Pervy Trainer

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rasheedahj
rasheedahj Posts: 12 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Im pretty sure my trainer is a perv. He insist that we do 3 sets of squats but he stands behind me staring. Either he doesnt realize or he doesnt care that i can see him in the mirror. At the end of our sessions he pats me on the butt. Knowing that my butt is big i wear sweatpants or a long shirt but it doesnt make a difference. Am i the only woman who gets perved on in the gym?
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  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    Where would you prefer he stand? And where would you prefer he look. It's a lower body exercise so his eye level will be low. Unless he's 12 years old I can't imagine him getting much pervy benefit from patting a girl's butt but it still crosses well past the line of being inappropriate. So that's gotta stop.

    So......is your mouth broken? Tell him that you'd rather he not touch your booty. And if you don't want confrontation (tho this hardly rises to that level, IMO) then my next question would be is your purse broken? Because I'd simply close it and take my business elsewhere.
  • rasheedahj
    rasheedahj Posts: 12 Member
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    DavPul wrote: »
    Where would you prefer he stand? And where would you prefer he look. It's a lower body exercise so his eye level will be low. Unless he's 12 years old I can't imagine him getting much pervy benefit from patting a girl's butt but it still crosses well past the line of being inappropriate. So that's gotta stop.

    So......is your mouth broken? Tell him that you'd rather he not touch your booty. And if you don't want confrontation (tho this hardly rises to that level, IMO) then my next question would be is your purse broken? Because I'd simply close it and take my business elsewhere.
    Ive asked him not to do it because its disrespectful to my husband. He laughed it off and stopped but started doing it again a week later. Part of me wont bring it up again because he's a awesome trainer and i dont want to cause a problem. Too, thats the only gym with a daycare center. Trying to find a way that wont end with me leaving the gym or him possibly losing his job.
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
    edited May 2015
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    As I'm the most experienced out of everyone I train with I tend to sit and stare at them while working out and while they are squatting it does look like I'm staring at their bums when I'm watching their form. He's more likely trying to make sure your form is alright so you don't injure yourself.

    As for the *kitten* slapping, I'd probably mention it to him again. He will train a lot of people a week and probably forgot. Insinuating that he is a pervert is unfair and judgemental, he may just be friendly.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    rasheedahj wrote: »
    DavPul wrote: »
    Where would you prefer he stand? And where would you prefer he look. It's a lower body exercise so his eye level will be low. Unless he's 12 years old I can't imagine him getting much pervy benefit from patting a girl's butt but it still crosses well past the line of being inappropriate. So that's gotta stop.

    So......is your mouth broken? Tell him that you'd rather he not touch your booty. And if you don't want confrontation (tho this hardly rises to that level, IMO) then my next question would be is your purse broken? Because I'd simply close it and take my business elsewhere.
    Ive asked him not to do it because its disrespectful to my husband. He laughed it off and stopped but started doing it again a week later. Part of me wont bring it up again because he's a awesome trainer and i dont want to cause a problem. Too, thats the only gym with a daycare center. Trying to find a way that wont end with me leaving the gym or him possibly losing his job.

    Perhaps it's just me, but my definition of an awesome trainer doesn't include someone that keeps doing something I've specifically asked him/her not to do. Especially when it's something that they should never have been doing in the first place.

    He does it again, tell his manager to ask him to stop. If he gets fired, of well, so swell, not your fault or your problem. He gotta learn or he gotta go. That's on him.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    alyhuggan wrote: »
    As I'm the most experienced out of everyone I train with I tend to sit and stare at them while working out and while they are squatting it does look like I'm staring at their bums when I'm watching their form. He's more likely trying to make sure your form is alright so you don't injure yourself.

    As for the *kitten* slapping, I'd probably mention it to him again. He will train a lot of people a week and probably forgot. Insinuating that he is a pervert is unfair and judgemental, he may just be friendly.

    Perhaps it's also just me, but my definition of friendly doesn't include the unwanted touching of other people's private parts. But hey, maybe I'm just a prude. Do we think he's touching the buttocks of his male clients too? And that if they told him to stop he'd continue to play grab *kitten* with them?
  • rdkstar
    rdkstar Posts: 260 Member
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    For the looking that's his job. He needs to be watching you. The slap is wrong. Speak up or it will start to effect your workout. Your focus needs to be on what your doing and not whether is he going to touch you.

    Also, don't always think the worse. Some people are just that way and need reminding that we are not. I only enjoy hugging my DH. I hate when friends or people I know have to hug to say hello.
  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
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    These responses are ridiculous. It is incredibly inappropriate for him to be touching your butt-or touching you at all. Your relationship should be strictly professional. Whether or not he's a pervert doesn't really matter. He is being inappropriate and unprofessional-and it's making you uncomfortable.

    If you think it's innocent than tell him again not to do it, but why use your husband as an excuse? Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If you really think he's a pervert than you should probably tell his boss. If he's harassing you he's harassing other women as well.
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    slaite1 wrote: »
    These responses are ridiculous. It is incredibly inappropriate for him to be touching your butt-or touching you at all. Your relationship should be strictly professional. Whether or not he's a pervert doesn't really matter. He is being inappropriate and unprofessional-and it's making you uncomfortable.

    If you think it's innocent than tell him again not to do it, but why use your husband as an excuse? Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If you really think he's a pervert than you should probably tell his boss. If he's harassing you he's harassing other women as well.

    I'm confused. How are the other responses ridiculous? They all say basically the same thing you are.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    I'm not sticking up for him at all, but as far as the squatting goes, he might just be checking your form. Mine stand behindme the entire time and yes is looking directly at my rear. But I think it's just him watching me to make sure I'm doing okay.
    But the butt patting is not appropriate at all. I wouldn't like that either. Your going to have to speak up and let him know your uncomfortable with any touching of your butt. That won't be easy to talk about, but it must be done. He may just be a touchy type of person ( my sister does odd stuff like that to ppl all the time because she thinks she's being funny. She'll goose people's butts while giving a hug and often pat people's butts while they walk by. She's not a perv, but I'm sure it gets taken that way because of her behavior.she just thinks she's being humorous) but if your uncomfortable, then he needs to stop. Obviously you where uncomfortable enough to create this thread so I think you should try to mention it again to him. If he's anything like my sister, and not trying to be a weirdo , then he'll stop. If he's just truly a perv, then he won't. But it's worth having the conversation for sure.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
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    my coach stands behind me and watches me squat too...I assume he's just watching my form and readying himself to step in for a spot if necessary...sometimes when I'm doing a really heavy squat, he literally is on my *kitten*. He's never spanked me though...we'd have issues there.
  • wolvinnetje
    wolvinnetje Posts: 363 Member
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  • Cryptonomnomicon
    Cryptonomnomicon Posts: 848 Member
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    Form check not uncommon, but unsolicited touching after you have told him to back off isn't. Tell him firmly that it is not acceptable (doesn't matter how awesome a trainer he is) he needs to be put in his place. Report him if it continues. Yes I read you don't want to create trouble but imagine it was your daughter (if you have/had one) in the same position would you tell her to accept it because of how good of a trainer he is? I think not.
  • tesha_chandler
    tesha_chandler Posts: 378 Member
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    I would think that the trainer is watching you so closely during squats because they are one of the most incorrectly preformed exercises. As far as the butt smack goes, it is unprofessional but it (can be) an athletic male habit.. My dad played softball with his job and it was common to see them come back into the dug-out and get smacked on the butt as they walked by. They aren't being perverted, it's just their way of saying "good job" Just remember that the trainer works for you. I would ask him again to stop and if he continues to do it, ask for a new trainer. ;)
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    tesha_chandler wrote: »
    I would think that the trainer is watching you so closely during squats because they are one of the most incorrectly preformed exercises. As far as the butt smack goes, it is unprofessional but it (can be) an athletic male habit.. My dad played softball with his job and it was common to see them come back into the dug-out and get smacked on the butt as they walked by. They aren't being perverted, it's just their way of saying "good job" Just remember that the trainer works for you. I would ask him again to stop and if he continues to do it, ask for a new trainer. ;)

    so much this...

    It's common in male sports to see that all the time...but if you have asked him not to remind him again firmly with the comment and this is the last time I am mentioning it...next time...your fired.
  • slaite1
    slaite1 Posts: 1,307 Member
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    alyhuggan wrote: »

    As for the *kitten* slapping, I'd probably mention it to him again. He will train a lot of people a week and probably forgot. Insinuating that he is a pervert is unfair and judgemental, he may just be friendly.

    rdkstar wrote: »

    Also, don't always think the worse. Some people are just that way and need reminding that we are not. I only enjoy hugging my DH. I hate when friends or people I know have to hug to say hello.

    These specifically. "You're being judgemental....don't jump to conclusions" he's touching her a**, these responses immediately got my hackles up. It's simply not ok for someone to touch you-especially if you asked them not to.
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    Squatting he needs to look. Touching if requested not to do so and especially as it makes you feel uncomfy is a no. You dont need to use husband as an excuse its simply not on. He doesnt follow then get rid.

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