Ladies

asianfashionista86
asianfashionista86 Posts: 5,039 Member
edited November 20 in Chit-Chat
Has a man ever made you feel bad about your body? Or the your appearance? I'd love to hear stories

I've had plenty of situations where I was told I was too fat or too tall in the Asian community 5ft5 is tall
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Replies

  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    No, in 25 years he's never made me feel bad about my body. My ex husband did, which is one of the many reasons he's my ex husband.
  • malavika413
    malavika413 Posts: 474 Member
    My current boyfriend is very supportive and seems to like my body, but lots of guys (friends or otherwise) have. I was bullied a lot in high school for being fat. It sucks.
  • 18aclark
    18aclark Posts: 281 Member
    I've been called fat by multiple guys before yes. it's no party
  • Alisontheice
    Alisontheice Posts: 9,611 Member
    My ex husband used to worry about my body fat. I went to the gym twice a day and was probably the same size I am now which isn't big. Ya, I call him idiot now
  • SweetnSassyLady
    SweetnSassyLady Posts: 355 Member
    I teach my 15 year old daughter these 3 things and I quiz her all the time.
    1) Know Your Worth. You can't expect anyone else to if you don't know yourself. (especially males)
    2) Boys are stupid. (Men are not. She is to young to realize this right now but one day she will. There is a big difference between boys and men. I know some boys that are in their 30s)
    3) Mind over Matter. - This is a big one. If you hear rude comments or people talking trash about you that isn't constructive or it is coming from people that don't know you or aren't important to you, you don't MIND because they don't MATTER.

    The list is a work in progress....
  • pandacutie372
    pandacutie372 Posts: 328 Member
    Well I'm 6'1 and one of my peers was asking some one out for a girl with the same name as me. The guy thought it was me and said I was too much of a giant and crush him. Also I have been called fat in my past...
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
    Holy crap!!!! Where to start!
    You would be really pretty if your nose wasn't so big.
    You know, if you just lost weight you could be a lot prettier.
    Small tits and a big *kitten*, bet you are pissed that God got that one backwards.
    Don't talk to me. Fat chicks gross me out.
    Well you have an....... interesting face.


    All things said to my face, I never understood why people think that it's ok to say whatever they want and expect me to to get upset. For the most part I could give 2 *kitten* what people think of me, but there is just something about someone call you ugly to your face that kind of puts a damper in your day.
  • _Captivated_
    _Captivated_ Posts: 5,669 Member
    Yes, among the most memorable, "you're almost hot enough to f××k." as in, lose more weight and you'd be f××kable.
  • asianfashionista86
    asianfashionista86 Posts: 5,039 Member
    _Captivated_ wrote: »
    Yes, among the most memorable, "you're almost hot enough to f××k." as in, lose more weight and you'd be f××kable.

    Ugh that's horrible...
  • GreenGoddess22
    GreenGoddess22 Posts: 3,818 Member
    Yes, more than once, but that was when I was younger. However it left a lasting impression on me and not in a good way. To this day I am my own worst critic because I fear everyone else is looking at me and judging me based on mean comments from my past.
  • asianfashionista86
    asianfashionista86 Posts: 5,039 Member
    GreenGoddess22 wrote: »
    Yes, more than once, but that was when I was younger. However it left a lasting impression on me and not in a good way. To this day I am my own worst critic because I fear everyone else is looking at me and judging me based on mean comments from my past.

    I know the exact feeling.
  • michaelafoor916
    michaelafoor916 Posts: 710 Member
    too many to begin to count but the one that sticks out was in high school and we were in class waiting for it to start and a group of the "popular" guys were all sitting by each other and I noticed them all looking at me and whispering to each other and one said "she'd be really hot if she lost weight".. the thing that hurt the most was one of my friends (who I've known for... oh... 15 years at the time) didn't say a word and just went along with it.

    but said it like I wasn't sitting but 2 rows over... like I'd want any of them douche bags anyhow even if I was "hot" to them.
  • sw33tp3a11
    sw33tp3a11 Posts: 4,646 Member
    My kids father used to always make me feel bad about my weight and my lack of upkeeping my appearance. But that changed as soon as he started seeing me lose the weight and I started getting my confidence back oh and when he started to notice that I stopped giving a f**k.
  • MommysLittleMeatball
    MommysLittleMeatball Posts: 2,064 Member
    When I was younger I would get a lot of comments about how dark I was. People would ask me if I was adopted or if I was this, that, or another. When I was young, it would bother me at times because I didn't understand why it was a big deal or a topic of discussion at all. I got some negative comments, but I learned very fast to not give a f**k and how to respond to such comments.

    Besides experiences when young, there's one time I can think of that some dude brought such attention to my skin color and made me feel weird, it was a few years ago, I was outside a bar waiting to get in and this dude wanted to know my racial background was. I told him Italian and he proceeded to tell me I was lying because I was "too dark". I proceeded to tell him he was a f**cking dumbass and laughed at him.

    I could care less if a guy or girl has anything bad to say about me/my body because I'm short, I'm dark, I wear glasses, I'm pretty un-lady-like (whatever that is), I rarely wear makeup, I don't wear heels, I'm fluffy, for hair arms - on a scale of 1 to Robin Williams - I'm a Robin Williams, oh, and I'm f**king awesome.
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    No one has come right out and said it but I have definitely been overlooked because of my weight by men that I like
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  • MommysLittleMeatball
    MommysLittleMeatball Posts: 2,064 Member
    HawleyGriffin wrote: »
    Why is this a gender specific question? Why couldn't it have been posted "has ANYONE ever made you feel bad about your body?" instead of "has a man?" Ladies, I am sure you all have witnessed a woman ridicule a man before regarding his appearance. Sorry, being cruel to someone is not specific to any particular gender.

    Too true! Let's not forget to mention female to female or male to male ridicule.
  • GreenGoddess22
    GreenGoddess22 Posts: 3,818 Member
    sunn_lighter wrote: »
    HawleyGriffin wrote: »
    Why is this a gender specific question? Why couldn't it have been posted "has ANYONE ever made you feel bad about your body?" instead of "has a man?" Ladies, I am sure you all have witnessed a woman ridicule a man before regarding his appearance. Sorry, being cruel to someone is not specific to any particular gender.

    Because she wanted to talk to other ladies. Don't read into it.

    THIS

  • Alisontheice
    Alisontheice Posts: 9,611 Member
    Jackie0Marie wrote: »
    HawleyGriffin wrote: »
    Why is this a gender specific question? Why couldn't it have been posted "has ANYONE ever made you feel bad about your body?" instead of "has a man?" Ladies, I am sure you all have witnessed a woman ridicule a man before regarding his appearance. Sorry, being cruel to someone is not specific to any particular gender.

    Too true! Let's not forget to mention female to female or male to male ridicule.

    THIS ^^^
    Often worse and more hurtful than the opposite gender can ever dish out
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  • pechepanda
    pechepanda Posts: 7,939 Member
    edited June 2015
    a guy called me fat once after i told him he wasnt cute enough for me to be friends with him,
    turns out i have to be nice to people if i want them to be nice to me =/
    more girls comment on my body negatively than guys do, but im sure they mean well
    i get asked about my ethnicity and my age a lot by men, which is annoying, its pretty obvious
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    Oh wow, this is sad reading all of this...No wonder so many people have self esteem issues :(

    I have never been made to feel bad about my body (well, except some moles but the dermatologist can take care of most of that, lol), by anyone that's seen me naked. Or I guess even people that haven't seen me naked? I generally try to surround myself with open-minded awesome people though.
  • Maggie71286
    Maggie71286 Posts: 1 Member
    Nobody that I have ever been in a relationship or friendship with has ever made me feel bad about my weight. HOWEVER, when I was in high school, I had a very cute boyfriend (I was also 10-15 pounds overweight). I would often hear about people asking how he could be with me (as I was too fat for him.) Once, when we were walking home, a group of boys in a pickup truck stopped next to us and just started screaming about how I was gross and fat and how he was sick for being with me. We tried to ignore them, but they drove slowly next to us for several minutes just screaming vulgar, cruel things at us. Even though my boyfriend stood up for me, it was really hurtful and embarrassing. I am almost thirty now and my heart still starts racing when I think about it. In fact, to this day, I get nervous if I am walking down the street and someone in a care slows down next to me. I also always wear headphones when I walk so that I can't hear any mean comments. I am no longer overweight, but these instances have ensured that I will never be comfortable in my own skin, I will always doubt the sincerity of compliments, and I will always care way too much about my appearance. Words can really hurt.
  • asianfashionista86
    asianfashionista86 Posts: 5,039 Member
    edited June 2015
    HawleyGriffin wrote: »
    Why is this a gender specific question? Why couldn't it have been posted "has ANYONE ever made you feel bad about your body?" instead of "has a man?" Ladies, I am sure you all have witnessed a woman ridicule a man before regarding his appearance. Sorry, being cruel to someone is not specific to any particular gender.

    To be honest I think women get it way worse from men one time I was walking around in shorts and a group of guys shouted you need to do some squats. A group of girls would never shout that at a guy. Because a lot of guys not all view women as just sImply something to look at so if it doesn't please them they will say something about it. Where as most women either would say it internally or not say anything at all. I know some men get flack to but it's more socially acceptable for a male to be fat as long as he has money or power it is acceptable.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    asianfashionista86 wrote: »
    HawleyGriffin wrote: »
    Why is this a gender specific question? Why couldn't it have been posted "has ANYONE ever made you feel bad about your body?" instead of "has a man?" Ladies, I am sure you all have witnessed a woman ridicule a man before regarding his appearance. Sorry, being cruel to someone is not specific to any particular gender.

    To be honest I think women get it way worse from men one time I was walking around in shorts and a group of guys shouted you need to do some squats. A group of girls would never shout that at a guy. Because a lot of guys not all view women as just sImply something to look at so if it doesn't please them they will say something about it. Where as most women either would say it internally or not say anything at all. I know some men get flack to but it's more socially acceptable for a male to be fat as long as he has money or power it is acceptable.

    I doubt that.

    From someone who was bullied for a very long time until I had to literally fight back sometimes. You might think women get it bad. Let's just say both gender get it just as back.

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    HawleyGriffin wrote: »
    yopeeps025, I didn't personally experience any female to male bullying, but I witnessed an awful lot of it.

    I was bullied by both genders in school.

  • Libertysfate
    Libertysfate Posts: 452 Member
    Unfortunately, yes. But I know that they can only make me feel bad about myself because I let them get to me.

    Sadly, my last and longest relationship (5 years) was with a guy who did exactly this. It was little stuff here and there, not full out verbal abuse but it added up over time to the point where we can't even be friends now. I don't hate him, but I have no problems not ever hearing or seeing from him again.
    It started out with compliments and he'd throw in a small jab like something about my shape (like I should be more toned, etc), or my smile (something I was so self conscious about for a very long time). There have even been plenty of times where he'd say why don't you wear this or that, dress more like this, like her, etc. put some makeup on, stuff like that...

    Yeah, I'm a thousand times happier now than I've been in a very long time, and that in turn has made me take charge of my life more and work towards all the things I want whether it be career or fitness/health related. :)

    Whew... sorry that was winded, but it was nice to get it off my chest.
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    My ex told me I was fat any time I went over 110 lbs. So I told him he had a small winky. I also left him.
  • PandalynnKapri
    PandalynnKapri Posts: 17 Member
    Yup my height and weight was an issue with guys. One time at a social event, a guy walked by me and said "Dang you're tall!" I was sitting down. lol I'm 5'8' and Asian. :smile:
  • sw33tp3a11
    sw33tp3a11 Posts: 4,646 Member
    HawleyGriffin wrote: »
    asianfashionista86, did you hang out with mostly guys or girls when you were in high school? I have been told many times by women that they got it worse from other girls than they did from the guys.

    Thinking back to my high school days. This is true. Girls are brutal. The locker room for some girls was hell.

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