To all of my gym rats!!
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LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I don't think you've been educated enough about steroids. Steroids may be cheating IN A WAY. BUT that doesn't mean people on steroids sit on their butts and just let the steroids do all the magic. You could take as many steroids as you want and not workout at all, I promise you will hardly gain anything. Those huge body builders are all on steroids and you can try to take twice the amount of the steroids they take and I will also promise you, you will never get that big or strong especially if you do not put the work in AND do not have the genes. I know many people who are on steroids (because of my boyfriend) who have been working out on steroids for almost 4 years and are still not close to being as big as my boyfriend or the rock or any body builder. Watch bigger faster stronger documentary. You'll learn a lot more than you May think you know now.yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »Lol steroids def have a little to do with it but he doesn't take as much as your thinking. Just once a week and no more. Ppl who shoot 7 days a week are abusing it even 5 days a week is too much. Some people shoot 7 days a week and cannot get as big as the rock. Genetics have a lot to do with it too and so does how hard you work. But yeah they are pretty amazing lol
You bf takes steroids. LOL is this a joke thread now. Now you definitely already have the answer even before starting the thread.
to comment on yes I have a friend who is a natural lifter that most people think he takes steroids because he is stronger than a lot of folks and looks that way. It took him over a decade of natural lifting to get to where he is now.
Steroids is cheating. Please don't comment about your bf putting in work and juicing while he does.
I pretty sure my steroid education is more than you think that why I can judge them because I know whats happens. I will continue to judge them poorly too because I know how much less work it takes than a natural lifter.
That where you are wrong by you thinking that I think you can gain muscle mass sitting on the couch taking steroids. That not the kind of work I am talking about. There is diet work which is way more than you think for a natural lifter to get a body builder type of body along with maximum time under tension. I have been weight training for close to a decade. You really think you know more about lifting than what I might have already experience?
I don't think you know what you are talking about.
What part are you questioning?
Most everything you are saying, but more so the parts that aren't complete thoughts or sentences.
Let me ask you something. To get a body builder physique which would accomplish it quicker?
Person A does a structure program and eat in surplus.
Person B does exactly the same as person a and takes steroids.
Lets assume the other factors are the same and steroid use is the only difference.
Person B, obviously. Doesn't mean it is cheating in any way if you are using it for recreational purposes. You still have to put in the effort.
That effort is less than a natural lifter right? Or is it more effort?
I think you make a poor argument. Look at any top lifter. or athlete for that matter and tell me that they are only better than you because of their gear use and not their effort.
Do you train harder than then someone whose job is to perform?
Of course not. Do I train hard yes I do. I have got stronger in a calorie deficit and I am by no means new lifter.
Maybe you know this question, how much of the recovery time is shorten taking steroids as to natural lifter?
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yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I don't think you've been educated enough about steroids. Steroids may be cheating IN A WAY. BUT that doesn't mean people on steroids sit on their butts and just let the steroids do all the magic. You could take as many steroids as you want and not workout at all, I promise you will hardly gain anything. Those huge body builders are all on steroids and you can try to take twice the amount of the steroids they take and I will also promise you, you will never get that big or strong especially if you do not put the work in AND do not have the genes. I know many people who are on steroids (because of my boyfriend) who have been working out on steroids for almost 4 years and are still not close to being as big as my boyfriend or the rock or any body builder. Watch bigger faster stronger documentary. You'll learn a lot more than you May think you know now.yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »Lol steroids def have a little to do with it but he doesn't take as much as your thinking. Just once a week and no more. Ppl who shoot 7 days a week are abusing it even 5 days a week is too much. Some people shoot 7 days a week and cannot get as big as the rock. Genetics have a lot to do with it too and so does how hard you work. But yeah they are pretty amazing lol
You bf takes steroids. LOL is this a joke thread now. Now you definitely already have the answer even before starting the thread.
to comment on yes I have a friend who is a natural lifter that most people think he takes steroids because he is stronger than a lot of folks and looks that way. It took him over a decade of natural lifting to get to where he is now.
Steroids is cheating. Please don't comment about your bf putting in work and juicing while he does.
I pretty sure my steroid education is more than you think that why I can judge them because I know whats happens. I will continue to judge them poorly too because I know how much less work it takes than a natural lifter.
That where you are wrong by you thinking that I think you can gain muscle mass sitting on the couch taking steroids. That not the kind of work I am talking about. There is diet work which is way more than you think for a natural lifter to get a body builder type of body along with maximum time under tension. I have been weight training for close to a decade. You really think you know more about lifting than what I might have already experience?
I don't think you know what you are talking about.
What part are you questioning?
Most everything you are saying, but more so the parts that aren't complete thoughts or sentences.
Let me ask you something. To get a body builder physique which would accomplish it quicker?
Person A does a structure program and eat in surplus.
Person B does exactly the same as person a and takes steroids.
Lets assume the other factors are the same and steroid use is the only difference.
Person B, obviously. Doesn't mean it is cheating in any way if you are using it for recreational purposes. You still have to put in the effort.
That effort is less than a natural lifter right? Or is it more effort?
I think you make a poor argument. Look at any top lifter. or athlete for that matter and tell me that they are only better than you because of their gear use and not their effort.
Do you train harder than then someone whose job is to perform?
Of course not. Do I train hard yes I do.
Maybe you know this question, how much of the recovery time is shorten taking steroids as to natural lifter?
I would imagine that is largely individual and it would depend upon the types of substances and doses.. don't you think?
Now, answer my question as to how it is considered cheating in a recreational sense.0 -
What is OP stand for? other person? Never been this way before. Because of things that have to do with him is why I feel the way I feel. Been in several relationships where I never felt so horrible when it came to other females. Yes this is unhealthy I know but I am trying to fix this and get some advice from other people about the situation I posted about. Have nobody else to ask because do not want my business all over the place. He is a 33 almost 34 year old man. You would be surprised how many people are out there that feel the same way. Even older people. It's just isn't something people would really talk about with everyone and is exactly why I am here where nobody knows me.slideaway1 wrote: »CarlydogsMom wrote: »"He's not. Idk what it is with him and other guys. I mean I guess I could somewhat understand because it would somewhat bother me too if it was the other way around. But he gets mad if my number is given out to certain guys, for example like from my class (I usually get their number for school reasons nothing bad) and he always says why don't you talk to girls in your class why is it always a guy who gets your number. Or if a random guy comes up to me and tries to have a conversation and he sees if he's picking me up from school or something he gets really upset about it, which I could somewhat understand because i wouldn't want him standing next to some girl holding a conversation, knowing there could be attraction involved and maybe lead to more because you never know who has enough will power to not cheat on their significant other. I don't really ever tell him this just saying how I would feel about the situation lol"
OH MY GOD. This sounds like two junior high schoolers. Do you want to be in a relationship like this where your "man" (loosely) gets upset when you're talking to another male, i.e. about half of the world's population? This is so unhealthy, and you're rationalizing so much of the immature behavior, including yours. Really, if you're going to feel the least bit concerned when you see your man talking to another woman who might be pretty, the trust is gone. Move on.
To be fair, this guy sound Alpha as Fu@k. He's obviously doing something right is the OP is happy to accept it. What a guy.
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slideaway1 wrote: »CarlydogsMom wrote: »"He's not. Idk what it is with him and other guys. I mean I guess I could somewhat understand because it would somewhat bother me too if it was the other way around. But he gets mad if my number is given out to certain guys, for example like from my class (I usually get their number for school reasons nothing bad) and he always says why don't you talk to girls in your class why is it always a guy who gets your number. Or if a random guy comes up to me and tries to have a conversation and he sees if he's picking me up from school or something he gets really upset about it, which I could somewhat understand because i wouldn't want him standing next to some girl holding a conversation, knowing there could be attraction involved and maybe lead to more because you never know who has enough will power to not cheat on their significant other. I don't really ever tell him this just saying how I would feel about the situation lol"
OH MY GOD. This sounds like two junior high schoolers. Do you want to be in a relationship like this where your "man" (loosely) gets upset when you're talking to another male, i.e. about half of the world's population? This is so unhealthy, and you're rationalizing so much of the immature behavior, including yours. Really, if you're going to feel the least bit concerned when you see your man talking to another woman who might be pretty, the trust is gone. Move on.
To be fair, this guy sound Alpha as Fu@k. He's obviously doing something right is the OP is happy to accept it. What a guy.
Are you serious? I am hoping that my interweb sarcasm detector is off today...
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Was this to me?0
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You obviously aren't getting anywhere with talking to him, so ask him to take you along.
If he refuses then your relationship is doomed because talking hasn't worked.0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »What is OP stand for? other person? Never been this way before. Because of things that have to do with him is why I feel the way I feel. Been in several relationships where I never felt so horrible when it came to other females. Yes this is unhealthy I know but I am trying to fix this and get some advice from other people about the situation I posted about. Have nobody else to ask because do not want my business all over the place. He is a 33 almost 34 year old man. You would be surprised how many people are out there that feel the same way. Even older people. It's just isn't something people would really talk about with everyone and is exactly why I am here where nobody knows me.slideaway1 wrote: »CarlydogsMom wrote: »"He's not. Idk what it is with him and other guys. I mean I guess I could somewhat understand because it would somewhat bother me too if it was the other way around. But he gets mad if my number is given out to certain guys, for example like from my class (I usually get their number for school reasons nothing bad) and he always says why don't you talk to girls in your class why is it always a guy who gets your number. Or if a random guy comes up to me and tries to have a conversation and he sees if he's picking me up from school or something he gets really upset about it, which I could somewhat understand because i wouldn't want him standing next to some girl holding a conversation, knowing there could be attraction involved and maybe lead to more because you never know who has enough will power to not cheat on their significant other. I don't really ever tell him this just saying how I would feel about the situation lol"
OH MY GOD. This sounds like two junior high schoolers. Do you want to be in a relationship like this where your "man" (loosely) gets upset when you're talking to another male, i.e. about half of the world's population? This is so unhealthy, and you're rationalizing so much of the immature behavior, including yours. Really, if you're going to feel the least bit concerned when you see your man talking to another woman who might be pretty, the trust is gone. Move on.
To be fair, this guy sound Alpha as Fu@k. He's obviously doing something right is the OP is happy to accept it. What a guy.
You can't fix this.
If he's done things to lose your trust and isn't actively trying to earn it back and tries to control who you talk to, there is nothing you can do to fix this. The sooner you learn that, honey, the better your life is going to be.0 -
branflakes1980 wrote: »slideaway1 wrote: »CarlydogsMom wrote: »"He's not. Idk what it is with him and other guys. I mean I guess I could somewhat understand because it would somewhat bother me too if it was the other way around. But he gets mad if my number is given out to certain guys, for example like from my class (I usually get their number for school reasons nothing bad) and he always says why don't you talk to girls in your class why is it always a guy who gets your number. Or if a random guy comes up to me and tries to have a conversation and he sees if he's picking me up from school or something he gets really upset about it, which I could somewhat understand because i wouldn't want him standing next to some girl holding a conversation, knowing there could be attraction involved and maybe lead to more because you never know who has enough will power to not cheat on their significant other. I don't really ever tell him this just saying how I would feel about the situation lol"
OH MY GOD. This sounds like two junior high schoolers. Do you want to be in a relationship like this where your "man" (loosely) gets upset when you're talking to another male, i.e. about half of the world's population? This is so unhealthy, and you're rationalizing so much of the immature behavior, including yours. Really, if you're going to feel the least bit concerned when you see your man talking to another woman who might be pretty, the trust is gone. Move on.
To be fair, this guy sound Alpha as Fu@k. He's obviously doing something right is the OP is happy to accept it. What a guy.
Are you serious? I am hoping that my interweb sarcasm detector is off today...
Yeah, I was joking. Sort of. She is obviously with him for a reason though, and seems happy to forgive certain relationship flaws because this guy looks like The Rock. A physique like that does not happen by accident and can allow someone to get away with a multitude of sins. Again, joking. ort of.
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LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I don't think you've been educated enough about steroids. Steroids may be cheating IN A WAY. BUT that doesn't mean people on steroids sit on their butts and just let the steroids do all the magic. You could take as many steroids as you want and not workout at all, I promise you will hardly gain anything. Those huge body builders are all on steroids and you can try to take twice the amount of the steroids they take and I will also promise you, you will never get that big or strong especially if you do not put the work in AND do not have the genes. I know many people who are on steroids (because of my boyfriend) who have been working out on steroids for almost 4 years and are still not close to being as big as my boyfriend or the rock or any body builder. Watch bigger faster stronger documentary. You'll learn a lot more than you May think you know now.yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »Lol steroids def have a little to do with it but he doesn't take as much as your thinking. Just once a week and no more. Ppl who shoot 7 days a week are abusing it even 5 days a week is too much. Some people shoot 7 days a week and cannot get as big as the rock. Genetics have a lot to do with it too and so does how hard you work. But yeah they are pretty amazing lol
You bf takes steroids. LOL is this a joke thread now. Now you definitely already have the answer even before starting the thread.
to comment on yes I have a friend who is a natural lifter that most people think he takes steroids because he is stronger than a lot of folks and looks that way. It took him over a decade of natural lifting to get to where he is now.
Steroids is cheating. Please don't comment about your bf putting in work and juicing while he does.
I pretty sure my steroid education is more than you think that why I can judge them because I know whats happens. I will continue to judge them poorly too because I know how much less work it takes than a natural lifter.
That where you are wrong by you thinking that I think you can gain muscle mass sitting on the couch taking steroids. That not the kind of work I am talking about. There is diet work which is way more than you think for a natural lifter to get a body builder type of body along with maximum time under tension. I have been weight training for close to a decade. You really think you know more about lifting than what I might have already experience?
I don't think you know what you are talking about.
What part are you questioning?
Most everything you are saying, but more so the parts that aren't complete thoughts or sentences.
Let me ask you something. To get a body builder physique which would accomplish it quicker?
Person A does a structure program and eat in surplus.
Person B does exactly the same as person a and takes steroids.
Lets assume the other factors are the same and steroid use is the only difference.
Person B, obviously. Doesn't mean it is cheating in any way if you are using it for recreational purposes. You still have to put in the effort.
That effort is less than a natural lifter right? Or is it more effort?
I think you make a poor argument. Look at any top lifter. or athlete for that matter and tell me that they are only better than you because of their gear use and not their effort.
Do you train harder than then someone whose job is to perform?
Of course not. Do I train hard yes I do.
Maybe you know this question, how much of the recovery time is shorten taking steroids as to natural lifter?
I would imagine that is largely individual and it would depend upon the types of substances and doses.. don't you think?
Now, answer my question as to how it is considered cheating in a recreational sense.
You mean in a vanity sense maybe. Why else juice for recreational use? There are exceptions. You basically take away I don't know how much recovery time is shorten using while us natural lifters try so hard to get our size. The time it takes is shorten a lot because of whatever roid is being used. Then of course people will comment and talk so much about what you accomplish but you cheated to get there.
I think you can tell that I don't give Arnold so much credit. I think I saw a old photo of him incline pressing what looks to be 225. That is awesome right. How long would that take a natural lifter to be able to incline press 225?
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jtraska594 wrote: »That is true. And the only reason I'm doing this now and still having a discussion is because I'm in a really tough situation right now. Yesterday was the first time I ever posted about my relationship. Never felt the need. Always thought it could be a coincidence or just not something to worry too much about because I never see him talking to girls or texting isn't afraid to leave his phone laying around when he's not around. Left his phone home once when he was at the gym and knew just didn't bother to go back and take it. He also spends most of his time with me, the only thing he really does is go to the gym mon-thur for 4 hours. If he misses the gym one of those days he will make up for it on Friday maybe sometimes sat or Sunday. Like I said earlier some of my family members or friends tell me I do not have enough proof to accuse him and to not say anything until something really comes out. So just really need some advice from other people who can maybe tell me how this situation sounds. There is a lot more to it from the past that has led me to think this. (Not that he has cheated or atleast I know of any cheating) but it is along those lines.Sarah4fitness wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I can have the conversation and have before but if I keep asking he will get annoyed and mad. Never really know what to ask when I do talk to him and sometimes when I do have the conversation I come out as if I am accusing and assuming somethingSarah4fitness wrote: »Dude. You've answered your own question. You don't trust him, and/or he wouldn't tell you the truth. Relationship=broken.jtraska594 wrote: »I will definitely be asking him one of these days this week. Just don't know how comfortable I will feel doing it. He also usually works out with a friend or two when he is at the gym. Could that be what takes a lot of time or still doesn't matter ?
Have you ever met or seen someone who looks like the rock and works out for THAT long?slideaway1 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I have a lot of reasons behind what I am doing. I have trust issues because of things that happened in this relationship. Never had such bad trust issues with a man.PeachyPlum wrote: »Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?
Trust issues. Well you more likely have the answer already.
It hurts me to say this, but I'm afraid he is both a gym rat...and a love rat.
slideaway1 wrote: »Can you suggest to go and work out with him one evening out of the blue. Lets see him sustain a four hour workout then with you watching him whilst do a little light cardio.
If you cannot have this conversation you have no business considering marriage and children with him.
If you don't trust him to the point where on a SERIOUS discussion, one that affects you and your peace of mind in the relationship, you think he'll lie to you, or get mad if you ask, then sorry, it's a bad relationship.
You CAN be at the gym for 4 hours. But if you WANT to be at home with your girlfriend, you WON'T be. Period.
Here's the thing. You need to have it out with him.
If you're just being paranoid, in reality have no reason not to trust him and are wrong, then HE'S in the wrong relationship.
If he hasn't given you a solid basis on which to trust him, and he lies to you in general, then YOU'RE in the wrong relationship.
If neither of these situations are true, and he's 100% above board, and you're not just trust-damaged in general, then the conversation should be super compassionate and easy to have together (and you wouldn't be online asking strangers if 4 hours in the gym is absurd, EVEN for a competitive bodybuilder. Which it is.).0 -
PeachyPlum wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »What is OP stand for? other person? Never been this way before. Because of things that have to do with him is why I feel the way I feel. Been in several relationships where I never felt so horrible when it came to other females. Yes this is unhealthy I know but I am trying to fix this and get some advice from other people about the situation I posted about. Have nobody else to ask because do not want my business all over the place. He is a 33 almost 34 year old man. You would be surprised how many people are out there that feel the same way. Even older people. It's just isn't something people would really talk about with everyone and is exactly why I am here where nobody knows me.slideaway1 wrote: »CarlydogsMom wrote: »"He's not. Idk what it is with him and other guys. I mean I guess I could somewhat understand because it would somewhat bother me too if it was the other way around. But he gets mad if my number is given out to certain guys, for example like from my class (I usually get their number for school reasons nothing bad) and he always says why don't you talk to girls in your class why is it always a guy who gets your number. Or if a random guy comes up to me and tries to have a conversation and he sees if he's picking me up from school or something he gets really upset about it, which I could somewhat understand because i wouldn't want him standing next to some girl holding a conversation, knowing there could be attraction involved and maybe lead to more because you never know who has enough will power to not cheat on their significant other. I don't really ever tell him this just saying how I would feel about the situation lol"
OH MY GOD. This sounds like two junior high schoolers. Do you want to be in a relationship like this where your "man" (loosely) gets upset when you're talking to another male, i.e. about half of the world's population? This is so unhealthy, and you're rationalizing so much of the immature behavior, including yours. Really, if you're going to feel the least bit concerned when you see your man talking to another woman who might be pretty, the trust is gone. Move on.
To be fair, this guy sound Alpha as Fu@k. He's obviously doing something right is the OP is happy to accept it. What a guy.
You can't fix this.
If he's done things to lose your trust and isn't actively trying to earn it back and tries to control who you talk to, there is nothing you can do to fix this. The sooner you learn that, honey, the better your life is going to be.
Yep. I'd tell her to cut her losses, but I don't think dumping him would be gaining not losing.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »LolBroScience wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I don't think you've been educated enough about steroids. Steroids may be cheating IN A WAY. BUT that doesn't mean people on steroids sit on their butts and just let the steroids do all the magic. You could take as many steroids as you want and not workout at all, I promise you will hardly gain anything. Those huge body builders are all on steroids and you can try to take twice the amount of the steroids they take and I will also promise you, you will never get that big or strong especially if you do not put the work in AND do not have the genes. I know many people who are on steroids (because of my boyfriend) who have been working out on steroids for almost 4 years and are still not close to being as big as my boyfriend or the rock or any body builder. Watch bigger faster stronger documentary. You'll learn a lot more than you May think you know now.yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »Lol steroids def have a little to do with it but he doesn't take as much as your thinking. Just once a week and no more. Ppl who shoot 7 days a week are abusing it even 5 days a week is too much. Some people shoot 7 days a week and cannot get as big as the rock. Genetics have a lot to do with it too and so does how hard you work. But yeah they are pretty amazing lol
You bf takes steroids. LOL is this a joke thread now. Now you definitely already have the answer even before starting the thread.
to comment on yes I have a friend who is a natural lifter that most people think he takes steroids because he is stronger than a lot of folks and looks that way. It took him over a decade of natural lifting to get to where he is now.
Steroids is cheating. Please don't comment about your bf putting in work and juicing while he does.
I pretty sure my steroid education is more than you think that why I can judge them because I know whats happens. I will continue to judge them poorly too because I know how much less work it takes than a natural lifter.
That where you are wrong by you thinking that I think you can gain muscle mass sitting on the couch taking steroids. That not the kind of work I am talking about. There is diet work which is way more than you think for a natural lifter to get a body builder type of body along with maximum time under tension. I have been weight training for close to a decade. You really think you know more about lifting than what I might have already experience?
I don't think you know what you are talking about.
What part are you questioning?
Most everything you are saying, but more so the parts that aren't complete thoughts or sentences.
Let me ask you something. To get a body builder physique which would accomplish it quicker?
Person A does a structure program and eat in surplus.
Person B does exactly the same as person a and takes steroids.
Lets assume the other factors are the same and steroid use is the only difference.
Person B, obviously. Doesn't mean it is cheating in any way if you are using it for recreational purposes. You still have to put in the effort.
That effort is less than a natural lifter right? Or is it more effort?
I think you make a poor argument. Look at any top lifter. or athlete for that matter and tell me that they are only better than you because of their gear use and not their effort.
Do you train harder than then someone whose job is to perform?
Of course not. Do I train hard yes I do.
Maybe you know this question, how much of the recovery time is shorten taking steroids as to natural lifter?
I would imagine that is largely individual and it would depend upon the types of substances and doses.. don't you think?
Now, answer my question as to how it is considered cheating in a recreational sense.
You mean in a vanity sense maybe. Why else juice for recreational use? There are exceptions. You basically take away I don't know how much recovery time is shorten using while us natural lifters try so hard to get our size. The time it takes is shorten a lot because of whatever roid is being used. Then of course people will comment and talk so much about what you accomplish but you cheated to get there.
I think you can tell that I don't give Arnold so much credit. I think I saw a old photo of him incline pressing what looks to be 225. That is awesome right. How long would that take a natural lifter to be able to incline press 225?
Absolutely for vanity reasons, or even for jobs such as modeling, etc.
Hope you don't like baseball, basketball, football, hockey, mma, boxing, soccer, or any sport for that matter since the vast majority of athletes are on something.
BTW, your sentences are still extremely difficult to comprehend.0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »What is OP stand for? other person? Never been this way before. Because of things that have to do with him is why I feel the way I feel. Been in several relationships where I never felt so horrible when it came to other females. Yes this is unhealthy I know but I am trying to fix this and get some advice from other people about the situation I posted about. Have nobody else to ask because do not want my business all over the place. He is a 33 almost 34 year old man. You would be surprised how many people are out there that feel the same way. Even older people. It's just isn't something people would really talk about with everyone and is exactly why I am here where nobody knows me.slideaway1 wrote: »CarlydogsMom wrote: »"He's not. Idk what it is with him and other guys. I mean I guess I could somewhat understand because it would somewhat bother me too if it was the other way around. But he gets mad if my number is given out to certain guys, for example like from my class (I usually get their number for school reasons nothing bad) and he always says why don't you talk to girls in your class why is it always a guy who gets your number. Or if a random guy comes up to me and tries to have a conversation and he sees if he's picking me up from school or something he gets really upset about it, which I could somewhat understand because i wouldn't want him standing next to some girl holding a conversation, knowing there could be attraction involved and maybe lead to more because you never know who has enough will power to not cheat on their significant other. I don't really ever tell him this just saying how I would feel about the situation lol"
OH MY GOD. This sounds like two junior high schoolers. Do you want to be in a relationship like this where your "man" (loosely) gets upset when you're talking to another male, i.e. about half of the world's population? This is so unhealthy, and you're rationalizing so much of the immature behavior, including yours. Really, if you're going to feel the least bit concerned when you see your man talking to another woman who might be pretty, the trust is gone. Move on.
To be fair, this guy sound Alpha as Fu@k. He's obviously doing something right is the OP is happy to accept it. What a guy.
The issue here is the way he isolates you, tells you what you can and cannot do, and that he's easily jealous. Those are traits to run FAR away from. Generally, they don't change, especially given his age.
Without a car, how do you get around to where you need to go? You mentioned school. College? Do you work? I'd definitely work on gaining some independence.
You say he comes home from work "really early" then goes to the gym later. What kind of job does he have that allows that? Not that we need to know specifically, but meaning, is he honest to you about everything in his life?0 -
I have but it always comes off as accusing him. I have before and the more I do it he gets mad because, I have been doing it more often lately.LolBroScience wrote: »OP, just discuss your concerns with your SO. Otherwise, you're going to end up staying in a very broken relationship being unhappy.
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OP = Original Post(er)
The boyfriend sounds like a complete tool, even if he does look like the Rock.
But the OP doesn't sound too bright. How old are you guys? Somehow I doubt he is close to the Rock's size since the two of you sound like you're still in your late teens/early twenties. It takes time to get that big.0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »What is OP stand for? other person? Never been this way before. Because of things that have to do with him is why I feel the way I feel. Been in several relationships where I never felt so horrible when it came to other females. Yes this is unhealthy I know but I am trying to fix this and get some advice from other people about the situation I posted about. Have nobody else to ask because do not want my business all over the place. He is a 33 almost 34 year old man. You would be surprised how many people are out there that feel the same way. Even older people. It's just isn't something people would really talk about with everyone and is exactly why I am here where nobody knows me.slideaway1 wrote: »CarlydogsMom wrote: »"He's not. Idk what it is with him and other guys. I mean I guess I could somewhat understand because it would somewhat bother me too if it was the other way around. But he gets mad if my number is given out to certain guys, for example like from my class (I usually get their number for school reasons nothing bad) and he always says why don't you talk to girls in your class why is it always a guy who gets your number. Or if a random guy comes up to me and tries to have a conversation and he sees if he's picking me up from school or something he gets really upset about it, which I could somewhat understand because i wouldn't want him standing next to some girl holding a conversation, knowing there could be attraction involved and maybe lead to more because you never know who has enough will power to not cheat on their significant other. I don't really ever tell him this just saying how I would feel about the situation lol"
OH MY GOD. This sounds like two junior high schoolers. Do you want to be in a relationship like this where your "man" (loosely) gets upset when you're talking to another male, i.e. about half of the world's population? This is so unhealthy, and you're rationalizing so much of the immature behavior, including yours. Really, if you're going to feel the least bit concerned when you see your man talking to another woman who might be pretty, the trust is gone. Move on.
To be fair, this guy sound Alpha as Fu@k. He's obviously doing something right is the OP is happy to accept it. What a guy.
The issue here is the way he isolates you, tells you what you can and cannot do, and that he's easily jealous. Those are traits to run FAR away from. Generally, they don't change, especially given his age.
Without a car, how do you get around to where you need to go? You mentioned school. College? Do you work? I'd definitely work on gaining some independence.
You say he comes home from work "really early" then goes to the gym later. What kind of job does he have that allows that? Not that we need to know specifically, but meaning, is he honest to you about everything in his life?
Both of these things scare the crap out of me on the OP's behalf.0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »I have but it always comes off as accusing him. I have before and the more I do it he gets mad because, I have been doing it more often lately.LolBroScience wrote: »OP, just discuss your concerns with your SO. Otherwise, you're going to end up staying in a very broken relationship being unhappy.
Your relationship is doomed.0 -
Do you actually know people who are and the way they train?Sarah4fitness wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »That is true. And the only reason I'm doing this now and still having a discussion is because I'm in a really tough situation right now. Yesterday was the first time I ever posted about my relationship. Never felt the need. Always thought it could be a coincidence or just not something to worry too much about because I never see him talking to girls or texting isn't afraid to leave his phone laying around when he's not around. Left his phone home once when he was at the gym and knew just didn't bother to go back and take it. He also spends most of his time with me, the only thing he really does is go to the gym mon-thur for 4 hours. If he misses the gym one of those days he will make up for it on Friday maybe sometimes sat or Sunday. Like I said earlier some of my family members or friends tell me I do not have enough proof to accuse him and to not say anything until something really comes out. So just really need some advice from other people who can maybe tell me how this situation sounds. There is a lot more to it from the past that has led me to think this. (Not that he has cheated or atleast I know of any cheating) but it is along those lines.Sarah4fitness wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I can have the conversation and have before but if I keep asking he will get annoyed and mad. Never really know what to ask when I do talk to him and sometimes when I do have the conversation I come out as if I am accusing and assuming somethingSarah4fitness wrote: »Dude. You've answered your own question. You don't trust him, and/or he wouldn't tell you the truth. Relationship=broken.jtraska594 wrote: »I will definitely be asking him one of these days this week. Just don't know how comfortable I will feel doing it. He also usually works out with a friend or two when he is at the gym. Could that be what takes a lot of time or still doesn't matter ?
Have you ever met or seen someone who looks like the rock and works out for THAT long?slideaway1 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I have a lot of reasons behind what I am doing. I have trust issues because of things that happened in this relationship. Never had such bad trust issues with a man.PeachyPlum wrote: »Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?
Trust issues. Well you more likely have the answer already.
It hurts me to say this, but I'm afraid he is both a gym rat...and a love rat.slideaway1 wrote: »Can you suggest to go and work out with him one evening out of the blue. Lets see him sustain a four hour workout then with you watching him whilst do a little light cardio.
If you cannot have this conversation you have no business considering marriage and children with him.
If you don't trust him to the point where on a SERIOUS discussion, one that affects you and your peace of mind in the relationship, you think he'll lie to you, or get mad if you ask, then sorry, it's a bad relationship.
You CAN be at the gym for 4 hours. But if you WANT to be at home with your girlfriend, you WON'T be. Period.
Here's the thing. You need to have it out with him.
If you're just being paranoid, in reality have no reason not to trust him and are wrong, then HE'S in the wrong relationship.
If he hasn't given you a solid basis on which to trust him, and he lies to you in general, then YOU'RE in the wrong relationship.
If neither of these situations are true, and he's 100% above board, and you're not just trust-damaged in general, then the conversation should be super compassionate and easy to have together (and you wouldn't be online asking strangers if 4 hours in the gym is absurd, EVEN for a competitive bodybuilder. Which it is.).
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Oh Girl! I know you can't understand this right now, but you are only 22 years old and you're not married. Get THE F OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. I'm not saying he's cheating. It doesn't matter if he is or isn't. You don't trust him. And HE DOESN'T TRUST YOU (he wants you to join an all women's gym?? Yet HIS gym isn't all men, is it??).
You're too young to be tied down to someone who you don't trust, and who doesn't trust you. Your friends and family say to wait for "proof"? WHY. You aren' getting divorced, this isn't a legal proceeding that requires documentation. The proof is that gut feeling nagging at you.
I promise you have your whole life ahead of you and plenty of time to meet the right guy...someone you'll NEVER question, and he will never doubt you.
This isn't love.
Love is being married to someone for 12 years and getting annoyed some days, full on arguing other days, but always trusting each other. You can have that one day, but this isn't it.0 -
jtraska594 wrote: »Do you actually know people who are and the way they train?Sarah4fitness wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »That is true. And the only reason I'm doing this now and still having a discussion is because I'm in a really tough situation right now. Yesterday was the first time I ever posted about my relationship. Never felt the need. Always thought it could be a coincidence or just not something to worry too much about because I never see him talking to girls or texting isn't afraid to leave his phone laying around when he's not around. Left his phone home once when he was at the gym and knew just didn't bother to go back and take it. He also spends most of his time with me, the only thing he really does is go to the gym mon-thur for 4 hours. If he misses the gym one of those days he will make up for it on Friday maybe sometimes sat or Sunday. Like I said earlier some of my family members or friends tell me I do not have enough proof to accuse him and to not say anything until something really comes out. So just really need some advice from other people who can maybe tell me how this situation sounds. There is a lot more to it from the past that has led me to think this. (Not that he has cheated or atleast I know of any cheating) but it is along those lines.Sarah4fitness wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I can have the conversation and have before but if I keep asking he will get annoyed and mad. Never really know what to ask when I do talk to him and sometimes when I do have the conversation I come out as if I am accusing and assuming somethingSarah4fitness wrote: »Dude. You've answered your own question. You don't trust him, and/or he wouldn't tell you the truth. Relationship=broken.jtraska594 wrote: »I will definitely be asking him one of these days this week. Just don't know how comfortable I will feel doing it. He also usually works out with a friend or two when he is at the gym. Could that be what takes a lot of time or still doesn't matter ?
Have you ever met or seen someone who looks like the rock and works out for THAT long?slideaway1 wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »jtraska594 wrote: »I have a lot of reasons behind what I am doing. I have trust issues because of things that happened in this relationship. Never had such bad trust issues with a man.PeachyPlum wrote: »Look, if you think something is wrong to the point where you're asking a bunch of internet strangers whether something seems wrong, there's probably something wrong.
Either way, it's obvious that you don't trust him, either because he is not worthy of your trust or because you're not in a space mentally where you're able to trust people.
Why would you want to be with someone you don't trust?
Trust issues. Well you more likely have the answer already.
It hurts me to say this, but I'm afraid he is both a gym rat...and a love rat.slideaway1 wrote: »Can you suggest to go and work out with him one evening out of the blue. Lets see him sustain a four hour workout then with you watching him whilst do a little light cardio.
If you cannot have this conversation you have no business considering marriage and children with him.
If you don't trust him to the point where on a SERIOUS discussion, one that affects you and your peace of mind in the relationship, you think he'll lie to you, or get mad if you ask, then sorry, it's a bad relationship.
You CAN be at the gym for 4 hours. But if you WANT to be at home with your girlfriend, you WON'T be. Period.
Here's the thing. You need to have it out with him.
If you're just being paranoid, in reality have no reason not to trust him and are wrong, then HE'S in the wrong relationship.
If he hasn't given you a solid basis on which to trust him, and he lies to you in general, then YOU'RE in the wrong relationship.
If neither of these situations are true, and he's 100% above board, and you're not just trust-damaged in general, then the conversation should be super compassionate and easy to have together (and you wouldn't be online asking strangers if 4 hours in the gym is absurd, EVEN for a competitive bodybuilder. Which it is.).
YES.
I know several pro bodybuilders personally, and more from online friendships. You're seeking ANY excuse to write off what it sounds like your gut already knows. Something's off. Might be him. Might be you. Either case, this is the wrong relationship for you guys.0
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