Fun things you said at labor

laughingdani

"Ok I change my mind, I don't think this is the right time to have a baby. Lets go home."

Mine was very similar. I was induced but nothing was happening. I was almost going to be sent home, which I did not want! All of a sudden my water broke and shortly after, all the 'fun" began. I said..." UGh. I changed my mind. I don't want to do this right now..." wahhhh!

I did the same thing. My water broke at my apartment. My mom and granny were there helping me set up the nursery.
I was going into pre-term labor, mind you. Once the contractions hit, I looked at my mom and said, "I don't want to have a baby anymore."

Then at the hospital, in labor, I wanted to hold people's fingers during my contractions. Not their hand, just 2 fingers. And I would squeeze really hard and count. Or I would yell at them for giving me their whole hand instead of just 2 fingers like I demanded.
I wasn't even on drugs. LOL

tehboxingkitteh

"Please tell me my water broke, otherwise I feel kinda awkward for peeing my pants in public in my 20s."

From the time I walked from the check in desk to the hospital room 20 feet away, my pants were soaked to my ankles.

After 2 hours of pushing (because mine was sideways and turned every time I pushed), "I'm finished pushing. You want this baby out, you can cut me open."

After I delivered, the doctor made a comment. I misheard him and thought he said there was another. Twins run on both sides of my family. They found out I was a twin after my mom delivered me and another water broke. "Oh my effing god, there's another one?! Effmy life." First time my child was exposed to the f word was 2 minutes after birth.

Dunkirk

Telling my husband after the birth of child number one, 'You have the next one".... we have 5 children

vbernier1

with my third, I had no drugs. I was fully dilated and waiting for the Doc to arrive and started cursing him that he wasn't there yet. When he walked in, i cried out "oh, thank god! I love you! now come on!"
After pushing out the head, the nurses all shout to me to stop pushing so they can suction. My response is (almost in tears) "you want me to WHAT?!?! I can't keep that *kitten* in there!"

and to alecia.. had Staydol with my first. Swore it off with the other two - too stoned feeling. I felt great at the time. My father-in-law was laughing at how i kept saying how great i felt and rubbing my nose. don't remember much of that one, which is probably good seeing as i almost bled out. :ohwell:

DrunkenFaeGirl

When my CNM asked if I wanted a mirror to watch her being born I said "oh hell no" while making a disgusted face. Everyone in the room cracked up laughing but me.

dakotababy

OMG i am so glad i don't have kids! Labour sounds like a total **** show. Literally..apparently.

fShaw86

with my youngest, she was 2.5 months early and had a prolapsed cord so had an emergency cesarean. I was scared and it came out as anger. I was soooo mad at my husband for being excited about our baby being born, I repeatedly yelled at him. Then the DR suggested I listen to music during the delivery and I yelled at him and told him I didn't need any f**** music. He ignored me and ran to his car and grabbed the first CD he had, and it was Green Day. My daughter was born to American Idiot. She was fine and is now a happy 6 yr old

omg what a way to welcome the baby to the world LOOOL

I had an epidural, but didn't get colorful I do remember saying "Oh God please just get the baby out, I don't care how you do it! I'm so tired I just want to go back home and sleep!" He was a normal delivery however lol.

tammys_changing

I don't think I said anything fun. But when I went into labor with my second son, my oldest, who was only five at the time told everyone he saw that day. It scared him when my water pipe burst. Lol

bettyann55

I have three children and I had them all natural with no pain meds and only in labour for eight hours in total with all three. I did however with my first one scream mummy just as my mom walked in the room. LOL
I am now a trained Volunteer Doula and looking forward to assisting moms to be with the delivery of their wee bundles of joy.

NeverGoingToQuit

After reading all these posts I don't know if I am ready for having children. Thank god my Fiancee and I aren't at that stage yet but dang I was afraid as it was, reading all of these didn't help lol

kelly101386

I had an epidural with my first, I was sleeping and my midwife leaned over to check the toco meter attached to my stomach and though I didn't say anything, she scared me and I farted really loudly that I woke myself up and made her jump.

Second one was a blur as she came fast, the anesthesiologist was supposed to give me my epidural. I didn't have time as I progressed fast and she looked at her watch and said. "Well I'm not usually here for this part," so she stayed and held my hand LOL!!

kcoftx

I didnt really say fun stuff but I like to share birth stories anyway...

For my first...
The anthesesiologist told me that he had to tell me when the needle was about to enter. I didn't want to know. I just wanted to say as still as possible for the needle but focus on my contractions so I could forget the needle. He insisted he had to tell me. I said, "okay" then flipped my hearing aid off so I couldn't hear a darn thing.

For my second...
I was told I was having a girl, via ultrasound, just two days before delivery. The delivery room was so tiny that my interpreter got shoved into a corner when the time came. She was jumping up and down trying to tell me it was a BOY. I kept asking, "Did you say it was a BOY?" The nurses and my husband, who all knew I was expecting a girl thought I was upset and thus the reason for my incredulous tone, but in reality I was still trying to verify the information!

For my third...
Each time I would have this pin hole leak and go to the doctor only to have my uterus plug it up and it not be noticeable. I managed to convince them and have it verified the first two times but this time I decided to just go home as they always suggest. I went to Babies R' Us and was holding onto racks during contractions. People kept asking but I smiled and told them I had already gone to the hospital and was sent home. Then when I went home, the only position comfortable was naked on a toilet. I stayed there for hours typing in a pregnancy chat room (on a laptop on a stool in front of me) until I just couldn't take it anymore and was ready for epidural time. The hospital was 40 minutes away so I already waited long enough. I do not remember what I said, but you can be sure I was not too happy when my husband asked me to wait so he could download a few things to take to the hospital with us because he knew my births are always long. Hello--I did most of this one at home, get in the car and go get me my epidural NOW. I do remember telling the people what I did, how I waited, and it was time for the epidural NOW as I was being wheeled in a wheelchair to my room. Whatever I said, they took me seriously because they called for e anthesesiologist right away!

KellyBurton1

They gave me some kind of gas and when the nurse came back into the room I said" How are you doing" in a flirty tone! After 10 years Im still embarrassed...lol

CrazyTrackLady

I have a couple of funny comments said, both by my hubby and me:

My son (now 20) was 9 days overdue. I walked up to the nurse's station the day of the induction and said, with a big ol' grin on my face: "Well, I'm here for my induction. This is like going to the dentist. You know pain will be involved, but ya gotta do it."

The resident intern came in to break my water. He was young, good looking and I had never seen him before. As he was sitting there with his hand up my hoo hoo, I said "Hey, I don't know you. Shouldn't we at least have a cup of coffee first before you do that?"

My husband was very bored, and decided to play around with the machines. He was over by the contracto-meter, and noticed the needle rising quite steadily. He turns to me and says, just as I began to feel the contraction, "Ooooh, this one's gonna be a BIG one!". Yeah, didn't need the play by play. I made him go sit down.

And lastly, as the pain got worse, and I wanted to a local, (no epidural for me!), my hubby was on the phone with my mom, and his back was turned to me. I couldn't talk or laugh, I could only gesture with my hands. I was waving frantically for him to go get the nurse. Finally, he turned around, took one look at my facial expression and casually said, "Hey ma, gotta go, I think my wife needs something." NO KIDDING, ASSHAT.

And THIS is why men don't have babies.

notworthstalking

I didn't so much say funny things as cause others to say funny things.

We were living with my parents and I got sent home from the hospital while my labor progressed. Poor old dad hadn't had that experience before as mum was in hospital a week before having us girls. He always paces, but he wore a hole in their yard that day.
My brother in law dropped my sister off at the hospital and saw more than I would have expected lol. He eventually left. Mum and my husband stared at the wall, my poor old sister saw everything. The ob came in the room after the birth to see if we needed help. The midwife said ' surely you at least heard the baby cry .' I was quiet during labour. When the other ob came in to give me stitches she was one of those women who look about 17 , but was probably close to 30. The mid wife informed me 'she's very good at this'

Second one, we barely made it. The 3 year old got worried and my husband and Her left the room. The midwife handed me the baby and asked me my name. The other one said 'your pretty good at this' the ob came in and cried. I am so proud of you , you did so well. Husband came in and said something . The bub actually lifted her head a little to try and face the way his voice was. The first feed lasted longer than the actual birth and ended when I asked the midwife to take as she had peed on me lol.

Kpablo

No pain medication here. Didn't say anything funny.... actually I didn't say anything at all. I sounded like a bear though....which could be either scary or funny.

MissKais0912

no fun during labor... i had a c-section and i threw up during the whole thing

stresco

"Where is the remote? Sponge Bob is on and its a new episode!"

angmarie28

with my first my mom forced me to go to the hospital, when they checked me they said "you are 7cm and 90% effaced" i said "sweet can I leave now" they said "no, your in labor", I insisted I was not and I was going home to bed, well I lost that argument and had him 2 hours later haha.
same with my second (my first 2 i didnt have labor pains until my water broke) then the doctor told me i couldnt eat, but I convinced him otherwise
then my third i had horrible labor pains but i called my mom like a dozen times telling her baby was coming then calling at the end of every contraction to tell her, never mind it stopped, im good

apparently labor puts me in denial, bahahaha

IamOnMywayNow

With my last baby I had him at home in the bathtub. I was in labor for about 5 hours but towards the end I asked my husband if he would check to see if he could feel how much cervix I had left because it was hurting like a mother and I started to involuntary push and was not sure if I was supposed to yet. So he was trying to feel and he said "I cant feel anything, but I see something wrinkly and hairy coming out" and I was like "oh *kitten* that is the baby's head" Then I felt the ring of FIRE and my son was born after one push:)