Why losing weight feels so effortless for me this time around.
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Former binge eater and experienced yo-yo dieter here (but luckily reformed after two hard years of work with an intuitive eating/body image counselor.)
In the past weight loss was such an epic struggle and always ended up in failure after two or three weeks despite being a discliplined and successful woman in all other areas of my life. However upon starting my weight loss journey in April (tracking as of June) I found that a couple of very important intentions and habits are making ALL the difference. I am 1.8 pounds from 15 lost and it makes my goal of 40 feel SO doable.
Here is what I've gleaned this time around. Take it with a grain of salt, or take it to heart if it resonates with you:
1. You gotta love yourself before you ever begin to weigh your food or track your calories. If your intention to lose weight comes from a place of self loathing versus self love, you are setting yourself up for failure and heartache. Yes, even if you are a size 26 and 350 pounds ladies. Negative emotions don't help. We (females) are inundated with a disgusting number of negative body messages on a daily basis, so it is easy to fall into a very unhealthy conversation with ourselves about our bodies. Even in my conditioning class my instructor recently tried to motivate us by saying "Think about how bikini worthy you'll be and push on!" At this point I raised my hand and explained that I am already bikini worthy and ready at a jiggly size 16, as were all the other women in the room. Enjoy life now and don't put it off until you reach a goal weight. Challenge these messages. Grow to appreciate yourself and want to care for yourself first. Took me two years to learn this and for me, it was the most important step, and the most challenging one.
2. Move first, track second. This may go against 99% of people here, but my argument for getting moving first is that restricting your calories doesn't always FEEL good intitially but movement does (at least for me...) Movement and being active boosts your mood and makes you feel strong and accomplished at any stage in your body. When you work out it also has positive ripple effects relating to nutrition, sleep, water intake. Healthy habits trump being in a smaller body except in extreme cases, so focus on habits and health first, weight/physical mass second in my humble opinion.
3. Don't overthink it. Track your food. Weigh what you can. Stick within your daily caloric targets 90-95% of the time. And have it come from a place of self love and compassion, not hatred and punishment. And if you strumble, no biggie. Don't punish yourself or make it mean more than it is.
4. Don't villiainize foods. Cookies are not bad. You are not "good" for eating kale. Being paleo or primal or "clean" isn't the holy grail. Strip these stupid food rules away. If you want a brownie, make it work for your calories. Every food has a place in a well rounded deficit and diet. Guilt has no place in a well rounded diet however.
5. Don't place time constraits on your weight loss journey. Be flexible, be patient and enjoy the journey instead of trying to rush to the finish line. In the past I would always set up specific goals relating to weight or measurements, and this would always contribute to a sense of disappointment and self hatred at "failing." Just don't do it. Plan to be here for a long, long time and find a way to love the process more than the product.
6. Notice if you are in a binge-guilt-restrict-lose weight-binge-guilt-etc... eating pattern. If so, it'll take more than yet another diet program or calorie counting goal to work through. Disordered eating is rampant in our society. I would argue that a huge population of people on these threads have disordered eating and are totally unaware. If you do suffer from negative body image, binge eating disorder, yo-yo dieting addition, obsession with food, the answer won't be weight loss and you should confront those inner deamons and psychological aspects prior to counting calories and trying to get leaner and smaller.
Just my two cents! Hope this helps someone.
Bumping this for its awesome messages.0 -
Former binge eater and experienced yo-yo dieter here (but luckily reformed after two hard years of work with an intuitive eating/body image counselor.)
In the past weight loss was such an epic struggle and always ended up in failure after two or three weeks despite being a discliplined and successful woman in all other areas of my life. However upon starting my weight loss journey in April (tracking as of June) I found that a couple of very important intentions and habits are making ALL the difference. I am 1.8 pounds from 15 lost and it makes my goal of 40 feel SO doable.
Here is what I've gleaned this time around. Take it with a grain of salt, or take it to heart if it resonates with you:
1. You gotta love yourself before you ever begin to weigh your food or track your calories. If your intention to lose weight comes from a place of self loathing versus self love, you are setting yourself up for failure and heartache. Yes, even if you are a size 26 and 350 pounds ladies. Negative emotions don't help. We (females) are inundated with a disgusting number of negative body messages on a daily basis, so it is easy to fall into a very unhealthy conversation with ourselves about our bodies. Even in my conditioning class my instructor recently tried to motivate us by saying "Think about how bikini worthy you'll be and push on!" At this point I raised my hand and explained that I am already bikini worthy and ready at a jiggly size 16, as were all the other women in the room. Enjoy life now and don't put it off until you reach a goal weight. Challenge these messages. Grow to appreciate yourself and want to care for yourself first. Took me two years to learn this and for me, it was the most important step, and the most challenging one.
2. Move first, track second. This may go against 99% of people here, but my argument for getting moving first is that restricting your calories doesn't always FEEL good intitially but movement does (at least for me...) Movement and being active boosts your mood and makes you feel strong and accomplished at any stage in your body. When you work out it also has positive ripple effects relating to nutrition, sleep, water intake. Healthy habits trump being in a smaller body except in extreme cases, so focus on habits and health first, weight/physical mass second in my humble opinion.
3. Don't overthink it. Track your food. Weigh what you can. Stick within your daily caloric targets 90-95% of the time. And have it come from a place of self love and compassion, not hatred and punishment. And if you strumble, no biggie. Don't punish yourself or make it mean more than it is.
4. Don't villiainize foods. Cookies are not bad. You are not "good" for eating kale. Being paleo or primal or "clean" isn't the holy grail. Strip these stupid food rules away. If you want a brownie, make it work for your calories. Every food has a place in a well rounded deficit and diet. Guilt has no place in a well rounded diet however.
5. Don't place time constraits on your weight loss journey. Be flexible, be patient and enjoy the journey instead of trying to rush to the finish line. In the past I would always set up specific goals relating to weight or measurements, and this would always contribute to a sense of disappointment and self hatred at "failing." Just don't do it. Plan to be here for a long, long time and find a way to love the process more than the product.
6. Notice if you are in a binge-guilt-restrict-lose weight-binge-guilt-etc... eating pattern. If so, it'll take more than yet another diet program or calorie counting goal to work through. Disordered eating is rampant in our society. I would argue that a huge population of people on these threads have disordered eating and are totally unaware. If you do suffer from negative body image, binge eating disorder, yo-yo dieting addition, obsession with food, the answer won't be weight loss and you should confront those inner deamons and psychological aspects prior to counting calories and trying to get leaner and smaller.
Just my two cents! Hope this helps someone.
Great points. Thank you for your wisdom.0 -
Definitely agree with 3 and 4!0
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All are great points and good reminders even for someone 14 mo and -100 lbs into this journey. #5 is the hardest for me to learn and accept!0
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Great post! I dunno about the whole self-love-is-necessary-for-weight-loss,though. I lost weight because I was disgusted about myself and hated how I looked. Also, I couldn't find pretty clothes that fit and looked good on me. I used that as motivation instead of self-love. I was still successful. I still lost the weight. Plus, I love how I look now. Not saying that your view is incorrect, just that self-love isn't totally VITAL to weight loss.0
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She's trying to say that you have to care about yourself enough to want to do something about it.0
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Fab post, I'm learning that loving yourself is super important x0
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I am lost for words. Truly inspirational. Thank you.Former binge eater and experienced yo-yo dieter here (but luckily reformed after two hard years of work with an intuitive eating/body image counselor.)
In the past weight loss was such an epic struggle and always ended up in failure after two or three weeks despite being a discliplined and successful woman in all other areas of my life. However upon starting my weight loss journey in April (tracking as of June) I found that a couple of very important intentions and habits are making ALL the difference. I am 1.8 pounds from 15 lost and it makes my goal of 40 feel SO doable.
Here is what I've gleaned this time around. Take it with a grain of salt, or take it to heart if it resonates with you:
1. You gotta love yourself before you ever begin to weigh your food or track your calories. If your intention to lose weight comes from a place of self loathing versus self love, you are setting yourself up for failure and heartache. Yes, even if you are a size 26 and 350 pounds ladies. Negative emotions don't help. We (females) are inundated with a disgusting number of negative body messages on a daily basis, so it is easy to fall into a very unhealthy conversation with ourselves about our bodies. Even in my conditioning class my instructor recently tried to motivate us by saying "Think about how bikini worthy you'll be and push on!" At this point I raised my hand and explained that I am already bikini worthy and ready at a jiggly size 16, as were all the other women in the room. Enjoy life now and don't put it off until you reach a goal weight. Challenge these messages. Grow to appreciate yourself and want to care for yourself first. Took me two years to learn this and for me, it was the most important step, and the most challenging one.
2. Move first, track second. This may go against 99% of people here, but my argument for getting moving first is that restricting your calories doesn't always FEEL good intitially but movement does (at least for me...) Movement and being active boosts your mood and makes you feel strong and accomplished at any stage in your body. When you work out it also has positive ripple effects relating to nutrition, sleep, water intake. Healthy habits trump being in a smaller body except in extreme cases, so focus on habits and health first, weight/physical mass second in my humble opinion.
3. Don't overthink it. Track your food. Weigh what you can. Stick within your daily caloric targets 90-95% of the time. And have it come from a place of self love and compassion, not hatred and punishment. And if you strumble, no biggie. Don't punish yourself or make it mean more than it is.
4. Don't villiainize foods. Cookies are not bad. You are not "good" for eating kale. Being paleo or primal or "clean" isn't the holy grail. Strip these stupid food rules away. If you want a brownie, make it work for your calories. Every food has a place in a well rounded deficit and diet. Guilt has no place in a well rounded diet however.
5. Don't place time constraits on your weight loss journey. Be flexible, be patient and enjoy the journey instead of trying to rush to the finish line. In the past I would always set up specific goals relating to weight or measurements, and this would always contribute to a sense of disappointment and self hatred at "failing." Just don't do it. Plan to be here for a long, long time and find a way to love the process more than the product.
6. Notice if you are in a binge-guilt-restrict-lose weight-binge-guilt-etc... eating pattern. If so, it'll take more than yet another diet program or calorie counting goal to work through. Disordered eating is rampant in our society. I would argue that a huge population of people on these threads have disordered eating and are totally unaware. If you do suffer from negative body image, binge eating disorder, yo-yo dieting addition, obsession with food, the answer won't be weight loss and you should confront those inner deamons and psychological aspects prior to counting calories and trying to get leaner and smaller.
Just my two cents! Hope this helps someone.
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Glad some of you found this helpful! It's made all the difference in my approach this time.Strawblackcat wrote: »Great post! I dunno about the whole self-love-is-necessary-for-weight-loss,though. I lost weight because I was disgusted about myself and hated how I looked. Also, I couldn't find pretty clothes that fit and looked good on me. I used that as motivation instead of self-love. I was still successful. I still lost the weight. Plus, I love how I look now. Not saying that your view is incorrect, just that self-love isn't totally VITAL to weight loss.
Loving oneself unconditionally isn't vital for weight loss, you are correct. It is vital for living a fulfilling life. It is vital for being content. It is vital for MENTAL WELLNESS and wellbeing, which I believe is infinitely important (I'd argue, even more important than how thin you are.) Furthermore, people with heavier gravitational pulls and excess fat deserve to love themselves and enjoy life just as much as anyone else. You CAN buy fabulous clothes at a size 26, so let's dispel that myth once and for all. You CAN live life to its fullest. You CAN be wanted by members of the opposite sex, and HAVE fabulous sex. And if you're happy in your skin and with who you are, you are going to be more likely to want to care for yourself and make positive choices. Intention is important.
And I'm going to give you some words of love and wisdom that I WISH someone told me earlier:
Disgust and self-hate begets disgust and self-hate, which will follow you around like a heavy shadow whether you are a size 2 or a size 22. If you don't deal with your self-hate while in a larger body, one day, after you've reached your "goal weight" it'll sweep in and eclipse you, and in my case, perpetuated the binge/diet cycle.
Self-hatred doesn't cease to exist the moment you lose weight. Best of luck to you friend! 2 -
The timing of reading this is just perfect! Thank you :-)0
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Love this. I never had the right tools to lose the weight. i used to think that if i worked out the weight will come off. I was working out because i hated my body. I still do but a lot less. the one thing i HATE are my arm rolls. i will never love them nor do i want to. But everything else doesn't bother me as much. I've been told i am a very negative person and i am trying to flip that around. i can get very moody and the gym helps with my mood. I am no longer on a "diet" but i am making myself healthier. Losing weight is a side effect. I work out 4-5 days a week. i eat healthy, and most importantly i did none of this overnight. this was years of changing bad habits for better ones. Now i am weighing my foods, making 400 calorie meals to make tracking easier. i allow for snacks and my protein shakes. I don't feel like I'm getting tired of this. I'm in the right mind set this time around.
I could never be more grateful for those on this website and never have been more proud of myself.
anyone can feel free to add me. I'm always looking for more friends
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I'm friending you - I need your positive vibes!0
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I applaud your points, and I would add one more. Break it down into smaller goals and take a moment to relish!
I'm VERY close to a healthy BMI. Then I'll hit my very first weight goal I set. I've already dropped in one pants size. I LOVE seeing my wrist bones again! My BP hit healthy at my check-up.
You see my point. I find I have this terrific inner coach within myself, and she loves to give kudos. I let her rip!0 -
#1 is undoubtedly the most important piece of advice and also the most difficult, by far. I believe that a lack of love for myself is what caused my weight gain in the first place, and I'm sure that it's true for many others.1
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Such great observations! You have earned your success on many levels it appears...1
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Former binge eater and experienced yo-yo dieter here (but luckily reformed after two hard years of work with an intuitive eating/body image counselor.)
In the past weight loss was such an epic struggle and always ended up in failure after two or three weeks despite being a discliplined and successful woman in all other areas of my life. However upon starting my weight loss journey in April (tracking as of June) I found that a couple of very important intentions and habits are making ALL the difference. I am 1.8 pounds from 15 lost and it makes my goal of 40 feel SO doable.
Here is what I've gleaned this time around. Take it with a grain of salt, or take it to heart if it resonates with you:
1. You gotta love yourself before you ever begin to weigh your food or track your calories. If your intention to lose weight comes from a place of self loathing versus self love, you are setting yourself up for failure and heartache. Yes, even if you are a size 26 and 350 pounds ladies. Negative emotions don't help. We (females) are inundated with a disgusting number of negative body messages on a daily basis, so it is easy to fall into a very unhealthy conversation with ourselves about our bodies. Even in my conditioning class my instructor recently tried to motivate us by saying "Think about how bikini worthy you'll be and push on!" At this point I raised my hand and explained that I am already bikini worthy and ready at a jiggly size 16, as were all the other women in the room. Enjoy life now and don't put it off until you reach a goal weight. Challenge these messages. Grow to appreciate yourself and want to care for yourself first. Took me two years to learn this and for me, it was the most important step, and the most challenging one.
2. Move first, track second. This may go against 99% of people here, but my argument for getting moving first is that restricting your calories doesn't always FEEL good intitially but movement does (at least for me...) Movement and being active boosts your mood and makes you feel strong and accomplished at any stage in your body. When you work out it also has positive ripple effects relating to nutrition, sleep, water intake. Healthy habits trump being in a smaller body except in extreme cases, so focus on habits and health first, weight/physical mass second in my humble opinion.
3. Don't overthink it. Track your food. Weigh what you can. Stick within your daily caloric targets 90-95% of the time. And have it come from a place of self love and compassion, not hatred and punishment. And if you strumble, no biggie. Don't punish yourself or make it mean more than it is.
4. Don't villiainize foods. Cookies are not bad. You are not "good" for eating kale. Being paleo or primal or "clean" isn't the holy grail. Strip these stupid food rules away. If you want a brownie, make it work for your calories. Every food has a place in a well rounded deficit and diet. Guilt has no place in a well rounded diet however.
5. Don't place time constraits on your weight loss journey. Be flexible, be patient and enjoy the journey instead of trying to rush to the finish line. In the past I would always set up specific goals relating to weight or measurements, and this would always contribute to a sense of disappointment and self hatred at "failing." Just don't do it. Plan to be here for a long, long time and find a way to love the process more than the product.
6. Notice if you are in a binge-guilt-restrict-lose weight-binge-guilt-etc... eating pattern. If so, it'll take more than yet another diet program or calorie counting goal to work through. Disordered eating is rampant in our society. I would argue that a huge population of people on these threads have disordered eating and are totally unaware. If you do suffer from negative body image, binge eating disorder, yo-yo dieting addition, obsession with food, the answer won't be weight loss and you should confront those inner deamons and psychological aspects prior to counting calories and trying to get leaner and smaller.
Just my two cents! Hope this helps someone.
Bumping with a quote to remind us of this awesome post/thread.0 -
This thread is fantastic!! #1 is he most important for me. If you don't like yourself, reducing calories becomes 'punishment' for being fat. But if you act from a place of self love, choosing the smoothie over the cupcake is an act of self-care. It's infinitely easier to stick with something that builds us up rather than tears us down.
#2 has also been true for me, and is also tied to the question of self love. I started running this summer, and stuck with it because I was supporting my best friend who's father was dying by training for this race (never stuck with it for myself! But my love for her was greater than my fear around running). It turns out I LOVE running. And now I want to eat healthy bc it's easier to run after eggs and veggies for lunch, than a cheeseburger and fries. I want to lose weight so I can run faster!
Finding something that makes me feel so good in my own skin (for the first time in probably a decade) helped me to see losing weight and eating right as a reward I deserve, rather than a punishment for failing. It feels GOOD.
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** praiiiiiiise ! **0
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You put into words al lot of how I am going about this this time around! Thank you! Great post! I have had a blah week, feeling better this morn and your words just topped me up!! Have a great day!1
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