is it wrong to lose weight for a man ?

gothicfires

loosing weight isn't going to fix a bad relationship.

ak4niner

As a man, I wouldn't want my wife to lose weight purely for me. It isn't bad if the significant other is one of the motivations, but as many have already stated you have to do it for yourself primarily.

That being said, I want to live a long life with my beautiful wife, and so I nudge her to do healthy things. I guess that is kind of selfish, but I will just have to live with that.

callsitlikeiseeit

if you need to ask yourself that question, you have your answer.....

Varamyr38

fat2fitmom2016 wrote: »

Have any of you lost weight for a man? Do you think that's a wrong reason to lose weight?

As long as you're getting healthy, is there a wrong reason? Whatever motivates you.

Ninkyou

Why would you need to lose weight for him in the first place? Is he not attracted to you as you are? Does he only care about your physical appearance?

I get wanting to lose weight to FEEL sexy, but that's a different issue. That would be for you, not him.

tomatoey

If you lose weight, yeah why not.

Ok really though, I don't think it's terrible to want to be attractive, and I don't know, although anything could happen at any time, if you can stay in shape for a partner, that's not terrible either, it'll probably help the relationship. (I mean not if there's something actually wrong with it. More like it's part of reasonable maintenance of a decent relationship.)

But you need to do you for yourself at least as much. A because it won't work otherwise. It's hard to make big life changes that involve daily decisions just for another person. And B because although it's nice to look nice for a partner, letting someone else determine your value is a bad idea. They could change their minds, for instance.

PrizePopple

senecarr

asflatasapancake wrote: »

I have never lost weight for a man. Having said that, there's all types of motivation for getting healthy. Just as long as your only motivation isn't just for someone else. Because if it falls apart, than so does your health.

You're not losing weight for yourself?

Ftw37

I lost weight for a man. Myself. I'm down 260+ pounds. Never felt better.

PaulaWallaDingDong

It's not a great reason, but it's not the worst reason. The thing is, what happens when you put all of this work and dedication into getting fit for someone else who turns out to be a real p.o.s.? Will you keep it up for your awesome self, or go back to your old ways? My thought is that you should mentally remove the other person from the picture and THEN find your motivation.

DylanThomas2

I am losing weight because i want to look good and feel good about myself but my journey started with a rejection from my "best friend" after her rejecting me for guys with six pack abs and no personality (her words not mine) I decided my appearance was holding me back from finding a relationship. I have no interest in the girl who rejected me anymore but I do have an interest in looking good for the next beautiful woman that steals my heart and I think the least I can do is to be the best possible version of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. It isnt about what motivates you to start your journey its about what keeps you motivated to be a better you.

ChiffonLaRue14

In a way I am losing weight for a man BUT he happens to be my son my boy recently turned 18 and I realized that if I stay unhealthy I won't be around long enough to see him succeed further. His dad and I have been dating since high school and he has never once judged me for my weight. My partner is a trained 42k marathoner, licensed diver et al and he has been fit all his life. The closest thing he probably did to give me a hint that I should try more fitness routines was to buy me nice running shoes or cross-trainers lol.

But the motivation really comes from within. Something in me finally snapped and told me to quit with all the yoyo dieting. I agree with everyone who says we really do it for ourselves

snickerscharlie

fat2fitmom2016 wrote: »

Have any of you lost weight for a man? Do you think that's a wrong reason to lose weight?

So what's he done for *you* lately?

blossomingbutterfly

Lose weight for yourself, for no one else. Ever.

EvgeniZyntx

I imagine that your relationship isn't reduced to these simple questions.
Can a partner express an opinion about your health, looks, self care and not have it be the end of the relationship? Apparently not for many in Mfp land.

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt

Has OP come back yet? I want to know details.

Liftng4Lis

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »

Has OP come back yet? I want to know details.

Nope

astrocosmiczoom

Is he asking you to? No.
Are you doing it because you think he'll love you more? No.
Are you doing it for his approval? No.

Are you doing it because you want to look good around him? You do you, boo boo.

Strawili

If your man is telling you to lose weight, there's a problem. Asking is a bit more polite, especially if your weight is a health concern.

I would do it on my own terms/decision. Part of my motivation to lose weight is to be smaller for my boyfriend, but if he flat out told me "You need to lose weight" he'd be so single it'd hurt for a year.