Negative feedback on my food diary

mazdauk

I never make a negative comment on anyone's diary. I might get envious if they've has something yummy, or I might use an idea for a different lunch option, but what you eat is your choice. I would only comment on the content if someone ASKS "what is wrog with my food choice" or similar - one of my MFP friends did that, and most of us pointed out the obvious (lot of processed high salt products) and gave suggestions for alternatives. Which she thanked us for.

But I'm not going back and checking if she's followed up on our suggestions - that's down to her.

reapsow

You go girl, 23 lbs is no joke and it is AWSOME!!!!! Everything in life in moderation and for anyone that has been on a weight loss journey knows, if you deny yourself everything, you will binge. I have a book called body for life, which has a lot of information in it for people who want to get healthy. I have one free day a week ( in moderation) and I am not putting it on the food list. Even Dolly says she isn't giving up her chocolate sundae's on Sunday...lol Stay positive and you will reach your goal.

barbaratrollman

I'd say the person on your FL that gave the uninvited critique on your food choices for the day was being pretty presumptuous, to tell you what you should or should not be eating. Did you ask for an opinion?
I keep my diary open too, but I don't expect anybody to come along and act like they know better than me, what I should be eating or not eating, unless I ask them specifically to check it out and give me advice.

I have days that I go under my goals and days I go over. I am more interested in my weekly average anyway and that is what is working for *me*. How does the person on your friends list know what your plan is and what is best for you and your goals?

KALMdown

Just delete that person from your friends list.

This.

I love looking at people's diaries because sometimes I need to remind myself that starving myself won't make the pounds come off and stay off.

Contrarian

My diary is and has always been private, but no one who is on my friends list would be obnoxious enough to offer unsolicited advice.

CarmenSRT

I'd simply have explained it was part of a cheat day. I have a small friends list, and they are there for support. Every once in a while support means criticism where appropriate. If I just wanted endless "You go girl!" responses that is easy to come by here. If I appeared to be going off the rails though I would want someone to call me on it. YMMV

mattschwartz01

I think I'm going to make my food diary private. Yesterday was my rest day and cheat day, as we went to Applebees for dinner, and I had a small blizzard from DQ. Someone on my friends list commented that I "shouldn't have eaten all those calories at lunch" which was only 250 and had dinner instead. I refuse to feel guilty about what I eat and skipping meals is a big no no to me.

After I read that post I did feel a little guilty about what I ate, even though I went running and burned about 220 calories beforehand. I keep trying to tell myself, one bad meal won't make me fat.

Edited to say that I'm down 23 lbs.

It sounds like the criticism offered wasn't even really constructive. It didn't offer any suggestions. Had I left a comment, I might very well have written something the lines of, "Please consider changing wording from a cheat meal to a treat meal."

Saratini76

Our friends on our friends list here are supposed to be our SUPPORT network, not our criticism network! They are our cheerleaders and shoulder to lean on. There are so many reasons for people to use this site, and everyone's body reacts differently to foods. I have my "relaxed" days where I eat a good restaurant meal without thinking of calories, (that was yesterday for me :drinker: ) and I don't log those days. I don't log mostly because it's hard to find restaurant food or I get in too late and just flop into bed! I've been doing this for 4 months here and have lost nearly 70 lbs....and I do have "relaxed" days a few times a month. Everything is good in moderation is what my doctor told me and he seems to be right! I am open to friend requests if you want to add me! LOL, you won't have me peeking at your diary and gasping in disbelief!

Sara

Francl27

Oh don't feel bad. Seriously look at my diary, I have some type of 'junk' food every day... and still losing!

Lobster1987

Meh....it's just constructive feedback....I doubt they meant it to offend you. I'm sure you're on here to lose weight since you mentioned that you lost 23 pounds so far, so perhaps the person was pointing out where you can improve.

If it bugged you so much, you could have commented on her profile and explained it was your cheat day....or do what I do and ignore it and move on with my day.

If this person would continue to pick at every little thing I do, then I would consider deleting her.

Labouffecestbon

You could leave it open for your friends and then add a comment to your own post that this was your cheat day and you worked off the calories or are taking a one day break, etc.

She doesn't have to justify anything.

Labouffecestbon

Our friends on our friends list here are supposed to be our SUPPORT network, not our criticism network! They are our cheerleaders and shoulder to lean on. There are so many reasons for people to use this site, and everyone's body reacts differently to foods. I have my "relaxed" days where I eat a good restaurant meal without thinking of calories, (that was yesterday for me :drinker: ) and I don't log those days. I don't log mostly because it's hard to find restaurant food or I get in too late and just flop into bed! I've been doing this for 4 months here and have lost nearly 70 lbs....and I do have "relaxed" days a few times a month. Everything is good in moderation is what my doctor told me and he seems to be right! I am open to friend requests if you want to add me! LOL, you won't have me peeking at your diary and gasping in disbelief!

Sara

I think criticism (when constructive) is part of the support.

Joanitude

My diary is open to friends. All of my friends know I am all about The Plan, which is different from the path most people are following here. They sometimes comment when they see something unusual for me, or something sounded good. I find the accountability of the auto-post that I was under for the day helpful.

I always welcome new MFP buddies, but I am fairly selective in who I 'friend' on MFP. I limit it to people who actually have read my profile. In my profile I lay out The Plan so there are no surprises when they get to know me or see my diary.

socajam

I'd simply have explained it was part of a cheat day. I have a small friends list, and they are there for support. Every once in a while support means criticism where appropriate. If I just wanted endless "You go girl!" responses that is easy to come by here. If I appeared to be going off the rails though I would want someone to call me on it. YMMV

One of the most intelligent comments so far. It seems everyone wants: "You go girl" feel good comments. If you are on my friend's list, I expect both criticisms and positive feedbacks. If all I am getting is: "You go girl", then I might as well do this myself. Friends on my list have taken me to task for not eating enough fruit, drinking enough water and other things, it did not offend me, that's why they are my friends and are looking out for me.

barbaratrollman

Thought about making it private so ppl cant judge me, but guess what, Im logging for me, not for anyone else.

Exactly!

Joanitude

I'd simply have explained it was part of a cheat day. I have a small friends list, and they are there for support. Every once in a while support means criticism where appropriate. If I just wanted endless "You go girl!" responses that is easy to come by here. If I appeared to be going off the rails though I would want someone to call me on it. YMMV

^^^This

socajam

Meh....it's just constructive feedback....I doubt they meant it to offend you. I'm sure you're on here to lose weight since you mentioned that you lost 23 pounds so far, so perhaps the person was pointing out where you can improve.

If it bugged you so much, you could have commented on her profile and explained it was your cheat day....or do what I do and ignore it and move on with my day.

If this person would continue to pick at every little thing I do, then I would consider deleting her.

Exactly. I find people on here are over-sensitive, that's why I have never asked to friend anyone. I have enough on my plate to deal with all this crap from over sensitive people.

Iron_Lotus

Some people don't understand that you can still live a healthy lifestyle and incorporate your favourite foods. I believe these people are jealous and hangry due to deprivation. Enjoy your ice-cream and whatever else you want Never mind those poor suffering souls

mrsnecincy

'Watch your fat young lady' is the best one I've had! I was a bit miffed and thought about deleting the offender but I decided against it. I was still under cals and I'd been eating out a lot as we had family staying with us. I decided against it but I was annoyed I felt like I had to explain myself. But that's what you get for having a public diary. I wouldn't make a comment like that but that doesn't stop others. I look at diarys just for ideas so I like to think I'm returning the favour by keeping mine public.

lonestarb

For all of us, it takes 3500 calories to add (or subtract) a pound of body weight. What is in between is just a matter of choices. Do you really want to add cheese to that broccoli, knowing how many calories it adds? Some days the answer really is yes. In the grand scheme of things, we will work it out. A scoop of ice cream here, another 1/2 hour on the treadmill there. I think... it's just me... but I think the key is long term, not just one day.

GoMizzou99

Someone on my friends list commented that I "shouldn't have eaten all those calories at lunch"

They were jealous! Since you are down 23 pounds already, you knew what you were doing. A 250 calorie occasional treat is OK...on occasion. <g>

wpbmommy1

Don't let this discourage you but your diary is yours to do what you will with it so if it makes you feel better to make it private then I say do so. I put banana splits, wine, beer, whatever I consume, goes on there. I don't give a cr*p what anyone thinks if all they can say is something negative. I've come a long way and overcome a lot of obstacles so I'm not going to let anyone make me feel guilty for anything. Constructive criticism is good, yes but in this game, the rules change from person to person. What works for one person may not work for another. I read some diaries and people are eating all sorts of yummy things (cinnamon buns, pastries) I can't eat but they are still under their calories at the end of the day. I can't even eat a fruit platter because it would mess up my sugar numbers and throw my glucose numbers out of control. If anything, we are here to support each other. Maybe (hopefully) it wasn't meant in a malicious way. I wish you the best. You don't have to justify anything to anyone. Keep smiling!

LavenderBouquet

If you have negative friends on your friend list, delete the rude person! Don't hide your diary because of one bad comment :flowerforyou:

kcoftx

I did that to someone when I first started. Based on a few of her comments, I thought that's what she wanted. When she made her diary private, I felt guilty and wished she had just spoken up first because I truly didn't intend to offend. I just recognize that everyone wants different things from their FL and I misjudged.

As for me, I ate half a funnel cake yesterday. That's just yesterday.

leighdiane91

I think I'm going to make my food diary private. Yesterday was my rest day and cheat day, as we went to Applebees for dinner, and I had a small blizzard from DQ. Someone on my friends list commented that I "shouldn't have eaten all those calories at lunch" which was only 250 and had dinner instead. I refuse to feel guilty about what I eat and skipping meals is a big no no to me.

After I read that post I did feel a little guilty about what I ate, even though I went running and burned about 220 calories beforehand. I keep trying to tell myself, one bad meal won't make me fat.

Edited to say that I'm down 23 lbs.

Delete the "friend". I am completely serious. We are here to encourage and yes keep accountable the people on our friends list but just because you do not eat clean, does not mean you are losing weight the wrong way or unhealthy way. Please do not feel guilty about eating ice cream and enjoying some Applebees!

Macstraw

Eat what you want, you know what you need to do to achieve your goals. You anticipated having your treat, you worked those cals off beforehand & made sure the #'s fit your diary for the day. I don't get the food police who feel the need to micromanage everybody else's list. Yes, friends should be there to help us stay on track, but there's no need to make comments like that over ONE entry or one day. One "bad" item, meal or day will not derail you - there are days (usually family occasions, etc.) that I know I'm going to be over my #'s but I don't feel the slightest guilt or regret over it. I have noticed that my choices at these things are much better than they used to be on days like that, so I still consider that progress - I'm in this for the long term lifestyle changes, not the quick fix fastest possible loss of weight so that I can go right back to what I was doing. Instead of making your diary private because of 1 comment, answer the comment by pointing out that you were within your #'s & that you have zero concerns about how that 1 entry will affect your journey (that is, unless you're just more comfortable having it private - but don't let 1 comment make you change how you're doing things, obviously what you're doing is working). Bottom line, you're here for YOU & a comment from somebody else doesn't change that.....

Jessica_D_Shadow

Some people need more motivation than others. Some people actually do NEED to have someone make them feel guilty so they don't do it again! If you are not one of those people, and you do not need help with your Food Diary then go ahead and make it private. To have it public is an open invite for criticizing & congratulating. I doubt that member was trying to be rude, they were just trying to motivate you to think twice before eating that way. One Cheat Day can X out 5 Good days. So I have been told. But if you have the calories from running, I say go for it. Others think differently. If you don't want the hardcore No junk food, no rest days etc etc. Friends then remove them. Hehe. No need to feel bad if you are ok with Cheat Days. Hope this gives you a little bit of a different perspective on those kind of members. Most people on here are just trying to help & that's what I tell myself. Then again, I don't add many people as friends. Hehe But I do have one of those hardcore friends that kick my *kitten* on things here and there. Some things are helpful others make me grumble in her direction but hey, she's just trying to help. <333

avlama

Some foods are good for the body and some are good for the soul. You have to have a healthy mix - emotionally and physically - for yourself!!

/quote]

This is well said.

rml_16

Someone criticized a 250-calorie lunch? Is this person anorexic?

My friends don't make negative food diary comments. If I actually asked, they probably would have something to say, but I don't ask. :-)

I think you need to drop the friend. That was rude.

CrazyTrackLady

I think I'm going to make my food diary private. Yesterday was my rest day and cheat day, as we went to Applebees for dinner, and I had a small blizzard from DQ. Someone on my friends list commented that I "shouldn't have eaten all those calories at lunch" which was only 250 and had dinner instead. I refuse to feel guilty about what I eat and skipping meals is a big no no to me.

After I read that post I did feel a little guilty about what I ate, even though I went running and burned about 220 calories beforehand. I keep trying to tell myself, one bad meal won't make me fat.

Edited to say that I'm down 23 lbs.

I'd delete the friend instead of making the diary private. I think that tells more about the person's character than anything else.