 Member
    Most of the time it's just people being HONEST and not candy coating B.S. I prefer to bish slap people with science than encourage your unicorn poop cleanse diets
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy :/

    I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
    They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


    There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
    But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

    Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

    Oh. Of course. From what I've seen, the meanie threads, and their supporters, are related to a prior post where the OP was given solid information, albeit without too much handholding. smh

    Careful....

    Oh come now. So what you're saying is people would rather get warm and fuzzy internet hugs, and "atta girls/boys" while they go on VLCDs and sweat for hours a day on programs that won't get them to their goals and may actually cause lasting harm, than to be told the plain, unvarnished truth so they can instead achieve their goals in a most efficient manner? Yea. Okay. You're right . . .
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    When people are mean, report them by holding the Alt key and then press F4, and that'll bring up the report window.

    this.

    also, disagreeing =/= "mean."
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy :/

    I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
    They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


    There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
    But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

    Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

    Oh. Of course. From what I've seen, the meanie threads, and their supporters, are related to a prior post where the OP was given solid information, albeit without too much handholding. smh

    Careful....

    Oh come now. So what you're saying is people would rather get warm and fuzzy internet hugs, and "atta girls/boys" while they go on VLCDs and sweat for hours a day on programs that won't get them to their goals and may actually cause lasting harm, than to be told the plain, unvarnished truth so they can instead achieve their goals in a most efficient manner? Yea. Okay. You're right . . .

    I just want to make sure you're not misunderstood and your solid info isn't construed as mean.
  • lilbrowngirlsj
    lilbrowngirlsj Posts: 45 Member
    Maybe it is the lack of food and people are just hangry :(

    HAHAHAHAHA! Probably!
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    I'm not sure what you wanted to accomplish with this post. Saying "People are mean" isn't going to *change* the mean people. If anything, it will attract them to your post to be mean some more.
  • bigcrystal123
    bigcrystal123 Posts: 246 Member
    I hear u on that some people can be rude as hell on here.all we r asking for is support and motivation. We are all changing our lifestyles. So we all should be helping each other not being rude to each other
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Maybe it is the lack of food and people are just hangry :(


    Annd. This.. is the hardest I've laughed all day. Such a good point!! Thanks! lol :)

    No matter how many hundreds of times this is mentioned, it remains as funny as it was the first time.
  • AutumnRed84
    AutumnRed84 Posts: 26 Member
    Maybe it is the lack of food and people are just hangry :(

    lol this

    and to those that are "soooo tired" of replying to the same questions over and over andoverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

    why do you reply then?? just don't, we won't miss ya :laugh:

    AGREED!!!
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    When people are mean, report them by holding the Alt key and then press F4, and that'll bring up the report window.

    this.

    also, disagreeing =/= "mean."

    i agree in the meanest possible way. :flowerforyou:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy :/

    I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
    They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


    There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
    But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

    Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

    This actually already happens...or more accurately, has been happening for many years now. The next time someone resurrects a zombie thread, look back through the names of the people providing the best advice. Most of them are no longer here.

    Did they move on of their own accord? Maybe. Or maybe they tired of being called out as "mean" or "rude" for providing valid advice that others didn't want to hear.

    It's all happened before...and it will happen again.

    the-matrix-code-o.gif
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,412 Member
    People generally see what they want to see - on forums and in real life.


    If you think everyone is a big meanie, check yourself. If that is how you approach/filter the world, you're going to find a lot of that. Assume the best in people, and that's what you'll see.

    On any given thread, there will be 98% helpful suggestions and 2% sarcasm or flippancy.

    Choose to see the 98%. Your life will be ever so much more enjoyable.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy :/

    I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
    They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


    There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
    But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

    Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

    Oh. Of course. From what I've seen, the meanie threads, and their supporters, are related to a prior post where the OP was given solid information, albeit without too much handholding. smh

    Careful....

    Oh come now. So what you're saying is people would rather get warm and fuzzy internet hugs, and "atta girls/boys" while they go on VLCDs and sweat for hours a day on programs that won't get them to their goals and may actually cause lasting harm, than to be told the plain, unvarnished truth so they can instead achieve their goals in a most efficient manner? Yea. Okay. You're right . . .

    I just want to make sure you're not misunderstood and your solid info isn't construed as mean.

    Pushy. Not mean by any standard other than, perhaps, MFP. And honestly, I'd rather be construed as mean, than to support VLCDs or other hair brained ideas.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Nobody has an obligation to cushion-pad good advice. Take it as information and move on.

    What you're doing is basically complaining about the birthday present someone gave you because they wrapped it in the wrong color paper.
  • sbabor
    sbabor Posts: 2
    I try not to be unfriendly. I look at this site as a way to encourage others as well as myself. I have been on the site a little over 3 weeks. Who am I to judge?
    There is a closed website my sister got me invited into that seems to be an excellent support site and many MFP are members there. Again there, like here there is a hesitancy to show all your cards so to speak, but I am not holding any aces or trump cards, if you know what I mean.

    I love people and if I can help, please let me know.

    sbabor
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
    Yeah some people can get mean. I commented on a post to try and help someone and someone jumped in saying how wrong I was and its all off even though what i said made me loose 20 lbs and my trainer told me it lol. Its really annoying but I just brush it off cause no matter what they're gunna be b*tchy :/

    I agree that some people can be mean, but I checked that posting and they weren't being mean or b*tchy. They were telling you what's healthy. (I'm assuming you are talking about this post: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1011197-to-eat-or-not-to-eat-that-is-my-question) They also explained why they said what they said.
    They didn't say "oh you're dumb". THAT is mean and rude and uncalled for. They didn't say that because they don't think that. They think you may have been misguided. And they want to help. :flowerforyou:


    There are lots of unfriendly people on here.
    But there are a lot of friendly and super helpful people on here too that get mistaken for unfriendly because they are brutally honest when answering questions. They have been in many situations that other newer people ask about, and they want newer people to not deal with all the BS they went through. So they give the straightforward blunt truth which often gets mistaken for bullying, being mean, rudeness, etc... They are also quick to correct things when someone gives out false information. Something that also gets mistaken for rudeness, etc...

    Thing is, if they keep being called rude and mean, they will eventually stop helping. And I dread that day.... :frown:

    Oh. Of course. From what I've seen, the meanie threads, and their supporters, are related to a prior post where the OP was given solid information, albeit without too much handholding. smh

    Careful....

    Oh come now. So what you're saying is people would rather get warm and fuzzy internet hugs, and "atta girls/boys" while they go on VLCDs and sweat for hours a day on programs that won't get them to their goals and may actually cause lasting harm, than to be told the plain, unvarnished truth so they can instead achieve their goals in a most efficient manner? Yea. Okay. You're right . . .

    I just want to make sure you're not misunderstood and your solid info isn't construed as mean.

    Pushy. Not mean by any standard other than, perhaps, MFP. And honestly, I'd rather be construed as mean, than to support VLCDs or other hair brained ideas.

    Agreed, I was trying to play along.
  • tapirfrog
    tapirfrog Posts: 616 Member
    Nobody has an obligation to cushion-pad good advice. Take it as information and move on.

    What you're doing is basically complaining about the birthday present someone gave you because they wrapped it in the wrong color paper.

    ^^^ THIS
  • shortie_sarah
    shortie_sarah Posts: 177 Member
    Hmm... I think I may have an understanding of some things now. Those of us (and I say "us" because I have been there) who think people are being 'mean' are perceiving them as being mean, when in reality, they aren't. It seems like we think they are mean or rude simply because they disagreed with us. I really think that's something that us sensitive people need to get over.. Give it a week or so and go back and re-read what you thought was mean. I can almost guarantee that you will no longer see it as mean but simply someone just disagreeing with you and explaining why. I know it can seem like they are rude because you are so wrapped in your opinion and people don't see your opinion to be right so you have everyone jumping in to tell you how your way is wrong, so it results in you feeling almost like a victim, but that isn't true. It really is a matter of perspective. Try looking at the replies as informative instead of mean or rude...

    Now I gathered this just from my own experience and observations of what people are referring to as mean or rude... this is my opinion on why we sensitive people tend to take informative replies that disagree with us the wrong way..
  • JellyButter
    JellyButter Posts: 160 Member
    Having a deficit in your normal calorie intake can do that to you.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    I've been here a while and cultivated a great friends list. I also tend to overshare as I get more comfortable. So I don't add new people very often unless I have a vague idea they would be a good fit. Maybe some people think that is not being supportive but really, I'm not here for YOU, I'm here for me.

    Exactly. I don't even declare that I need a message with a friend request, but I do. Not because I think I'm special, but because after 18 months, I've got a friend list full of people that mesh with me. When I get random friend requests, if I'm feelif charitable, I'll devote about 8 seconds to trying to figure out how you found me and why you think we'll be a good match. If I can't figure it out, I'm done. Because I am very involved with my friends, and there is a limit to the number of people I can keep up with, I'm not adding people just because. I'm not adding someone that I can't support-be that because I already have a full list, or because it's someone without a sense of humor, or someone who is fasting/"jump starting" their weight loss/only logging in once a week/posting every Monday how they blew it over the weekend/etc. I want my mfp friends to be people that I jive with, and I can't fathom why someone would want otherwise. If there's someone you wan to be friends with, send them a request and tell them why. That's not an unreasonable request.
  • AleciaG724
    AleciaG724 Posts: 705 Member
    It's honestly the nature of the internet. The best thing you can do is click the little arrow next to their username and select "Ignore user".

    Brilliant!! I never noticed the little arrow!! Thank You!!!!
  • AleciaG724
    AleciaG724 Posts: 705 Member
    It's really only a few people that are unfriendly.

    I am very positive, I log everything, try to do 30 minutes of exercise every day and have an open diary. I've lost 2#/week since joining in April and I'll be here for the long haul because I'm committed to reaching my goal weight. Feel free to add me.
  • 28DebRena
    28DebRena Posts: 56
    There are mean people everywhere in this world. The only way to never encounter people with rude souls, is to stay to yourself and seclude yourself from the world. It is sad, but true.
  • Loves418
    Loves418 Posts: 330 Member
    Hi everyone,

    I have recently started my weight loss journey (5 days) and I signed up with MFP from the beginning. As you might have experienced the first weeks are the worst but I'm still happy to be doing this. I find MFP very helpful and I love reading through "success stories" but its such a turn off to encounter some posts where it says "DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS CHALLENGE UNLESS YOU ARE PART OF THE 100 PEOPLE THAT ARE ALREADY PART OF THE GROUP. " or do not add/msge if you don't know me. Are we back to highschool??? I thought we're here to support each other with our weight loss challenges!!! Anyway, I would love to get some support.

    and now you know why children are bullies because they learn it from their parents...:grumble: :angry:
    Hugs..add me if you like
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    Hi everyone,

    I have recently started my weight loss journey (5 days) and I signed up with MFP from the beginning. As you might have experienced the first weeks are the worst but I'm still happy to be doing this. I find MFP very helpful and I love reading through "success stories" but its such a turn off to encounter some posts where it says "DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS CHALLENGE UNLESS YOU ARE PART OF THE 100 PEOPLE THAT ARE ALREADY PART OF THE GROUP. " or do not add/msge if you don't know me. Are we back to highschool??? I thought we're here to support each other with our weight loss challenges!!! Anyway, I would love to get some support.

    Did they disable reply? No... then comment.
  • Loves418
    Loves418 Posts: 330 Member
    There are some people on here who think there is only one way to lose weight, but there are a lot more who just want to support you.

    Don't listen to any of the negativity, ignore them if you have to. Tell them you only eat 1200 calories a day, that really pisses them off.

    I eat 1200 a day plus my workout calories..but then again I am only 5ft tall...I don't need much more..OH and tell them you eat cheeseburgers see them really go nuts...:laugh:
  • jessykab74
    jessykab74 Posts: 167 Member
    There are some people on here who think there is only one way to lose weight, but there are a lot more who just want to support you.

    Don't listen to any of the negativity, ignore them if you have to. Tell them you only eat 1200 calories a day, that really pisses them off.

    I eat 1200 a day plus my workout calories..but then again I am only 5ft tall...I don't need much more..OH and tell them you eat cheeseburgers see them really go nuts...:laugh:


    Haha so true!!
  • Lazygal53
    Lazygal53 Posts: 294 Member
    I get that feeling here as well. Some people think that everyone has to do things they way they do it or they're wrong. Wish they had an ignore button.

    You can select ignore just under your profile pic. Click on the little downward arrow.