Informal Poll: Mean People
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No one's said anything negative about my weight loss that I know about. I got plenty of negative comments being fat.0
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DeguelloTex wrote: »
I'm 6'9", fairly large, don't smile a lot, and have a subwoofer kind of voice. I've literally made kids cry just by being there. Even without the long hair anymore, I'm told my vibe is "don't poke the bear, don't even do something that might annoy him." It works for me.DeguelloTex wrote: »While I was still a bit above the normal BMI range, my mother-in-law -- stereotypically -- started commenting negatively. It's probably just a coincidence that people were starting to comment positively on my weight loss rather than hers. It mattered to me precisely 0.00.
Generally, people don't say much out of line to me in person.
Same here. Then again, I've been told I give off a "back off" vibe in general, so maybe people say things behind my back. Don't know. Don't care. It always surprises me how many rude comments people get and how many people have food pushers in their lives. I've never encountered either one of these things.
Oh, your poor kids! I laughed, though. That's funny. I'm the opposite: 5'1" and small, but I have the same demeanor so I understand. I have an addiction to expensive sunglasses and therefore am guilty of keeping them on when I'm inside somewhere like a store, so since people can't make eye contact they pretty much just leave me alone. Someone gave me a coffee cup one time that says, "Are you SURE you want to get on my last nerve today?"0 -
Well, in fairness, it's been other people's kids. Like at the mall a kid will be about eye-high to my thighs. He'll look up to my head. He'll look down. He'll look back up and start crying. Good times.DeguelloTex wrote: »
I'm 6'9", fairly large, don't smile a lot, and have a subwoofer kind of voice. I've literally made kids cry just by being there. Even without the long hair anymore, I'm told my vibe is "don't poke the bear, don't even do something that might annoy him." It works for me.DeguelloTex wrote: »While I was still a bit above the normal BMI range, my mother-in-law -- stereotypically -- started commenting negatively. It's probably just a coincidence that people were starting to comment positively on my weight loss rather than hers. It mattered to me precisely 0.00.
Generally, people don't say much out of line to me in person.
Same here. Then again, I've been told I give off a "back off" vibe in general, so maybe people say things behind my back. Don't know. Don't care. It always surprises me how many rude comments people get and how many people have food pushers in their lives. I've never encountered either one of these things.
Oh, your poor kids! I laughed, though. That's funny. I'm the opposite: 5'1" and small, but I have the same demeanor so I understand. I have an addiction to expensive sunglasses and therefore am guilty of keeping them on when I'm inside somewhere like a store, so since people can't make eye contact they pretty much just leave me alone. Someone gave me a coffee cup one time that says, "Are you SURE you want to get on my last nerve today?"
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DeguelloTex wrote: »
Well, in fairness, it's been other people's kids. Like at the mall a kid will be about eye-high to my thighs. He'll look up to my head. He'll look down. He'll look back up and start crying. Good times.DeguelloTex wrote: »
I'm 6'9", fairly large, don't smile a lot, and have a subwoofer kind of voice. I've literally made kids cry just by being there. Even without the long hair anymore, I'm told my vibe is "don't poke the bear, don't even do something that might annoy him." It works for me.DeguelloTex wrote: »While I was still a bit above the normal BMI range, my mother-in-law -- stereotypically -- started commenting negatively. It's probably just a coincidence that people were starting to comment positively on my weight loss rather than hers. It mattered to me precisely 0.00.
Generally, people don't say much out of line to me in person.
Same here. Then again, I've been told I give off a "back off" vibe in general, so maybe people say things behind my back. Don't know. Don't care. It always surprises me how many rude comments people get and how many people have food pushers in their lives. I've never encountered either one of these things.
Oh, your poor kids! I laughed, though. That's funny. I'm the opposite: 5'1" and small, but I have the same demeanor so I understand. I have an addiction to expensive sunglasses and therefore am guilty of keeping them on when I'm inside somewhere like a store, so since people can't make eye contact they pretty much just leave me alone. Someone gave me a coffee cup one time that says, "Are you SURE you want to get on my last nerve today?"
Nothing like being a spectacle in public, right? Well, those kids need to toughen up and face reality at some point.0 -
I kinda thought this thread was going to be about mean people on mfp.
I don't think anyone's ever said anything mean to me. My coworker has said she thinks I should stop trying to lose weight but she doesn't see my naked stomach and thighs
There's also the fact there aren't many people I actually talk to....0 -
Never, apart from the obligatory "you need to eat more" from grandparents, but everyone knows they'd always say that regardless of anything.0
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Everyone has been actually really supportive about my weight loss. I'm the one who pulls myself apart and think I look awful. Lol0
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I get it all the time from my mother in law, starting from day two. If I eat something healthy, I'm "doing that diet **** again." If I eat like a regular person I hear "pssh, that'll make you fat." Weighing food? I'm obsessive over this/giving myself an eating disorder. But you know what? I don't care. She is depressed about her weight and has no motivation to do anything about it. I just ignore it and continue on my way to being fabulous0
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I was actually told by a coworker last year, and I quote, "You'd be a really pretty girl if you'd lose some of that weight". I act like it doesn't bother me, but part of my motivation is losing this weight by January which is when I return to work.0
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cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
No point for me either, haven't noticed it being a female thing, but some people are even offended by compliments. So weird.0 -
Hmmm, I get asked if I am on gear from time to time. That "could" be considered a negative I guess? Since I'm not, I look at it as a positive though...0
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My grandmother told me I was too chubby when I was five. *Sigh* Really set me off right. I didn't even know what that meant really, but for some reason, it has stuck with me.
I also had a customer refer to me as "the heavy one" in a place where there were only two females working. The other female was a 4'0, black-haired Vietnamese woman. I thought, "Really? There's no other way you could have described me that would've distinguished me from her??"
Edit: Forgot to tell the rest of the story. XP
When I got older and started losing weight, my grandmother became offended that I wouldn't eat everything she put in front of me. You can't have it both ways, Granny.
And that same customer? Looked me up and down when I started losing weight and said I'd gotten too muscular.0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I was actually told by a coworker last year, and I quote, "You'd be a really pretty girl if you'd lose some of that weight". I act like it doesn't bother me, but part of my motivation is losing this weight by January which is when I return to work.
Shameful the things people say. Nothing wrong with using that as motivation as long as you do not actually believe it!0 -
I'm down 55 pounds and at a midrange BMI and have yet to hear a mean comment about my weight loss.0
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Never.
Got plenty of concerned advice when I was fat, but the journey of losing has generating nothing but positive comments and reinforcements and congratulations.
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I have family tell me all the time that I am too thin. I take it as a positive though, as those comments come from overweight people, all of which are dealing with heart issues or diabetes. So, to me, I welcome their remarks, as it validates what I am doing.0
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I've started getting comments now that I'm finally out of the obese range. I still have 20 lbs. to lose to get to a healthy BMI, but people are already saying I don't need to lose any more. Not mean comments, just when I say I'd like to lose 20 more they say, "but there'd be nothing left of you" or like that.0
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I was actually told by a coworker last year, and I quote, "You'd be a really pretty girl if you'd lose some of that weight". I act like it doesn't bother me, but part of my motivation is losing this weight by January which is when I return to work.
Shameful the things people say. Nothing wrong with using that as motivation as long as you do not actually believe it!
I try not to let it get to me, but it still sticks with me. Luckily, my husband is super supportive and reminds me not to believe it.
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I get more crap after I lost the weight than when I was fat.0
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>High Normal BMI
>Midrange BMI
>Low BMI
>Underweight
People have actually made comments like that to me from my "fattest" to my "fittest".
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cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
CW, I think you could be on to something.
I was an obese kid and my dad, brothers, and those outside of home used to make comments all the time. As a young adult, people were pretty mean about my weight too. Now that I've lost to goal, I get comments that I'm too thin, which isn't true (5 ft 5 and 139/140 lbs).
However, not once did my ex husband any boyfriend, or my current man, ever say anything mean about my weight.0 -
People don't say mean things to me either. I am just not particularly approachable. If anyone ever did say something mean, I either never heard it or just disregarded it because I have no recollection of it.
I did however have an intervention once due when I dropped weight very fast after my 2nd child was born due to said disordered eating. It's been a problem on and off since 6th grade. I was well under a healthy weight and making myself quite sick.
It was not mean, though. It was purely out of concern and they were absolutely correct. I couldn't hear it then and it was not until I landed myself in the Dr's office a couple weeks later that I realized the problems I was causing myself.
I think overall that people have a hard time seeing people who are at a healthy weight as healthy due to the obesity epidemic. It is like an unhealthy high weight looks normal now and a healthy weight looks underweight.0 -
barbecuesauce wrote: »At what stage of your weight loss did you begin hearing unsolicited mean comments from those around you? Anything from passive-aggressive barbs to "you have an eating disorder." I would love to hear context, too.
>Obese
>Overweight
>High Normal BMI
>Midrange BMI
>Low BMI
>Underweight
None that I can think of. I have a midrange BMI (22). I've been thinner in the past and not experienced that also. It's possibly quite different social circle to social circle.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
CW, I think you could be on to something.
I was an obese kid and my dad, brothers, and those outside of home used to make comments all the time. As a young adult, people were pretty mean about my weight too. Now that I've lost to goal, I get comments that I'm too thin, which isn't true (5 ft 5 and 139/140 lbs).
However, not once did my ex husband any boyfriend, or my current man, ever say anything mean about my weight.
chicks are mean...srsly...95% of the personnel problems I have to deal with at the office are females fighting with each other or unhappy because so and so said such and such and, "I'm not talkin' to that *kitten* any more" kind of *kitten*.
the dudes are just sitting around like WTF just happened here?0 -
It wasn't really mean, but both my mom and dad have told me in so many words, "Don't lose TOO much weight!"
That was said to me when I was about maybe a BMI of 23, so high normal. In no way, shape or form am I TOO thin. In fact, my body fat percentage is probably still hovering around 30 or so. Too damn high anyway.
And yeah, both my folks are overweight by about 50 pounds or so.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
CW, I think you could be on to something.
I was an obese kid and my dad, brothers, and those outside of home used to make comments all the time. As a young adult, people were pretty mean about my weight too. Now that I've lost to goal, I get comments that I'm too thin, which isn't true (5 ft 5 and 139/140 lbs).
However, not once did my ex husband any boyfriend, or my current man, ever say anything mean about my weight.
chicks are mean...srsly...95% of the personnel problems I have to deal with at the office are females fighting with each other or unhappy because so and so said such and such and, "I'm not talkin' to that *kitten* any more" kind of *kitten*.
the dudes are just sitting around like WTF just happened here?
hahahahahaha indeed!! i totally agree with that, that's why i always always choose to do everything with man, and i don't know it may have something to do that i grew up in a man majority house and got use to work with them and even when i'm a female and i must say that yes man are simple and less drama
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The only time I got mean comments about my weight was from my dad, when I was a pre-teen and in through adulthood, always calling me Pork or Porky or making comments about how I sounded like a herd of elephants when I went by. I was not even remotely close to being overweight - I was a healthy normal weight.
I had some friends make comments about me being "Skinny Minnie" but again, I was in a normal BMI for my height. I was 5'6" and weighed about 125 lbs then. I found it annoying.
Once I became actually obese, nobody made any comments whatsoever, except for my ex boss who hadn't seen me in 8 years - I went from 125 to 225 in that time and he commented "Eh, packin' on the pounds, aren't ya?" What he didn't know was that I had been pregnant 4 times in 5 years and had just given birth to my 3rd child (or 4th if you count my miscarriage between #1 and #2.)
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cwolfman13 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »at no point...
given the number of times I've read through threads like this, I've largely deduced that this is a female thing...
CW, I think you could be on to something.
I was an obese kid and my dad, brothers, and those outside of home used to make comments all the time. As a young adult, people were pretty mean about my weight too. Now that I've lost to goal, I get comments that I'm too thin, which isn't true (5 ft 5 and 139/140 lbs).
However, not once did my ex husband any boyfriend, or my current man, ever say anything mean about my weight.
chicks are mean...srsly...95% of the personnel problems I have to deal with at the office are females fighting with each other or unhappy because so and so said such and such and, "I'm not talkin' to that *kitten* any more" kind of *kitten*.
the dudes are just sitting around like WTF just happened here?
Yes, I agree..
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