Negative feedback on my food diary

I think I'm going to make my food diary private. Yesterday was my rest day and cheat day, as we went to Applebees for dinner, and I had a small blizzard from DQ. Someone on my friends list commented that I "shouldn't have eaten all those calories at lunch" which was only 250 and had dinner instead. I refuse to feel guilty about what I eat and skipping meals is a big no no to me.

After I read that post I did feel a little guilty about what I ate, even though I went running and burned about 220 calories beforehand. I keep trying to tell myself, one bad meal won't make me fat.

Edited to say that I'm down 23 lbs.
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Replies

  • nyqueensguy
    nyqueensguy Posts: 100 Member
    Just take it in stride. We dont know the people at MFP personally. You are going to get comments from everyone on everything! As far as I'm concerned, your already a hero to lose 23 lbs. This is not about abstinance from the foods we like. We are all in charge of what we eat. We choose to share our food diaries to encourage others, and to get input WHEN WE ASK FOR IT. My goal is to enjoy the food I like in moderation so I dont give up the other things I like such as being healthy at the right weight.
  • notworthstalking
    notworthstalking Posts: 531 Member
    I know the feeling. I like looking at diary's though myself. I would rather people comment on the good , and i am trying to do that myself.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    I think I'm going to make my food diary private. Yesterday was my rest day and cheat day, as we went to Applebees for dinner, and I had a small blizzard from DQ. Someone on my friends list commented that I "shouldn't have eaten all those calories at lunch" which was only 250 and had dinner instead. I refuse to feel guilty about what I eat and skipping meals is a big no no to me.

    After I read that post I did feel a little guilty about what I ate, even though I went running and burned about 220 calories beforehand. I keep trying to tell myself, one bad meal won't make me fat.

    Edited to say that I'm down 23 lbs.

    Dont feel like you have to justify it. Ice cream isnt a 'bad' meal or choice, Screw that.
  • ncmedic201
    ncmedic201 Posts: 540 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it. This is about changing your lifestyle. Going without certain things forever is not realistic! I went over last weekend because it was my son's graduation from high school. I didn't even bother to log my calories because I wasn't about to feel bad for eating cake etc.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    You could leave it open for your friends and then add a comment to your own post that this was your cheat day and you worked off the calories or are taking a one day break, etc.
  • Tastyduckbutter
    Tastyduckbutter Posts: 30 Member
    Your friends should be there to support you. If they don't want to do this and think that criticism is going to help, then they don't deserve you as a friend.
  • mzfiyaa
    mzfiyaa Posts: 94 Member
    ugh i hate that.....mine is private...we are entitled to cheat days
  • FarAway02
    FarAway02 Posts: 211
    Some foods are good for the body and some are good for the soul. You have to have a healthy mix - emotionally and physically - for yourself!!

    Choosing to treat yourself is FINE.

    Surround yourself with positive people on here (cough cough folks...people like me...hinthint!) and get rid of the people that serve no purpose but to pick holes in you.

    23 lbs down? Sounds like your kicking some healthy lifestyle *kitten*
  • mscolleen2003
    mscolleen2003 Posts: 126 Member
    Wow, some people need to get a life. Why would anyone criticize you for taking a day off. If you do not take a day off, trust me you will take a year off. You do what you know is right.:noway:
  • GnomeLove
    GnomeLove Posts: 379
    That person definitely does not want to see mine for the last week....
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    It was only one person, one comment. I think setting your diary to private is an over reaction. You could simply delete their comment. And/or respond to them directly and tell them how you feel. There are plenty of people on MFP who need/like to berate others for their food choices and there are plenty of people on MFP who need/like to be berated. Maybe this person thought you were one of those people who like food-shaming and they were honestly helping you out. So yah, just let them know that's not appreciated. Then, if they do it again, knowing how you feel, delete them.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    That's part of why I kept my diary private when I was logging calories. I know what I'm doing with my diet, and I refuse to feel guilty about my indulging. I don't find it helpful to have people, without any training or real knowledge, scrutinizing my food choices and offering feedback.

    Everyone is here to use different tools that the site offers. The public food diary function isn't one I need.
  • DantheMan2517
    DantheMan2517 Posts: 134 Member
    Just delete that person from your friends list.
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Earlier this week my cheat day was 2700 calories over. That is my business and I did not care what others had to say about my choices. Luckily my friends were awesome enough not to criticize me, they were just happy that I logged that day. Find more friends like that.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    You have some people on your friends' list that don't belong there. While I eat a rather healthy diet, I do have my treats and my IDGAF days. Yesterday and today are both the latter, because Father's Day weekend. I still won't go over calories by much but meh. My point is that self righteous clean eaters do not belong on my friend's list and you have every right to control who is on yours.
  • jackieg218
    jackieg218 Posts: 95 Member
    Honey don't you dare own the guilt someone tried to place on you!!!! There so so many stinkin know it all's out there, just let them be who they are (arrogant snobby butts) and you be you! If you enjoyed yourself and it felt good to take a break... Screw what they say. This is YOUR journey and you walk it however you want to do it!
  • LATeagno
    LATeagno Posts: 620 Member
    Yeah, you shouldn't have eaten that. You disgust me.


    UM...KIDDING. LOL. Make it private, but if it keeps you accountable, open it up to certain people with a key. I am a low carb, high fat, moderate protein eater, so when my low-fat friends see that i've eaten two tablespoons of butter and three eggs and heavy cream in my coffee for breakfast, they're all, "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"

    Do what works for you. Don't worry about anyone else. Hope you had fun on your cheat day! :D
  • jackieg218
    jackieg218 Posts: 95 Member
    You have some people on your friends' list that don't belong there. While I eat a rather healthy diet, I do have my treats and my IDGAF days.

    LOVE IT!!!!! IDGAF!!!! I am 100% with you on these days! Gotta have them once and a while!
  • catita1025
    catita1025 Posts: 46 Member
    Funny how we can be scrutinized for every little thing, when we're doing well in the big picture! Personally, I don't believe in calling any day a "cheat day." - but that's just me! You make choices, and you shouldn't have to justify every item on your plate to everybody else. I'm also assuming you don't have any medical restrictions on what you eat. :) It sounds like you tried to balance out other items throughout the day - enjoy the occasional indulgence!
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    I don't complete my diary. I don't need anyone's input on what I eat, I'm an adult.
  • connie_messina
    connie_messina Posts: 495 Member
    Don't hide your diary or feel guilty because of one idiot just delete her u need support not criticism we all have cheat days and bad days and we all support each other at least my mfp friends do, so just get rid of her!
  • Lala_White
    Lala_White Posts: 52 Member
    Do what you know is right for YOU. Don't let the negative people get you down. From the posts I've read before I've made this one, everyone has said what I was thinking or even what I could say. You know yourself what works for you. Keep up the good work :)
  • stargazer008
    stargazer008 Posts: 531
    Just ignore them, you know personally you did well. You've already come so far so try not to let negative comments bring you down.
  • OMGitzj3551k4
    OMGitzj3551k4 Posts: 85 Member
    Consider her deleted. Thanks you guys, I know there's no reason for me to feel guilty about what I've eaten. I'm taking this in stride and am only focusing on the positive. I agree that if the foods that we enjoy eating are totally cut out, then we'll be totally miserable! Thanks for all the love and support. I wouldn't mind having all you guys on my friends list! You're so positive! :)
  • mikejholmes
    mikejholmes Posts: 291 Member
    Sounds more like a friend list problem than a public/friends-only diary problem.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    That person definitely does not want to see mine for the last week....

    Mine either :laugh:

    OP if comments on your diary bother you then don't feel like you have to leave it open. Mine is open to friends only but I don't complete it at the end of the day so it doesn't show in my feed. Also I'm very careful about the friends I add, because I want to be surrounded by people who feel the same way about food that I do.

    Your cheat day doesn't sound bad at all to me. I've been craving DQ myself lately. :wink:
  • dakitten2
    dakitten2 Posts: 888 Member
    I have a friend on my list that is consistently getting negative feedback on her diary. I felt so bad for her that I emailed her because I was afraid that she would get discouraged with the negativity.

    When I first started on here, I had a friend that was eating 1,000 calories a day and I would tell her that she needed to eat more. She let me know that because of a health condition, that was the number of calories that her doctor recommended for her. Thankfully, she taught me not to judge other people's diaries.

    I know when I have a crappy day, the red numbers blare it out to me. Graciously my friends don't jump my case about it. They know my pattern of eating and that if I have a crappy day or two, I'll pull it back the next day.

    I had a chocolate dipped cone (270 calories, I think) from McDonald's the other day. It worked in my calories and it is my journey. And today for Father's Day, I'm not even going to worry one bit about what I eat.

    I love my mfp friends, they have been the absolute best and support me thru the good days and the bad.
  • themedalist
    themedalist Posts: 3,218 Member
    There is an alternative. You can still have your diary open but not have it auto-posted every day that you "completed her food and exercise diary for 2013-06-15 and was under her calorie goal". Without this daily reminder, people won't likely be going through your diary. Yet your diary remains open should you want to share it.

    To do this, go to

    Settings>>> Automatic News Feed Update Settings>>>and uncheck the box "I have completed my diary for the day"

    Best Wishes!
  • MeltingCandlewax
    MeltingCandlewax Posts: 42 Member
    Don't close your diary because someone made you feel guilty. First of all weather it is a diet or a lifestyle, Don't feel guilty for what you ate, just enjoy it. Because sometimes people like to live a little and enjoy. You only live once. I personally have made this a lifestyle, yes for several months I was up and down, because I got discouraged. When I got my head right again, my motivation back and made the commitment again, it becomes a lifestyle choice. and sure if I want ice cream or a blizzard I have one, I get a small one and eat all or half. I find as long as I can fit it in with my calories, or it puts me a little over, than I deal with that. Now if you get a large one and eat all, ya that's bad, but I have days where I get a chocolate dipped cone (270 calories and make it a meal or a snack). Personally I have closed and open my diary a number of times, and realized you know what I am more accountable to myself and everyone else when I keep it open. But don't let someone's negativity make you feel guilty for enjoying life. I know people may get upset for me saying this, but to me it is a lifestyle a way of life eating 1200 calories a day, sometimes I am over and sometimes I am under. In my world there are no rest days or cheat days, because I have made this a life choice to get thin. The fact is I eat what I want with in my calories, I don't eat back my exercise calories, cause (I may not understand) but I think it defeats my purpose of losing weight and I enjoy life. Okay That's all. sorry. That was my 2 cents worth.
    If you have questions send me a message. thanks.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Yea ppl can be judgemental.
    Im in the same boat, just took on a new job, so my food is horrible, frightening and so unhealthy.
    Thought about making it private so ppl cant judge me, but guess what, Im logging for me, not for anyone else.