Pervy Trainer
Replies
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I'll disagree with the bold. Many times you can explain an exercise, watch a client attempt it, try to verbally correct, and they still don't get it.These responses are ridiculous. It is incredibly inappropriate for him to be touching your butt-or touching you at all.
EX: Tricep kickbacks. Many new clients will keep moving their elbows. You try to verbally correct them and they still keep moving the elbow around. At that point I lightly put my hands on their elbow to keep it from moving and tell them to continue the motion so they can feel how the exercise is supposed to be performed.
Now of course I always tell clients or members who get a free session that I may have to touch them on occasion to help with positioning. That I'm not trying to be inappropriate, but ensuring their form or position is correct.
As a professional, unneeded contact (the slap on the butt) is entirely inappropriate behavior. And if he's doing it with one, there are probably others.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Yes, agree completely. I should have been specific, I meant any touching outside of what's necessary/appropriate for training. Ive had many sessions that involve some level of touching and/or close contact-especially with someone new. Makes it even more important to remain professional at all times.0 -
Nah. It makes that trainer one to be aware of. It's no different than a spin instructor who yells crazily while spinning hard or a BodyPump instructor "whoop, whoops" throughout the workout. Like any other career job, people have their own personalities.It also makes trainers look bad.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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tesha_chandler wrote: »I would think that the trainer is watching you so closely during squats because they are one of the most incorrectly preformed exercises. As far as the butt smack goes, it is unprofessional but it (can be) an athletic male habit.. My dad played softball with his job and it was common to see them come back into the dug-out and get smacked on the butt as they walked by. They aren't being perverted, it's just their way of saying "good job" Just remember that the trainer works for you. I would ask him again to stop and if he continues to do it, ask for a new trainer.
so much this...
It's common in male sports to see that all the time...but if you have asked him not to remind him again firmly with the comment and this is the last time I am mentioning it...next time...your fired.
it may be common when guys are playing sports and whatnot...it's not acceptable in a professional relationship with a client IMO...he should know better and keep a better head on his shoulders.0 -
These specifically. "You're being judgemental....don't jump to conclusions" he's touching her a**, these responses immediately got my hackles up. It's simply not ok for someone to touch you-especially if you asked them not to.
I think you are taking it the wrong way. We are not saying that he is right. I'm suggesting that he might be just an idiot and not a perv. She needs to tell him again not to touch. However, you do have to realize there are lots of sports that do this. Doesn't make it right but doesn't make them either pervs.0 -
rasheedahj wrote: »At the end of our sessions he pats me on the butt.
A VERY loud "Keep your god-damned hands off my *kitten* you pervert" will prevent future misunderstandings.0 -
CipherZero wrote: »rasheedahj wrote: »At the end of our sessions he pats me on the butt.
A VERY loud "Keep your god-damned hands off my *kitten* you pervert" will prevent future misunderstandings.
And will probably (1) end the relationship with the trainer and (2) make her stand out as the crazy lady in the gym, especially if this is done in a friendly way. Calling someone a pervert is not a joke.0 -
These specifically. "You're being judgemental....don't jump to conclusions" he's touching her a**, these responses immediately got my hackles up. It's simply not ok for someone to touch you-especially if you asked them not to.
I think you are taking it the wrong way. We are not saying that he is right. I'm suggesting that he might be just an idiot and not a perv. She needs to tell him again not to touch. However, you do have to realize there are lots of sports that do this. Doesn't make it right but doesn't make them either pervs.
To me it's not so much about perving as it is about a man just straight up ignoring what a woman tells him and doing what he likes because he wants to. OP isn't a baseball player. She's a client.0 -
Wow, some of the responses here are confusing me completely! I'm not particularly interested in whether or not he is offended by being referred to as a pervert, tbh. He's been told, and he ignored that. Now he IS a pervert.
You don't just forget that it's inappropriate to touch someone's backside without permission. It's not like that's normal behaviour.0 -
These specifically. "You're being judgemental....don't jump to conclusions" he's touching her a**, these responses immediately got my hackles up. It's simply not ok for someone to touch you-especially if you asked them not to.
I think you are taking it the wrong way. We are not saying that he is right. I'm suggesting that he might be just an idiot and not a perv. She needs to tell him again not to touch. However, you do have to realize there are lots of sports that do this. Doesn't make it right but doesn't make them either pervs.
Whether or not he's a perv is irrelevant to the appropriateness of him touching her. There's a difference between a group of male athletes and the current scenario. As an active person that has been very involved in sports-I can tell you I have never encountered a situation where a male trainer or coach touched a female athlete in this manner. How is this ok, even in a sports context?
But that's besides the point because she is a client at a gym and he is a trainer. Even if she was fine with it this would still be inappropriate.0 -
How is the butt-touching even a debate?!? Based on the description it wasn't a form assist.
Fired on the spot.0 -
When I started working with my trainer, he was *very* cautious about touching me at all. I wasn't doing anything that required true spotting, and we didn't know each other well. It took a couple months before we knew one another well (were friendly) enough that casual, non-spotting/demonstration touching occurred (a quick side-hug, bumping an arm to make a point, etc.). It's been almost a year we've been working together, and if he slapped my butt, I would be shocked and angry and would speak up in a way that left no room for interpretation. If it happened again, he'd no longer be my trainer. Thankfully, he's fully professional and a respectable, decent guy anyway. Decent guys don't slap a woman's butt without having had some sort of relationship/boundary/consent discussion ahead of time.
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I've been a trainer for 5 years and this is not ok. He should know better than to touch you like that. And after you asked him not to? That's flagrant disrespect. Find a new trainer. You should feel totally comfortable with and encouraged by your trainer. You should mesh. He seems far from a good fit.0
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The touching is absolute *kitten* and you should say something again and let him know next time it will go to his superior.0
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Nah. It makes that trainer one to be aware of. It's no different than a spin instructor who yells crazily while spinning hard or a BodyPump instructor "whoop, whoops" throughout the workout. Like any other career job, people have their own personalities.It also makes trainers look bad.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I don't know if you guys are aware, but gym-based trainers have a rep for being unprofessional in various ways (e.g. being sales-driven; using out-of-date / ineffective protocols, especially for women; and some of them are kind of douchey, that's where I'd put this trainer). Obviously, that sucks for those who aren't like that.0 -
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rasheedahj wrote: »Im pretty sure my trainer is a perv. He insist that we do 3 sets of squats but he stands behind me staring. Either he doesnt realize or he doesnt care that i can see him in the mirror. At the end of our sessions he pats me on the butt. Knowing that my butt is big i wear sweatpants or a long shirt but it doesnt make a difference. Am i the only woman who gets perved on in the gym?
If you are not comfrotable being looked at, then you should not be working with a trainer, and definitely should not be squatting in public. It is his job to look at you so he can correct things, and it is also normal, as you will find out, for other people to look too. If you are squatting, someone will look at your butt, and the same will happen wth other body parts depending on exercise. It happens, even when people are not interested in you in any way.
As for touching, if you are not comfortable and this is his style, you are not a good match. He probably cannot even remember you told him not to do it, it does not sound sexual at all, but if it is bothering you, just get rid of him. Or if you want to give this one more try, have a talk with him about you not liking people touching you and explaining he should not do this again. Leave sexuality and your husband out of it.
This0 -
Hmmm
I have worked out with women and spotting doing squats involved hands on the others hips, very close proximity
But no *kitten* patting required
That is crossing a line. And you even mentioned it crosses a line.
Fire his dumba$$ and get another trainer. Maybe you have learned enough to not need one?
Anyway, women look at bootys too when men do squats, but there is such a thing as discrete and respectful.
Too bad your trainer has not learned those two life skills
Oh well...0 -
CipherZero wrote: »rasheedahj wrote: »At the end of our sessions he pats me on the butt.
A VERY loud "Keep your god-damned hands off my *kitten* you pervert" will prevent future misunderstandings.
And will probably (1) end the relationship with the trainer and (2) make her stand out as the crazy lady in the gym, especially if this is done in a friendly way. Calling someone a pervert is not a joke.
Then they should probably strive harder to not be such a pervert0 -
These specifically. "You're being judgemental....don't jump to conclusions" he's touching her a**, these responses immediately got my hackles up. It's simply not ok for someone to touch you-especially if you asked them not to.
I think you are taking it the wrong way. We are not saying that he is right. I'm suggesting that he might be just an idiot and not a perv. She needs to tell him again not to touch. However, you do have to realize there are lots of sports that do this. Doesn't make it right but doesn't make them either pervs.
To me it's not so much about perving as it is about a man just straight up ignoring what a woman tells him and doing what he likes because he wants to. OP isn't a baseball player. She's a client.
Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner!
It's exactly this. You don't have to be a genius in customer relations or a complete prude to simply follow the instructions given by your client.
Rule #1: Keep it professional.
Rule #2: If you're too clueless to recognize the parameters of Rule #1, then at least listen to what your client tells you.
Rule #3: If you can't abide by Rules #1 and 2, then find a new line of work cuz u gonna get fired sooner or later. And deservedly so.0 -
How is that crazy? Professional associations of all kinds (for eg teachers, doctors) hold normative standards for general behaviour because they know idiots reflect badly on their respective professions.0 -
How is that crazy? Professional associations of all kinds (for eg teachers, doctors) hold normative standards for general behaviour because they know idiots reflect badly on their respective professions.
All due respect, no it doesn't. It reflects badly on that person. And perhaps on the organization employing that person. But one random person doing one random bad thing doesn't throw shade on every human being in that industry. So if you here a story about one bad teacher you think that every teacher is bad? Same with doctors?
What it does do is if you're already biased against a person/thing/organization, you'll use whatever negative info you get as confirmation for your bias. But it don't even matter cuz you already fostered a strong dislike for that particular entity anyway.
Tl;Dr Haters gonna hate0 -
Anyone reminded of that Friends episode when Chandler's boss kept *kitten* slapping him????0
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I wish I had a female trainer to slap me on the *kitten* everytime I squat.0
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As for actual situation - having never had a PT, I am trying to imagine how it would feel like. I would expect him to study my form and that would include my butt in squats,,,,,,,,*kitten* slapping? It would depend on our relationship. If we were jokey and familiar it wouldn't bother me as long as I could goose his *kitten* as well,,,,,,,If we were more formal and I told him I didn't want him to touch me more than he had to, then I would expect him to respect that, These PT must keep notes on their clients - ask for it to be noted on your notes that you don't like to *kitten* slapped,,,,,,,,end of. If he still does it, then I think there is a problem,,,,,,,,,0
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How is that crazy? Professional associations of all kinds (for eg teachers, doctors) hold normative standards for general behaviour because they know idiots reflect badly on their respective professions.
All due respect, no it doesn't. It reflects badly on that person. And perhaps on the organization employing that person. But one random person doing one random bad thing doesn't throw shade on every human being in that industry. So if you here a story about one bad teacher you think that every teacher is bad? Same with doctors?
What it does do is if you're already biased against a person/thing/organization, you'll use whatever negative info you get as confirmation for your bias. But it don't even matter cuz you already fostered a strong dislike for that particular entity anyway.
Tl;Dr Haters gonna hate
Why, then, do most professional orgs have policies and expectations relating to "good character"? It's considered important enough that people with astoundingly bad character get kicked out of their professions.
I'm not saying this case was egregious, or even that out of the norm of certain gym cultures, but there are, for example, grounds for a sexual harassment suit here.0 -
I wish I had a female trainer to slap me on the *kitten* everytime I squat.
Ha!! Funny - I was just thinking if the PT was cute, I wouldn't be complaining,,,,,but clearly OP is.
Personally I like the idea of getting my butt spanked at the end of a session,,,,,,but that's just me,,,,0 -
OP, you going to have to tell him not to in no uncertain terms, You can couch it, that you know it probably it just habit but if it happens again, then you will take it further, Other women may not notice it, may like it, but you notice it, you dislike it and it has to stop.......Best of luck, Personally I think I would look for another PT cos your relationship is never going to be one of trust by sounds of it,,,,,,0
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